Princes of Sobu High
by Ausko
Summary: AU. Hayama and Hikigaya have befriended one another before arriving to Sobu; where different tropes are assigned to various characters and relations are swapped. Slight crack? Revision complete, post chapter 4 is new content. Thanks for continuing to read my story!
1. A Circus of a School

**Disclaimer: I do not own My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU or anything related to it.**

* * *

"Oi, Aneki, get up."

The covers of her bed slightly shift, before they are wrapped even tighter around her body. Hey, hey, hey don't be going back to sleep! If I to suffer through the entrance ceremony so do you!

"Stop being stubborn, get up already, we're going to be late."

This time, I actually start tugging on her covers. However before I can successfully pull off her blankets, she started physically resisting by pulling the covers back up and wrapping herself even further into them. Was that even physically possible? Any more and she'll end up becoming the damn blanket herself.

Growing tired of this little triad, I instead grab the whole damn thing, my sister included and respectively drop her on the floor, though not from too high of a height. I didn't want to hurt her or anything.

"Geeh!" She lets out a pitiful squeak after that, hmph serves her right. It's always a damn pain to wake up this child, when the hell will she actually act her age? Whatever, at this point I just need to her to get up and start her morning routine, 'cause damn does she take ten years to get ready.

…

…

Any day now.

…

…

…

OH SHIT DID I KNOCK HER OUT?

"Oi! Haru-nee, you okay? Shit did I actually drop you from that high? There's no way I did, did I?!"

At this point my mind was racing, what if she's suffocating in that tightly wrapped cocoon of blankets?! OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT. What do I do? Okay, relax Hachiman, there's a completely logical conclusion to all this, right? Right. All I have to do is stop and think.

…

YEAH, STOP AND THINK SHE'S DEAD, ARE YOU A DUMBASS?

Hey that's kind of mean, me.

FUCK YOU, WHAT IF SHE IS DEAD?

What if she isn't? Now that's the real question.

THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

No, no what is wrong with this world, your anger is misguided

?!

"Uwaah~"

Suddenly my sister bursts from the mound of pillows and blankets, yawning loudly, her hair in disarray, well more disarray than usual, and that's saying something.

"...?"

After awhile she just stands there making noises with her mouth as she opens and closes it, rubbing her eyes slowly in the process. She looks over to me, seemingly skimming over my presence before letting out another yawn and begins to strip off her clothes. Wait… WHAT?

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

Finally regaining my composure from my internal dilemma I'm shaken out of my stupor only to be greeted by my sister trying take off her shirt, she stops midway and glances at me sideways with an annoyed look.

"Why are you screaming so early in the morning?" She drawls out slowly, "I'm hot and getting sticky, I wanna take a shower hence, me taking off my shirt." She finishes in the same bored tone, completing her task once she finished speaking.

…

"Ehh!? What the hell are you doing in my room Hachiman! Ew! Gross! Trying to peep on your sister whiles she's sleeping?" She quickly recovers, covering herself up with her hands in the process.

"WHAT? Oh no, don't try playing the victim here you damn vixen! I came to wake you up cause we're gonna be late, yknow? Like I _always_ do?!" Is this woman mad?

Her face slowly morphs into one of questioning, as does mine. Huh, that's odd, I feel like I said something very important… but I can't really place my finger on it… weird.

"Just one quick question my dear Ototo, what time is it?" She asks in a blank tone.

"Hmm? Oh it's," I check my phone quickly, "almost 8."

She nods, once, twice, "hmm, I see, I see."

We share a glance.

"OH FUCK!"

"Balls."

We both realize the time and that the entrance ceremony starts at 8. In a flurry my sister takes off all her clothes in a flash.

"Guess we don't have a choice let's just have a quickie and get to school."

I nod, "right I'll jus- WAIT, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"

This damn girl, why the hell was I cursed with the bad luck of having someone like her as as sister? She can't even act her own age, a complete failure of a human being. She can't cook, has no idea how to work the washing or drying machine. I mean you literally just press buttons, yet somehow she screws even that up! Last time she tried, she ended up putting too much detergent and the whole machine starting foaming and leaking, not to mention she put both bleach and detergent in at the same time. Even though she sets alarms, she still needs someone to wake her up, this girl is utterly hopeless, but she is still my sister.

"Oh oops," she bonks her head and sticks out her tongue, "I stuttered."

"That doesn't even make any sense! Whatever! Just take a shower get dressed and I'll start the car."

"Care to join?"

"STOP IT."

* * *

Finally both my sister and I get in the car and make our way towards school. It wasn't anything exotic, but it was fairly nice. The damn thing wasn't too great on gas but what else are you going to expect from a sportsy(ish) coupe?

The scenery flies by, while I fiddle on my phone out of boredom, there wasn't much to do rather than read some trashy online, user-submitted passages from the internet. It's not like I had friends to text or any type of social media to check or something. I usually only ever use my phone for the rip-off-of-a-game they call mobile games that are locked behind paywalls, or to read, or to contact the few people I have in my phone. Speaking of the few people...

When I asked mother if I could move out, I was elated when she agreed. I found myself a small apartment in a complex, I insisted that I would be fine with a place far less expensive, but my mother wouldn't have any of it, especially cause my mother decided that my sister would be living with me as well. Again, of course she ruins all the good things that happen, but with the amount of how much mother and father work, the thought of leaving Aneki alone not only scared me for her well being as well as the house's, but also if she would actually be able to handle it. Unlike me, she was not a solitary person, quite the opposite actually. She was a social butterfly, and well liked, from what I've heard, by her classmates. Being alone made her anxious, and often would go into a reclusive mood if left alone for a certain amount of time. And, I guess her having a car helps a bit.

Ding!

?

Well that's odd, I'm pretty sure that was my phone going off, and lo and behold a text notification pops up blocking my reading. What a nuisance. I swipe my phone to check the message.

* * *

[From: Yato

Yo, Hikigaya, where the hell are you? You do know the ceremony already started right? You better hope your homeroom teacher isn't Hiratsuka-sensei, I heard she's a real stickler for tardiness. Text me when you're here, yeah? 8:12 AM]

[To: Yato

Blame my sister, you know how she is. We're actually pulling up now, see you in a bit. 8:13 AM]

* * *

I hear the engine shut off with a turn of the ignition, "we've arrived Hachiman." My sister tones out indifferently. I only nod as my response and follow her. We climb a few steps outside of the main building and follow a few pathways that lead into what seems to be a gymnasium.

"Well this is where we part, welcome to hell, Hachiman. I hope you enjoy your stay." She gives me a playful and wink and opens the double doors, making a loud ruckus. It seems a speech was going on, only to be interrupted by our sudden appearance.

My eyes opened up wide as I was now the center of attention, wait, why the hell are they all staring at me, no, better yet only me? I quickly look to my left and right, where the hell did that vixen go? Off to the side I see her waving to me discreetly from the 3rd years section. How the hell did she get over there so quickly?! No, no, that's not the problem right now, the problem is what the hell am I supposed to do with all these eyes on me! Suddenly I hear whispers from all the students.

"Who the hell is that guy?" What's with the hostility?

"Trying to make a grand entrance or something? You think he's a chuuni?" NO, YOU.

"Oh, thank god, that speech was making me want to kill myself." I feel you, man.

"Isn't that Hikigaya?" What? Someone knows my name?

"Hey, hey, who's he?" No surprise there.

"I don't know he's kind of cute though, right?" ?!

"No way, that's your brother, Haruno?!" Unfortunately, yes.

"He kind of looks like a delinquent…" Why does everyone say that? Its because of my eyes isn't it?

"What year is he from?" Take a guess, you literally have 33% chance.

I swallow nervously, now noticing all the teachers giving me glares, well some, others kind of look relieved for the brief interruption while others seems amused. Hey, I'm not some kind of circus show here people!

Finally I notice another discreet, or, not-so-discreet hand wave to me. His damn blonde hair and charming smile stands out like a needle in a haystack. Is that how that saying goes? Whatever, besides the point. Quickly averting all the questioning glances I make my way to blondie who happened to save me a seat, most of the girls and even some of the guys gave me jealous looks as I took the seat. Well, it's not my fault he likes me better than you randoms, how about you actually try and make some friends instead of clinging onto the other's cliques and fighting for scraps?

"It's about time you made it Hikigaya, I was starting to get lonely without you." He says in a disgusting voice.

And of course, even though he whispered it, or maybe it was _because_ he whispered it that it caused an instant reaction. I swear I heard something akin to blood squirting then a loud thump, but it was drowned out by our immediate vicinity rapidly talking among themselves spreading rumor after rumor like wildfire.

I heave a sigh, "why the hell do you always have to make things so difficult?"

"I dunno, I was bored this whole time, your fault for coming late." He says nonchalantly.

Some of the more courageous girls actually decided to confront us from various parts of the rowed seats, many students leaning into listen while others made room for others to express their questions.

"Ne, ne, are you two like going out?" A girl finally asks, while others emphasize her point by nodding their heads and yelling 'sore aru!'

"No of course not!"

"Of course we are."

I instantly look at the damn blondie, what the hell was he saying?!

"Im hurt you'd say something like that Hikitani-kun."

"What the hell are you saying, Yato?! And what the hell is up with that name?!" That's not even close to my name, at all! Before you know it, all these kids are probably going to start calling me 'Hikitani-kun' or some other grossly butchered version of my name. It's not even hard to say!

"Kya! They even have pet names for each other!"

"D-date me instead, Hayato-kun!"

"Wow, are they actually dating?"

"See?! If they can be open about their relationship so can we!"

"...Yato-kun? Pfft, AHAHA."

"Do your best Prince! Go for it!"

"Hikitani-kun? Never heard of him before, is he new or something?"

"H-how about we go on a d-date, Hikitani-kun?"

I just look incredulously at all my peers, are all these kids crazy?!

"What the hell is wrong with this school?!" I scream out.

* * *

After the ceremony I found myself in the faculty office, apparently my interruption with the ceremony wasn't going to go unpunished. However, from what I've heard it was a bit of a hassle to dish out a correct punishment. For one, I was new to the school, so it was understandable that I was late, I could easily blame it on me getting lost. Of course, that just painted the image of me being a lazy student as I could've toured the area before. But, I also had the excuse that I've recently moved residence, without my parents top it off, plus my grades weren't that bad, they ranked rather high apparently, so I guess I had a certain amount of Immunity. Sobu High was a prestigious school after all.

So here I found myself face to face with my homeroom teacher, Hiratsuka-sensei. A relatively attractive looking woman, if I was being honest. She seemed a bit young to be teaching, but with all the cosmetics out there and facial reconstruction its hard to actually tells someone's age nowadays.

"Hikigaya, Hachiman correct?" Her question snapped me out of my musings.

"Uh, yeah, that's me." Hey, hey, you should probably be a bit more respectful.

She gives me a hard look before sighing and rubbing her temples, "Look, I already have a lot on my plate at the moment with the start of the new year, dealing with you falls on a pretty low priority to be honest."

Well, gee, thanks sensei.

"But the higher ups want to 'keep an image' or whatever, so I'm left in charge of you, and with that, punishment for being late, to the entrance ceremony no less."

I nod, understanding, but not really knowing what to say. There wasn't much to add on.

"So, I've decided; I want you to join the service club." She said with finality, while also giving a smile. Wait, wait wasn't this supposed to be a punishment? Why do you look so happy about it? And is it really okay to force someone into a club? Just the thought of joining a club with these loony ass kids makes me shudder a bit. I could already imagine all the fake smiles and superficial bonds that I'll have to create, not to mention if they're second years I'd have to explain the fiasco that was the entrance ceremony. Damn that blond asshole.

"The… Service club?" What the hell was a service club? Sounds like some perverted club based off sexual innuendos, or maybe a slave-master kind of thing? Don't tell me I'm going to become an indentured servant! Why me?

"It'll be easier to show you, rather than try and explain it to you." I gave her an uneasy glance, to which she just laughed off, "don't worry, I'm the supervisor to the club, so you have nothing to worry about."

I don't see how that was supposed to make me feel any better, but I followed reluctantly. After a few minutes, I began to suspect for my well being; this enigma of a sensei kept walking and walking, seemingly out of school property, no, no seriously. I'm pretty sure we even entered a building that was pretty run down. Wait, was this place abandoned?! Calm down Hachiman, there has to be a logical explanation to this.

I'm here with my teacher, walking to some abandoned building on school property, with the hopes of joining this so-called 'service club'. Hmm, abandoned building, service club, alone, teacher-no young teacher...

THIS WOMAN IS A SEX OFFENDER ISN'T SHE? DAMN I KNEW I SHOULD'VE DONE BACKGROUND CHECKS; WHAT IF SHE-

"We're here Hikigaya-kun, this is-what the hell are you getting all worked up for?" Her voice shakes me out of my thoughts. She gives me a questioning glance with a- is that disgust in her eyes? Hey, hey, aren't you supposed to be a professional?

"I'm sorry?" I finally regain my ability to speak.

She slides open the door and we both walk in. It was literally an empty room sans a lone chair in the middle of the room, while in the back were stacks of chairs and and single table. There was a small table propped up against the window holding what seemed to be a tea set and a few books, a storage closet adjacent to it.

Wait, is this some kind of torture room or something?! Again, I start to grow nervous, looking around for a quick way to escape. This woman must be into some fucked up shi-

"Will you stop that already? You're awfully paranoid for a boy your age."

Well, excu~use me, sensei. I'm kind of in a foreign environment with little-to-no explanation and to top it all off, alone with you!

"This is the service club? Why is it empty?"

"Obviously because it's not club hours?" Wait, what's with that sarcastic tone? Aren't you supposed to be a professional, sensei? Belittling students is unbecoming of you, and quite frankly ruining the image of a dependable teacher I had of you yknow?

"I just wanted to show you how to get here, after school ends make your way here, okay?" She finally answers some of the questions that'd been bottling inside me. "Just remember this is your punishment, so attendance is mandatory."

"Hai, hai." I sigh out.

This makes her chuckle a bit, "it's only for a week, so relax. After you're free to quit or stay, whichever you choose."

I just nod in response, a week though?

"Anyways, let's head back to class, you've probably missed all the introductions, but after the stunt you pulled, I'm sure you'll have no trouble making friends." She gives me a lighthearted smile.

"Don't remind me, it's all that damn vixen's fault anyways."

She lets out a small laugh, "just how your sister described you'd be."

"...?"

* * *

We made our way back to class, since she was my homeroom teacher, we arrived to the same destination. Walking into class together made all chatter stop, and again all eyes were on me. Why the hell do I always find myself in these type of situations? Back at Kaihin everyone kind of ignored me, what's with the sudden change of hearts?

"Hello class, sorry for being late," she gave a quick thanks and a bow to the substitute put in her place before said sub exited the room, "I had other matters to attend to."

She began writing on the board, "as some of you may know, I am Shizuka Hiratsuka, your homeroom teacher. I already see a few familiar faces."

With that a few cheers were had among the class, while others looked around confused, I guess she was a bit popular as a teacher? Well, I couldn't really blame them, she was awfully young so probably a bit more easygoing than most teachers. She was attractive so she was good eye-candy for the kids having a hard time focusing in class, not to mention that attitude she has.

"As for him, well you've probably already heard of him, but I'll let him do the honors."

This elicited a few snickers, I gave her a sideways glare after seeing the mirth in her eyes. Those were the same eyes as Aneki! Why the hell do you look like my sister right now? Gross! I take it back, you don't look attractive!

Clearing my throat I look around the room about to start my introduction when I get a glimpse of blonde hair, "oh great, you're in my class now too?"

"That's cold Hikitani-kun."

"It's Hikigaya!"

After hearing laughter and a few whispers I realized that I was still in the front of my class and that I'd said that out loud. Letting out a sigh I threw my initial train of thought out the window and just winged it.

I look off to the side, already tired of this circus they call a school, "My name's Hikigaya Hachiman, I'm relatively new to the area as I've just relocated. I'm transferring from Kaihin Sougou High School." I give a slight bow, "please take care of me."

With introductions now over, Hiratsuka-sensei just told me take any seat. I made my way through the room, ignoring Hayato's incessant waving to take the seat a few desks behind him and a row over. Instead I took the seat next to the wall opposite the window next to the entrance. I know damn well all these kids are about to swarm once a break hits and I wanted to get out of here before that could happen. After taking a seat I glanced quickly around the room, as soon as I made eye contact with anyone, most turned away acting unnaturally natural. I know you kids were staring, stop making it so obvious.

I then catch Hayato's eyes and he gives me a disappointed look, I shrug my shoulders to him and then motion towards my phone. I'll text him later, in which he nods.

The rest of class was rather uneventful.

* * *

Shaken out of my daydreams, I hear the bell signaling time for break, well actually I was a bit slow as I finally noticed it after about the second or third tone. Great.

Being too late to make my great escape, the more courageous of students instantly swarmed my desk, while others simply moved closer to listen in.

The first one was a girl, "Ne, ne, you're Hikitani-kun from the ceremony right?"

No, I'm the other Hikitani from the ceremony- OF COURSE ITS ME YOU IDIOT STOP TRYING TO MAKE SMALL TALK. AND GET MY NAME RIGHT, SLUT.

"Ahah, yeah, that was me, I was just running a bit late and got lost. Though my name is actually Hikigaya."

Another voice, "Woah, duuude what the hell is up with your eyes, you like a yakuza or somethin'?

Blame my genetics for my eyes, you damn degenerate, you act like I was able to choose the way I look, what about you? What the hell is up with your haircut? At least you can choose how your hair looks.

"...I'm sorry?"

One slap, two slaps, "don't mind him, he's an idiot."

I nod.

Another voice, "So, Hikigaya-san how do you know Hayato-kun?"

Now this question made everyone quiet down and lean in. What the hell is with the sudden interest? Last time I checked him and I were on the absolute bottom of the social ladder. His blonde hair sticking out like a sore thumb and my eyes always gave us trouble. His hair always brought the attention of the neighborhood bullies when we were younger and he was often made fun of for it. Eventually things turned physical, but I digress.

"Oh, well, it's kind of a long story, but we met years ago. We kept in loose contact after going to different schools, though."

The reaction was instant, everyone let out a cry of disbelief, then instantly began whispering among themselves.

"A-ano, if you care to tell us we're willing to listen, break just started anyways."

Well, I guess there's no harm in telling them, it's actually a fond memory of mine.

"Well, I guess there's no harm in telling you guys, it's actually-"

I was about to start, however I saw Yato make his way through the crowd and instantly grabbed my head in a headlock, effectively choking me. What the hell are you doing, you bastard?!

"Let's give him some space guys, yeah? He's new and I'm sure he doesn't appreciate being interrogated so early. Isn't that right Hikigaya?"

"Recrsdack!" I try to yell at him but his hold only tightens and now I'm actually struggling to breath normally.

"You are sure right Hayato-sama." He says in a mock of my voice.

Are you an idiot?! There's no way anyone will believe that! And who the hell do you think you are adding '-sama' to your name?! I'm going to kick your ass after all this!

Some of the students look on nervously obviously uncomfortable with the sudden change, while others burst out laughing. Eventually the students left our vicinity and he loosened his hold on me, only letting me go after dragging me towards his seat. Once he finally lets me go I instantly begin to shout out at him and lunge across the desk.

"WHAT THE HE-"

Before I could finish my sentence he sends a smack to my mouth and counters my lunge with an elbow to my head forcing me to smack my face into desk. My head instantly shoots up from the pain and I cover my nose from the stinging sensation, tears forming in the corner of my eyes from the sudden shock.

"H-Hayato-kun! That's mean, no need to be so rough with Hikigaya-kun!" Finally a third voice joins in, "are you okay, Hikigaya-kun?"

Suddenly I feel a presence get up and start rubbing my back while her other hand holds mine, forcing my hand away from my face, "c'mon you're not bleeding or anything are you?"

I finally look up to see a very cute and worried face, her hair was obviously dyed, peach, an interesting color to say the least, but it somehow suited her. Wait, were hey eyes the same color?! Is she wearing colored contacts?

"U-uhh, no. I don't think so?"

She backs away and lets go of me, being able to see her fully now, I can't help notice her chest. God _damn_. Oi, Yato, hit me again so I can be embraced by this angel once again.

"Oh, he's fine, see? Just a little rough-housing with an old friend of mine." Fuck you, asshole! I swear I'll get you back for this!

"How come we never rough-house Hayato-kun?" A fourth voice whines. From a guy no less.

What the hell? Dude, that sounded totally creepy, how beta can you get? No, no that sounded really creepy! Just what kind of friends did you make while I was gone Hayato?

"Uh, ew? That sounded totally gross Tobe." A fifth voice now chimes in, a girl who busily typing away on her phone.

Oh c'mon, you're not fooling anybody with that tactic. We all know damn well you're not actually doing anything on your phone, but just silently listening in so you can join in whenever you want, or ignore us whenever you want. Putting on headphones would be more believable!

But I am inclined to agree with you, Little 'Ms. Antisocial'.

"Kya! Tobeechi and Hayama-kun rough housing under the sheets?! Now that's something I'd paid to see! Who do you think would be the top? The bottom?! Oh I'm getting all hot and bothered now."

… Fujoshi, enough said.

Regaining my ability to speak, "So, Hayato, you certainly made a merry band of misfits, huh?"

"Oh there not that bad once you get to know them, well maybe except those two, I don't know even know their names."

"Guh!" Both boys go into a corner with a depressive aura surrounding their head, drawing circles on the floor with their fingers. Weirdos.

"I'm Yuigahama, Yui! Nice to meet you." Oh what a beautiful smile this angel has, please marry me?

"Mirua." Ms. Antisocial doesn't seem to talk much either.

"And I'm Kakeru, Tobe! Hayato's number one best friend! Don't forget that, you random!"

Tch. Now, I'm not one to get petty over things like this, but the nerve of this beta. He's just asking to get bodied. I've known Yato way longer than you, and the amount of shit that we went through as kids could never be overcome by your superficial bonds.

But whatever helps you sleep at night.

Shortly after, the bell rings toning the end of break, guess it's time for the rest of my classes.

* * *

The rest of the day was rather uneventful, before I knew it, it was already time for school after-hours. Remembering my punishment I made my way to the so-called 'service club'. You know, that suspicious torture room ways away from the main school building? Literally someone could be stabbed, murdered, whatever and stored there, and I bet no one would even bother checking there! I wouldn't be surprised to find used condoms in the empty classrooms either, this place just begs to be exploited!

Soon enough I find my way to the room I'm suppose to enter, wondering what kind of club mates I'd have to meet. As I reach out to slide the door I hear a strange noise coming from inside the room. What the hell? Is that a… cat?

Pressing my ears against the door, I'm able to hear the sound more clearly. It most definitely is a cat… or a person making cat noises?

"Nya… Nyya, Nyaaa~."

What the actual fuck is wrong with this school? Now there's someone pretending to be a cat in this club too? Honesty I'm not as surprised as I should be. Heaving another sigh, I've been doing that a lot lately, I shrug my shoulders and casually walk in.

"Pardon the intru-"

As I walk in, I make my presence known from my voice, however before I can finish I'm hit with the most bizarre of sights. In front of me, dead center of floor is a girl. Well, that's normal if you don't include the fact that she looked absolutely stunning. Even from here I could tell her hair was silky, a light fragrance assaulting my nose due to the window being open. I couldn't really describe it other than just, 'girl'. She had captivating eyes, pure, unadulterated blue, something that is rarely seen in Japan. It was actually quite exotic, and I felt myself staring a bit longer than I should.

However all of that was relatively normal, right? I'd be inclined to concur however there was one major anomaly.

THIS FUCKING GIRL WAS IN A SCANTILY CLAD CAT COSTUME.

The girl was basically naked except for a furry-bra type thing, leg and arm warmers in the shape of cat paws that covered up to her elbow and knees respectively. Around her waist was a furry skirt-type thing that literally stopped once it hit her thighs. Two belts wrapped around each of her upper thighs and one over her chest. To top it all off, she had cat ears and fluffy tail trailing her, all stark white in color.

She soon sniffs the air, get on her knees and raises one of her 'paws' in a 'r' shape, tilts her and simply mewls at me.

Now, I'm not one to be easily flustered but this was beyond fucked in the head, I had to try really hard to force back the dark thoughts forming in my head, there was no way this was normal. Why the hell was I here again? For the service-club? Why the hell was there a naked woman in a cat costume here for a 'service club'?!

No, better yet what the hell is the goal of this club?! Wait, wait, why is this girl getting flustered too?! Does she know what she's doing? Oh now she's avoiding eye contact, is she going to cry? Fuck, maybe she was just cosplaying or something, oh damn. Did I walk into something I wasn't supposed to see?

"S-sorry! Wrong room!"

IT MOST DEFINITELY WAS THE RIGHT ROOM

I slam the door shut and prop my back against it, instantly I feel weight from the other side of the door and a small voice squeak out.

"W-was that not to your liking m-master?"

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS GIRL?!

Suddenly I feel her slide open the door, wait wait! I'm gonna fall you dumb girl!

"Kya!"

I find myself tumbling backwards into the girl, although I felt bad using a girl as an impromptu cushion, I was surprised by the softness, or lack there of, when I landed on her. Her chest definitely did not compare to that angel called Yuigahama.

Realizing how much of an ass I must look like, I get up quickly and offer her a hand, only to turn around and see her sprawled out very suggestively.

NO ONE FALLS DOWN AND LOOKS LIKE THAT, STOP TRYING TO SEDUCE ME YOU VIXEN.

"P-please be gentle."

"Okay that's it! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

"Why are you yelling? You mean it didn't work?" She laments quietly to herself, almost sadly.

She quietly gets up from her suggestive positioning and gets into a seiza position, wait what are you doing?

"I'm sorry, I was told this was how to make friends."

"...?"

* * *

"So you're saying this was all your sisters idea."

She nods.

"And that your goal was to make friends?"

She nods.

"And you knew of my arrival from Hiratsuka-sensei, and proceeded to try it on me?"

She nods.

I sigh, relieved to clear the misunderstanding. And kind of glad that it was me and not some freak that'd probably actually take advantage of her.

After the whole fiasco, I told her to put on some clothes before she began to explain anything. Back in her school uniform, I could say without a doubt, that she was most definitely cute, and gave off an adorably innocent vibe. Even though she changed out of that ridiculous costume, she refused to take off her cat ears and tail, saying it was part of her outfit.

We spent the better half of ten minutes talking about what she was trying to do, and how it was her sister's idea.

"Well, I guess that could work on some people to become your friend…"

At that statement she instantly brightens up, a hopeful look in her eyes,

"But!" I cut her off immediately, "I don't think that's the kind of friends you'd want."

She gives me a quizzical look not understanding. I let out another sigh, woman how hopeless can you get?

"But a friend is a friend, correct? I wouldn't mind if it meant I could make at least one."

"Wait, you're telling me that you don't have any friends?" That was odd, given her looks, then I remember the whole cat thing and her naive personality. I guess it wasn't too hard to believe but I felt like there was something more to it.

She breaks eye contact with me and gives a small nod, sadness filling her eyes.

I can not comprehend how loony this damn school is, truly it never ceases to amaze me.

"Well, how about this," she once again looks me in the eye, holy hell how do you keep someone's gaze for so long?

"What if we were to become friends?"

This had an instant reaction, immediately she jumps out of her chair and pounces on me. I hit the floor hard, causing me a lot of pain. I was about to yell at the damn girl, but she had tears in her eyes and a smile on her face.

"Oh thank you, thank you!"

She began to rub her cheek against my chest and was… purring? Hey, hey, you're not a damn cat yknow?

After a few minutes she regains her composure and sits up, well, straddling me could probably explain it better.

"My name is Yukinoshita, Yukino. I look forward to our friendship!" She purrs out happily.

Now, usually I would be fed up and annoyed with all the bullshit that's been happening to me lately, but seeing that smile on her face made me falter a bit. Instead I just gave an annoyed sigh and enjoyed the respite I was getting while laying on the floor.

Suddenly I hear the door slide open, "Yo, Hikigaya you here? I know I told you it was mandatory but-"

I instantly roll my eyes towards the top of my head to see who was at door while laying down, seeing Hiratsuka-sensei and looking back to Yukinoshita who just gives me a confused look and tilts her head in questioning, YOU'RE NOT A DAMN CAT!

I look back to sensei who just looks at me, then to Yukinoshita, then back to me. A few seconds of silence pass between the three of us.

"Pardon my intrusion, please, continue." And with that she quickly walks out the room and shuts the door behind her.

WAIT WAIT, TEACHERS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO CONDUCT THINGS LIKE THIS, WHERE'S YOUR PROFESSIONALISM SHIZUKA?!

"Hiratsuka-sensei come back!"

This school will be the death of me, I swear.

* * *

 **So, uhh, this is like my first time ever publishing anything, and this whole document manager confuses the hell out of me, so the formatting may be off, sorry.**

 **This was an idea that ran through my head a while back so I decided to write it out and see where it took me. I don't know if I'll just leave it as is (a one-shot) or continue it. I guess it'll depend on how well its received.**

 **Before anyone asks, yes, I did plan out how Hayama and Hikigaya met. My main goal was to make Hayama someone likable and a friend of Hikigaya while re-rolling the whole cast so I couldn't just rehash the original plot and sliding Hayama into it. Although I may of lost focus of that halfway through, oops?**

 **I'm contemplating on either taking on a more serious plot, or just leaving it slightly aloof and crack-ish, thoughts? If anyone even reads this (lol).**

 **Oh, and I'm curious as to what other people think, but does anyone really see both the Yukinoshitas looking like sisters? Honestly I think Haruno and Komachi look more alike than Yukino, but whatever.**

 **Guess that's all I wanted to say, read, review, favorite, follow, flame, dislike, or don't, that's fine. Feedback is much appreciated.**

 **Oh, and if anyone was confused, Aneki - Older sister, like how Aniki - Older brother.**


	2. Are All Girls This Crazy?

**Hey, it's me again. Surprised? Yeah me too.**

 **Due to the tremendous support I've received from you guys, I figured I'd make another chapter.**

 **Don't expect updates to always be this fast, I was just really excited with the amount reviews, follows, favs, etc. They really mean a lot to me! Especially since I'm so new to all this. Honestly, it was really heart warming.**

 **Special thanks to Sorashita Charyubi, for being my very first reviewer! (Even if you didn't enjoy the story [lol])**

 **I tried to respond to all the reviews as best I could, so if I missed you, I apologize, Ill get to it shortly.**

 **As for the guests review, uhh... I guess I'll respond to them here? Unless that annoys you guys, If so, then I guess all the anonymous reviews better make an account to get a response, Haha! No? Ill shut up now.**

 **Pewdepew** **: Hey, thanks a bunch! I'm glad I was able to get a laugh out of you, thank you for the support!**

 **hohoho : Yeah, many people don't like Hayama, that was the original intention of this fic, to shed him in a new light and make him likable, so (un)fortuantely he'll be making many appearances in this fic.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU or anything related to it.**

* * *

"Let me get this straight, the service club is here for the student body? As in, we fulfill any requests they have?" After getting Hiratsuka to come back into the clubroom, I was able to finally ask what the service club actually does for club activities.

"Mm, basically yeah. You guys are free to decline any request you receive however, but don't try to slack off, okay? We still are a club, after all." Well, I mean it's great that we can decline any unsavory requests we receive, but I still don't really see anything that people would need help with, I mean, maybe something like studying? I'm drawing blanks for anything else.

"And by 'we' you literally mean just the three of us?" I deadpan, after seeing the roster, or lack thereof.

Hiratsuka-sensei just gives a nervous laugh, "well… more like just the two of you, I can't really get too involved, I do have my duties as a teacher after all."

I give her an incredulous look.

"Oh come on, don't give me that look!" She whines, "I'm just the supervisor yknow? Plus Yukinoshita will be here to help."

At the mention of her name, Yukinoshita pipes up and looks around absently, gently nibbling on some cookies or crackers, or, I don't know some kind of pastry. As soon as we make eye contact she gives me a smile before focusing back on her pastries, nibbling away at them like she's some sort of cat. What the hell was up with her and cats anyways?

"Really? Me and her? I doubt we'll be able to do much to help the 'student body' she's… eccentric as ever, and I don't have many redeeming qualities either, I doubt two students will be able to make that much of an impact."

Hiratsuka-sensei just waves me off casually, "oh stop being such a downer, you never know until you try, plus if you really hate it that much you only have to stay for a week remember?"

At this Yukinoshita pipes up, "a week?"

She instantly locks eyes with me a sad look donning her features. Hey, hey, what the hell are you giving me that look for? I'm stuck here for the rest of the school year like you, yknow? It's not like I'm going to disappear or anything.

However, before I could say anything Hiratsuka gets another dangerous look to her eyes, akin to what Aneki looks like when she's trying to mess with me.

"Oh don't worry Yukinoshita-san, Hikigaya here will only be here for a week as it's his punishment for being late. He'll be out of your hair soon." She finishes off with a soft and caring tone, but I'm not fooled. She instantly shoots me a look of mirth. What the hell is she planning?

Before much could be done, much less, said, Yukinoshita immediately stands up from her chair, knocking it over and rushes to my side. Grabbing onto my arm she looks at me pleadingly, "only a week? I thought we were friends though." she finishes off with a downcast voice.

Hey, hey, what the hell is wrong with you? Just because I won't be in the club doesn't mean we'll stop being friends or whatever. Even though I felt guilty, I couldn't really take her seriously as she chewed on her pastry and talked at the same time. Hey! You're getting crumbs everywhere woman!

"Uhh…?" I was at a loss for words.

I look back to our adviser only for her to be covering her mouth while she laughed quietly at my expense. Wait… did this woman set me up?! She knew how lonely Yukinoshita was and used that against me! What kind of teacher manipulates her students like that?! Are you even a teacher?

Again my arm is tugged again, pulling my attention back to the human cat, "Ne, say it isn't true Hikigaya-kun."

As I'm about to retaliate, I was hit with full force of the saddest looking eyes a girl could possibly muster. When the hell did you become so damn cute?! Ahh, no one can resist eyes like those, damnit!

"N-no of course not, I'll be a full time member." WHAT?! What the hell are you saying, dumbass? A week! It was only supposed to be a week! Take it back, take it back now!

Yukinoshita instantly beams, a complete one-eighty in her mood. She rubs her face once more against my sleeve before lightly skipping back to her seat, picking up her chair and forcing it next to mine, continuing to munch on her pastries. She takes a bite of one, before thinking and holds it up towards me as an offering. I don't want your scraps woman!

I shake my head as a refusal, preparing to revoke my last statement, before-

"That's great Hikigaya! I'll get the official papers, actually you know what? I'll just put you in the system, no need for all the hassle of paperwork." She casually says, but her eyes are mocking me. I give her a glare, which only results from more laughter.

"Wait, sensei, I actually don't think I'm qualified for this club." This is it, this is my only chance to get out of it.

"Oh, really? Yeah, I guess you have a point. Well, that's a shame, don't you think Yukinoshita-san? I guess we'll just have him as an honorary member for the time being."

Stop bringing that damn cat into this! Getting her attention again, Yukinoshita stuffs the last of her pastries in her mouth before swallowing, slamming both her hands on the table.

"I am the president of this club and I think Hikigaya-kun is most definitely qualified for this club!" She whines out, oi, oi, try not to sound so childish, yeah? No one's going to take you seriously like that.

"Oh? Well, if you say so I guess I don't really have much choice, huh?" You, stop being so easily swayed! I know you're doing this on purpose you sly devil!

Yukinoshita nods her head in victory taking a seat once again.

"Wait wait, hold on." I interrupt, "I have no credentials of helping anyone out, not even volunteer hours or community service! I think me being a temporary member will suit me much better."

There, maybe that'll be enough to appease the damn clingy girl.

"No way, you already completed my request of me trying to make a friend! You definitely have the credentials now." She beams at me once again.

At this point i just let out a sigh, there wasn't any point in arguing any further, we've been talking in circles for the past ten minutes.

"Then it's settled! Hikigaya is officially the newest member of the service club! Please try your best."

"I'll be in your care Hikigaya-kun."

* * *

Shortly after club hours were finished. Hiratsuka-sensei left before Yukinoshita and I did, something about attending to her 'teacherly duties'. Whatever the hell that meant.

After locking up the clubroom, we both made our ways towards the front of the school. She was being eccentric as ever, occasionally rubbing her head on the side of her hand, like she was some sort of cat-human hybrid.

"Say, Yukinoshita," at the call of her name her attention turns to me, "what's up with you and cats anyways?"

She instantly flushes at the mentioning of cats, as do I when flashes of her in the cat costume briefly skim my mind. Quickly shaking my head to get rid of the thoughts.

"It's just…" she starts out timidly, "I've never been able to make friends easily, even when I was a kid. Even though many boys and girls would approach me throughout the years, I always had a feeling they didn't actually want to be friends. Like they we're more interested in being able to say that I was their friend rather than actually becoming one."

I didn't quite follow what she was saying, or how it had to deal with cats in general.

"I don't quite follow…?"

She gives out a small laugh, it sounded almost pitiful, "My little sister was one to make friends easily, the way her friends acted around her and each other, was much different than how my 'friends' acted around me and each other. They would spend time with each other outside of school, maybe even call each other from time to time, and go on 'friend dates' as she would call it. But the only times I would see my 'friends' were during class, not even outside of class, let alone outside of school."

Well that certainly didn't sound like friends to me, not that I'd be the best person to ask. However, why would they want to say that they were friends? There obviously had to be a motive.

"You said that they wanted to be friends just for the sake of having the title of being your friend, why is that?"

Yukinoshita gives me a startled look, like she was surprised that I was actually listening. Hey, have some more faith in me, yeah? That kind of hurts.

After a while of contemplation, she gave me a small smile before continuing, "I didn't really know either, I was just a kid. Only until my later middle school years did I find out. The guys obviously wanted to befriend me because of my supposed looks. My Imouto would always complain that I was blessed with the good looks, and that she wasn't, and being doted on constantly by family members kind of reinforced the idea."

Well, I guess I couldn't blame them, she was a very pretty girl; giving off a somewhat princess-like vibe, if you got past the whole cat impersonation thing. Speaking of which, this was the first time I've actually seen her act rather domestic and normal. Was that all just an act?

Sighing, she continued on her triad, "as for the girls, it was a bit more complicated. Most did it for the superficial 'fame' they got being acquainted with me I guess. As to why I was so popular? Even I don't know."

She stopped walking and stared off into the sky once we exited the building, "Cats have been the only thing that kept me company throughout all the years, and I just naturally click with them. So instead of hanging out with my friends I devoted most of my time to spending time with my cats at home!" She struck a pose after the last sentence, her arms making and 'r' shape and one of her legs raised behind her, bent at the knee. She playfully swiped at me, while I just looked on confused. "I even volunteered at an animal shelter."

"Eventually," she dropped her pose and continued walking, "I developed an 'unhealthy obsession', as my parents call it and picked up small nuances that cats do. When I got to high school, most people kept their distance and now know me as 'Nekomata', once they learned about my tendencies. It seems my popularity from middle school didn't quite follow. I spent my whole first year relatively alone." She finished sadly.

Well that was certainly news to me, although I can't honestly say that I'm surprised. A girl who picked up nuances of a cat? Let alone doing those said nuances in public with a straight face? What the hell was she, an anime character?

She now kept her head bowed, "I-it's true that I don't really have any friends. Sure there are some classmates who'll interact with me, and they treat me kindly; but most, if not all, keep their distance." She looks back up to me, with a bit of sadness in her eyes. "I never really had someone that I'd be able to call a true friend. That was why I made the service club, it's hard being alone, and I want to help others overcome their problems."

I looked at her with a bit of pity, she may had a few screws loose and her antics were bothersome to say the least, but she seemed like a nice girl.

"Then why were you so open to us becoming friends? Wouldn't it make more sense if I were to become friends with you just based on your looks? I barely even know you."

At first I thought she would take on anyone as a friend, especially with the way she acted back in the clubroom, not to mention pulling of her sister's idea. But it seems she wasn't as naive as I thought.

She looks up at me with a bit of a flustered face. Oi, you're going to make me start blushing too! Why the hell does it look like you're about to confess to me or something?!

"W-well, the fact that you asked that kind of refutes your claim, but I did see your whole little exchange during the ceremony. I saw that you were new, yet all the kids instantly swarmed to your side asking to be your friend, correct? You being new also meant that you didn't know of my reputation. Plus you have Hayama-kun as a friend as well, and even _I_ know how bad he is at making friends."

For one, no, those damn kids were being nosy, not trying to be my friends. Regardless of me being new, I would've come to the conclusion that you were obsessed with cats even without prior knowledge. YOU DRESSED UP AS A DAMN CAT OR ARE WE JUST GOING TO IGNORE THAT? And two, how the hell do you know Yato?!

"You know Hayato?"

She giggled, "More like know of. We went to the same middle school, he made quite the name for himself. His blonde hair brought a lot of unwanted attention, not to mention his tendency to be a playboy."

For the first time that day, I actually gave a smile. I knew that dumbass would get into trouble as soon as I wasn't there to back him up. It honestly surprised me how well liked he was in Highschool, truly it's like blonde hair was the new fad or something. Then again, it did kind of bother me how he was acting during class, always smiling and laughing at the pitiful jokes thrown his way, not to mention none of the guys trying to start a fight with him. At least he still had quick reflexes.

I had to change schools the last year of middle school, my parents thought it'd be more beneficial to attend a prep school for a year before my high school entrance exams. During the years I spent with Yato, he was always cocky and arrogant, always pissing off the wrong people while finding himself a new 'girlfriend' every other week. Honestly, thinking back on it, I probably should've kicked his ass too.

Eventually Yukinoshita and I arrived at the school gates, before I could say anything however, she'd already beaten me to the punch.

"I know you said you were willing to be my friend just to appease me. If you really don't want to, it's fine, you also don't have to be a full time member of the club; I could talk to Hiratsuka-sensei about it." She gave me a smile, though there was a definite hint of sadness to it.

I heave out another heavy sigh, what's with this domestic attitude all of the sudden? It's actually creeping me out more than your cat antics.

"Look, I don't really see the big deal with being friends or not being friends, and honestly I don't really care." I look her in the eyes, a flash of pain crosses her features very briefly like she's been smacked, before slowly nodding. This fucking woman, I swear.

I heave out another sigh, "But that's because I'm not one to worry about that kind of stuff, you on the other hand have experienced different things than I have, and honestly if I didn't have Yato being my friend all those years, I'd probably be in the same predicament as you, maybe even worse."

Recovering from her initial shock, a look of hope dons her visage, as she leans in expectantly, "I'm not saying I'll become your friend, but I am willing to get to know you, and I'm not one to go back on my word, so I'll keep the club membership. So- CAN YOU STOP THAT?!"

Throughout the my whole spiel, the damn girl was leaning in further and further with each point I crossed to the point where even _I_ had to take a few paces back. What the hell do you think you're doing woman?! Are you going in for a kiss or something?

As she steps closer, I keep stepping back until eventually my back hits the stone wall connected to the gates of the school. Hey, hey where did all this assertiveness come from? What happened to the domestic persona you just had a few seconds ago, no better yet, what happened to your cute side?!

As her faces inches closer and closer, I crane my neck away from hers, there's definitely something dangerous in her eyes! As I feel her warm breath tingle my face I instantly shut my eyes for the horror that is to come.

*lick*

DID SHE JUST FUCKING LICK MY FACE?! GROSS, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU! YOU'RE NOT A DAMN CAT!

Wiping my cheek furiously, I yell at her.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

She does her typical cat pose and swipes playfully at me, while giving me a wink, "See you in club Hikigaya-kun!"

Wait, was her tail swishing?

I shake my head, "Don't 'see you at club' me! Get your ass back here!"

I finally get my bearings straight and run up to her, grabbing her arm. "You can't just go around licking people's faces, Yukinoshita!

However, she somehow slips out of my grasp with ease, circles me and pounces on my back, her stomach pushed onto the back of my head, while her chest towers over me, her long hair flowing over my face, while I'm forced to grab onto her thighs before she fell and hit the pavement. How high can this girl jump?!

When I look up, I'm greeted by her face awfully close to mine; she gives me a playful look, something akin to a Cheshire cat's smile, "Gotta be quicker than that!" And again, playfully swats at me, and booped my nose; then jumps off of me with her knees as they dig painfully in my back. I let out a cry of pain, quickly trying to retaliate. But she was nowhere near me.

This damn girl! How is she so fast?!

And with that she scampers off into the distance, giggling the whole way, before she disappears from my sight. A feeling of dread soon overcomes me, I probably just made the biggest mistake of my life becoming friendly with a woman with as many screws loose as her.

How did that saying go? You don't stick your dick into crazy?

Sighing, I take out my phone, I was supposed to text the damn blonde asshole, but life just loves to get in the way of things, huh?

* * *

"So, tell me," I start of blankly, "WHY THE HELL ARE THESE GOONS HERE TOO?!"

"Woah, no need to shout Hikitani-kun"

Shut the hell up you damn beta!

"It's Hi-ki-ga-ya." I angrily bite out.

"Hiki-gay-a?"

"What?! No!"

"Did someone say gay?!"

After dealing with that cat-demon-of-a-woman, I texted Yato to meet up so we could finally catch up after these few years apart, little did I know, his merry band of misfits decided to tag along too.

We ended up in some random family restaurant, Size? Prize? Seize? Seizure? I don't know, it was some dumb name.

"Oh come on, they're my friends, okay? I just want all my friends to get acquainted with one another." What the hell is up with sickly-sweet sentimental statement? Gross. "There not so bad once you get to know them."

Right. The fact that you have to tell me that twice to reassure me, further solidifies the fact that they _are_ that bad.

"A friend of Hayato-kun is a friend of mine! Right best friend of mine?"

"Oh?" I give Yato a questioning glance. Best friend, huh?

"T-that's right, ahaha." He nervously chuckles out, loosening his collar. Oh I'm so kicking your ass after all this, I still didn't repay you from the whole stunt you pulled in class!

Oblivious to the hostile air that suddenly grew among the 'friends' Yuigahama, the lovely the angel herself, speaks out.

"Ne, ne, what're you guys getting? I think I want a strawberry shortcake, then a blueberry cheesecake! Ooo! Then a chocolate-mint milkshake, maybe a croissant too? Can't go wrong with a Sundae! And then…!" She lists all the options like a rapid-fire cannon, "I'll just get them all! Eheheh."

I just look at her with my mouth agape, I look at her friends who seem to be used to it, however little Ms. Antisocial seemed to making a gagging motion discreetly. We lock eyes and share a silent laugh.

"Can you really eat all of that?" I ask out, a bit jokingly.

Suddenly all the noise stops in the restaurant, no, literally, nothing. Then I hear a loud shattering noise, like someone dropped a plate.

...was it something I said?

I look around the table and everyone was giving me frightened looks, while slowly shaking their head. Suddenly I feel an oppressive aura next to me and- was that scary music playing? What the hell? Uhm, hello? Dear Mr. Restaurant owner, your music selection is really starting freak me out!

I slowly turn my head to my right, only to see Yuigahama wide-eyed, her eyes becoming hollowed out, stare straight into my face. I had to jerk back, to regain some footing in my personal bubble. A dark and depressing purple aura suddenly surrounded her, vaporizing off of her into wisps.

Were the damn lights flickering?!

Too close, Yuigahama! Way too close! And why the hell do you look like that! Where did my lovely angel go?!

"Are you trying to call me _FAT_ , Hikigaya-kun?" Her voice was barely above a whisper and it seemed to echo into my ears, her eyes still hollow as ever, seemed to be growing bigger and bigger, her face inching closer to mine, ever so slightly. I take it back, you are most definitely not an angel! You are the literal embodiment of Trihexa!

I swallow nervously, "N-no o-o-of course not, Yui-chan…" I quickly appease, swiping my hands in front of me as a sign of peace.

Instantly the dark depressive aura recedes back into her, the music goes back to light jazzy tune it was playing, as does the random noises of other patrons and the clinking of silverware against serving dishes. Her eyes return to the normal, lively peach. She gives a heartfelt laugh and smacks me on the back, once, twice, three times. With each successive smack I was slammed into the table in front of me. On the third smack, the wind was knocked out of me and I was sent into a coughing fit.

THIS GIRL WAS DEFINITELY NOT HUMAN!

"Oh you silly boy! *smack* You're so funny *smack*, Hikigaya-kun *SMACK*!" She laughs out, before receding into a ball, pointing her pointer fingers together, her face flustered and avoiding eye contact with me.

What the hell is wrong with you now, Trihexa?

She gives a small giggle, lost in her own world, "He called me Yui-chan." She quietly laments to herself. Everyone around the table breathes and audible sigh of relief.

Yato, you have a bunch of fucked up friends.

Before anymore could be said, our waiter, or waitress, finally came to our table and takes our order.

* * *

"Pwaahh! Im stuffed!"

I look around the table as various plates have been stacked as towers, filling up each open spot. Seeing Yuigahama eat was… interesting to say the least. I don't think it's even physically possible for a girl that small to even eat that much. Even if you give the bullshit excuse of it going to her breasts! If anything this just further proves that this girl was definitely not human!

I look around the table, only to see little Ms. Antisocial, turning a bit sickly pale, and covering her mouth, dry heaving. Huh, she must really not eat much. Honestly, even I lost my appetite after seeing Trihexa devour enough food that could feed three small families.

Great the only two cute girls that I've met so far are:

1.)The literal personification of the Apocalypse

2.)Crazy, bipolar, overly clingy Nekomata

Pick your poison! I guess it's your time to shine little Ms. Antisocial; though knowing my luck, she's probably just as crazy, maybe even more so, than those two!

"So, anyone up for dessert?" Yuigahama pipes up once again oblivious to the atmosphere.

" _ **No!**_ " The whole table shouts. Yuigahama just sulks a bit whilst putting her head down, how the hell are you still hungry?! And you ate all their dessert options regardless!

I pull out my phone to check the time, it was quarter to eight. It's probably time we- OH SHIT, IT'S ALREADY THIS LATE?!

Nervously unlocking my phone, I had a feeling of dread wash over me. I swallow nervously before glancing slowly down to the bottom of the screen. SEVENTY-TWO MESSAGES?! Why the hell was my phone on silent?!

To top it all off, I had five missed calls. Oh man, this was bad, this was really bad! Quickly jolting up from my seat, which startled everyone at the table, I quickly apologize.

"Sorry guys, I have to get going immediately." Yato gives me a look, "It's Aneki." I quickly add. Only to see his face morph into understanding.

I quickly place some bills down on the table to pay my meal, and extra to offset the amount Trihexa ate, before bolting out of the restaurant. While I was running, I quickly open the phone's messenger.

* * *

[From: Haur-nee

Hey, Hachiman, what'cha doooin? 4:12 PM]

[From: Haru-nee

My dear Ototo, I'm getting bored, where are you? 4:30 PM]

[From: Haru-nee

Hachiman, school ended a while ago, where are you? 5:00 PM]

[From: Haru-nee

Are you ignoring me? 5:15 PM]

[From: Haru-nee

Oh I see how it is, you're too cool to talk to your Onee-san once you hit high school, that's cold Ototo. 5:20 PM]

[From: Haru-nee

Seriously Hachiman, it's getting late, where are you? 6:00 PM]

[From: Haru-nee

I know you have your phone on you, Hachiman. 6:00 PM]

[From: Haru-nee

ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE HACHIMAN. 6:10 PM]

[From: Haru-nee

Seriously Hachiman, you know I hate being alone at this house. 6:30 PM]

[From: Haru-nee

Hachiman I'm getting lonely, please come home. 6:35 PM]

[From: Haru-nee

I get it, you hate me. 6:37 PM]

* * *

The rest of messages get progressively worse and self-deprecating. Eventually the messages turned into spam containing just a dot, before they stop all together. Damnit! She always gets like this when I leave her alone too long, This girl has abandonment issues, I swear.

I thought that I texted her when I was going out with Yato, but I guess not. Looking at the messages, I notice that my reply wasn't sent and was just a draft! I didn't press send? Are you an idiot, me?! The last message was… 7:14 PM. It's 8:03 PM, what the hell has she been doing this whole time? Whatever no time to think on it now. I burst through the front door of our complex, ignoring the annoyed greeter and rush to the elevator, taking me to the upper floors.

I sit and lean back on the railing, trying to catch my breath, it's times like these I wish I had a car, or at least a bike!

 _Ding!_

As the elevator doors open, I bolt out, almost running into a smaller girl with short hair and clipped bangs. I instantly twist my body and rush past her, yelling out an apology.

"Watch it, asshole!"

I quickly pull out my card and slide it into the the electronic lock to our apartment, quickly closing it behind me. I look around the apartment, it was really dark. Was she sleeping? Doubtful.

I quickly take off my shoes, "Im home!"

No response, I walk further into our apartment and head for the 'living room', though it was more just an open area in front of the kitchen with a view of the city below. The TV was on and a lone figure was sitting on the couch, her knees tucked into her chest with a blanket wrapped tightly around her. I walk over to the couch where I find myself standing behind her and the couch, while she faces the TV.

"I'm back Aneki." I call out to her, no response.

I circle the couch to get a better look at her, but she turns her face away. Oi, stop being stubborn. I join her on the couch, yet she still refuses to face me.

"I'm sorry for not answering my phone, I forgot it was on silent from school. A lot of things happened and I lost track of time."

No response.

"Actually I've been forced into a club as punishment for being late to the ceremony, thanks for that by the way," I say jokingly, a smile on my face. I see her give a quick glance, before she resumes staring out the window. So it's gonna be like that, huh?

"Yup, and guess who it was? It was Hiratsuka-sensei no less!" This seemed to peek her interest, I could tell she was listening, even if she wasn't facing me. At this point, I moved close enough to where our shoulders were touching. She always responded better when physical contact was involved

I continued to explain what happened throughout my day, trying to be as lively and animated as ever. She slowly started warming up to me again, by the time I got to the part where I was questioning what the service club did with Hiratsuka and Yukinoshita, Aneki finally turned around to face me, attentive as ever. I was going to continue, until I felt the words die in my throat.

Looking at my sister, she seemed back to her usual self, somewhat, and she was intently listening even smiling. However when I saw her eyes, they were all puffy and red. It occurred to me that she was probably crying during the discrepancy of time between the last text and now.

Now, I know that it may come off that I hate my sister; true, I do find her annoying, worthless as an older sister, a complete reject of a human being, and a general pain in my ass. But she still was my sister, a life long companion that I had. Mother and Father have always been working long hours ever since we were kids, it's probably the reason we're able to afford all this stuff; however this led to Aneki and I, inadvertently raising each other and we probably knew each other better than our own selves. So, no, I don't hate my sister, in fact I love her dearly, more than anything.

"What's wrong, Hachiman? Why'd you stop." She quietly speaks out, a pitiful sound from what is her normal easy-going and carefree voice. It didn't suit her at all, and honestly the thought of her crying that whole time left a bad taste in my mouth.

Hearing her voice snapped me out of my prior musings, looking into her eyes, I acted out on impulse.

I quickly brought her into a soft embrace, resting my chin on her back and leaning my head against hers. She was surprised, but quickly returned the embrace. After a few moments I could feel tears on my shoulder, I knew it, she wasn't fine. I don't what sparked it, but she never liked being alone, hated it in fact.

When I was younger, I would always find it annoying finding her wherever I went, when all I wanted to do was be alone. I mean, didn't she have friends to hang out with? Why not go bother them? Of course, as a kid I didn't really understand the dangers of kids playing outside late at night. One day, I was so fed up with her being clingy that I decided to hide in one of our house's many storage closets. All I wanted to do was play some games on my portable game station. Soon enough I heard her calling for me, I ignored it, being the selfish brat that I was. It became more and more frantic as more time passed by, and of course our parents weren't home. After a few hours I came out of hiding, bored of my game. I went to go look for my sister, but couldn't find her in our usual playing spots. So I checked her room, then mine. I found her in my room curled up on my bed. She was asleep, but I could see tear streaks down her face, and obvious wet spots on my pillow. Even as a kid, it didn't sit too well with me, seeing her like that.

I loosen my grip as I hear her quiets sobs subside a bit, spacing myself from her, before looking her in the eyes.

"I'm sorry." I quietly say.

She laughs softly, before flicking my forehead, "this kind of reminds me of when we were kids."

At some point, I don't know how it happened, but I found myself sitting with my back against the couch, facing the TV in front of us, while she had climbed onto my lap her arms wrapped around my neck, and her face pressed into the nape of my neck.

Since I was always bigger than her as kids, I would often find myself in this same position to comfort her when she cried, or carrying her on my back while she slept. Honestly, it always felt like I was the older sibling.

"Oi, we're not kids anymore." I breath out annoyed. Although our sizes were still proportionate to how we were as kids, the obvious difference was the development of both our bodies. I could feel her chest press against mine, and I was forced to hold her lower back lest she fall down.

"It's fine, this is your punishment for leaving me alone this whole time." She talks into my neck, which sent a slight shiver through me. Watch where you talk you damn vixen!

After a few minutes, I was becoming sore from staying one spot for so long, "Oi, Aneki, get off, I still need to take a shower."

No response.

I stop and listen, then look down. Guess she fell asleep. Sighing, I pick her up gently and go to her room to tuck her in, before I start my nightly routines.

* * *

After finishing up and changing into something more comfortable I decided to make dinner, knowing my sister, she was probably waiting for me all day. I shake my head at the thought and laugh to myself on how useless she is without me.

Turning off the stove, I finish setting up dinner, placing the necessary dishes on the table before I walk to my sister's room.

I knock on her door, "Dinner's ready."

Instantly, she shoots out of her bed, runs past me, and into the dining area where I hear her already starting to eat. Hey, hey, isn't it common courtesy to wait for others to join before you start eating?!

As I join my sister, I already see her devouring everything on the table at a blinding speed, it reminds me of a certain Apocalyptic, peach-haired being. All of the sudden I don't find myself that hungry anymore. I just silently sip on some tea while nibbling on some cookies that we had left over.

"Slow down before you choke." I chide her.

She stops a bit, her mouth full of food, what the hell are you? A chipmunk? She gives me a glare short before swallowing all the food in her mouth defiantly.

Hey, hey, I know what I said, but you don't have to be so petty about it, you might actually choke!

A visible lump is seen go down her throat, before it stops half way through and I see her face contort into one of discomfort. She immediately tries to force it down, while banging her chest with her hands in the shape of a fist.

I just silently, watch in smug amusement, sipping casually on my tea. I told her didn't I?

"I told you to slow down."

I open one eye, while I raise my cup to take another sip, and I'm met with one of her glares, before she resumes banging her chest. That's taking an awfully long time to get down, and why was her face getting red?

…

…

OH SHIT SHE'S ACTUALLY CHOKING

"Oi, drink some water you idiot!"

Immediately I rush over to side with my cup. She gives me a hard glare before swiping it out of my hands, and instantly downs the whole cup. Suddenly she spits back into my face.

HOT HOT HOT, OH SWEET MOTHER MARY, THAT SHIT BURNS!

Turns out, it was my freshly brewed tea that I gave her and not water. I was about to get angry at her, but now she came to the point where her face was getting really red, and the breathing through her nose was getting haggard. Panicking I quickly make my towards the kitchen and throw open the fridge.

"Hang on Aneki! I'll get you some water!"

As I search through the fridge, I realize we were out of bottled water. Oh the fucking timing of- WHATEVER

Quickly, I grab a glass from our cabinet, and run over to the sink and fill it with water. I come back to where my sister was and hand it to my sister, however she just looks incredulously at me, and shakes her head vigorously.

What the hell is your problem now?!

I then realize that she probably saw me fill up the cup from the sink, and is now refusing to drink it. She never did like tap water, and was a super picky when it came her food.

"Are you being serious right now?! I don't think now's the time to be picky about something like this! Just drink the damn water!"

She continues to shake her head, while backing away from me.

Stop being a damn child!

I try to force the cup into her mouth, but she refuses to let the glass get anywhere near her mouth, and she ends up knocking it out of my hand, splashing the water all over me.

Great, just fuckin' peachy.

She gives me a defiant look, before she resumes banging her chest once more, tears welling up on the corners of her eyes, her efforts to get the food down becoming more frantic.

OH FOR THE LOVE OF-

I quickly go through all of drawers, ripping them open, slamming all of our cupboards open, and in general making a loud frackus.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, it'll still be about ten minutes before the tea settles down for that damn cat tongue of her's. She starts making noises with her mouth closed, telling me to hurry up.

It's your damn fault for eating too fast, and for being such a picky eater! We have running water for crying out loud!

"What the hell do you want me to do? Go to the store and get you some water?"

She nods frantically.

"You'll probably be dead by the time I make it back, idiot!"

She gives a thoughtful look before nodding acknowledgement. Take this more seriously!

Suddenly I hear knocking from our door. Wait, that meant people, and people meant water! Maybe these people had water!

I quickly bolt to the door and rip the door open, effectively cutting off whatever greeting

"HEY DO YOu, have… any… wa...ter…?"

I just blankly look at the person at my door, her head tilts in questioning, yknow like how a cat would? Huh, that's odd, the only person I know that acts like a cat is…

Nope.

I instantly shut the door, not even bothering to wait for an answer. I am _not_ dealing with that woman.

"Hey, that's mean Hikigaya-kun!" She keeps knocking on the door, "open up! Aren't we supposed to be friends?"

"Like hell we are!" I yell through the door.

Suddenly something grabs my leg and I jump out in surprise, what the fuck?!

I look down to see Aneki crawling through the floor, her face flushed, eyes watering. Oh shit she's actually going to die!

I quickly open the door, where I see Yukinoshita knocking on nothing for a solid eight seconds before realizing nothing was there.

"I'll let you in if you have bottled water." I quickly negotiate.

She looks at me confused, not really understanding, "You have ten seconds before I close the door!"

Registering my words, she nods her head vigorously she scampers away to , what I think is, her suite.

* * *

"Pwaah~!" Finally getting bottled water, my sister downs the whole damn thing one go, effectively forcing her dinner down as well.

I let out a tired sigh, this day has just been way too stressful.

The three of us found ourselves surrounding the coffee table in our living area. Aneki and I were seated on the larger sofa, while Yukinoshita sat across from us on a la-z-boy. Before this, Aneki finished eating, while Yukinoshita and I had our fill of tea and cookies.

"So you're telling me you came over only because you heard a loud noise, and thought that someone might've forced their way in?"

She nods.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing you came, or else this idiot here probably would've died."

I receive a smack to my shoulder, "Hey! It's not my fault the food got stuck in my throat!"

Yes, yes it most definitely is.

"Actually it is, you're the one who stuffed her damn face like there was no tomorrow."

"Well if a certain _someone_ didn't come home so late, I wouldn't starving in the first place!"

She takes on an offensive stance, getting slightly in my face.

"And that's my fault?" I challenge.

"Of course it is!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

By this time, we were already butting heads, before I hear a soft sneeze. Looking over I see Yukinoshita rub her nose a bit, before continuing to nibble on the small assortment of cookies. After about twenty seconds, she realizes that we stopped and drops the cookie from her mouth in shock.

"O-oh, don't mind me, please continue." She resumes nibbling on the cookie that she dropped, only to look back at us expectantly.

"So who is this girl again?" Aneki asks.

I sigh, "remember when I told you about that cat girl? Yeah, this is her."

"Hey!" She tones out indignantly.

"What? It's true." I offer.

"Yeah, but…" She searches for an excuse, "you don't have to introduce me to people like that, how am I supposed to make friends that way?"

YOU'RE WEARING CAT EARS AND A TAIL, OR ARE WE JUST GOING TO IGNORE THAT?!

"Hoooh?" My sister, looks on with curiosity, "well you certainly made a unique friend Hachiman."

This catches the attention of Yukinoshita. Oi, did your cat ear just twitch?!

"H-hachiman?"

Wait, wait, why the hell are you saying my name like that; and why are you getting all flustered over it!

"Oh? He didn't speak of me?" My sister starts off, "how cruel Hachiman. I'm hurt you wouldn't mention your girlfriend to her. Or perhaps you thought of having an affair? You naughty boy.

"G-g-girlfriend?! A-affair?!" Suddenly Yukinoshita face turns bright red and her cat ears and tail stand on end. When the hell could those things move on their own?!

"Like hell you are!" I shout out.

* * *

 **So, yeah... I don't really know how to feel about this chapter. My original intention was to make this a one-shot, so I had to back-track a bit, sorry about that.**

 **The good news, or maybe bad news to some, is that the majority of those gave me feedback said they'd prefer a more light-hearted and crack-ish type story while still having a plot, but not one super in depth. So, uh, yeah. There's that, I mean it's subject to change, but I think I'll stick to this formula for now, eheh.**

 **Oh, and on a personal note, spring semester just started so I'll be super crunched for time soon, maybe two weeks, when classes actually kick into full gear. Though I do have a lot of breaks this time of the year, so, silver lining.**

 **How'd you guys think of this chapter? Did you love it? Was it okay? Not to your expectation? Should I just go Kill myself for being such a bad writer?**

 **Hey, I'll never know unless you write a review and give me feedback *wink* *wink***

 **Haha. no but seriously, all feedback is very much appreciated and I promise to get to all my reviews, even if they are flame. Who knows? Maybe you can have an impact on the story :D**

 **Also the pairing is undecided (if there'll even be one) so that's another thing you can impact and a reason to review ^-^**

 **Okay, I'll stop with the self-advertisement now.**

 **15 reviews / 700 views, I mean hey thats a .02 review rate, infinitely better than zero!**


	3. The Meeting of Princes

**Hey guys, Ausko here with another chapter. A bit quicker than I thought it'd be, but college hasn't really been kicking my ass like I thought it would. Give it two weeks or so.**

 **I want to thank and welcome all my new followers/favorite(ers?), honestly its you guys who give me the drive to push out more content.**

 **Since I forgot last chapter, special thanks to LyingHikki for being my first ever follower/favoriter!**

 **Also thank you for all the PM's it's nice knowing what an active community this has!**

 **Since no one complained about guest reviews, I guess I'll still respond to them here.**

 **Csmre : Hey, you never know, the pairing is undecided so maybe it will be. Though doing that is akin to opening a can of worms on this website. I appreciate the feedback!**

 **Pewdepew : Hey thanks man! I'm glad to see you enjoying this AU. I appreciate the compliments! Don't worry, they'll make their appearances soon, though don't quote me on that. Thanks for another review!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU or anything related to it.**

* * *

"Wait, so she isn't your girlfriend?" Yukinoshita asks after recovering from her initial shock, her tail raising off the couch, then slowly dropping back onto it at spastic intervals, like she was nervous.

Oi, aren't those just props? How the hell are you moving your tail? And I'm pretty sure your ears were moving on their own too!

"No, of course not!" Can't you tell we're related?

As soon as that statement leaves my mouth, I feel my sister press up against the side of my arm, her arms wrapping around my lower torso and she rests her head on my shoulder.

"Mouu~, I don't see why you're so incessant with denying my love for you, Hachiman." She presses herself even further into me, what the hell do you think you're doing?! Get the hell away from me you damn vixen!

"Maybe because," I pry her hands around from me, while at the same time shoving my hand against her face to push her away, "we're related?! Stop giving her the wrong idea!" As I continue to struggle against her grip, I find myself entangled with her. She moved her head enough to the point where my hand was no longer able to push it away and I focus both of my hands onto the arms snaking around me. When the hell did she get so strong?!

Throughout our whole fight I failed to notice Yukinoshita awkwardly typing away on her before getting up and heading for the door, only to return with another girl at her side. By the time I finally got my sister off me, and forced her an arm's length away I look up to see Yukinoshita come rejoin us with a smaller girl, why does it feel like I've seen her before?

"Hey you're the asshole who almost ran me over!" Her voices catches my attention, and I look at the owner's voice while both my hands are focusing on keeping my sister a maximum distance away.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" Then it dawns on me, smaller frame, shorter hair, clipped bangs, cute face, blue eyes. This was the girl I ran past when I came out bolting out of the elevator.

"Well, no…I think?" she falters.

What the hell do you mean 'you think'?! Why are you getting confused all of the sudden?

"How many girls are you fucking behind my back, Hachiman?!" My sister yells out finally, prying her head away from my hand, before lunging at me and knocking me off the sofa.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING?!

* * *

I find myself once again around the coffee table as I set down a fresh assortment of cookies and freshly brewed tea. Yukinoshita and the smaller girl now took Aneki and my original seat on the larger sofa, while my sister took the la-z-boy and I sat on its armrest.

"This… is my sister." Yukinoshita starts off awkwardly.

Wait you're telling me this girl was the one who thought of that crazy ass cat costume? Not to mention how you specifically acted in said cat costume?!

"My name's Yukinoshita, Komachi! Yukinee-chan talks a lot about you."

At the mention of this, Yukinoshita flushes, the older one, I mean. Damn am I going to have to call her by her first name now?

"K-komachi!"

Ignoring her sister, this 'Komachi', continues, "so how'd you like my little clubroom surprise? Was it to your liking? Did you two do the nasty already? How was it?!" She leans in expectantly.

...what the hell? I take it back, you are most definitely not cute.

Suddenly I feel a pair of hands wrap around my neck.

"So you _are_ sleeping with girls behind my back!" My sister yells out, while applying pressure around my neck. I try to refute her claim, but she was actually choking me! Hey, hey, I can't defend myself if I can't speak woman!

I look over to Yukinoshita pleadingly, say something! You were there too weren't you?!

"Y-yes, it was most enjoyable." She squeaks out embarrassed, face flushed and her tail rapidly whipping back and forth.

"Kyaa~! Give me details, Nee-chan, details!"

Oi! Oi! What're you saying?! TAKE IT BACK, TAKE IT BACK NOW! I'LL ACTUALLY DIE WOMAN!

I look over to my sister whose head was lowered, her face covered by her bangs, I swallow nervously as I feel her hold around my neck loosen.

Suddenly she look up to me, tears her in her eyes, "Wuaaaah~! You're such a jerk, Ototo! How can you give attention to all these girls while I sat home all alone! Meanie, nincompoop, Hachiman!"

She starts pounding on my chest with her fists, oi, you're not a damn kid! Act your own age for once! And how many times do I have to tell you? Hachiman isn't an insult!

Suddenly she stops, a thoughtful look on her face, "there's only one way around this!" She nods her head, agreeing with herself.

"I guess, we'll just have sleep together to make it even!" My sister finally yells out in triumph.

What kind of stupid ass logic is that?! Stop causing misunderstandings you sex-depraved woman!

"O-oi! Stop that, keep your hands to yourself!" I scold her, grabbing both of her hands, stopping their advance.

"Ohoh~? What's this? A lover's quarrel? Did I just instigate some sort of secret affair? You think they'll have some steamy make-up sex?"

"You! Stop complicating things! A girl your age shouldn't even be talking about stuff like that!"

What the hell is wrong with that girl?

"Oh, I like boys who're assertive, raeerr~!" She mimicks a cat noise, we're all the Yukinoshitas cat people!?

I look over to Yukinoshita, asking for help with these sex-crazed girls, only to see her absently nibbling on the assortment of cookies, looking onto the whole exchange with morbid curiosity.

"Pay attention to me, Hachiman!"

"Can you cut that out, Aneki! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"This is like one of my ecchi light novels! The main protag gets surrounded by three lovely girls, taking off all their clothes before they all * * * * * * * * * and force him to * * * * * * * * * * their holes* * * * * * * *!"

 _ **Ding, ding, duong, ding:**_ _This a Public Service Announcement, due to the rating of the story, the following passage has been censored. We apologize for any inconvenience._

I just stared wide eyed at small girl, as does my sister. Yukinoshita continues eating her cookies, seemingly used to her sister's antics but still had a visible redness to her cheeks.

At the end of her triad, the younger Yukinoshita pants heavily, face flushed.

I am honestly at a loss for words.

* * *

I plop down on my bed, face first and release a groan as I recollect the events of the day. Today was just full of surprises, mishaps, and overall inane bullshit. Continuing at this rate will surely make me become insane, or at the very least, be the death of me.

Shortly after the younger Yukinoshita's episode, Yukinoshita felt it was getting late, in which I concurred. We eventually exchanged pleasantries with each other sans Yukinoshita's sister who was insistent on getting to know what exactly happened in the clubroom.

I roll over to look at the ceiling, I was exhausted if I were to be completely honest, I didn't get to catch up with Yato that much either, a shame really. I was actually kind of excited to transfer to Sobu High, but after all the events as of late, I'm starting to think that staying at Kaihin would've been a better bet. At least the people there were somewhat normal, keyword there being 'somewhat'. I wasn't that popular at Kaihin, most people just ignored me to be completely honest, which was fine. However, for whatever reason coming to Sobu all of the sudden made me Mr. Popular, although that was probably mostly due to that damn blonde asshole's antics.

Speaking of which, I'm honestly surprised at how popular said blond asshole really was. Sure he did have a reputation when we spent our years together, but it wasn't a very good one.

I still remember that fateful day we got acquainted with one another.

* * *

[Around 4 years ago]

 _As I was walking home from school I couldn't help but notice a little scuffle happening in the park that was close to my neighborhood. Four boys surrounded a younger one, a pretty frail looking boy who was currently on the floor curled up into a ball receiving a few kicks and insults while on the ground. His clothes were becoming dirty due to the sand pit they were in, as his golden hair became matted with sweat, blood, and dirt, turning into a sickly brown color. I stopped and looked on in morbid curiosity, feeling pity for the boy. I was often the victim of bullying as well, but it never had gotten to the point where it became physical. The closest being open and public ridicule by the 'popular' kids, where the rest of the class would join in with their own insults or laughter. They were pretty easy to ignore, and I was left alone most of the time anyway._

" _What kind of fag dyes his hair blonde?" I hear one of the older boys sneer._

" _You trying to get more attention from people or somthin'? Well you certainly got ours!" Another one joins in._

" _Hahaha! He probably thinks he so cool, but look at him, groveling on the floor like some sort of animal. How pathetic!" A third one laughs as well._

 _I tightly grip the strap of my bag, it wasn't like me to get so worked up over stuff like this. Hell, no one ever came to_ my _aid. The ones who didn't join in usually looked away, feigning ignorance, while others looked on with guilty looks, but still refused to do anything._

 _Damn cowards, the whole lot of them. Their all a bunch of damn cowards!_

" _I...i-it's not… dyed." Suddenly the boy on the floor speaks out, through ragged breaths._

 _All the older boys suddenly stop their musings and eased up on their assault._

" _Huh? You guys hear somethin'?"_

" _I don't know, sounded to me like a little kid wanting another round of ass kicking."_

 _One of the boys cups his ear and leans down mockingly, "I'm sorry, what was that? I couldn't quite you."_

 _I now had a clear view of the boy as the bullies repositioned themselves around him. Well, his looks certainly stood out. He was about my height, maybe a little shorter, I'm guessing around my age too. His blonde hair was certainly a stark contrast to what you usually saw in Japan, not to mention his eyes, a dark steel-grey._

" _It's not dyed!" He yells out, "my hair is natural, you stupid fucks! What kind of dumbass dyes his hair anyways?! It's not my fault you assholes are blessed with your shitty genetics. Or are you just too fucking stupid to even tell the difference?!"_

 _I can see a look of defiance in his eyes, and the bullies are shocked by the sudden outburst. As he gains his footing back, slowly rising off the floor, he continues._

" _You think I like having blonde hair? You think I enjoy sticking out among my peers? You think I asked for this fucking hair?! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU KNOW?!" At this point the boy was going absolutely berserk a crazed look in his eyes, even getting into one of the bullies faces._

 _Said bully even took a step back in what seemed like fear, before his companions were shaken out of their stupor._

" _T-the hell are you talking about?! Don't get cocky kid!" And with that a haymaker was sent to the blonde boy's face, who was thrown back to the ground._

" _Who the hell are you calling stupid, huh?!" And with that all the boys joined in once again in their savage beating, but I saw the look of defiance in his eyes. He had a burning hatred for something greater, it wasn't directed towards the bully, no it was something deeper. Self-loathing?_

 _I chuckle silently to myself, as I slowly walk towards the group of kids. This kid was no coward, no in fact he was quite the opposite! My laughter grows increasingly louder, the more I think about it. The outburst of this blond kid replaying in my head like a record player, if anything he sure had a way of talking!_

 _Interesting! This boy was certainly interesting, to say the least!_

 _As I step ever closer, the beatings of the older kids lose their vigor as their attention turns towards me._

" _Oi, guys, who the fuck is that kid?"_

" _Why the hell is he laughing like that?"_

" _Hey! We're kind of busy, right now, so if you could kindly fuck off, that'd be great!"_

 _And with that, I go into a full blown manic laughter, "AHAHAHA!"_

 _All of the boys, the blondie included, all look on in confusion._

 _As I settle down, I shake my head and look at the bullies dead in the eye, with a cold and hardening gaze. I've always been told my eyes were rotten to the core, and that they were actually pretty intimidating. Source: My sister and classmates._

 _I see all the bullies take a step back briefly, I could tell they were scared, or maybe shocked. Either way, this was my chance. Using their hesitation to my advantage I keep moving towards them in confidence._

 _I give them a grin, my arms spread out in a sign of peace, "I couldn't help but notice you guys have a certain someone within your hold."_

" _Y-yeah, what of it?" After a few tense seconds, one of older kids speak up, taking a step towards me, in an act of intimidation, flanked by the rest of his goons._

" _Yeah, you got a problem or somethin'?"_

 _I shake my head, "no, no, not at all. In fact, I was wondering if I could join in."_

 _Now this got the attention of all members present, taking this moment of confusion to my advantage, I continue heading closer whilst still talking._

" _You see, I know this kid, and I actually have a score to settle with him. Seeing you guys have all the fun, makes me a bit sad. You wouldn't mind if I join in would you?" I ask, no, more like demand. I give all the older kids another grin._

 _By the time I finished talking I was already next to the blonde boy, the bullies too busy processing what I said to stop me, or just didn't care._

 _I forcefully pick up the boy on the floor from his collar, who gave me a look of pure, silent rage. His jaw was locked and his fists were clenched, I couldn't help but smile to myself._

 _This boy was no coward, he sort of reminded me of myself. No, better yet, he was someone who did something that even I couldn't. He stuck up for himself, regardless of the consequences. Compared to this boy,_ I _was the coward._

 _I lean into his ear before I whisper to him, "I know how you feel, and I face a similar problem. If you want, I can help you out, but in return your going to have to help me as well."_

 _My words roll off like a devil's advocate. I move away from him to look at his face, before his face hardens and he gives me a slight nod._

 _I start to chuckle again, "well boys!" I start off, releasing the blond from my grip before I turn to the older kids, "Looks like you just fucked with the wrong people!"_

 _And with that, I swing my bag filled with books and school supplies to the bully closest to me with all my might, and instantly go for another one with a sloppy punch. The blonde kid wasn't too far behind as he rushes the boy who was the first to retaliate with a body check, before switching to the fourth boy and tackling him to the ground, pounding away at his face._

 _Needless to say, all hell broke loose._

* * *

I drape my arm over my eyes as I recall the memory, a smile on my face. That was one of my fondest memories. Of course, both me and Yato ended up getting our asses kicked, it was two against four after all, and they were older than us. But even so, it felt so good letting all that pent up anger out. Before stumbling upon them, I was coming home from another horrific day at school. The bullies at school were getting more and more bold, and needless to say, my day was complete shit. Much like today, once I think about it.

After our scuffle, the bullies left shortly after. A few of them were not used to fighting, nor was I, but it seemed Yato had gotten into a few fights before, and the ferocity of the fight seemed to spook them. As we lay there on the ground of that park, faces bloodied, hands swelling, shit-eating grins on our faces, we shared a look before bursting out into laughter, only to go into a coughing fit and wince from the pain.

* * *

" _My name's Hayato by the way, Hayama, Hayato." He finally speaks after we recover from our fit of coughing._

" _Hikigaya, Hachiman." I lazily answer him back._

 _From the corner of my eye I see him nod, "the god of war and archery, huh? What kind of dumbass name's his kid after a Shinto god?"_

 _You better watch your mouth you little shit._

" _Ugh_ _, don't remind me, blondie. I get enough shit at school without you joining in."_

 _I see him bristle at that name, before he turns to me, a look of anger on his face, but in his eyes, I see traces of happiness and mirth._

" _Oi, you trying to start something, oh mighty god of war?"_

 _I growl at him, before getting up from the floor, as does he._

" _You know, for a god of war, you fight like a complete retard." He gives me a sardonic smile._

 _The nerve of this asshole!_

" _At least my hair isn't dyed like some sort of wannabe, normalfag." I retaliate a sardonic smile of my own._

" _It's not dyed!"_

 _And with that, for the second time that day, I got into a fight._

* * *

 _Beep! Beep! Beep!_

I groan as I grab my phone from the side of my bed and slide the alarm to dismiss it. Another day at this circus of a school, huh? What a pain in the ass.

As I look at my phone again, I see there's an unread message.

* * *

[From: Yato

Yo, Hikigaya, let's meet up after school, yeah? I'll try to tell my friends that I want to be alone, so don't worry about them. Oh and bring your sister too. It's been awhile since I've seen her. 6:38 AM]

[To: Yato

Yeah, yeah, sure. Why the hell are you up so early anyways? And you better not try to get with my sister like you always do! I will not hesitate to throw you through a window. 7:21 AM]

[From: Yato

Yeah, whatever, sis-con. But seriously, she have a boyfriend or what? 7:21 AM]

[To: Yato

What the hell did I just say? 7:22 AM]

[From: Yato

Alright, alright sheesh, I can't be curious about my friends? Who the hell pissed in your bowl of cereal this morning? 7:22 AM]

[To: Yato

Eat a dick. 7:22 AM]

* * *

 **A bit shorter than what I'm used to, but it can't be helped. If I continued past this point, this chapter would've probably had to of been bigger than both chapter 1 and 2. Hence an update quicker than I anticipated.**

 **At least I'm finally getting back on track with my original goal of Hayama, he isn't one of two main characters for nothing, so we'll be delving a bit more into him in the next few chapters, sorry if that's a disappointment.**

 **On a different note, the most requested of guest appearances were Shiromeguri, Meguri.**

 **I originally didn't plan on placing her in this story, cause honestly I have zero grasp of her character. I've never read the LN, so I was only exposed to her through the anime and she was... underrated to say the least. I don't feel comfortable making a whole new persona for her, as I'd like to make the characters somewhat recognizable, so if anyone could help me out with her(her canon persona) that'd be a tremendous help! I'll credit you of course.**

 **Sorry if the chapter was underwhelming, but it was one I couldn't avoid forever. I would love to hear your thoughts!**

 **Again, I want to give a tremendous thanks to all that have taken an interest in my story! You guys are awesome!**

 **Don't be afraid to leave a review, any feedback is much appreciated and I'll be sure to get back to you asap.**

 **Until next time,**

 **-Ausko.**


	4. Faces, Old and New

***coughs rather obnoxiously***

 **Whoa, oh hello there... funny thing, uhh. Wrong chapter was uploaded, sorry about that. Only about... 179 people saw it... so hey, silver lining *cries***

 **Anyways, if anyone is reading this and missed the whole spiel on chapter 7(it was just an Author's note.), you must be very, _very,_ confused.**

 **Basically:**

 **-Chapter 4, 5, 6 have been removed and compressed into one single revised chapter, Chapter 4: Faces, Old and New.**

 **-New scenes are bolded for those who just want to skip this chapter, but are curious to know what exactly changed. New readers, I apologize, they will be removed when Chapter 5 is published**

 **-Missed my special thank you note, also special thanks to guess, you had good points and I appreicate your honesty.**

 **-I am possibly going to start a new fic that will be more serious and either focus on drama or romance 'cause why not. Special thanks to Jminator for the suggestion, if you guys want someone to blame, blame him, haha.(kidding, dude.)**

 **I will post the Chapter 7 A/N as my bio for those who're still curious as to what I actually said.**

 **Deleting chapters really fucked me when it comes to reviews, so, sorry if I missed you.**

 ****New readers ignore everything I just said.****

 ****update 2/13****

 **Bolded text has now been removed.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU or anything related to it; the following passage is strictly satirical in nature, no propaganda was intended.**

* * *

Unlike other days, today I find myself walking to school rather than driving, all thanks to a certain older sister of mine.

"Oh, lighten up Hachiman! What's with that sour look on your face?" My sister chirps out happily beside me.

Are you a dumbass? Who in their right mind would rather walk to school as opposed to driving? Which if you didn't know was about ten minutes away walking distance. We could've arrived at school in under three minutes depending on traffic. What a complete waste of effort.

"What're you talking about? That's just my face." I answer her back lazily.

I knew there was something amidst when I found my sister awake and ready before me. Apparently she felt like we weren't spending enough time together and wanted to walk to school instead; I guess she was still upset about yesterday.

Even so, when I think about it, we _have_ been apart for some time. For my first year of high school, I got accepted into Kaihin, while she was already attending Sobu for two years. Why the different schools? Well, for one, I didn't want to go the same school as my sister, she was enough to deal with at home. But that's actually just an excuse, Sobu was a bit more strict when it came to accepting new students. Sure, I had the grades to get in, I even scored higher than my sister. However, with her socialite attitude and natural charisma, Aneki was a much better contender as a student than I was due to all her extra curricular activities she was a part of.

As for me, I always thought doing extra activities was a complete and utter waste of energy, I mean, if I could just get by the school year with minimal effort and still come out relatively high, why bother? What was that famous quote? 'To work is to lose'?

Anyways, even though we lived in the same house, Aneki was always busy with either her friends or schoolwork. She was student council president her first year, and was encouraged to run again her second year, but declined. While she was in her first year, I was in my last year of middle school studying my ass off in the prep school my parents decided to place me in. Needless to say, for that whole year we didn't speak much, both engrossed in our own personal lives. Sure we talked here and there, maybe spent some time together during family events; but even on the holidays both of us were forced into our parents' buisiness parties from time to time and needless to say, we didn't spend much of that time together either. The year after wasn't much different, stepping down as Student President, she went through great lengths to get her VP the presidential spot, Shiro-senpai. While I was busy adjusting to high school while also being taught how to drive by our parents, not mention meeting… new people... needless to say, Kaihin was ways away from our house, and a bit far from Sobu.

Noticing the small, but gradual rift that Aneki and I were creating between ourselves, I decided to make more of an effort to spend time with her. Even so, we were both so busy with our lives, that when we came home either one of us would go straight to sleep, or just had something else that demanded our attention, whether it be school work, friends, whatever. So instead, I decided to take her out on occasion when we were both free, mostly Sundays were 'our' days. Gradually we the rift between us had gotten smaller, and it wasn't as awkward between us. Soon enough, I started noticing the small changes in Aneki's behavior. She started to become more clingy, demanded more of my attention and in general just wanted to spend even more time together. She wasn't even this clingy when we were kids! However, at the same time a certain someone had also demanded my attention as well. Juggling between school, schoolwork, my sister and my friend, I found myself stuck between a rock and a hard place as I tried my best to make them complacent, but...

"Mou~ you could at least look happy, you have a beautiful onee-san clinging by your side." I hear my sister mutter under her breath.

I think you're forgetting that we're related, dear sister of mine.

"The only thing that this 'onee-san' is giving is a damn headache and causing misunderstandings." I answer her with an annoyed sigh.

She responds by her puffing out her cheeks and pouting. I roll my eyes at her, you're not a damn kid you know? Stop acting like a brat.

Throughout our walk we seem to have run into a few Sobu students, and they all gave us questioning glances and whispered among themselves. Spreading useless rumors no doubt. At a glance, my sister and I don't look all that much related. But that's mostly due to contrasting difference our parents have. We looked much more similar when we were younger, sharing the same hair color, even if her's was a tad lighter. Throughout the years her hair seemed to become lighter, and now the fringes of her hair were colored with a dark magenta color. A reminder of her rebellious years when she somehow managed to dye her whole head different shades of purples and reds, before being forced to cut it, lest Chichi-ue disown and kick her out of the house. Now with her newly cut her hair, only the tips were left colored, her old roots being grown out. Honestly, I think she looked better with the shorter hair, but I'd never admit that to her face. Her eyes were a sharp amethyst that glistened in any sort of lighting, while mine was a stone cold grey, not that you could really tell unless you looked very closely.

"So what? You were never one to care about what other's thought of you." My sister speaks out in a harsh tone after a brief silence, avoiding eye contact with me. Hey, hey, are you actually upset from that?

"True, you're not wrong." I affirm, "But what of you? Unlike me, you're quite popular, and probably the only reason people even spared a second glance was because it was you. I don't want to impede onto the image you've set for yourself." I finish in an annoyed tone.

By this time Aneki had already let go of my arm, and we walked separately at our own paces. When I finished talking, I couldn't help but notice that she had stopped walking. I spare a glance over my shoulder, only to see her look back at me with tears forming in the corner of her eyes.

…

WAIT WHAT!?

"So you _do_ care about me, Ototo!" Suddenly she bursts out, furiously wiping away at her eyes, before proceeding to run up to me and jumps onto my back.

"O-oi! What the hell do you think you're doing?!" I quickly adjust my stance and maneuver my bag off of my shoulder, before quickly supporting her frame with only one arm. You're putting me into a pretty compromising position right now! If people weren't already giving us looks, they certainly are now!

Readjusting, I somehow managed to maintain her weight on my back with just one arm holding her upper thighs, while I balanced both of our bags on my free arm's shoulder, supporting them with my hand. She was pretty light, and I couldn't help but notice-

OH NO YOU DON'T, WE ARE _NOT_ GOING THERE.

The hell are you talking about, me?

YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT YOU WERE THINKING.

N-not really, I don't know what you're talking about.

LIKE HELL YOU DON'T!

Shaken from my thoughts, I hear giggling from my sister, who now rested one of her arms on my head, while the other snaked around my neck, her body pushing into mine for support.

"Now this really reminds me of when we were kids." She says softly after her short laughter.

I was ready to yell at her, but somehow reminiscing about the past brought me into a bit of melancholic mood, I honestly did miss my sister's antics. Back when times were a lot more simpler, both Aneki and I did almost everything together. Sure I got annoyed of her a few times, we got into our fair share of fights, but we even our parents struggled to separate us, especially when Aneki first entered school, a year before I did. She even snuck into my room most nights 'cause 'my bed was warmer'. Though most of these things ended by the time we both entered middle school.

"Is that so? Well you better hang on then!" I quickly warn her, before I take off sprinting.

"Wha-? O-oi! Hachiman, slow down, I'm gonna fall off, jerk!" She yells at me, but I hear the laughter in her voice

I look up to her, to see her giving a bright a smile, in which I couldn't help but return, true, this did remind me of when were kids.

* * *

"Woah… power couple."

"Hey, who are those two? They're so cute together!"

"How come we never doing anything cute like that!?"

"Uhh… isn't that Haruno-chan?"

"WHAAAT?! WHEN THE HELL DID HARUNO-SAMA GET A BOYFRIEND?! I'LL KILL HIM!"

"Hey! That's Hikitani-kun, y'know? From the entrance ceremony!"

"H-how lame… He's already got a girlfriend?"

"Hey isn't that guy dating Hayama-kun?"

I gently ease Haru-nee off my back as we arrive at the school gates and grimace a bit once I hear all the chatter around us, the various noises and laughter I hear jog a few memories within me.

I see flashes of the past few years run through my mind, as various memories spring up.

* * *

" _Hachiman, look…!"_

…

" _Ne, ne, what about these?"_

…

" _Again? I guess that's fine…"_

…

" _I know how much you hate crowded places…"_

…

" _Really you mean it?!"_

…

" _Ahah, hilarious!"_

* * *

Im snapped out of my thoughts when I feel a pair hands touch my cheek, I'm faced with Haru-nee looking at me with a worried face, I guess I must've had a troubled look on my face.

"Hey," She gently says to me, "what's wrong?" I shake my head to rid my mind of the rather… complicated memories.

"Nothing, don't worry, I'm alright." I answer back quietly, and try to force a smile on my face. In which I'm recieved with an uneasy glance from my sister, before she slowly turns around and starts walking to school, in which she's instantly swarmed with a bunch of girls who swept her away in a flurry of chatter and gossiping.

She tries to answer each of them, and laughs awkwardly here and there. She gives me one last worried look, in which I return with a small wave and a smile towards her, which elicit another round of 'Kya's' from the group of girls. Before they fully disappear into the school building, with the intention of interrogating her no doubt. I shake my head and laugh a bit to myself, before I head on in too.

However, I still couldn't shake the feeling I had growing in the pit of my stomach, why were all these memories resurfacing?

* * *

As I'm putting away my shoes and slip on my in-door shoes, I feel a bag slightly hit me. I turn around to see Yuigahama giving me what seems to be an angry look, but it didn't work too well with her cute face and small frame, actually she looked really adorable.

"Yo." I lazily respond.

"Why'd you ditch us at the restaurant?" She asks, once we start walking to class together, falling in step with one another.

"I didn't 'ditch' you guys, something important came up, plus it was supposed to be me and Hayato anyways, I don't why you guys showed up." I gruffly respond.

This seemed to have startle her a bit, as she quickly raises both her arms in a swishing motion, flustered. "S-sorry! I didn't mean to come off as rude, I was just… curious is all."

I heave a sigh, it was literally impossible to stay mad at a face like that, why couldn't I have a cute sister like you? Then I remember her eating habits and that wish quickly dies as soon as it sprung.

"No, I'm sorry, you kind of caught me at a bad time. I had to quickly get home to take care of someone."

Her mouth forms an 'o' shape, in which she nods. Silence befalls us until we enter the classroom.

As soon as we walk in most of the chatter ceases. What? What the hell are you damn kids looking at?

I see Yuigahama tense up instantly as soon as all the eyes were focused on us, she glances nervously towards me, then back to the class, then back to me; a wild look in her eyes. She looks to me rather pleadingly as she slowly makes her way towards me, holding onto my sleeve slightly as she tries to slowly hide herself behind my frame.

Oi, oi, what's wrong with you Yuigahama?

I see the class start to whisper amongst themselves as they all start looking our way, some even having the indecency to even point. I look back to Yuigahama, who seemed to of lost focus in her eyes, as she stares at the floor, her head lowering ever-so slightly.

I gently nudge her with my shoulder, in which she quickly looks back up to me, "something the matter…?" I whisper to her.

"O-oh… n-nothing really…" She squeaks out, "It's just… I don't do well with so much attention put on me…" She finishes silently.

Oh, so was that it?

"Thank you so much for showing me to the classroom, Yuigahama-san." I say out loud, rather obnoxiously if I were being honest, "I'm sorry, to trouble you." I finish with a bow.

I see the students of our class suddenly lose interest in our sudden appearance together, as they turn back to their own conversations and conventions.

Not even sparing her another glance, I go to my seat and sit, placing down my bag and taking out my headphones, waiting for the class to start.

I see Yuigahama still stand there, a frozen look on her face before she slowly snaps out of her daze, quickly looks around and shoots me a small smile, a slight blush on her cheeks. She gives me a small wave, and with her smaller frame, cute smile and the rather adorable vibe I got from her, I couldn't help myself from waving back, as my face felt a bit hot.

* * *

The rest of the day was rather uneventful as always, and before I know it, it was about time for club hours. During break I told Yato where I'd be after school and that our little get-together had to be postponed while I was doing my club activities, whatever the hell those included. Aneki already knew of where I'd be from me explaining my whole day to her yesterday due to her 'episode'. I also mentioned that Yato wanted us to meet up after I was done while I was getting ready in the morning.

As I slide the door open to the Service club, I'm met the sight of Yukinoshita in all her cat eared / tailed glory, sitting at the table we set up, silently nibbling away at her pastries. How many did she have of those anyway?

At the sound of my arrival, her ears instantly perk up and she looks up curiously, dropping the pastry that she eating from her mouth in surprise.

"W-welcome!" She starts off in an overly formal tone, hey, you're not a convenience store you know? Realizing it was me, she quickly gets up, knocking her chair over and floods my personal space.

"Oh it's you Hikigaya-kun, I was starting to think that you weren't going to show." She quickly shoots off, darting around me like she's inspecting me from all sides. As soon as her faces inches towards mine again, I palm her face and gently push her away.

She reminded me of an excited cat running to greet it's owner.

"I'm a member of this club, remember? And even if I wasn't I'd still be showing for at least a week." I take a seat, opposite of hers before pulling out my phone, might as well kill some time while I'm here.

Recovering from my defenses, Yukinoshita quickly scampers to her original seat, picks up the chair and forces it next to mine once again, bringing her batch of pastries with her.

She starts to go at them again, before she turns to me and offers me one. At least she had decency to offer me one that hasn't been eaten yet. I take the offered pastry and pop it into my mouth.

Hey, these were pretty good!

"I… apologize for my sister the other day." Yukinoshita suddenly breaks the peaceful silence we created.

Thinking back onto that night was a blur, honestly I couldn't remember specifics but I do remember her sister being a raging bag of hormones, if her obsession with interpersonal affairs were anything to go by.

"It's nothing to apologize for, I've grown quite used to the crazy ass people this prefecture has to offer."

This elicits a small laugh from our resident cat-girl, a peaceful and light sound. It was actually rather pleasant, to say the least, and I couldn't help but let out a small chuckle as well.

"Since you asked me all sorts of questions the other day, it's only fair for me to do the same, correct?" After our little exchange, Yukinoshita again breaks the silence.

By this point, my phone was already put away, and both Yukinoshita and I found a rhythm of eating the pastries.

"Uh, yeah, sure?" I answer hesitantly.

She nods quickly, "What's your favorite position?"

*Pfffft!*

I suddenly spit out the small remnants of the pastry I was eating, choking on it in surprise.

"What?!"

"Position, you know, for intercourse." She says without missing a beat.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING, WOMAN?!

A blush instantly floods my cheek, as does hers. Wait, why the hell are you getting flustered about this too?! It's your damn question!

"O-oi, I don't think that's something you should be asking."

She tilts her head in questioning, "But I was told this is how friends converse with one another."

Wait a minute, this sounds oddly familiar, "Before we continue, Yukinoshita, is it possible that your sister told you this?"

She gives a quick nod, "She is the one who easily makes friends, so I always ask her for advice when it comes to social interactions."

Hey, hey, has it occurred that your sister may be messing with you?

"Not that I'm questioning her… credentials, but I don't think that's friends make small talk, or at least friends that aren't particularly close." I choose my words carefully, hoping she'd get the idea. Any misinformation could cause a massive misunderstanding with this girl!

She looks in deep thought, before nodding furiously, "Is that so? So only friends who're close can speak of topics such as these."

I breath a sigh of relief, looks like that's cleared up, "yes, that's exactly it."

She nods once again, "So, Hikigaya-kun, do you prefer missionary? Or maybe you find oral much more-"

"STOP RIGHT THERE!"

I instantly yell at her before she gets in trouble due to the rating of this story.

…

Wait, what? Anyways, besides the point!

Yukinoshita glances at me again, a questioning look donning her face, "What seems to be the problem Hikigaya-kun?"

"What the hell did I just tell you?" I breath out calmly.

"That only friends who find themselves particularly close with another should engage in conversational topics such as sex." She whips off without a missing a beat.

"Right," I agree, "then why the hell are you still asking questions like that?!"

She tilts her head to the side once again, "we are close friends are we not?"

"Hell no!"

As soon as those words left my mouth, I instantly regretted saying them.

Yukinoshita looks at me in disbelief before it slowly morphs into silent sadness, "...I see."

She quickly picks up her chair and sets it down on the opposite side of the table, putting it in its original spot. Her cat ears droop down as she lowers her face. She silently brings the batch of pastries with her, before she starts slowly nibbling on them in sadness once again.

Hey, you know it's bad to eat your problems away, right? W-wait, is she crying?! No, no I definitely hear her sniffling!

A few tense seconds of silent pass between us.

Silence.

I groan out in frustration and rub my head furiously, why me?! Why are all girls so goddamn difficult?! Who the hell even thinks up these kind of girls and/or dumbass situations?! Do you enjoy seeing me go through pain?!

O-oi, I think you breaking the fourth wall, me.

FUCK YOUR WALL!

Yeah, fuck your wall Trump!

What?

What?

Propaganda, say what?

? ? ? ?

After recovering from my mental episode, I heave another heavy sigh. I quickly pick up my chair and begrudgingly force it next to Yukinoshita's, who looks up at me in surprise; a few tears streaking down her face.

"I'm sorry," I start off through gritted teeth, "I didn't mean what I said earlier; I p-prefer missionary." I finish with my jaw clenched.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

YOU SAID IT, YOU ACTUALLY SAID IT, WHAT THE FUCK ARE DOING?!

I don't know! I don't deal well with crying girls! They're my weakness!

WHEN DID I BECOME SUCH A PUSSY?!

While I was having my internal belittlement, practically ripping out my hair and banging my head on the table repeatedly, I failed to realize Yukinoshita start giggling again. That sweet, soft laughter brings me out of my musings and I can't help give her a smile.

"Hentai." She quietly says after she finishes laughing, covering her mouth in the process.

I quickly wipe the smile off my face and give her an annoyed glare, "You're the damn woman who asked."

She wipes her tears away, "yes, but I didn't actually expect you to answer it. You truly are a deplorable man, rotten to the core no doubt." She laughs once again.

I give her another grunt of contempt, but her laughter sets my mind at ease.

"So… what exactly are we supposed to be doing again?" I ask after a few minutes of peaceful silence.

She gives me a sigh, after she cleaned herself up a bit, "I find it hard for someone with your capacity to forget something so easily." She shakes her head, "but we are to wait for any clients to come to us."

"So we literally just wait…?" I ask a bit confused. What the hell kind of club just sits and does nothing?

She gives me a blank look, an air of annoyance resonating of her, "Hikigaya-kun, I do not believe I have to repeat myself, surely you are capable of basic comprehension.

Oi, oi, where the hell did this icy attitude come from? If you keep this up, you really won't have any damn friends woman!

"R-right… my bad."

Her face slowly morphs back into a smile, a small laugh escaping her lips, "no need to have that look Hikigaya-kun, I was merely doing…" She trails off a bit, a look of confusion donning her face as her head tilts to the side, "I believe my imouto called it 'teasing'?"

*pfft!*

C-cute! No seriously, keep that up and I really will fall for you, woman, stop that!

I, once again, choke on a piece of the pastry I was eating as I look at her. These goddamn things are a choking hazard!

I see Yukinoshita get up quickly, prancing to my side as she floats around me, looking at me from different angles, "O-oh, are you alright Hikigaya-kun? D-do you need water? Uh… water… water…" Her tail was wildly swinging back and forth in nervousness.

H-hey, you damn cat! Be a bit more useful will you?!

I cough a bit more, pounding my chest as I dislodge the damn thing from my throat. I calm down and, once again, force her face away from me with my hand.

"Don't you have anything to drink?!" I yell out indignatnly once I get my breath back.

She gives me a pout from me forcing her away, but walks over to small desk propped up next to window adjacent to the storage closet, before she begins trying to clumsily pour some tea into a cup. Once she finishes she quickly prances back to me and shoves the cup in my face, a proud look coming from her face.

"T-thanks…" I awkwardly say, I didn't actually think she'd have anything to drink. Did she fucking live in this clubroom or something?

She gives me a small smile before she bows her head in front of me.

"Uhh…?"

She lowers her head even more, forcing it closer to me as I see her ears twitch slightly. I suddenly was hit with the sudden urge to pet her head, was it the ears?!

I pat her head gently, touching the ears as they bent from my touch. These thing were actually really soft!

I hear Yukinoshita purr out in content, as she scampers back to her seat and forces her chair next to mine (again), invading my personal space (again).

"I think it's about that time." Yukinoshita quietly speaks after a few minutes of silence, a hint of disappointment in her voice.

I check my phone, and it really was getting late, I guess it was time for us to pack up. I look over to Yukinoshita, who gives me a small smile; I nod in response.

"You know…" Yukinoshita instantly perks up once I start talking, "some friends and I are planning to go out, if you're free," I start blushing and avoid her gaze, "you're welcome to join."

Yukinoshita's face was one of shock, before she gives me a beautiful smile. Her frame was highlighted from the setting sun seen through the window, her eyes glistening in the sunlight. She looked absolutely stunning in this freeze frame, and I couldn't help but keep the blush on my face.

Suddenly her face morphs into one of playfulness and mirth, o-oi! Don't go switching faces on me like that! You actually made me almost fall for you right there, vixen!

"My, my, Hikigaya-kun, how bold!" She laughs, "first giving me details about your interpersonal fetishes, and inviting me out to a date? You truly are a deplorable man, I can't help but fear for my chastity."

Hey, hey, that kind of hurts you know? Just proves what happens when you try to be nice to someone!

"Look a simple 'no' would suffice, alright? Sorry for asking." I breath out annoyed, turning my back to her and making my way out of the club.

I hear quick footsteps behind me and feel Yukinoshita grab my hand, forcing me to turn around. She avoids eye contact, quickly glancing every now and then shyly, a blush on her face.

Stick to one look, woman! You really are trying to toy with my feelings aren't you?!

"No, no, I would love to, Hikigaya-kun." She takes off her cat ears and tail, and puts them back into her bag.

"Thank you for inviting me out." She shakes her head to get her hair back into place and straightens out her uniform.

For the first time, I was graced with looking at the girl that is Yukinoshita, Yukino. No weird cat antics, no cat props, nothing. The wind blows through the window and my sense of smell is instantly assaulted with her fragrance, she gives me a small smile and looks at me expectantly.

"R-right. No problem." I distractedly respond.

* * *

As both Yukinoshita and I walk out towards the main gates of Sobu, I quickly text my sister and Yato that I'd finished with my club activities and decided to bring of friend of sorts with me. Originally Aneki was supposed to pick me up and we'd drive there, but I decided instead to meet them at our rendez-vous point, not wanting Yukinoshita to arrive onto the scene by herself. Slowly but surely we made our way there on foot.

As we continued walking, I couldn't help but notice Yukinoshita's rather bubbly nature as she walked uncomfortably close beside me, practically breathing down my neck.

"Oi, there's this cool thing called personal space, mind giving me some?" I grunt out.

She gasps, a hand over her mouth in mock astonishment, "My, Hikigaya-kun if I didn't know any better I'd-"

I instantly cut her off with a palm to her face, as I forcefully leave her at an arm's length away. She abruptly stops mid-sentence and begins to yell into my hand as her arms are wildly going for my face, but her shorter arms couldn't even reach me. As I feel her stop struggling, I remove my hand from her face and I'm left with a pout as her head lowers. I could already imagine her cat ears drooping down, even if they weren't there.

I find it weird how accustomed I've grown to this crazy cat girl, and even embraced most of her tendencies as part of her personality, though from recent events I feel like I'm getting through her rather messed up shell and seeing the actual girl that is Yukinoshita. If anything, her cat tendencies are more like a coping mechanism than anything else.

"Say, Yukinoshita," I call out after a brief silence between us, in which her head snaps to attention, "you ever think that your sister is actually messing with you when she gives you advice about 'social interactions'?"

Yukinoshita continues walking and ponders a bit, "No, not really." She states casually.

How clueless can you get?!

"Really? You think that going around dressing scantily clad cat costumes and talking about sex is a sure way to make friends?"

She gives me a playful look, "It worked on you didn't it?"

"That's not-!" I was about to object to her statement, but the words seem to of died on its way out. Though not entirely true, I couldn't really refute her statement.

"I think you're actually lucky it was me, any other person would've either run for the hills or simply taken advantage of you." I counter.

A thoughtful look graces her face, "True, that is certainly possible, but…"

She trails off, "But…?" I give a questioning look.

She strike her typical cat pose, "I had a good feeling about you!" She finishes with a wink and a playful swipe of her hand.

I instantly faceplant into the ground, what the hell?! What kind of stupid ass reasoning was that?!

"I don't quite follow...?"

She skips on ahead of me, holding her hands behind her back, "Back in middle school there was a legend of two boys, no matter where they went, trouble always seemed to find them. Tales of outnumbered brawls where these two always emerged victorious, a vicious boy whose gaze could chill you to the bone, and an attractive looking boy whose silver tongue could charm any girl into his arms; who, although renown, found themselves relatively alone." She stopped her skipping with a solid stomp, and turned to look me in the eye, "Imagine my surprise when the infamous 'white flash' and 'death's gaze' arrived at Sobu."

I instantly cringe at the old middle school name that was given to us, honestly what kind of dumbass even thought up those names? No, no seriously! They were just so bad! Damn, chuunis. Of course, due to their age, their imagination probably went wild, and no doubt these 'tales' were just exaggerated stories of the few scuffles Yato and I found ourselves in.

"And? What of it?" I ask after a few seconds.

She walks back to me, her face curiously looking into my eyes, "Hayama-kun and I were neighbors as kids, we even went to the same grade school. He was probably the only person I could call a 'friend', though that's stretching it a bit."

She continues her advance, as does her speech, "Our parents, namely both of our fathers, knew one another since high school. We often found ourselves at each other's houses for one reason or another."

She straightens herself out, "Honestly, he was such an unpleasant person to be around, I couldn't stand him, but Komachi was obsessed him." She scoffs, "I knew how bad he was when it came to other kids, so I was really surprised when he found himself a special friend. If he could make one, so could I! Or so I thought." She falters.

"Of course I didn't know who you were right away, but once I learned, I just had a good feeling." She begins again, going back to the original topic at hand. "If you could befriend someone like Hayama-kun, you surely could befriend me!"

Huh, that was certainly news to me. Yato never mentioned anyone like her throughout the years, though I guess he was a rather eccentric kid back then.

"Really? You gambled it all based on that little intuition of yours?" I ask doubtfully.

She just nods in response and laughs, "It worked didn't it?"

She begins to walk towards me again and looks up curiously at my face, inches away from me, staring into my eyes, "...so the rumors were true after all."

I take a brief step back, "p-pardon?"

She moves her head from side to side, holding my gaze from different angles, "There was a rumor of the color of your eyes, it was rather often debated topic."

I scowl briefly, of course it had something to do with my eyes, they're the damn things that caused me all the trouble as a kid. Every asshole and their mother thought I was wishing death upon them, their family, and future generations just from looking at my eyes. I was either ridiculed for being a creep, or got into fights 'cause 'I looked at someone the wrong way'.

"Yeah, yeah, my eyes are like a dead fish, I look like a creep, people should fear for their chastity when I'm around, yatta, yatta; don't worry, I've heard them all." I angrily call out, now actively trying to avoid Yukinoshita's eyes. To be honest she was one of the first of people to _not_ talk about my eyes, and didn't actively keep their distance from me; excluding Yato and Yuigahama, not to mention my sister. I was a bit disheartened, but it had to come up eventually.

Yukinoshita once again grabs my hand as I try to walk past her. Forcing my attention back to her, I avoid her gaze once again, with my head lowered.

She gives me a stern look, "Hikigaya-kun I did not say any of those things, please refrain from putting words into my mouth."

I rip my hand away from her's, "yeah, whatever. You were probably thinking along those lines though." I breath out annoyed and continue walking past her.

I hear quick footsteps behind before she blocks my path with her own body, a palm resting on my chest, "That's not true. I think you have a lovely set of eyes."

I recoil from her instantly, what the hell?! First of all don't go around feminizing me, alright? And second, that's absolute horse shit! Even _I_ don't like my eyes! If anything that just proves how bad they really are!

"What the hell are you talking about?" I glare at her, "look, everyone has that one thing they don't like about themselves; something that everyone wishes they could change. For me, it's my eyes, no need to give false words of appeasement."

She stomps her foot angrily on the floor, pushing me back with her palm on my chest when I try to move forward, "I'm not lying! They really are captivating." She says in an desperate tone.

"Well, once you take a good look at them." She quickly adds on.

Way to completely destroy any hope I had left there, Yukinoshita.

"You shouldn't be ashamed of who you are, especially if it's something as superficial as your looks."

I scoff at her, the nerve of this girl. "That's awfully rich coming from you."

She returns my glare with one of her own, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You said it yourself, all your family members doted on you ever since your childhood, even your own sister is envious of your looks, what the hell would you know about superficiality?"

"Because my whole childhood was based on it!" She suddenly screams out. I stared at her wide eyed, I've never heard her voice go anything above excited chatter.

"You think I had it easy, just because I was attractive?" She suddenly steps up to me, challenging me. I firmly hold my ground, and return her firey eyes with a cold gaze of my own.

"Ever since I was a child, I couldn't tell if people were being nice to me because they genuinely liked me, or if they had an ulterior motive! At least with detest, anger, and disgust you know what they think!"

"Oh, boo-fucking-hoo." I sardonically seethe, stepping back up to her, "you practically had people grovelling at your feet; while _I_ had people avoiding me like the plague." At this point, I could feel the anger start to slowly seep in.

"Groveling?!" She yells, once again, "more like deceiving! I spent most of my years surrounded by people who probably detested me, yet I was played as the fool! All the talk behind my back, the nasty looks, the… the feeling of loneliness when you realize you have no friends?! There is no worse feeling than betrayal!" She stomps her foot angrily once again.

"Oh yeah?" I challenge her, regaining my footing, "do you know how it's like to come to school everyday knowing you're going to get royally fucked? To see the pitiful stares you receive?! To know that no matter what you _fucking_ do you're just going to have accept the fact that no one is willing to help!" I suddenly yell back, snapping. "What the hell would you know?!"

She falters a bit, but regains her footing, "True," she angrily breathes out, "I wouldn't know of the horrors you faced as a child, but don't you dare tell me I had it easy." She glances away, her voice shaky.

I also break away my gaze from her, a few tense seconds pass between us.

I suddenly see her wrap her arms around herself, in a desperate comforting manner. She avoids eye contact as she speaks, "You are probably the only person I've ever felt comfortable with, someone who was able to look past my looks." She starts off softly, before turning to me.

"Someone I'm willing to call a friend." She tries to finish, her voice still shaky, "please don't berate yourself, I wouldn't want you to change."

I slowly turn to face her, wide eyed. Now I wasn't one for sentimental bullshit, hell the only people who I felt particularly close to were Aneki and Yato, but even then I've drifted from those two these past years. Maybe it was me who was searching for a friend, and not her after all.

She takes another step closer to me, her hair a bit messy from the frantic movements and the rather high winds we were blessed with. She gently leans herself into my chest, as I look on with a look of bewilderment, speechless.

"I really wasn't lying when I said your eyes were captivating." She slowly speaks out once again.

She looks intently at my eyes. I'm instantly enraptured by her's, a deep, unadulterated, and pure blue. Her eyes were beautiful, as was her face and hair. All in all, Yukinoshita was a pretty damn beautiful girl, once I took a closer look at her. She was definitely blessed with good looks, without a doubt. My eyes were nothing compared to her's, they were disgusting, rotten, creepy-

"What a lovely color." I hear her breathe out, I see her eyes dilate as her face goes into a somewhat dazed state, like she was lost in her own train of thought. I too, was lost in her eyes for the moment we held each other's gaze so closely. I couldn't help but feel my face slightly inch closer to her's, as her's does the same to mine. It came to the point where I could feel her breath slightly.

I could hear a raging command in the back of my head to back away as fast I can before I do something I regret; however it was nigh but a whisper compared to the compelling tempest that was Yukinoshita's eyes.

I could practically taste her with how close we were getting, even if I _did_ want to stop, I don't think I would be able to, it suddenly came to the point of no return.

Suddenly I feel someone slap my back, and my body is pushed forward without warning. I regretfully headbutt Yukinoshita in the process due to our proximity, in which I hear her squeak out in pain and hold her head, while turning around, me following suite.

"Yo, Hikigaya. Fancy meeting you here."

I rub my sore forehead furiously before turning around to the owner of the voice, of course it was none other than the blonde asshole coming to ruin anything good that was possibly going to happen to me. Real cockblock there, Yato.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" I yell at him furiously.

He just gives me a blank look, "Uh… greeting a friend? What the hell's gotten you so riled up?"

I turn around to look back at Yukinoshita who was avoiding eye contact, but kept taking quick glances towards my eyes, a blush on her cheeks as she gently fiddled with the hem of her skirt in shyness.

I give a heavy sigh, seriously? Why me?

* * *

"So _this_ is the clubmate you were talking about?" Yato gives a questioning look as I (re)acquainted him with his old childhood friend, or apparent childhood friend. "Long time no see!"

"H-hello, Hayama-kun." Yukinoshita shyly squeaks out.

Oi, oi, why the hell are you getting all shy? You're able to dress up as a damn neko-hooker and even have a full-blown argument with me, but can't hold a conversation with a normal human being?!

I see her fidget in place, while she occasionally rubbed the side of her head with her hand, slightly hiding behind my frame. Then it dawns on me, she probably wasn't used to meeting new people, well I guess in this case unfamiliar, and was going back into her reclusive cat habits.

I flick her forehead in which she lets out a pitiful squeak, "stop acting so nervous, you know me right? You won't be able to make friends if you don't make an effort to talk to them." I whisper to her.

She suddenly snaps out of her reverie, and looks to me in determination, nodding her head in approval.

Good, maybe now we can actually get past this whole awkward atmosphere.

"So Hayama-kun," I hear Yukinoshita call out. There you go, nekomata! Make idle talk to increase the strength of your friendly bonds!

I hear Yato give a questioning humm, "What's your favorite posi-?"

OH HELL NO!

I instantly slap my hand over her mouth in which she lets out a muffled squeak into my hand, she gives me a look of hurt with tears forming in her eyes. Oops, maybe I was a bit rough with that slap. Listen kids! Domestic abuse is never okay!

I pull her into my chest and talk in a barely audible whisper into her ear, hoping Yato wouldn't even get a single sliver of the things I was about to say.

"Remember what I said?! Only close friends are able to talk about things like that! You just got reacquainted with him, and even before you guys weren't friends. What the hell makes you think you and him close?"

I feel Yukinoshita subtly nod, I breath a sigh of relief, glad to avert that crisis.

As I let go of Yukinoshita she quickly rubs her mouth to relieve the pain, before giving me a sly look, "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were acting out of jealousy, Hikigaya-kun." And with that she, once again, invades my personal space like a curious cat.

I once again flick her forehead, "down, girl."

"Uguu~" She softly whines.

Suddenly I hear an awkward cough, and I look over to Yato giving me a devilish grin, h-hey! Wipe that stupid ass smile off your face!

"My, my, Hikigaya-kun, if you two just wanted some alone time, just say so!" He gives me a mocking laugh.

Shut the hell up asshole! I don't want to hear it after the stunt you just pulled!

"I-it's not what it looks like!" I shout at him.

He raises his arm in appeasement, "hey, no need to tell me, it's her who you have to worry about."

Her?

I look to see Yato pointing behind me, and a feeling of dread washes over me. I slowly turn around to see my sister standing a few paces away, waiting at the main gate to the shopping centre we were supposed to meet at, and damn did she look _pissed_. I guess we arrived quicker than I expected.

I see Aneki stand there shaking in place, her face flushed and in a pout before she yells out, "Ha-chi-man-!"

I quickly raise my arms in front of me, waving them back and forth in attempt to appease my sister, "I-its not what it looks like, Aneki!"

Before she could come flying at me like a bitch-missile, she is quickly held back by the collar of her chemise by another girl, in which Aneki quickly gets choked and falls to the floor.

"Hey, come now Haruno, you're going to cause a scene." A girl a bit shorter than Aneki speaks out from behind her in a casual tone, drinking coffee with her eyes closed. I get a clear view as soon as my sister's frame falls to the floor.

Said girl was cute, to say the least. Her hair was neatly tied at the ends with two braids and her bangs were clipped to the side to stop them from obscuring her face. Her eyes were a rather lively hazel that seemed to sparkle even without sunlight. Her hair was, since I've always remembered, a dark olive. I wasn't sure if it was dyed when I first met her, but I'm even more clueless now. It sure looked natural.

"Shiro-senpai!" I quickly shout out, before running up to her and embracing her into a hug.

Shiro-senpai is one of Aneki's oldest and long-time friend. I often saw her at over our house when we were younger, a very intelligent, well-mannered, and overall sweet girl, though a bit of an airhead at times. If we're just keeping it between us two, I actually had a bit of a crush on her when we were still kids.

Who the hell is 'us two'?

Well me and you of course.

You mean, you and yourself.

No I mean, me and myself.

THAT'S LITERALLY THE SAME THING.

Nah. Don't think so.

…

She quietly glances in my direction before she happily laughs to herself and gives me a small wave. As soon as I reach her, she returns the hug. Well more like she just snuggled into me as both her hands held her coffee.

She looks up at me and gives me a cute smile, in which I can't help but blush at, "I thought we talked about this, Hachiman-"

As soon as my name left her mouth, I swear I could feel two intense gazes being glared into my back

"-You're supposed to call me onee-chan."

"Hey, I'm his sister! Get the hell away from my brother you creep!" Suddenly Aneki calls from the floor.

"Oh, be quiet you." She casually waves off my sister before turning to me, " not to your liking? You can always call me Megurin, if you like."

I laugh nervously, "I think I'll just stick to Shiro-senpai if that's okay with you."

"We~ell, it's not okay with me, so you better choose one or the other." She laughs out and gives me a quiet smile, still clinging to me even though our hug ended a while ago. Something about the way she said that statement made a chill run down my spine.

"Uh… okay? Then, Shiro-nee?" I awkwardly ask.

She gives me a pout, "I guess that's fine…"

"How come you never call me Haru-nee anymore, Hachiman? I don't even get an onee-chan!" My sister whines from the floor, pounding her fists on the floor like a child, tears streaming down her face.

Finally letting go of me, I'm able to get a bit of breathing room once again, as I awkwardly step away from her, over my sister, rejoining Yukinoshita's side, in which I'm recieved with a pout.

What now, you damn cat? I have other acquaintances besides you, you know?

"Shiro-senp-" She gives me a look, "I-I mean Shiro-nee, this is Yukinoshita, my clubmate."

"Yukinoshita, meet Shiro-..nee, an old friend of my sister's as well as a long time family friend."

I introduce both girls, in which they exchanged their own pleasantries, but it seemed rather forced. That was… odd, to say the least.

I look back to Yato who just gives me one of his trade-mark 'I'm laughing at your expense, but your too dumb to notice what's really going on' smiles.

"Well this should certainly be interesting." Yato calls out before taking the lead and walking into the shopping centre.

* * *

Of course, as soon as we enter, the girls shoot off to do their own shopping, dragging poor Yukinoshita along with them against her will. She gives me a pleading look to help her out, but I just give her a thumbs up. This is you chance to make friends! Go out and show the world what you're made of nekomata!

That left me with Yato, he gives me a shrug and a carefree smile, "so what'd you have in mind?"

"I dunno, wasn't this your idea?" He instantly face plants into the floor.

"O-oi, you know I'm not good at planning things. I thought you'd have a plan!" He yells at me indignantly .

I wave him off, before continuing further into the shopping district, "Why don't we catch up? It's been what? Two years? My treat." I offer.

He looks at me skeptically, "When the hell did you become so nice? You aren't planning on drugging me or anything, are you?"

I scoff, look who's talking, 'Prince'. "Me? What about you? You got a whole merry band of misfits you call 'friends', not to mention the small cult following you got going on in school, what the hell do they call you? 'Prince of Sobu'?" I counter.

He gives me a nervous laugh, "Y-you know about that?"

"All the way from Kaihin, though I didn't actually know who it was. Imagine my surprise." I give him a grin.

He sighs in defeat, "Its… a long story."

"Like I said, my treat." I smile triumphantly.

He playfully punches my shoulder, "Yeah, whatever. Hope you haven't gotten rusty on me, oh mighty God." He instigates, "You still dislocate your shoulder from punching incorrectly?"

"Sorry, wouldn't know." I shrug, "I can't really concentrate with all the chemicals coming from your hair, how many bottles of hair dye do you go through week, exactly?" I give him a smirk.

"Fuck you, dude." He laughs, in which I join.

* * *

We found ourselves in a quaint little cafe, I wasn't particularly hungry, I just wanted somewhere to sit while we talked. The cafe was quite small, but made the best of its space. The aroma of coffee and baked pastries wafted through the air.

We sat ourselves at a booth towards the back, a window seat no less. I could see the countless patrons going through their business within the shopping centre.

"May I put it in?" Our waitress silently breathes out, before blushing and squeaks in embarrassment, swinging her menus in her hand wildly, "I-I-I mean your drinks! Right! May I put it in your drinks…?" She tries to recover.

She internally screams again, "Noo~! I don't mean like, drug your drinks or anything, you know? I meant like can I put your, like, drinks in!" She rapidly tries to recover a shred of dignity.

What the hell was it with this damn part of town? Is it just filled with horny women?

I give Yato a blank look, asking him to deal with it, lest I hurt this girl's feelings.

He gives the girl a charming smile, I gag, and gives her a heartfelt laugh, easing her worries.

"Haha, no, it's fine." He interrupts her inner monologue, "Can we just get two coffees? One black, one with cream and lots of sugar?"

The waitress blushes, but it wasn't directed to Yato, no in fact this girl was most definitely stealing quick glances at me. I give her a questioning look, in which she hurriedly looks away, "O-of course! Two coffees, one black, one with cream and lots of sugar, got it!" She hurriedly writes down.

"I'll be coming shortly..." She once again silently says, before realizing she must've said that out loud. "Noo~! I mean, I'll be coming with your drinks shortly, like yknow, like coming with my hand! I mean in! Coming with it in my hand!" Her face was instantly flushed, even other patrons giving her curious glances. An old couple gasping, while a young mother glares at her as she covers the ears of her kid.

I hold up my hand, to stop the damn spazz from talking. "It's fine, we get it." I speak harshly to her, she was honestly starting to annoy me.

"Yes sir!" She quickly shoots off before disappearing from our sight, what the hell kind of idiot hires a girl like that?

"Well that was… certainly something." Yato comments.

"This whole prefecture is a god damn loony bin, I swear."

He gives a small laugh, "If you haven't noticed, you've kind've been living in this prefecture your whole life."

"Yeah but at least the kids at Kaihin aren't this weird, that part of Chiba is a bit more… sane."

"If you say so."

I roll my eyes at him, "So, 'Prince', care to explain your road to glory? 'Cause last time I checked, you were kind of the bottom of the social ladder."

I see Yato's face get serious, "True, though after you switched schools a lot of the rumors surrounding us kind of died down."

I give him a curious glance, well that was awfully convenient, "You think it had to do with everyone focusing on their entrance exams?"

He gives a thoughtful look, "Yeah, probably, you know how everyone stresses about them, people were more worried about them than anything else, let alone other people."

Well that certainly made sense, hell, I even moved schools because of them. If there were any time for either of us to go incognito, the last year of middle school would've been the best time.

I nod, "Okay, so what? Your reputation just reset once you hit high school?"

He shrugs, "more like people kind of avoided me. At least the people who attended the same middle school as us, not everyone knew who I was." He pauses, a thoughtful look on his face, "I don't know, a lot of the anger I had as a kid mostly mellowed out by that time, and I was liked by most of my classmates."

I snort, "Yeah, no kidding, you were an asshole back then. It's no wonder why people avoided us."

He rolls his eyes, "like you're one to talk, at least I pretended to be nice most of the time, you were just a sourpuss to everyone, even me. Something about 'youth being a lie'?"

"Oi," I interject, "that's because all those kids were asshats, literally every single one of them. Our middle school was goddamn pit of vipers."

"You got that right." He agrees. "Eventually I made a few friends, well everyone kind of was my friend I guess, but only a certain handful of people I tolerated enough to hang around me."

"No bi-weekly rotation of girls, I assume?" I ask behind a mocking smile.

He scratches his cheek in embarrassment, "haha, well… no, not really."

I raise an eyebrow at him, what the hell was that supposed to mean?

"Care to elaborate?"

Before he could answer me our spazz of a waitress comes back to our table with our drinks, "One black, one with extra cream and sugar." She places both our drinks down, and I grab the black coffee, as I watch in disgust at Yato drinking his diluted coffee.

We turn our attentions back to our waitress and thank her, but she still stood by our booth, "Can I help you...?" I awkwardly ask after a few seconds.

"O-oh! I'm sorry, it's just you look… kind'a cute." Her voice falters by the end of her sentence as she gives a nervous laugh, "Eh?! No, no I'm sorry! I mean you look like a fruit! You know, like a-a… squash? Yeah a squash!" She, once again, whips off in under a second.

"What? That's not even a fruit." I tone out silently, not understanding what the hell she was talking about.

"Is that so?" Yato gives a curious look, a devilish grin on his face.

He gives her a dashing smile, I gag, "Well, my name's Hayama, Hayato, and you are?"

She's broken from her inner thoughts as soon as Yato speaks to her, "Nice to meet you," she bows, "I'm Isshiki, Iroha."

I look incredulously at Yato, hey, hey, now's not the time to go around picking up girls!

"Iroha-chan is it? That's a cute name." Yato smoothly says, not missing a beat.

"Uh, thanks… I guess?" She blankly looks at Yato.

I cover my mouth to stop myself from laughing, oh nice one, Yato, you _really_ got her under your charms there, 'prince'.

He shoots me an annoyed look, before putting on that shit-eating smile of his, "Say are you free anytime soon? My friend just got back into town and I'd love to show him around, maybe we can all hang out and get to know each other, you can bring a friend if you'd like. My treat!"

I roll my eyes at him, sipping quietly on my coffee, ahh, can't go wrong with black coffee. The strong taste sets my mind at ease, as the sweet aroma fills my sense of smell.

"Sorry-I'm-not-interested,-you're-going-to-have-to-try-harder-than-that-to-get-me-to-go-on-a-date, maybe-if-your-friend-asked-me-instead-I'd-say-yes,-but-until-then,-no,-sorry." The spazz quickly shoots off, finishing with a bow before returning to her duties.

I instantly spit my coffee out of my mouth, covering my mouth in order not to laugh out loud and cause a scene, instead resorting to banging on the table oboxiously. Yato just got his ass rejected!

I see his smile frozen on his face, until his eye twitches a bit in annoyance.

Recovering from my episode, I wipe the tears forming in my eyes, "Hey, you win some you lose some, right?" I burst into laughter once again.

Suddenly his face hits the table, o-oi, you alright? You didn't just die on me did you?

He shoots up instantly, reaching across the table grabbing my collar, tears streaming down his face, "I don't get it! Ever since I entered high school, every girl just rejects me when I ask them out! Then there's you who just have girls practically throwing themselves at you, what the hell did you do, huh? Some kind of witchcraft?!" He accuses me.

I raise my arms in mock surrender, "whoa take it easy man, I'm sure there are girls willing to go out with you… maybe." I snort to stop from laughing, once he shoots me a glare.

"I even cleaned up my act! And still, nothing! All girls do is fantasize about me, or idolize me, but when I go to ask them out they get cold feet, like what the hell?!" He laments, before his form slowly crumbles on the table.

"So that's what you meant when you said, 'not really'."

He sadly nods his head from the table.

"So?" He starts off from the table, slowly picking himself up, "What about you? You get a girlfriend yet?"

A thousand images flash through my mind in an instant, "j-just one, kind of… I guess we never did really make it official though."

This quickly catches the attention of Yato, "No way, seriously? Someone could actually tolerate you enough to go out with you?"

"Hey, fuck you, I am a wonderful person to be around." I object.

He waves me off, "Yeah, yeah, whatever. So who is it? Is it your clubmate?"

My face falters a bit, "a-actually we kind of stopped talking awhile long ago…"

Suddenly Yato stops his antics, a serious face donning his visage, "Oh, sorry. I didn't know."

I quickly wave him off, "Nah, don't worry about it. I'm over it."

He gives me a skeptical look, "If you say so."

Before anymore could be said, I hear my phone go off on the table. I quickly grab it and slide the lock, it was from Aneki; probably wanting to meet up with us or something.

I slide my phone down to check the message.

I instantly spit out my coffee once again, what the hell?!

The mess Aneki sent me wasn't a message at all, it was picture instead.

Said picture was Aneki, Shiro-senpai, and Yukinoshita in various states of undress, all in mid-action in a changing room. O-oi! You ruined the damn picture Aneki! I don't want to see my sister her underwear, gross! Wait… are you wearing pink? When the hell did you start to wear pink? I slowly found my eyes wandering across-

I instantly slam my face into the table, the fuck do you think you're doing, me?!

Again, we are NOT going there.

I quickly shake my head of the thoughts, but I couldn't help but give a few more glances on the frames of Yukinoshita and Shiro-senpai

"Meet us at food court, frozen yogurt." I quietly read the message attached to the picture.

Sighing, I place a few bills down for our drinks and I signal it was time to go to Yato, in which he nods.

* * *

"Hachiman!"

"Hachiman."

"Hikigaya-kun."

Instantly all three girls greet me once they see me, only to glare at each other in some sort of Mexican standoff. What the hell did I just walk into?

"O-oi, I'm here too you know!" Yato indignantly yells out, "Why the hell do you get all girls?!"

"Have you met my brother? He's a total sweetheart!"

"He's funny, a bit of an asshole at times, and cute, obviously."

"Totally understanding, kind, amiable, and has a lovely set of eyes."

Each girl follows up one another, all nodding their head in agreement.

"Blonde is _so_ unflattering, Yato-kun."

"Do you even know who you're talking to? We know of your exploits, playboy."

"Yes, even as a kid, you were simply insufferable. I much prefer Hikigaya-kun's company."

Once again, each girl follows each other up, a simple nod shared between them.

I see the color drain from Yato's face after their vicious assault, lightning flashing behind him. Suddenly he finds himself a corner, crouched with face tucked between his knees, a depressing aura whisping off of him as he draws circles on the floor with his finger.

Damn, even _I_ felt a little bad for him.

* * *

For the next hour or so, we all found ourselves happily chatting away with one another, we each had bought our own frozen dessert to accommodate us, although I did have to buy my sister's.

A wide variety of topics were discussed, most of them mundane and not that notable, but I'd be lying to myself if I said I wasn't enjoying myself. Finally catching up with Yato set me a bit at ease, knowing my long time friend didn't change for the most part, and that he still regarded me as a friend even after our time apart. I could see how happy Aneki was chatting away, with our group, her socialite attitude finally resurfacing. I couldn't help but give her a smile, in which she returned.

Yukinoshita was mostly quiet for the beginning, sticking to my side most of the time, only including herself when I talked, however the other girls soon roped her into their conversations as well and she was slowly starting to warm up to them.

Shiro-senpai and Yato were mostly just enjoying themselves, seemingly enjoying our company. Apparently Aneki and Shiro-senpai faced a similar dilemma as Yato and I. It was nice knowing that Aneki still had a friend by her side, even if she was popular.

"Oo~ what flavor did you get, Ototo? Let me have some!" Suddenly Aneki reaches across our table and takes my spoon, scooping a spoonful of my delicious frozen dessert, before putting it into her mouth.

"O-oi! Eat your own goddamn yogurt, you're the one who picked the damn flavor!"

She just sticks her tongue out at me, "stop being stingy."

Suddenly I feel Yukinoshita tug on my sleeve, I glance her way, "Y-you can have some of mine, Hikigaya-kun, it's quite flavorful." She bashfully says, a blush on her cheeks.

Hey, you're going to get me flustered too! Why the hell are you getting embarassed?!

"O-oh…Thanks." She gently puts her spoon in my mouth, before she quickly scoops some of her's again and puts in her mouth, a smile on her face.

I feel two intense gazes directed my way, but they were in fact aimed towards Yukinoshita, who just gave them a triumphant look.

O-oi, did I just find myself in the crossfire of a cold war?

"Hey, no fair! Try some of mine too, Hachiman!" My sister yells out.

"Try some of mine, Hachiman. It's your favorite flavor~." Shiro-senpai quickly follows up.

I see Yato roll his eyes and spreads his arms out into the air, silently shouting, 'why me?!'

Before I have to even say anything, two spoons are shoved into my mouth forcefully. What the hell is wrong with you girls?!

I quickly cough as sudden coldness assaults my tastebuds, "Next time how about you wait for my consent?!"

"Ahah, sorry, Hachiman."

"Oh you're fine."

I look at Yato who was giving me a sour look, forcing his yogurt into his mouth in a forceful manner. Like how a child who was forced to eat his vegetables.

I gently pass my cup of frozen yogurt to Yukinoshita, who looks at me in surprise, "it's only fair." I tell her. She quickly nods and nudges my hand, I roll my eyes and release a sigh. I begrudgingly scoop a spoonful and hold out to her, in which she gently puts into her mouth, munching happily. I soon had to follow up and do the same with the other two girls.

"Oh for the love of-" I hear Yato interject, "you might as well do the same for me! Here, Hikigaya, have some of my oh so sweet yogurt. Ooo." He says in a mock of a girl voice, before going back to forcefully eating his own dessert.

This elicits a laugh from the whole table, which only made Yato pout even more, before suddenly Shiro-senpai puts her spoon in his mouth, "Oh stop that, we were just teasing, Hayato."

"Yeah, yeah, ease up Yato-kun! Here, have some of mine too."

"I guess I could share some of mine with you as well, Hayama-kun."

Yato look around, with tears in his eyes, "Thanks girls." He says happily.

Before we know it, everyone was eating from each other's bowl, and our idle chatter resumed once again. Everything was going well, and I honestly was enjoying myself immensely, it's been so long since I actually hung out with any sort of friends.

"H-Hachiman?" Suddenly my world freezes, like glass breaking, my world shatters after I hear that voice.

I slowly look up towards the voice, so that's what the feeling in my stomach was, huh?

* * *

"K-Kaorin…" I silently breathe out, the old pet-name I'd grown used to calling Kaori. What was she doing all the way out here? Didn't she live closer to Kaihin?

As soon as I look at her, I'm lost in those beautiful honey colored eyes that are all too familiar. Her frame was outfitted with the customary Kaihin blazer over a beige sweater-vest with a dress shirt and loose tie peeking out of its collar. Her brown and unruly hair framed her face, in which I couldn't really explain other than 'cute', although it was a bit longer than from what I remember. How long has it exactly been?

Noticing my silence the idle chatter at my table soon died out, everyone aware of the rather tense atmosphere. Following my gaze, everyone else looked towards Kaori.

She gives me a rather forced smile, "long time no see, huh?"

I couldn't help but tense up, a few memories popping into my head, "Y-yeah, how've you been?" I awkwardly ask.

I can see Yato and Yukinoshita giving me questioning looks, glancing curiously towards Kaori, while my sister gave me a worried look, looking back between Kaori and me, while Shiro-senpai gave me a smile of encouragement.

"G-good, all things considered." She responds again, as my attention snaps back to her's.

A few awkward moments pass between the whole group. I see everyone glance around rather nervously, as the tension almost becomes palpable. Shiro-senpai suddenly stands up, stretching her arms out with a sigh.

"We~ell, I'm a bit thirsty, you guys wanna go to a vending machine or something?"

"What? We literally just ate frozen- Ow, ow, ow!" Before Aneki could finish her sentence, Shiro-senpai forcefully grabs her ear, dragging her along with her; while Aneki flails her arms about, struggling. "No, no! I don't wanna go! She's going to steal Hachiman away from me again!"

"Oh will you be quiet? You're causing a scene, look all these people are staring now."

"Or maybe they're looking at you cause you're hurting me you crazy bitc-!"

"Language, Haruno." I see Shiro-senpai suddenly twist Aneki's arm.

"Ah! Ow-ow-ow! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"Ahaha," Yato awkwardly laughs, catching onto the situation, "how about we go as well, Yukinoshita?"

"B-but-" She starts to argue.

"I heard there was an animal store around this part of the district, with live animals! I'm sure there'll be cats there." He baits.

"C-c-cats?" She shouts out, wide-eyed, before quickly recomposing herself. "I guess, it wouldn't hurt to take a look." And just like that, they're both up and along their merry way.

Kaori and I just stand there dumbfounded with the recent events occurring.

She sets down a couple of her bags on the seat across from mine, before giving a quick apology and scampers off further into the food area. I see her meet up with a couple of girls and guys, all from Kaihin it seems. She has a quick conversation and I see her laugh a little awkwardly, before she comes walking back towards our seating arrangement.

"Sorry about that." She says as she settles in, giving me a quick smile.

"N-no problem." I lamely respond, "how's Kaihin?"

She looks at me surprised, "O-oh, well, same old, same old I guess?"

I nod, "what about you, how have you been?" I ask trying to keep the conversation going.

She gives me an awkward laugh, "Uh, good… good. You?"

I glance off to the side, "Uh, yeah, same…"

A few seconds of silence pass between us, "W-well, how's Sobu?"

I internally cringe, this was getting super awkward and forced. I quickly loosen my collar, it was getting rather stuffy in here.

"A pain in my ass, actually." I say once I remember my first day. When I think about it, a lot has actually happened in the past two days.

She gives a small laugh, a noise I was so accustomed to, I couldn't help but smile a bit at it.

"Haha! You really never do change, do you?"

I roll my eyes at her, "If you were in my shoes, I don't think you'd be finding it as funny as you are now."

She waves her hand at me, "Oh I'm sure it can't be _that_ bad…"

Oh it most definitely can be that bad, the whole damn school is full of the clinically insane!

"You'd be surprised." I grunt out.

"Care to explain?" She gives me one of her trademark smiles, her hands holding up her chin.

* * *

I explain my rather complicated circumstance, a basic rundown of the joys that came with experiencing the circus they call Sobu. I didn't go as in depth as I did with Aneki, but it still seemed to get a few laughs out of Kaori, and I gradually found myself easing up around her, as she seemed to be doing the same. It reminded me of the days we shared at Kaihin.

Kaori was a nice girl, well liked by most people. She found herself in every clique with varying degrees of friendliness, but I've never actually seen anyone dislike her or give any signs of contempt, a complete 180 from my rather dark and cynical attitude I had coming from middle school. We somehow found ourselves in the same homeroom our first year with a couple of other classes, and most of our breaks lined up. No matter what I did to off-put her, she always found me one way or another, striking up meaningless conversations and other conventions. I eventually warmed up to her and we became somewhat close as friends. It wasn't until mid-year that our relationship started getting complicated.

As she was rather popular in the school, a lot of unwanted attention was thrown towards me, especially with the guys. I found myself in a few after school scuffles from the more bold and jealous of guys, even if we weren't actually a 'thing', though I guess we sure acted the part. I spent most of my free time either with her or Aneki, as both became more and more clingy, each demanding my attention. Eventually the two had a verbal spat between them, where I was put between a rock and a hard place. Both girls soon started to ignore me equally, and I, once again, was forced to appease them, it was actually super awkward and I'm not even sure if Kaori was over it, to be completely honest.

"Ahaha! No way! There's actually a girl who dressed up as a cat?" She covers her mouth while laughing.

"She acts like a damn cat too, you'd be surprised." I finish, laughing a bit to myself.

"I hope you didn't do anything untoward, that'd be a real shame…" She quietly says, a dangerous look being shot my way.

I swallow nervously, "I told you what happened didn't I?"

She brings a finger up to her chin in thought, "well I finally made it on the student council, though I don't really do much…" She adds on, continuing the conversation, ignoring her own remark.

I raise my eyebrow at her, I remember her wanting to run for student council president during our first year, but she didn't get enough votes. "Really? What position did you get?"

She gives me an embarrassed look, "j-just a member of the planning committee."

I couldn't help but snort, as I try not to laugh at her expense, from student council president all the way to a member of the planning committee? LUL.

She reaches over the table and lightly slaps my arm, "i-its not funny! I worked really hard yknow?"

Oh, don't worry I know, or did you forget who you dragged around with you, handing out flyers and 'spreading the word'? What a pain in the ass that was.

I wave her off, "yeah, I know; I helped you, didn't I? Sorry, it's just from student council president to…" I trail off and try to stop myself from laughing, again. "Kind of low-balling yourself, aren't you?

She gives me a pout, "jerk. It's not my fault Tamanawa won."

I instantly bristle at the name, oh you mean that one kid was obsessed with you? The kid who thought he was super smart for using english words, even though most of them were used incorrectly; that idiot won over you? He was an absolute moron who cared about his hair way too much.

"Oh, that guy… yeah, he's cool I guess." I comment.

"Oh you're still not upset over that stunt he pulled during the Athletics Festival, are you?"

I give her a look of contempt, "n-not really, why would I care?"

"You think you're so unreadable, Hachiman," Kaori laughs, "but I know how you think, don't worry I rejected him remember? Though I guess it took a little more than words to convince you." She finishes with a sly look.

A few unsavoury images flash through my mind as I remember that day and what it lead to.

I feel my cheeks grow hot, "yeah, whatever."

A few seconds of silence pass between us, damn. It was just like her to bring up the past and reminisce about rather personal topics. What the hell do I even say after that?!

She continues to give me a sly look, "Oh? Thinking about something rather dirty are we?" A laugh escaping her lips.

I internally growl, this damn vixen!

"Oh don't act like you didn't know what you were doing, the only reason why he even approached you was 'cause of your… signs."

She raises her eyebrows at me, "Signs? Why Hachiman, what kind of girl do you take me for?!" She finishes with a gasp, a hand pressed against her chest in mock astonishment.

I roll my eyes at her, "you damn well what I'm talking about. You just loved to get under my skin."

"If you mean under the sheets and getting under your skin that way, certainly." She says without missing a beat.

Something within me growls again, "O-oi… Is that something you should say with a face like that?"

She gives me a heartfelt laugh, "Oh, Hachiman, you always were such a saint when it came to talking about stuff like this, but it was always you who initiated it."

I feel her leg slightly brush against mine as I feel yet another growl within me, "Well… once you do it once, it's kind of hard to stop."

She gives me a curious look, "Hoh~?"

I instantly see her face turn into something sinister, "Aww, you missing little old me?" Her leg again, brushing against mine with more frequency.

I return her look with an evil smile of my own, oh here we fucking go.

"Maybe a little…" I bait, as I force myself to look away embarrassed, as I gauge her reaction from my peripheral.

I see her perk up a bit, "Why don't we get reacquainted then?" She tones out suggestively.

"Oh? I thought playing hard to get was your forte." I say innocently.

She gives a laugh, "technically you already 'got' me, so…" she gives me a wink.

I give her a disappointed look, "well, you're no fun."

She gives me a pout, "asshole."

I instantly laugh, as she joins in.

"Kaori!" I suddenly hear someone call out, "we're leaving!"

I see Kaori quickly stand up, grabbing her bags, "c-coming!"

She looks back to me with a sad look, while I just give her a smile, "it was nice talking to you again Kaori."

"Y-yeah… same." She tones out a bit quietly.

"Kaori!"

"'Kay!"

I raise my eyebrows at her, "I don't think you should keep them waiting."

She quickly looks back to me, then back to her friends before she suddenly runs towards me, grabbing my hand she forcefully brings me along with her.

O-oi! What the hell do you think you're doing?! You know I hate social gatherings, especially with kids I don't know!

She looks back to me, a sardonic smile on her lips, "stop being a sourpuss, once I introduce you to my friends I expect you to do the same."

"I don't want to meet your friends!"

"Keep struggling and I'll introduce you as my boyfriend."

I instantly stop struggling and follow obediently.

"O-oi! Don't go acting all obedient all of the sudden, you're supposed to be unhappy about that!"

I look at her curiously, "wasn't it you who turned me down when I asked you out…? Saying we should just keep our relationship as is? Something about, 'why change something that works'?"

"S-shut up." She pouts.

* * *

After I was introduced to her 'friends', the whole damn group swarmed like a bunch of bees, firing off questions here and there, failing to realize I went to the same school for a year. Was I really that forgettable? All things were going rather smoothly until one of her friends asked me on a rather personal question.

"S-so Hikigaya-san…" One of her friends, Nakamichi, Chika, as she introduced herself, started. "Are you seeing anyone at the moment…?"

I see Kaori instantly have a look of pure murder in her eyes, as she shoots her 'friend' a look, who seemed completely oblivious to it. I quickly glance to Kaori who then turns her harsh gaze to me.

Alright, Hachiman you have two options here:

1.) Tell her the truth, as in, yes, you are indeed single. However, that will cause yet _another_ girl to fiend over me.

2.) Say that no, you are in fact not single, but then who'd be your girlfriend? Kaori? Yukinoshita? Maybe Aneki could pull it off...

"Yes, Hachiman, are you dating anyone at the moment?" Kaori adds on aggressively. I see Nakamichi shoot Kaori a look of contempt before she takes a step towards me, giving me a smile.

Oi, why the hell are you getting so worked up over this? I know we haven't talked in a few months, but when the hell did you get so possessive?

I look around towards the rest of her group of friends who just laugh awkwardly and give me looks that practically screamed 'better you than me'.

What the hell is up with all these thirsty ass girls all of the sudden?

"Uh… No-" I see Kaori shoot me a look of pure unadulterated rage, "-yes, I mean yes! I do in fact have a… uh… girlfriend."

"Hoh~?" Kaori smiles and steps up to me, brushing past her friend, an air of superiority practically dripping off of her, "so who _is_ the lucky girl?"

"Well that's too bad…" Nakamichi tones out depressed, or annoyed, I couldn't tell which.

I awkwardly look around, as Kaori gradually gets closer to me, blinking her eyes rapidly.

"Uhh… can I help you?"

"Your girlfriend," she reminds me, "mind telling us who it is?"

I'm sure I could get away with, saying that Aneki was my girlfriend as I'd probably never see these kids again, and even if I did, I'm sure she is more than willing to act the part; however Kaori already knows who she is, and saying that Kaori was my girlfriend was… well a bigger complication in of itself no doubt.

"A clubmate of mine, a rather eccentric girl." I say quickly and non-committally.

Most of the group just nod in understanding, not paying much mind to my 'supposed' girlfriend, but Kaori was a different story. She gives me a suspicious look as she narrows her eye, a definite wrath behind them. However she quickly wipes the look off her face and gives everyone a smile, "Is that so? I'm sure she's just a _wonderful_ person, though I think it's time for us leave, right guys?"

The rest of the group nods their heads as they start gathering their things and moving along. I just stand there awkwardly waving to everyone who passed, until only Kaori was left.

I go to wave her goodbye, but she instantly grabs my hand and forces me towards her, bringing my face down closer to her level. Her eyes go into slits, as I cast a shadow over her face with my taller frame, a rather venomous look to her as she silently whispers into my ear

"Clubmate, huh? I see how it is, Hachiman. Don't think you can get away from that easily. You know what they say about curious cats."

She lets go of my arm, gives me a rather dark smile, pecking me on the lips before she skips a few paces and gives me a playful wink and a small wave, rejoining her friends again.

I suddenly remember why I stopped talking to that girl.

* * *

I quickly text Aneki and Yato to meet up somewhere; we decided to just call it a day and we found ourselves in the main lobby, walking towards the entrance from where we came.

"Sooo… yeah, Hikigaya gets yet _another_ girl? Solid, solid." Yato suddenly calls out of the blue, nodding his head.

"Don't fuck with me!" He suddenly grabs my collar again, shaking me back and forth, "you really have done some kind of witchcraft, haven't you?!"

"O-oi! What the hell is wrong with you?!" I yell back, as I break his hold on me with my arms, I dodge a quick jab thrown my way, and put my arms out in front of me to block his follow up.

"H-hey, calm down you two," Shiro-senpai tries to break us up, giving us each a smile, but we ignore her.

"All of the sudden, I can't get girls as soon as I hit high school, yet when you do the same, girls are just throwing themselves at you! This can't be a coincidence!" Yato yells back, swinging at me.

I block a few of his punches before I weave into his guard after a rather extended punch and force my elbow into his solar plexus, forcing him back.

"No really, you two are causing a scene." She tries again to appease us, a bit more forcefully.

I ignore her once again, focusing on Yato.

"I dunno, man, maybe you should you dye your hair a different color or something, oh wait…" I give him a grin, it's been awhile since we actually sparred with each other, and I was still rather heated after the conversation I had with Kaori.

He just growls at me, "Oh, I see how it is."

"W-wait, they're not actually going to fight each other, are they? Please refrain yourselves, Hikigaya-kun, Hayama-kun!"

"Just let them be, they're always like this when they get together. They'll be all fine and dandy once they get it out of their systems."

He readies himself, as I bring my guard back up.

"Don't ignore me!" Shiro-senpai suddenly yells.

Both Yato and I pause briefly before I suddenly see Shiro-senpai swiftly move in a blur, as she dashes in front of Yato, pushing her back into his chest, while one of her legs wraps behind one of his, disrupting his balance as she takes hold of his arm with both of her hands and throws her body forward, forcing his bigger frame over her shoulder in a judo throw. He hits the ground with a loud smack, and I internally cringe.

Yato coughs from the floor, dazed from the sudden turn of events. I look on dumbfounded when Shiro-senpai moves towards me, I stand my ground, but I'm suddenly forced to my knees as a powerful kick was sent to the back of my legs, before a solid crecent kick was connected with the side of my head, bringing me to the ground.

I soon groan out from the pain, clutching my head, writhing on the floor with Yato next to me, as he rolls over and cradles his shoulder.

I look up to see Shiro-senpai standing there shaking her head, while holding her temple with one hand, "If you want to go around and pound your chests, like the apes you are, to relieve your masculine insecurity, do it somewhere us girls can't see." She finishes her lecture, wiping her hands together with her eyes closed.

"H-hai." Both Yato and I pathetically groan out. Rolling over onto my back, Aneki comes to my side and helps me up, as Yukinoshita does the same with Yato.

"That was amazing Shiromeguri-senpai!" Yukinoshita comments, a look of bewilderment on her eyes.

"Yeah, you two should know better than that, once Megurin gets angry she's pretty scary~" Aneki follows up, mimicking a monster with her hands clawed out.

"Don't," I wince from the pain, "remind me."

I look over to Yato who wasn't fairing much better, as he cradled his shoulder, and we soon decide to take a seat on the various spread out couches and furniture in the sort of lobby area.

"So who exactly was that, Hikigaya?" Yato asks, once we settle ourselves.

"I am curious to know as well, Hikigaya-kun."

O-oi! There are literally four other seats, why the hell did you all decide to sit with me?!

I find myself on a rather large couch, meant to fit three people, yet I somehow found myself squished between Yukinoshita and my sister, with Shiro-senpai further to my left. Yato was a few paces away on single-seater, growing used to the group dynamic at this point.

"That would be Orimoto, Kaori," I sigh out, "my… ex. Kind of?"

"Eh?!" Yukinoshita squeaks out in surprise before covering her mouth in embarrassment.

Yato gives me a look of understanding, "oh so that's who it is. You mean that's the girl you were talking about back in the cafe?"

I give him nod, in which Yukinoshita looks back and forth between the two speakers.

I see Aneki with a sour look on her face, "yeah, she's the girl who replaced me." She ends with a pout.

"Do you have to word it that way? This is how misunderstandings are caused." I scold her, into which she just crosses her arms and looks the direction opposite of me.

"Hmph!" Shiro-senpai is quick to appease her as she comforts her and pats her shoulder, giving her a smile.

"S-so you guys we're a couple?" Yukinoshita finds her voice again, a blush on her cheeks.

I internally cringe, you just had to ask, huh, you damn curious cat.

"Yeah, what the hell do you mean 'kind of'?" Yato also joins in.

I rub the back of my head awkwardly, "well, I guess we never really made it official..."

As soon as those words left my mouth, total silence enveloped the whole shopping centre. Oi, is it not common courtesy to not listen into other's conversations?!

I suddenly feel three cold gazes on me, and I look over to Yukinoshita who just gave me a blank, disappointed look, her blush totally gone.

"You truly are a deplorable man, Hikigaya-kun."

Geh! I feel as if an arrow had stricken me through the heart.

"That's pretty low, Ototo… Playing with a girl's heart like that."

Geh! Another blow!

"Wow, no wonder she's your ex, Hachiman, I'd probably do the same… probably." Shiro-senpai looks off into the distance, "Actually, she isn't even your ex, because that'd imply you two were a couple, which you weren't." She laments thoughtfully, "I'd almost prefer Hayato over that… almost."

I silently whimper and crumble to the floor, tears streaming down my face. These girls were utterly ruthless, look I know it was a pretty asshole-y thing to do, you don't need to remind me!

"And _I'm_ the bad one?" Yato tones out incredulously, "at least I make it known what I want, leaving girls guessing is how you make them turn psycho! I would know!"

Hey, hey, you're not helping.

Suddenly all the girls glare him down, as he laughs nervously and quietly walks away, saying something about getting a drink.

"There's more to it than that! It wasn't just me!"

"Yuki-nee!" Suddenly a voice screams across the lobby area.

"K-Komachi?!" Wait a minute, I know that name.

I look over to the voice where I'm greeted with a chibi-Yukinoshita with shorter hair and different colored hair and eyes. She comes bounding happily across the floor and jumps towards Yukinoshita, instantly Aneki, Shiro-senpai, and I stand up from the couch and avoid the incoming human cannonball. Yukinoshita is thrown back into the couch with her sister on top of her.

"H-hey, come now, you're causing a scene," Yukinoshita struggles a bit, "Komachi!"

"I was so scared when you didn't come home!" Our resident cat girl's sister yells out, "I thought maybe you ran away, or better yet, someone kidnapped you and was having their way with you in some twisted-" The older sibling instantly slaps a hand over the younger's.

"That's enough, Komachi! I'm fine, see?"

Composing herself, the younger Yukinoshita subtly nods, "but why are you here? I thought you hated crowded places."

"Uh… that is… uhm…" Yukinoshita falters a bit, what the hell are you getting all embarrassed about?

Komachi looks at her sister quizzically before turning her attention back to me, "It's you!"

I give her an awkward smile and a small wave, "Uh, hi?"

She instantly grabs her older sister and forcefully drags her behind the couch, disappearing from our sight, but we could most certainly hear their conversation.

"Ooo~ Are you on a date, Nee-chan?! Kya! You're finally getting a boyfriend?! Can I call him Onii-chan? Did you guys make sure to buy protection? Should I make sure not to be home tonight?!"

"Hey, you sex-crazed girl, I can hear you!" I yell to them.

"Be quiet Onii-chan, we're having a private conversation!" Her head suddenly shoots up from behind the couch before disappearing again.

"P-please, ignore my sister, Hikigaya-kun." I hear Yukinoshita's voice quietly squeak out from behind the couch.

" **Onii-chan?!** " Both Shiro-senpai and Aneki yell out, giving me disgusted looks.

"O-oi! It's not like that! I didn't tell her to call me that!" I try to defend.

"You never cease to amaze me, Hachiman."

"Gross, Ototo…"

I let out another sigh and just shake my head, taking a seat.

I give up….

* * *

"Hey, weren't you our waitress at the cafe?"

Apparently Komachi wasn't alone. Explaining her circumstance, she was originally here to meet her friend as they had plans after she'd get out of work, apparently her 'friend' was out spazz of a waitress from before.

"Eh?! It's you again!" The spazz yells out, I give her a questioning glance.

"Yeah…?" Did she actually remember who I was? Was it normal to recognize the various customers going through a day's work?

Now that I got a closer look of the girl, she was most definitely younger than me. She had a very small frame, with very big doe eyes the color of bright amber, accompanied by light brown-bordering-blonde flaxen hair that ended at her shoulders. She looked to be an adorably innocent girl.

"This is the guy I was talking about Iroha-chan!" Komachi suddenly says.

She gives me a curious look, "hoh~. So you're Yukino-senpai's boyfriend, you're a bit different from what I imagined."

H-hey, what are you saying?! Don't go around spreading baseless accusations such as those!

" _ **WHAT?**_ " Again, both Aneki and Shiro-senpai yell out again, as my sister goes for my throat, knocking me the ground while Shiro-senpai joins in and puts me in an armbar.

ARE YOU GIRLS ACTUALLY GOING TO BELIEVE HER?!

"Though I guess I can see why, I wouldn't mind dating you either..." She quietly laments to herself, "Eh?! Noo~! I mean like you just seem like a really nice guy!" She quickly tries to recover after realizing she was talking out loud.

"Hey guys, I'm back what's-" I hear Yato finally coming back from his little detour, "-OH HELL NO!"

He suddenly yells out, joining the fray, "there is no _fucking_ way there are even more girls after you Hikigaya! This is bullshit!"

Noticing my predicament Yukinoshita quickly follows up, trying to come to my aid, "P-please don't take what these girls say to heart, they are rather… delusional." She looks worriedly at me, but just skirts around the two older girls in morbid curiosity, trying to appease them.

"Oo~ what a situation we have here! I always wanted to see some sort of a public fetish!" Soon enough Komachi joins the fray as well, following her sister's lead on circling me, except she was egging the two older girls on opposite to what her sister was doing; while the two older girls were busy trying to kill me. As Yato was off in the distance yelling obscenities to me. I see my vision darken as I struggle to breathe.

I'm actually going to die!

I glance around and see this 'Iroha' have a curious look to her eyes, before pulling out her phone and snapping a picture.

The flash blinds me and my vision darkens, until all the noises and sounds eventually fade to black.

I'm dead, aren't I?

* * *

 **So... yeah. Hope the revision is to your liking, basically the same damn story just removed the rather nasty parts, added a few scenes and, uh... yeah. That's that.**

 **Haruno will be a romantic interest, I have decided.**

 **Again, I had to scrap the next chapter so my update schedule has been delayed; oh yeah about that, I kind of gotten myself into a schedule here, good news!**

 **Tuesdays and Saturdays are the times I have most to write, I usually finish my chapters on those days, then take a few days to revise. I usually try to update on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. So if you're busy just check the front page of this fandom those days to see if I updated.**

 **Sorry if this whole things been a big fucking mess, I know. Rather unprofessional and pretty goddamn amateurish, but hey, its fan fic, what're you gonna do right? Hopefully with this I can get back to the root of the story and finally MOVE THE FUCK ON. Jfc, this arc has been drawn out way too long.**

 **Anyways, thanks guys. I wanna give a shout-out to all those who're still following and reading this story, you guys are the best!**

 **Until next time,**

 **-Ausko**


	5. Precedent

****GOOD NEWS GOOD NEWS****

 **I have finally found my muse once again with this story, and have ideas for at least two more chapters, so expect quick updates once again. I may have went a bit overboard with the crack on this one, but at least I had fun writing it.**

 **I want to thank and welcome all the new followers/favoriters we're almost at 90! That's insane!**

 **I also want to thank all my veteran readers, I know it's been a rocky road, but I hope you enjoy this chapter and feel like I've gotten back to the roots of my story. Shout out to LyingHikki, this chapter is dedicated to you! Hope it fulfills your rather... eccentric tendencies, haha.**

 **Guest : Hey thank for the review, and encouragement! I mean, I don't exactly know what you mean by 'walls', but uh.. Yeah! Totally, man(I have no idea what your talking about, haha). Regardless, hope you find the new rendition to your liking, and if your the same 'guest' as the block analogy guy, I thank you very much for that review. It was brutally honest(just how I like it) and had a few good points. If that's not you, ignore me, but I know the original is out there prowling my story, haha.**

 **I will be removing the bolded text in Chapter 4.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU or anything related to it.**

* * *

I groggily wake up and find myself in a rather dark room, which was rather odd. I distinctly remember being at the shopping centre with everyone, what was I doing before this?

Then I remember the two girls trying to kill me, and the rather inane situation I found myself in, with the appearance of Komachi and our waitress, maybe it was for best that I died; better than dealing with those crazy ass girls, plus one; I mean, I did say this school was going to be death of me didn't I?

I heave a heavy sigh, although unfortunate, I guess it can't be helped, what the hell do I even do as a dead person? Oo~ maybe I can go haunt people! Or meet someone famous!

Yeah, right. Who am I kidding? Being dead sucks.

Then again, am I really dead? I mean… I don't feel 'dead', but I'm not sure what feeling 'dead' even implies. Alright Hachiman, how about we actually think rational thoughts, instead of talking in circles?

You ever find it weird that you legitimately talk to yourself?

Oh, you're back, me.

Unfortunately.

Well, people say they gradually get cold, or feel cold when they're dying or are dead. I certainly don't feel cold, in fact I'm actually quite comfortably warm. Why was I warm? I look down and see that I was in a bed, covered by blankets.

Oh, well that solves a few things, but why was I in a bed? It didn't seem like a hospital bed, nor did it look like my room. Actually, the room was quite neat and very organized, almost obsessively so. Weird…

I suddenly feel something move next to me, what the fuck?! I look to the noise of fabric sliding against fabric, wait, why the hell were the blankets moving?!

I instantly shoot up into a sitting position, as I move away from the moving mound of blankets. I hold my breath and stop moving, searching for any sign of aggression as well as looking for an escape route.

After a few minutes the mound stops moving and goes back to a slow rhythmic cycle of rising and falling. Wait a minute! Is there somebody under there?!

Releasing my breath, I go to gingerly move the blanket back, careful not to disturb whatever was underneath. What I see underneath honestly baffles me.

"Shiro-senpai?!" I say in surprise. I slap a hand over my mouth, not expecting to say it that loud. Unfortunately it was too late, as I see Shiro-senpai slowly open her eyes, blinking a few times, before getting into a sitting position herself, rubbing her eyes in a cute manner.

"H-hachiman…?" She tones out quietly, her eyes adjust to the darkness as she fully looks at me, "what's wrong?"

I feel my mouth open to give her answer, but then immediately closes, opening again once I see her state of dress, I close my mouth once again; and the cycle continues.

Shiro-senpai only had on a loosely buttoned dress shirt on that seemed much too big for her, leaving little left to the imagination, I could even see her bra!

I turn my face away from her, "Why the hell are you in my bed?!" I yell out my question.

She humms in thought, "Mm… I don't know."

WHAT?!

"What the hell do you mean 'you don't know'?! You don't just find yourself in someone's bed at random!" I say rather ironically.

"But…" She yawns out, covering her mouth as tears appear in the corner of her eyes, "this is my bed…"

WHAT?!

"If this is your bed, then… why the hell am I here?"

She gives me a small smile, "because it's _our_ bed silly!"

WHAT?!

Shiro-senpai slowly makes her way towards me, bringing the blankets along with her as she leans her whole weight into my chest, seemingly making herself comfortable before the slow rhythmic rising and falling starts again. I couldn't help but notice the amount of skin she was actually showing, as I feel certain parts of her even through my clothes, a soothing warmth being generated.

O-oi! Don't just go around falling asleep whenever you want!

Though if I were being honest with myself, I didn't particularly mind _that_ much, no, in fact this was rather enjoyable. The warmth slowly envelops me, as I settle back into the bed, Shiro-senpai still using my chest as a pillow and I instinctively wrap my arms around her, as she snuggles even more(if that was even possible) into me.

Listening to the steady rhythm lulls me into a rather drowsy state, along with the warmth that was being generated between us. If I was dead, I must've not been such a bad person after all, I could get used to this!

I suddenly feel Shiro-senpai shift within my hold, and I couldn't help but notice certain parts of her coming into contact with me, due to her movements. I try my hardest to ignore the feeling, and the rather dark thoughts skimming my mind, as I force myself to look at the ceiling as a sort of catalyst for the mantra going through my head.

Shiro-senpai continues to move within my hold, almost to the point where I start to think she was doing it on purpose. H-hey, if you keep doing the things you're doing, you're going to make it really hard for me to control myself, yknow.

"O-oi," I call out, "stop moving so much will you?"

I feel Shiro-senpai stop moving and I casually look down, "what? Not to your liking?" She tones out playfully.

I feel my face grow a bit hot, "I-I wouldn't exactly s-say that, no. But you are making it rather… difficult."

She sits up a bit, practically straddling me as I get a rather 'open' view of her, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't look away. She hums in thought, "mm… still no good, huh."

Wait, was she talking to herself?

I see a proverbial lightbulb go off in her head as she suddenly snaps her finger in acknowledgement before she looks at me, "Say Hachiman, why don't you try calling me Meguri?"

I look at her in confusion, "come again?"

She gives me a sigh, "it's always Shiro-senpai this, or Shiro-senpai that. Even most of my classmates call me by my last name, it makes me feel a bit old." She gives me a pout.

"I'm not old, right Hachiman?" She leans her body down, as she uses her hands to uphold herself slightly above me.

"N-no," I look off to the side to avoid her intense gaze, "of course not."

"Then how about calling me by my first my name? Come on, say it with me, Me-gu-ri." She moves herself a bit, and again I feel certain parts go against certain other parts.

"B-but you've always been Shiro-senpai to me, I've been calling you that ever since we met.""

She gives lets out a grunt of disappointment, "oh, fine…"

I look back up to her, as she looks off the side, fully sitting up again, her arms crossed in disappointment. O-oi, you should really cover yourself up a bit more, yknow?

Suddenly I hear a loud noise, something akin to a car crash, as light streams into the room.

I quickly sit up, making Shiro-senpai fall out of my lap and into the bed, I look around and see a door shattered against the wall across from it, like it was kicked off it's hinges.

"Oh Megurin~ I better not find you alone in here with my brother~, that'd be a real shame, huh?" I suddenly hear Aneki's voice from the stream of light pouring into the room as I now see that the door, indeed, was kicked off it's hinges and sent flying into the wall, shattering it.

Oh shit, this is not good. I look over to Shiro-senpai who had wild look of fear in her eyes, she quickly glances around looking for a place to hide, before she instantly dives under the bed.

Dumbfounded with the sudden events occurring around me, I see Aneki step into the room, scanning it like some sort of serial killer in a slasher film, her eyes falling on me.

I swallow the lump that was forming in my throat, why the hell was I feeling so tense? It's just my sister.

Oh I don't fucking know… MAYBE BECAUSE SHE LITERALLY KICKED A FUCKING DOOR DOWN SENDING IT FLYING EIGHT FEET AWAY? THAT DOOR COULD BE YOU NEXT!

G-good point, me

"Y-yo… Aneki." I silently call out, I see her eyes narrow as they look towards me

"Where is she?"

Her voice comes out in a barely audible level but I most definitely heard it, almost as if it echoed off the walls.

"W-who?" I ask.

I see Aneki step into the room even more, ignoring my remark. She throws open the walk-in closet, rummaging through it briefly before she continues her search with the rest of the room. Alarms were blaring in my mind to make a run for it, to run to the door while she was preoccupied. Something was most definitely off here!

The hairs on the back of neck stand on end as she makes her way towards me, "you wouldn't possibly be lying to your Onee-chan, would you, brother dearest?"

I rub the back of my neck in order to shake the sense of horror building within me, "no, of course not."

She looks at me suspiciously, "good, cause you know how much I hate liars, I'd be sad if I had to kill you."

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WHAT?!

"K-kill?" I tone out in question.

"Yeah…" She suddenly pulls out a knife from thin air, "yknow? Like if this knife just happened to slip or something." She says casually.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE A KNIFE?!

"O-oi, why the hell do you have a knife?" I ask, the alarms in my head practically bursting in my head.

"Oh… just taking it for a walk." She says as if talking about the weather.

"You… take walks with your knives?" I swallow nervously.

She suddenly points it to me, "...yeah, who doesn't?"

I instantly recoil from her, as she raises her eyebrows at me, "why're you tense, Hachiman?"

Maybe because you're acting like a complete nutjob walking around pointing a damn knife at me?!

"N-no reason, sis'." I recover, "say, what're you doing here anyway, better yet, where are we?"

"Why you're at ****, of course." I look at her confused, I definitely saw her lips move, but I didn't actually hear anything.

"W-What?" I ask again.

She puts her a finger to my lips with her free hand, "ah, ah, ah." She chides me.

"You know what the say about curious cats."

Something within me focuses on that line, haven't I heard that somewhere before…?

" _Don't think you can get away from that easily. You know what they say about curious cats."_

I look back to Aneki, but I instantly jump back in shock.

"What the fuck?!" Instead of seeing Aneki there, I see Kaori standing in front of me.

"You thought you could avoid me forever?" She gives me a sinister smile, as the knife in her hand slowly raises and she inches towards me.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

* * *

I wake with a start, as I pant heavily out of breath, my heart racing as my eyes dart around my surrounding area. I see that I was once again in a bed, and I instantly throw off all the blankets and get to my feet.

My heart was still racing and my breathing was becoming rather labored. After a few moments I calm myself as I take a few deep breaths.

That was southern as shit! What the hell kind of dream was that?!

Wait, wait, wait… Where the hell am I now?

Suddenly someone bursts into the room through the door, "what the hell are you doing standing around for?! Get a move on!"

"Wha-?" I try to make sense of the situation as a girl, it was the waitress, throws me an automatic rifle. I clumsily juggle it in my hands before finally grasping it, almost dropping it from the unexpected weight behind it.

The window behind me shatters as something rolls towards me, what the fuck is that?

"Look away, dumbass!"

Suddenly my vision is enveloped in pure white as my ears feel as if they were bleeding, a loud and continuous ringing was echoing in my head as I feel myself drop to the floor, clawing at my eyes.

"What the actual _fuck_! Oh my _fucking_ god that hurts!" I yell out to nobody in particular, my vision was still skewed as I try to make sense of what was going on, panic settling in once again.

As soon as I gain my bearings, my vision refocusing I see the waitress, still in her uniform, prop herself against the wall adjacent to the window, taking quick peeks. A bright searchlight shines through the broken window as whipping winds enter the room, a loud motorized chopping noise coming from outside.

Was that a fucking helicopter?!

"O-oi! What the hell is going on?!" I yell over the loud motorized noise coming from outside.

The waitress looks over to me as she gives me a bloodthirsty smile, "it's time for you to make a decision, or else a you might find yourself in the middle of a war!"

"War-war-war." She makes an echo by herself, hiding her mouth behind her hand. Did she actually think I didn't notice?

"Uh…? You know, I can see that," I start, before shaking my head, "you know what? Nevermind, carry on."

"Well… I wasn't actually written any more lines so I'm actually at a lost as to what do." She says to me blankly, dropping her rifle before it fires off a round into ceiling with a loud 'bang' as she checks her nails.

"What the fuck?! What are you doing!"

"I dunno, improvising?"

"What the hell does that even mean?!"

"Look, I'm just trying to get through this scene like anyone else." She says, exasperatedly.

"Uh…?"

She shakes her head, and pinches her nose, "just say 'decision' in a confused manner, fuck! Did you even read the script?!" She suddenly yells at me.

"W-what?"

"Oh my-" She trails off, throwing her arms in the air, "JUST DO WHAT I FUCKING SAY OR SO HELP ME GOD-!" She suddenly picks up her rifle and points it towards me,

I nod my head vigorously. Okay you crazy ass girl, just stop pointing that fucking gun at me!

"D-decision?" I ask, confused.

Getting back into position next to the window, she fires a few rounds from her rifle out the window, the sounds of primer igniting and pressurized gasses escaping the barrel of the rifle fill the room as my already sensitive ears start ringing again, the smell of gunpowder filling my nose

She turns back to me, "you're a smart kid, figure it out yourself!"

"I-I'm older than you, though…"

Soon enough I hear a loud noise come from downstairs, something akin to an explosion, followed by rapid footsteps and indistinct shouting. The footsteps get louder and louder, almost like they were coming towards us.

"Hmm…" The waitress ponders, lost in thought, "well… that's my cue, see ya."

And with that she dives through another window, o-oi! Don't leave me by myself! Weren't we on the second floor?!

I run over to the window to where the waitress jumped out with the intent to follow suit, before I instantly stop in my tracks. Looking out, I realize, _damn_ was that a long way down.

"Uh… you okay?" I yell out, as I see the waitress on the ground grovelling in pain, shards of glass strewn about.

"Just," She takes a breath, "peachy!" She yells back, struggling to stand up.

"O-okay." I yell back to her, "you sure you don't need like medical attention or anything? Want me to call an ambulance?"

"Just, stop talking!" She yells at me annoyed, tripping on her bad leg, falling once again, "You're dragging on this scene longer than it's supposed to! And with that," she pants, "suscepting me to more pain!"

"You sure? You seem to be struggling a bit over there!" I ignore her, "I mean, I could like… throw you a first-aid kit or something? Maybe a band-aid?"

"Will you-!" She seethes out, angrily stomping away once she gets up.

"That's a tree you're walking into." I yell out helpfully.

"-SHUT UP!"

Well okay, then.

Not having much time to think about another response, dozens of men come storming through the door, shouting in some language I didn't understand. They were all dressed in some sort of riot gear as they all point their guns at me.

Uh… This _is_ a dream right? I slowly raise my hands, not knowing what to do. I mean, this is what people do as a sign of peace, right?

A person, seemingly in charge, makes their way past the men and walks up to me a dark sack in her hand.

"Y-Yuigahama?!"

Suddenly my vision is once turned into darkness as she forces the sack over my head, but not before I get a glimpse of her smiling face.

* * *

Soon enough I gain my bearings back and I have to cover my eyes as bright sunlight assaults my eyes.

I instantly groan out in frustration, what now...

I look around and see that I was sitting in chair in a rather open room. A table was in front of me as I see an assortment of pastries neatly placed on a serving dish, accompanied by two steaming cups of, what I assume, was tea. The familiar aroma fills my sense of smell, and I can't help but feel like I've been here before.

I feel something stir within in my lap and I look down.

…

"Alright, fuck this, I'm done." I say out loud to no one in particular, this was actually getting ridiculous.

"Stick to the script!" I hear somebody whisper to me in a harsh tone.

Uhh..?

As I move my eyes downwards, I see Yukinoshita fast asleep in my lap. Her head was resting on her arms that crossed under her, acting as an impromptu pillow, as her arms balanced themselves on my lap. Her lower body laid out across another chair, as her body was curled to fit herself on a single chair. Her cat ears twitched slightly as her tail wrapped around her, swishing ever so slightly.

I'm pretty sure she was the one who said that; not to mention that she was literally taking a cat-nap on my lap.

Hey that rhymed!

"Oi, I know you're not actually sleeping."

I go to flick her forehead and she instantly recoils from me, falling off my lap with a surprised squeak.

...oops.

"So what dumbass hidden message or half-assed theme are you supposed to give me?" I ask her once she settles herself.

She gives me a blank look, "well after that, you kind of just ruined the whole scene." She finishes in a voice that wasn't her own.

I roll my eyes at… whoever she was supposed to be, "look, just get on with the story alright? No one wants to read your shitty-"

…

Oi, why can't I talk?!

"Oh I'm sorry, what was that? I didn't quite catch that." 'Yukinoshita' inquires sardonically before giving me a mocking smile, "cat got your tongue?"

I roll my eyes again and just stare at her blankly.

Oh no; yeah, cat, Yukinoshita, cat-tongue, haha, yeah; wow, how funny. 10/10.

 _Literally, kill me._

"Tch, alright sheesh. Why can't anyone take a joke nowadays." She finishes with an annoyed sigh. "Just remember, those who are in need of help, often don't call for it."

* * *

-chiman!"

"Hachiman!"

I find myself laid out on a couch, all the girls surrounding me, while Yato seemed to be taking a nap on a la-z-boy.

"What… Happened?" I ask out, in a groggy state. Why the fuck did my arm feel like it was yanked out of it's socket?

Both Aneki and Shiro-senpai give me guilty looks as I look at them both suspiciously.

I hear Komachi start, "oh don't worry, each and every one of us girls had our way with you in various acts of-" She was instantly cut off by each girl slapping a hand over her mouth, as she just looks at them sadly with her head lowered.

"...right, okay then. Let's try that again." I tone out slowly after a few seconds of silence.

"Eheh…" Aneki laughs out awkwardly, "well… I may of went a little overboard, sorry about that."

I look at her in confusion. "Overboard?"

Yukinoshita takes this time to talk, "while Isshiki-san made the comment about you being my," she pauses and coughs in embarrassment, "b-boyfriend, Haruno-san and Shiromeguri-senpai seemed hell bent on killing you, hence your rather pitiful state."

She finishes with an air of authority, however for whatever reason I couldn't get some other voice of her out of my head, almost like she was supposed to be voiced by someone else… weird.

I heave out another heavy sigh, "of course that's what happened."

I honestly felt like complete shit and was _not_ in the mood to deal with these girls. I just wanted to go and home and sleep.

I rub the back of my head as I stand up, stretching a bit, before wincing once I rotated my shoulder. No really, what the fuck, did someone put me in an armbar or something? I walk over to Yato's sleeping form before I smack the back his head and he instantly shoots up ready to swing.

"We're leaving." I say in a bored tone, he just silently nods once he realizes the rather quiet atmosphere surrounding the group, and we all eventually make our way out of the shopping centre.

* * *

Soon enough everyone separated once leaving the main gate of the shopping centre, exchanging pleasantries with each other; and since Aneki had driven here, I was leaving with her.

"Say, Yukinoshita," I call out as we're walking, "you live in the same apartment complex right? I could give you a ride, if you want."

She looks back to me and gives me a smile, "Thank you for the offer, Hikigaya-kun, but my sister-"

"Yuki-nee hurry up!"

"-Her and Isshiki-san are having a sleepover of sorts, I would like to keep an eye on her, so I will be joining them." she finishes after she was rudely interrupted, walking back towards her sister.

"Your parents don't mind?" I ask curiously.

She turns back with a look over her shoulder, a certain emotion I couldn't really gauge skimming her face, "We live alone, Hikigaya-kun."

And with that turns back around, joining her sister and the waitress as she goes between them, both of them excitedly chatting her up as she struggles to keep them safely on the sidewalk, if anything she reminded me of a mother looking out for her kittens.

"You ready, Hachiman?" Aneki comes up beside me, my eyes focus on the three girls walking away as their frames get smaller and smaller. I couldn't help but keep my eyes on the back of Yukinoshita, and as if she could hear what was going through my head, she turns around slightly and gives me a wave.

"Yeah…" I distractedly respond to my sister. I turn back to my sister and we make our way to where her car was parked.

Yukinoshita lives alone too? I glance once more time to the three girls as I see them turn and disappear from my sight. I slowly turn back and enter the passenger side of the car.

 _Those who're in need of help, often don't call for it._

So she really is lonely, huh?

* * *

As we get in and suit up, the sound of the ignition turning and the engine roaring to life fills the background. As we start driving I lazily look out the window as the scenery passes by, I go to turn up the radio to fill the silence of the car ride, before Aneki smacks my hand and I look at her curiously.

"You're not… mad, are you?" Aneki quietly asks me.

"More like tired, " I lazily respond, " a lot has happened these past two days, and seeing Kaori again resurfaced a few memories."

She keeps her eyes on the road ahead of her, but I see her scowl a bit, "what? Feeling lonely without your little girl toy?"

I internally groan and roll my eyes at her, "it's not like that, Aneki."

"If you say so."

I sigh, "there was a reason we stopped talking, Aneki. Not that you would know."

She recoils a bit, "s-sorry, you know how her and I are…"

Yes, I'm well aware sister, dearest; I was stuck in the middle in case you forgot.

As we stop at a traffic light, I look around and see that we are in a rather bustling part of town, with streets lined with various shops, cafes, and restaurants.

 _Don't think you can get rid of me that easily._

 _You might find yourself in the middle of a war!_

"Hey, why don't we pull over for a bit? I know it's not Sunday but, what do you say? Not too cool to hang out with your little brother?" I look over and give her a smile.

I see her instantly bristle as her eyes go wide eyed as she looks over to me with a blush on her face, "y-y-you actually remembered..."

I give her a look of confusion, "what?"

"N-nothing!" She squeaks out, looking forward, "I was just surprised, you're being serious?"

"...I'll take that as a 'no', then?"

"Wha-, no I'd love-?" I hear Aneki try to answer me.

* _ **BEEP, BEEP, BEEP-BEEP BEEEEEEP***_

"Hey, what the fuck are you doing?! It's green, asshole!"

 _ ***BEEEEEP***_

"People got places to be! What's the hold up?!"

"S-sorry!" I hear Aneki yell out to the other drivers.

H-hey, I don't think they can hear you from inside the car unless you roll down the window or something

"O-oi!, Aneki the light is red now! Why the hell are you accelerating?!"

I'm suddenly thrown back into my seat, suffering from extreme whiplash as she steps on the gas, blowing straight through the intersection, as more and more car horns are honked at us. I hold on to the assist-handle above me holding on for dear life.

Holy shit! We're actually going to fucking die!

"I-I know! I don't do well with people yelling at me!" Aneki screams in front of her, tears in the corners of her eyes, "which, if you haven't noticed, you are doing at this very moment!"

"You're yelling at me!" I argue back.

"I know!" She sobs out.

* * *

Soon enough after seeing my life flash before my eyes and deciding that I am to drive for the rest of the night. We parked our car on some side street and Aneki and I found ourselves walking side by side down the rather busy street, as other groups of teenager and couples of various ages found themselves doing the same.

We spent the latter half of an hour exploring the area and basically went window shopping. We also went to a small cafe when we got a little chilly and decided to get some coffee. We talked about nonsensical stuff and we even went into a bookstore just spending time together in general. Honesty, it was things like this we often found ourselves doing when we we're trying to spend more time with each other, and what caused her to become so… clingy.

Soon enough, we found ourselves walking the streets again, enjoying the crisp night air.

"You know it would've been nice if you could've at least changed out of your school uniform." My sister says after we started walking.

"What, you want this to be like a date or something?" I tone out boredly.

She blows a rapsberry, "Wha-? Pshh, nah, I mean… whaa? Haha, unless, like, you want it to be one; I don't really care."

Oi, oi, you're trying way too hard to be casual about it!

"I don't really see the big deal, honestly."

She lets out a sigh, "would it kill you to at least be a little excited? This was your idea, y'know."

"Sorry," I apologize, "I just seem to be put into rather dangerous situations lately and it's really taking its toll on me."

"Maybe we should just call it a night, then." My sister suggests with an air of annoyance.

I heave out another heavy sigh, lowering my head a bit, girls…

"Oh come on, Aneki, the night's still young!" I say enthusiastically, "don't tell me you're getting tired already?" I bounce around her, and all around just being plain annoying; but it elicits a laugh out of her. She eventually takes a hold of my arm and we continue to walk with our arms linked.

"So.. how's school been treating you?" I ask after a few silent moments. The steady beat of our synchronized steps echoing through the night.

She laughs a bit, "Not that interesting, though it seems that my little fanclub has a little rumor circling around."

I raise my eyebrows at her, "Oh? The fact that you acknowledge you have a fanclub worries me, but ignoring that, what's this rumor?"

"That I've recently gotten a boyfriend!" She yells out happily.

I instantly faceplant into the floor, "What?!"

She nods her head happily, and leans herself into me, still holding onto my arm, "yup! Neat, huh?"

She has a boyfriend? When the hell did that happen?! Who was he? What year was he from? Was he attractive? What was he like? How long has it been? Do I know him? How did they meet? Why wasn't I told about this!

"R-really? But you said it was a rumor, is it true?" I ask a bit forcefully.

She gives me a sly look, "oh, wouldn't you want to know?"

I glance off to the side, "n-not particularly."

I hear he give a soft giggle, before unwrapping herself from me. She starts walking in front of me with her back turned as she faces me, matching my pace.

You might run into a pole walking like that, y'know.

"He's a bit of an asshole at times," she starts, "super moody, hates people, really dark and…" she stops, "get this! Girls seem to love him!"

"Is that so?"

She steps towards me, "mhmm… It's kind of frustrating, 'cause I barely get to get so spend time with him. He's super cute too!"

We stopped walking as I hold her gaze, I don't know why, but for some reason I was getting a sudden urge to punch something. Hearing her gush about this random guy was starting grate and on my nerves.

"At a quick glance," she starts once again, "he comes off as a pretty scary person, most people try to avoid him at first, but he's actually a really sweet guy."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as I brush past her, honestly the more she kept talking, the more agitated I was becoming. Maybe he was a cool guy, but I had nothing to base it off of and that was what was really putting me on edge. Aneki was a rather popular girl, it wasn't a surprise for guys to garner for her attention, but she usually turned them down. This was the first time she actually seemed even slightly interested in a guy, let alone actually have a FUCKING BOYFRIEND, WHAT THE FUCK?!

Alright, calm down there Hachiman, this was going to happen eventually, right? Who knows maybe he was a super nice guy, maybe I already know him.

YEAH FUCKING RIGHT, I'M GONNA HAVE TO KICK HIS ASS AREN'T I?!

I feel Aneki rush up beside me, matching my pace once again, "wanna know who the lucky guy is?"

"First," I sigh out, "is he actually your boyfriend?"

She giggles, "no, silly, it's just a rumor after all."

I breathe a sigh of relief, looks like I got worked up over nothing, "T-thats, uh… a shame."

"Isn't it? Maybe it's time I took initiative." She tones out thoughtfully.

"So if he isn't actually your boyfriend, who is he?" I ask, trying to get back on track, ignoring her comment.

She takes my arm into her's once again, as she leans her head on my shoulder "my brother, of course."

Oh, okay he's just your brother, yeah…

WAIT, WHAT?!

"Come again?" I falter.

"The rumor is about you dumby, after our arrival at school together, people thought you were my boyfriend." she laughs, "you better watch out, my fanclub can get pretty… rowdy."

Oh, so that's what it is, well that makes things a bit easier.

"And you didn't bother telling them the truth?" I ask incredulously.

She rolls her eyes at me, "of course I did, but you know how rumors are. No one's going to listen to what I say."

"Unless you want that rumor to become a reality." She adds on casually.

I instantly look at her in astonishment as well as horror. She matches my look with a small smile, a sad look to her eyes.

"W-what are you saying? You know that wouldn't work."

She grows a bit silent after my comment, keeping her eyes forward, while leaning more of her weight into me.

"But, why?" She says quietly.

"What do you mean 'why'? You're my sister, there is no 'why'."

"Then I'll just change my identity!" she chirps out happily.

I faceplant into the floor once again, "what kind of stupid ass logic is that?! That still doesn't change the fact that we're related!"

She just laughs, but an air of seriousness soon follows after, "you know cousins marry each other, it's not that uncommon here in Japan."

I wipe all traces of emotion from my face as well, "true, but when have you ever heard of a brother and sister marrying each other? At least, with their parents' blessing and/or legally?"

"Everything has to have a precedent, you could make history." She comments blankly.

I actually give a sigh of discontent, "I can't believe it; you're actually being serious right now."

I look down to her, but she still keeps her eyes forward, as her eyes seem to stare off into the distance, emotionless, "dead serious."

"Look, we've talked about this before, Aneki. Where did all of this even come from?" I ask exasperatedly.

"Back when we barely talked to one another!" She suddenly yells, ripping herself away from me, "you know how much I hate being alone, those two years were miserable for me!"

I look at her in astonishment, before I calmly respond to her, "you and I both know that was out of our hands, we have other priorities than each other; other responsibilities."

"That's just an excuse!" she argues, "nothing should prioritize itself over family! I'm your sister! It was always just the two of us!"

I give her a hard gaze, "really? That's a bit hypocritical of you; it wasn't just me ignoring you and you know it. Relationships are a two-way street."

She falters a bit, a look of hurt flashing across her features. She remains silent as I hold her gaze.

"What about me, Aneki? You had your friends, hell, you basically had the whole student body in love with you. You were revered, an idol, especially since you were a first-year." I calmly explain, "I had _books_. Books, tests, and even more books to keep me company. You know how frustrating cram school was? You don't think I felt miserable too? I spent the whole year either studying, or in that damn school, no friends, nothing!" I let a bit of my anger slip out, before I reign it back in.

I let go of a deep breath, "But you know Chichi-ue and how he is, I wouldn't dare go against his wishes."

She looks to floor in shame, as she slowly wraps her arms around herself, "y-you're right, I'm sorry." She quietly says, "that was selfish of me to say."

I just give a noncommittal sigh, "no need to apologize."

I go up to her and wrap my arms around her, bringing me close to my chest as I talk close to her ear, "again, it was out of our hands. At least Haha-ue is a bit more understanding, one of the main reasons I wanted to attend Sobu and move was to get away from Chichi-ue and his iron fist; not to mention spend more time with you."

She looks back up to me, a few stray tears in her eyes, "I thought you came to Sobu because you got expelled from Kaihin, something about getting into too many fights?"

I cough awkwardly, "Y-yeah… I just wanted to sound sappy."

She suddenly bursts out laughing, doubling over, "Ahaha! Y-you're such a loser, Ototo!"

I rub the back of my head in embarrassment, "o-oi, that took a lot of effort to say y'know? And you wonder why I'm such an asshole to everyone, it's because of shit like this."

I start to walk away, a scowl on my face.

She recovers, "w-wait! Come back, Hachiman. I didn't mean it."

"Nope." I casually say out, "You're cut off for the rest of today."

She lets out a small gasp, "come on, Hachiman! I'm sorry! That was really sweet, seriously."

I continue to ignore her, keep my pace ahead of hers, as she starts to chase me down the street, vying for my attention,.

"H-hachiman! I'm sorry!" She yells out, still chasing me.

I make sure to continue my pace ahead of her so she couldn't see the smile creeping up on my face. I really did miss my sister.

"Somebody help me! This crazy woman won't leave me alone!"

"O-oi! Stop being a pain in the ass, Ototo!" she yells again, "Hachiman!"

I give a heartfelt laugh, and turn around to give her a smile, as she joins in my laughter, I hold out my hand as she clasps it in her's and we continue running down the street, laughing.

All things must have a precedent, huh? I guess there are worst things than to be known in history for, right?

...right?

* * *

 **So remember when I said I wanted to dedicate a chapter to every girl, and then said I didn't think it was going to be possible? Well too bad, I still think that(lol), but I will try my hardest to do so. Next up is Yuigahama, I have a whole thing planned for her, and will be a great entry into my next arc, the-**

 **Drum roll, please!**

 **-You got it! The Service Club!**

 ***confetti explosion***

 **Hope you guys didn't get too weirded out with the whole brother/sister thing, I know it's a very controversial topic; believe me, I re-did this scene about like... 5? times-ish? I think I found the perfect amount of humor, seriousness, and fluffiness with this version. My other ones focused too heavily on one of those three aspects. But I did say Haruno would be solidified as a romantic interest, so there's that. I'm looking at you LyingHikki.(kidding man, relax. xD)**

 **So that's Haruno and Yukinoshita, next up: Yuigahama! Then... I dunno, you guys can decide haha. Possible Kawasaki appearance due to the request of Pewdepew, what do you guys think? Should I add yet _another_ girl?**

 **Also I think it's r.i.p for Miura, there are tons of fics about her recently so I think I'll exclude her from being a romantic interest, not trying to hop on that hype-train (no offense).**

 **Again, hope you guys found this chapter enjoyable! I had a fun time writing it, almost as much as the original chapter 5 and first chapter!**

 **Until next time,**

 **-Ausko**


	6. The Cat, the Baker, and the Loner

**Happy Valentines day you beautiful, beautiful people! For those who condemn this holiday, uhh... Yeah, fuck pink, red, hearts and all that! Who needs an S/O when you have yourselves right?**

 **I will be busy for the day(wink wink), so I won't be able to respond to my reviewers, I'm very sorry; I'll get to you asap!**

 **Welcome new followers/favoriters! We finally hit the 90 follower milestone woo! And not to mention the reviews! 70+! Amazing!**

 **Side note, I decided to add Kawasaki; you're welcome Pewdepew this is for you. And with that Yuigahama's chapter has been delayed, sorry.**

 **Guest** **: Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck me! I can't believe I didn't see that! Thanks man, I know I can always count on you to be the passive-aggressive asshole you always are, haha. Unless you're not the right guest... That'd be pretty awkward.**

 **isorropa** **: Haha! You sly devil, making a anonymous review just to re-review it. Again, I don't condone double reviews but ehh, thanks anyways! Wow, really? That's uh... borderline obssesive, but hey; glad to see you following my story so enthusiastically! Yeah... I knew it'd be a hit or miss, at least the reception has been about 60/40; 60 in favor of Haruno. Shiromeguri, huh? Yeah I could probably make that happen. "I guess." What's with that passive-aggressive attitude there? xD**

 **Fanfic Critic** **: Hey man, sorry that you seem to find this fic boring, to each their own, right? But I do want to thank you for reading up to this point and for the review! I will agree with you, harem endings are rather unfulfilling; but I will have to disagree about the remark on people who do enjoy them. Haha, yeah okay, buddy lets dial it back a bit, yeah? I get that you might have some sort of OTP, or whatever but don't give me a ultimatum, that's just disrespectful and a bit annoying. Thanks for reading my story, but I won't beg you to continue reading it.**

 **Guest(2)** **: LMAO, I love you dude; alright first of all, lets delve into the whole age thing. Haruno is in her third year, yeah? People who're finishing high school can be 18, at least where I'm from. Let's say she wasn't even 18, she's still a teenager with a life. If you're talking about Hikigaya, I specified that he was learning. People drive around illegally no matter what country your in, I know I drove illegally to highschool when I got a car, so what? I think you're reading _way_ too much into it, man; it's a crack fic after all, haha. As for my 'jap' words, well... I would go into another spiel but this is an A/N; if you want to take up this conversation create an account and I will be happy to _humor_ you. Thanks for reading my story thus far, hope my 'wapanese'ness didn't deter you too much.**

 **...'wapanese' LMAOOO.**

 **God fucking damnit, guys, at least change your names from 'guest' xD**

 **Guest(3)** **: Yandere Harem...? I don't quite follow- OH, you mean the dream part? Yeah-no, those weren't actual representations with my characters, I was just having fun and trying to sneak some plot devices in there so I could make more scenes in the future; take that whole thing with a grain a salt. Actually better yet, take this whole fic with a grain of salt, haha. Thanks for the review, hope you continue to read my story!**

 **Wow, that was a lot... sorry guys; but on the flip side, thanks for all the reviews! Holy shit, haha.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU or anything related to it**

* * *

I glance lazily out the window, as I, once again, find myself on my way towards the circus called Sobu, whoever said that this was a prestigious school must've been talking absolute horse shit.

Learning of the supposed rumor surround Aneki and I, I decided it best not to be seen with one another, especially when entering the school. Of course Aneki fought me on the idea, but I eventually got her to agree with it, on the contingency that I'd arrive home at a certain time and spend the rest of the day with her. As we park the car in the student parking lot, Aneki give me a quick peck on the cheek and we continue to go our separate ways. She went towards the main gate, while I explored the back end of the school, near the abandoned building of my club.

As I was prowling the area searching for some sort of back entrance into the school, I couldn't help but notice a group of guys surrounding another, smaller, kid. I at first ignored them, I mean, it wasn't my busy if they wanted to do a shady deal, sell drugs, or just get into fight; whatever it was I wanted no part in it. I try to retrace the steps that Hiratsuka-sensei showed me when she first led me to the service club, where the fuck was the entrance to the school again?

"P-please! Help me!" I suddenly hear the kid surrounded by guys call out to me. I, again, ignore him; deal with your own problems, a few scuffles with bullies 'ought to build some character for you. I continue to search for the entrance, completely lost. I check the time and class was about to start in ten minutes or so. I heave out a heavy sigh, and walk towards the group of boys.

"Hey-," I start off casually.

"Fuck off."

"Yeah, can't you see we're busy here?"

"Oh my god, you're actually going to help me?"

"Quiet, punk."

My head follows each speaker as I answer each of them, "Likewise buddy. Obviously, I just wanted to ask a question, relax. No, you're on your own, why the hell would I help you? Yeah, what he said."

They all look at me curiously, and a bit confused trying to figure out who I was talking to in which context. I shake my head in exasperation. Again, whoever said Sobu was a prestigious school? Absolute horseshit.

I pinch my nose to stop the oncoming headache, "look class is about to start, right? Just show me the way to the nearest entrance and I'll be out of your guys' hair, literally do not care what you guys are doing."

"Y-you're just going to leave me here?!" The victim yells at me.

"O-oi, don't you guys think he'll get a teacher or something? He knows what we look like."

"Yeah, yeah good point."

Oh. My-

These kids can't actually be serious, can they?!

"Sorry, bud, but it looks like you've already seen too much."

I give them all a blank look, "you're actually being serious?"

I'm met with silence as the bigger guys all give me sinister smiles.

"Oh, my fucking-" I throw up my hands in exasperation, "this fucking kid knows what you look like, dumbass! What the hell is stopping him from saying anything? As for me, I could _not_ care less as to what you boys are doing, I just want to get to class!"

"Uh, huh, sure." I hear one of them respond boredly.

"Alright, y'know what? Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, and most of all fuck you." I say annoyed, before I walk away.

"W-why me?! I'm the victim here!"

"Then don't get caught next time! We wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for you!" I yell at him.

"He's got a point."

I let out a breath of annoyance, honestly, I just can't deal with stupid.

I suddenly feel an arm on my shoulder as I'm yanked back and thrown to the floor; oh okay. No, no it's cool, I like having all my stuff get dirt on it, real fun.

"Where the hell do you think you're going, punk?"

I slowly stand up and clap my hands together to rid itself of the dirt as I casually brush off most of the dirt stained on my uniform, "alright, hold on. Who the hell uses 'punk' anymore? That is _such_ an overused and cliche line; do you have no sense of creativity whatsoever?"

"I-I can be creative…"

"You're not even fucking named! You're literally on the proverbial chopping block, after this chapter no one's even going to remember who you are!"

The boy recoils in horror, falling to the floor slowly as the color drains from his whole body.

"And you-!" I point to the scrawny boy, "what the hell do you think you're doing? Don't you have legs? Make a run for it! They literally are just standing around you, kick them in shins or balls, I don't fucking know, nor do I _care_ , just do _something_!"

I see him slowly start to cry, "oh here we fucking go." I tone out in annoyance as I throw my hands up in the air.

"I'm outta here." I, again, try to make my way out of this disaster, but I'm, once again, thrown to the floor as someone forcefully shoves me from behind and I end up with even _more_ dirt on the my uniform.

"Are you fucking serious?!" I yell as I get up and turn towards them, except I see the 'victim' give me a harsh glare.

"You want me to do something?!" He yells to me, "well I did!"

"On _them_ you moron, do it on them! What the fuck did I ever do to you?!" I yell back.

"You hurt my feelings!"

"Oh for the love of-" I swear to god, anymore of this and I will actually go insane, literally fuck this school.

I let out a deep breath, and speak in a particularly slow manner for these kids. "Okay, let's try this one more _fucking_ time. I am leaving; I do not care about this or any of you. I am going to be late to class and my homeroom teacher is goddamn _sex offender._ Who knows what she'll do to if I'm late to class? So, again, leave me the _fuck_ alone, and we can all be on our merry way. Sound good?"

"Nope."

"Nah."

"Fuck you, buddy."

"I'm just here as an extra, I'm not actually supposed to think on my own."

"Alright that's it, I'm done with this." I say exasperatedly, looks like no matter where I go I always end up getting into fight with someone.

Before I can make my first move I sense a large object be thrown from behind me, I instantly duck as I see a black bookbag sail through the air, knocking one of the boys out cold.

Everyone present, including me look on in shock, before a shadow vaults over my crouched form and delivers a solid drop kick to the boy closest to me, before it recovers and sweeps the leg out from under the last boy followed by a swift axe kick. It finishes with a huff, before turning to the scrawny kid.

"Hey are you oka-" The figure tries to ask him, but I beat her to it with a solid gut punch as he doubles over and drops to his knees, coughing in pain.

"Alright, then. Uncalled for, but whatever." The newest member says monotonically , before turning to me. "Mind telling me why you just punched that scrawny boy who was obviously the victim here?"

"Instead of taking his anger out on them, he took it out on me. Hence my state of dress at this very moment." I casually explain, dusting myself off.

She, it was girl(surprise), gives me a questioning look, not really understanding what I meant, "he annoyed me." I elaborate.

Her mouth turns into an 'o' shape in silent understanding as she nods her head.

As she bends over to pick up her belongings, I get a full view of her undergarments as the girls' uniform included a skirt that was literally about three inches, like who even designs these things?

"Huh, black. And lace too." I tone out in wonder. Damn did she have nice legs, I couldn't help but stare.

"What?" I hear her ask as she turns around, finished grabbing her belongings.

"Nothing," I say casually, "anyways thanks for the… help, I guess."

She gives me a weird look, "I didn't do this for you, I was just testing how far I could throw my bag, you just happened to have a reaction quick enough to dodge it." Again, she speaks in a monotone-like voice.

"Right, no, of course, 'cause I'd know all of that from just this simple encounter." I say sarcastically.

"Well aren't you just a little bundle of joy?" She gives me a smirk.

"Look, after all the shit that I was just put through, you'd be surprised I didn't actually just kill myself right here and now." I say in exasperation.

She just raises her eyebrows at me, as I give her a blank look, "what?"

"You have really nice eyes, anyone ever tell you that?" She states in a blank tone.

I swear I could hear Yukinoshita yell 'told you!', but that was probably just my imagination

"And you're a fucking creep, bye now."

Nope, I am _not_ dealing with another girl. Nuh-uh, fuck that; just be an asshole to her Hachiman, girls don't like assholes, right?

"Wait." She calls out after, I ignore her.

She tries to grab my hand, but I twist out of her grasp and try to bend her arm around her in a reversal, but she was quick on her feet and mounts up the trunk of a tree next to us, as she flips behind me, forcing me to let go of her lest she twist my arm out of it's socket.

As she recovers from her landing, she quickly tries to sweep my legs but I simply just raise my most extended leg and back up a bit, avoiding it completely as I retaliate with a mid kick with the same raised leg. I put my hands in my pockets and retract my leg once she doges it, leaving it slightly raised with my body bent for an easier follow up.

She gives me a confused look, a small blush on her cheeks as she dodges to the side, still crouched from her extended leg sweep, "nice moves." She blankly states.

"Likewise." I call back before she stands up and gets into a proper fighting stance, as I keep my own.

 _ ***Ding, ding, ding***_

We both drop our stances as we look at each other blankly, realizing we were most likely late.

"Well, fuck me." I tone out in frustration

"I plan on it." I hear her comment.

"What?"

"What."

* * *

As we both walk into class, the small click-clacking of chalk stops and I see Hiratsuka-sensei shoot us both a glare. Most of class looks towards us, and I see Yato basically rip out his hair as he looks towards me, throwing his hands up in the air practically screaming ' _another_ girl?!'.

I see Yuigahama give me a small smile and a wave, before it falters slightly as she sees… what the hell was this girl's name anyways?

"You're late, Hikigaya, Kawasaki." Hiratsuka-sensei says in a strict tone, we both bow our heads and apologize.

"My bad, it won't happen again."

"My bad, I got caught up with something."

We both finish informally with varying degrees of sincerity. Hiratsuka-sensei just gives us an exasperated look before shaking her head, "take your seats, you're wasting my time."

"Hai." We both say, going to our seats. I never noticed she was in this class, how odd. I give her a quick glance as she rests her cheek on the knuckles of her hand, she returns my gaze with a raised eyebrow, before I turn back to the front of the room.

After about half an hour someone taps my shoulder and I look over, the boy quickly points towards Kawamaki and hands me a piece of paper.

I look at it suspiciously as I glance her way, who was making it way too obvious that she was trying to _not_ look my way, a small blush on her cheeks.

I slowly unfold the paper and see what's inside.

' _Where'd you learn all those moves?'_

I respond, writing underneath her message.

' _A senpai of mine, rather dangerous girl for her size.'_

I stare blankly at the piece of paper in front of me before crumpling it up and throwing it back to her, it sails through the room and dinks her in the head. She lets out a monotonic grunt as she picks it back up off the floor. She looks back to me in wonderment, before she scribbles something else down.

A few minutes later I get tapped on the shoulder again, I take the paper without even looking.

' _Neat. Mind showing me a few things? We can practice at my house; alone without clothes if you prefer.'_

Uhh…?

I see there was more written on the way down.

' _Or if you just want to have sex, that's cool too.'_

I instantly choke on my own spit as I read those words, everyone starts to look at me as I try to force myself to calm down, but I was actually fucking choking!

"Oi! Hikigaya, if you want to go ahead and die, by all means; but try do it where it _won't_ distract my class!"

"S-sorry, sensei, w-won't happen again." I wheeze out, going into another coughing fit

"Good! Now get the hell out and go drink some water."

Oi, oi, what the fuck are you? A tsundere? What happen to that go-lucky, playful attitude back in the club?!

I nod my head as I stand up, I look back to Kawajocki and I see her give me a wink, a small smile on her lips as she silently laughs at my expense; this woman! You did that on purpose didn't you?!

* * *

I make my way towards the nearest vending machine, as I shut the door behind me.

I enter a few bills and enter my selection as the my drink rattles down the vending machine, I pick it up and break the seal taking a long gulp, After the liquid clear my throat I let out a breath of content, nothing beats an ice-cold drink while being able to skip class. Maybe I should just stay out here.

I feel someone tap my shoulder and I turn around, "Yo."

I instantly back up a few steps as I almost drop my drink, "the fuck are you doing here, Kawacocki?

She raises her eyebrows at me, "Kawasaki; but I dunno, I was bored." She says in a blank tone.

"So you decided to follow me out here?" I ask suspiciously.

She gives a slight nod before sitting next to me on the stairs, "can I help you…?"

"What? Is it a crime to sit on these steps? I wasn't aware you own them." She comments.

"No, it's just common courtesy to y'know, take literally any of the other steps to be mindful of my personal space and avoid an awkward atmosphere?"

"Awkward? I don't feel awkward, if anything you're making it awkward by saying it's awkward."

I roll my eyes at her, "y'know what? You're right, forget I said anything."

She just gives me a triumphant grin, before she leans her back up against the wall that holds the railing, as she props her legs on my lap, crossing them over each other.

"Alright, now you're just being rude." I tone out casually.

"No, I'm just being comfortable." She responds in the same tone.

I sigh as I take another gulp of my drink, placing my elbows on my knee, over her gorgeous legs. "was there a reason you came out here, or do you just like to bother people you just met?"

"Just met? I'm your classmate, we met on the first day of school."

"You're being annoying, stop that."

She rolls her eyes at me, "no, I'm just right, you only find it annoying 'cause you hate being wrong."

Tch, well she wasn't _wrong_.

"You're not very good at making friends, are you?"

She scoffs, "and you are?"

Alright, I can't win with this girl.

I let out a pitiful sigh, I just can't catch a break with this school, huh? I hear Kawapocki give a soft laugh as I turn to her in my eyebrows raised.

I take this moment to actually take in her features, she was a bit taller than most girls; as she had long legs, well toned too. Her hair was what confused the most, it was put up in a long ponytail, not out of the ordinary, but her hair color was what baffled me. It was something akin to a cerulean blue, and I couldn't even see the roots of her original hair color, so did that mean she was born with this hair color? Maybe she had some variation of albinism? Her skin _was_ a bit pale, once I looked at it. As for her face, well… It wasn't ugly by any means, but she did seem to have a personal scowl, or just a blank face most of the time. The few times I did elicit a laugh from her showed a rather cute girl underneath that hard exterior. Her eyes were a pale color that I couldn't really make out, something like… lavender? Was that even a normal eye color?

"Is there something on my face?" She asks, once again in a blank tone.

"Nah, I was just checking you out." I answer honestly, she seemed the type of girl that didn't really care about what others thought, and I was too lazy to think of an excuse.

She raises her eyebrow, as she moves her legs around in my lap suggestively, "see something you like?"

I take another sip of my drink as I keeps my eyes forward, "not particularly, no."

This seems to make her falter as I see her blush, and pause a bit. Hoh~? Maybe blunt honesty is how to crack her shell.

I throw her legs off of me as I stand up, offering her a hand, "well, better to get back to class, I think we've wasted enough time; you coming?"

She just looks off to the side with her arms cross, "I can stand on my own."

I just roll my eyes at her and make my way towards class, not bothering to look back

* * *

The rest of class was rather uneventful as the bell chimes the signal of break. I stand up to leave the rather stuffy room and to get away my peers, it was only a matter of time before the rumor of me being Aneki's boyfriend reached the second years.

However, before I could make my great escape, I'm once again put into a headlock, "Oi, oi, where the hell do you think you're going Hikigaya?"

I let loose a sigh, "what do you want, Yato?"

He drags me over to his group of friends, as I see Yuigahama give me a small wave a bright smile on her face, honestly looking at a face like that could always brighten my day. Please marry me Yuigahama, I'll even learn to cook your favorite foods.

As he lets me go, I see little Ms. Antiosocial actually keep her distance from the group with headphones plugged into her phone as she quietly listens to it, looking out the window. See? Now _that's_ believable! She turns to look at me, noticing my gaze and holds up a peace sign and moves it in a single motion if waving toward me as a greeting. I return her half wave with a wave of my own.

"So, mind telling us who the newest catch is?" Yato asks out bitterly.

"Woah, Hikitani-kun, I didn't know you were such a ladies man! Give us some tips, broski!"

B-broski? What the fuck kind of acknowledgment is that?!

"Shut up," I say to the beta, as I turn back to Yato, "Her name is Kawa..pocki, Kawalocki, Kawasacki, Kawa-I-dont-fucking-know, she's in our class; which is surprising 'cause I thought you knew everyone, 'prince'."

He rolls his eyes at me, "I know her name, obviously. I was asking how you two met."

"Then specify your question…?"

He gives me a scowl, "jeez, you're even more of a dick than you usually are, what's up with the sourpuss attitude?"

I rub my temples in exasperation, "a lot of stupidity was thrown my way in the small amount of time I've been here, and honestly I'm this fucking close to snapping."

"Aww, are you feeling a little under the weather, Hikigaya-kun?" Yuigahama happily joins the conversation, "you know what makes me feel better? Food!"

I give her a curious glance, "yes, food does sound good right now, as I was just about to go the cafeteria to get a snack until I was rudely dragged here against my will." I glare at Yato, who just looks the other way and laughs nervously.

"Oh that's not a problem! Here, have some of my lunch!" She suddenly rummages through her bag and pulls out, not one, not two, not three, but _four_ bento boxes. And they weren't just any bento boxes, they were all _triple-stacked_ bento boxes meant for a three-course meal. I have flashes of the horror at the restaurant and I suddenly don't feel as hungry as I used to be.

"Y-you sure?" I ask inquisitively, "I know how much you… enjoy your meals."

She just nods her head enthusiastically, "here, say ahh~" She grabs a bit of her food from one of her various lunches.

"D-do I really have to?" I ask, a bit awkwardly as the some of the students start look our way, but I was blocking Yuigahama's sight of them as she had the window seat.

Her smile drops and she gives me a blank look, the vibrance in her eyes slowly fading away "say it."

Oi, oi, calm down there Trihexa, I didn't mean it!

"A-Ahh~..." I lamely tone out, as I see Yato cover his mouth to stop himself from laughing at my expense.

She instantly shove it in my mouth and I cough a bit from the forceful nature of her feeding. Are you trying to fucking kill me, woman?!

"It's not good to refuse a girl, Hikigaya-kun, some of us can get pretty scary~." She laughs, her bright and bubbly attitude coming back, "here, we can share this one."

She moves around the desks and sits on my lap, her legs in the outer aisle, while mine were under my desk. She faces the window as I face the front, and se holds the bento in her hand while I hold her back with my arms to support her. She turns her body slightly to face me, as she eats out of her bento, feeding me in various intervals.

I couldn't help but blush at the rather intimate experience we were sharing. Most of the class now looking on in wonderment as they all chat among themselves, some other boys and girls following our lead shortly.

Even though I found out that Yuigahama didn't do well with attention put on her, she seemed lost in her own little world as she happily ate her food and fed me at the same time. Her bubbly laugh and sweet scent put my mind in a false sense of security as I couldn't help but return her rather bright smile and laugh at a few of the topics and jokes she brought up.

I could feel a couple of jealous looks, especially from Yato who was practically foaming at the mouth by this point, but I didn't care. I was entranced by Yuigahama at this moment, and honestly; this is what I imagined having a girlfriend was like. If I were to be honest with myself, I wouldn't mind doing this at all with my actual girlfriend.

A few images of Yukinoshita doing the same pop into my mind, and I couldn't help but feel a little hot.

The same thing happens except this time it was Shiro-senpai, then Kaori next, until finally Haru-nee. I shake my head to rid myself of the thoughts and just focus my attention on the useless babble coming out of Yuigahama's mouth.

I feel myself get rather comfortable as I start to enjoy myself as Yato and his other friends finally join in with their own lunches and soon the island of desks put together was bustling with conversation as Yuigahama shared her enormous lunch with others' even kids who weren't sitting with us.

The rather annoyed feeling I had before, completely vanishing as I find myself talking to some of my peers I didn't know before and laughing along with them at a few conventions happening around the room; was this how it felt to be normal?

I soon find my thoughts wander back to Yukinoshita during a brief pause in the many conversations going on; how she didn't have any friends and wondering how she was holding up. Imagining her sitting by herself in that clubroom, suddenly I felt a bit guilty.

* * *

The rest of the day slowly dragged on, the break of today being the highlight of my day. With the amount I was enjoying myself at that time, everything else felt like an eternity; soon enough though, I found myself walking towards the clubroom.

As I go to slide the door open I couldn't help but notice a rather peculiar sound coming from beyond the door; shaking my head I slide the door open and enter.

"Yo." I casually call out, as I look around, it seems that we weren't alone, Yukinoshita and I.

"Onii-chan!" I hear the chibi-Yukinoshita call out. She instantly comes to bounding towards me in, what I assume, was supposed to be a hug. As she approaches me and throws herself I do a quick sidestep and she goes flying through the open door with a loud crash. Without sparing another glance, I slide the door shut with my foot and continue to lock the door.

I suddenly hear banging on the door, "hey! Open the door, Onii-chan, Yuki-nee!"

I glance to Yukinoshita as she rubs her temples in exasperation, "please let her back in, Hikigaya-kun, I know she may be handful, but she is my sister."

I nod wordlessly as I unlock the door and slide it open as she, apparently, tries to charge into the door with a shoulder check, and falls to the floor pathetically. I look at her with my eyebrows raised before taking a chair and placing it next to Yukinoshita, as she looks to me in surprise.

"Y-you're so mean Onii-chan!" I hear the younger Yukinoshita call out from the floor, "you didn't even try and help me up!"

She runs to her sister with tears in her eyes, as she clings to her side in a one-sided a hug, as I see Yukinoshita just stare off blankly, seemingly tired of her sister.

"Sorry," I casually say, "I have a sister, and I'm just used to treating her like… that."

"Meanie!" She pouts, "I take it back, you can't take date Yuki-nee!"

I continue to take out my phone as I scroll through a story I started up before, not really paying attention to her, "Uh-huh, too bad she's already dating me." I say casually.

"Eh?!" I see Komachi squeak out in surprise, as Yukinoshita continues to sit there rubbing her temples. "When was this?!"

"I dunno, ask your sister." I brush her off.

"Hikigaya-kun, I know that you may be lonely at times, but please refrain from including me in your delusions."

I see her sister gasp in shock as she looks to her sister, "Y-Yuki-nee! I haven't heard you talk like that in ages!"

She gives out a sigh, and I notice her cat ears and tail were missing, in fact there seemed to have rather large bags under her eyes and her hair wasn't as… vibrant or silky as it usually is. All in all, once I looked at her, she looked like complete shit; well, in Yukinoshita standards.

"Komachi, please, I know how much you care about me, but please go home. It is club hours, Hikigaya-kun and I have duties to attend to." She says out tiredly.

In other words, she was kicking her own sister out, "O-okay… I'll just meet up with Iroha-chan, make sure you come home at a reasonable time today!"

"Y-yes… I will keep the time of day in mind, do not worry."

"O-okay…" Komachi finishes sadly, letting go of her sister. I give her a wave without looking up from my phone and I eventually hear the door open, then close, followed by the sound of her footsteps growing softer and softer.

I hear Yukinoshita give a groan of discontent as her head slams rather loudly into the table.

O-oi… You didn't die on me did you?

I put my phone away for a moment, "well you've certainly looked better."

"Hikigaya-kun, please. I am not in the mood." She mumbles out, her face still planted in the table.

"R-right… mind giving me some context?"

She slowly raises her head, and rubs her eyes. "Sleepover, Komachi, Isshiki-san, no sleep."

She lets loose a loud yawn as she looks ahead of her blankly. I honestly never seen Yukinoshita so… broken. The night must've really taken it's toll on her.

"How about I go get you a drink? What would you like?"

She continues to stare ahead of her, "peach, please."

I look at her strangely before I make my way towards the nearest vending machine. After a few minutes I come back with some sort of peach juice-thing. I slide open the door quietly and close it.

I go over to the table and I see Yukinoshita's form sprawled over the table. I place the can of juice down and shake my head, she's gonna be sore when she wakes up if she stays like that. Honestly, it's like when I found Aneki fast asleep on her desk when she stayed up too long studying.

I slide my chair over towards her, and gently lift her upper body off the table and take lay her head on my shoulder. Her body slides a bit and she almost falls out of her chair, before I quickly catch her weight and slowly bring her down to rest her head on my lap. Making sure she was comfortable I take off my blazer and drape it across her body, keeping an eye out for any movement. She stirs a bit, getting more comfortable before she settles in.

I shake my head and give a soft smile, honestly she really did remind me of a cat.

Once I hear her soft breathing I settle in myself, as I take out my phone and continue to read the online fan-made fiction of some fandom.

After about twenty minutes I suddenly hear the door slide open and someone walks in, I wait for Yukinoshita to do whatever it was that needs to be done, but then I remember she was unconscious.

I quickly put my phone away and greet our guest, "welcome to the service club, where we…" I falter, "I actually don't really know what we do, but we're here to help… I think?"

"Hikigaya-kun?" I hear a rather bubbly voice call out.

I finally look to who it actually was, "Yuigahama?"

She gives me an awkward laugh, "haha… hey." She greets, "am I interrupting something?"

She glances off to the side in embarrassment, but still takes quick glances towards my lap. Why would she look towards my… oh. Right.

"N-nah… She's just having a rough day, don't mind her."

She enters the room, taking it all in like a child in wonder, before she eventually makes her way towards the middle of the room where standing a bit awkwardly as she fiddles with the hem of her skirt.

I look at her skeptically, "feel free to take a chair," I call out, "you're making me anxious."

She looks at me in surprise before nodding her head and drags a chair across from me and Yukinoshita.

A few more seconds of silence envelop the room, "so what're you here for exactly?"

"O-oh… well, I'm in need of a bit of help, and Hiratsuka-sensei said I should make my way towards this place; though she didn't really specify what I'd find there."

I sigh out, of course that woman was being elusive again, I honestly have no idea who thought it was a good idea for her to be our advisor.

"Well from what I've been told, we kind of just sit here until we get a request; which I'm guessing is what you have. Then we… fulfill it, I think. Whatever that means." I try to answer.

She nods her head in understanding, "okay... but who's 'we'?"

I quickly look to Yukinoshita as does Yuigahama, "well there's me, obviously;" I start, "and this little one is-"

"Please refrain from calling me 'little' Hikigaya-kun; that is rather insulting."

I suddenly hear Yukinoshita call out from my lap, before she slowly raises and rubs her eyes a bit, a blank look to her face. I catch the my blazer sliding off of her, and go to reach for the can of juice and break the seal; handing it to Yukinoshita.

She wordlessly accepts and starts drinking from it, a content sigh escaping her lips as she takes her first swig, before she cover her mouth in embarrassment. She casually brings it towards my face in a silent question, as I wordlessly accept it and drink from it as well before handing it back to her.

What? I _was_ rather thirsty.

"Peachy." I comment.

"Yes, it is rather refreshing, thank you for the drink." She responds

Throughout our whole exchange, Yuigahama looks at us in wild bewilderment and what seemed to be embarrassment; as both Yukinoshita and I return our looks to her, each of us raising an eyebrow at her. The three of us staying like that for a few moments.

"What?" I ask Yuigahama who just kept staring. She shakes herself out of her daze, "o-oh, nothing, you guys just seem to be really close is all."

We both look at her questioningly before turning towards each other and I shrug, while she nods slightly, "Something like that, yeah."

"He may come off as a hooligan, but he is rather sweet when he wants to be; though he _is_ in need of a major attitude adjustment."

I look back to her incredulously, "me? Attitude adjustment?"

She returns my gaze with a blank look, "that is what I said, yes."

"What about you! You change your damn attitude every other time we meet!"

She tilts her head to the side in questioning, "my point exactly!" I yell out, pointing to her.

"I don't see how I'm in need of an attitude adjustment," she casually responds, "I am a human being, not some automated robot; we act on impulse and, if you haven't noticed, don't follow a set of commands. I have various 'attitudes' depending on my mood, like anyone else."

"Okay," I relent, "but I can just use your same argument against you."

"Plagiarism is not only wrong, Hikigaya-kun, it is the signs of a rather lazy mind." She sighs as she goes back to rubbing her temples.

I am at loss for words, what happened to cute Yukinoshita? I know I complained about it before, but I would seriously rather be dealing with her cat tendencies rather than this icy attitude!

"You know, you were a lot cuter before." I lament.

I see her blush at my statement and she quickly goes to take a drink from her can.

"Wow, this club seems really fun." Yuigahama comments.

"A-anyway, Yuigahama-san was it?" Yukinoshita tries to start once again.

The bubbly girl nods her head in acknowledgment, "you can just call me Yui, though."

This is it! This is your chance to make a friend Yukinoshita! Go for it!

"No thank you, Yuigahama-san." I hear Yukinoshita tone out rather bitterly.

I instantly fall out of my chair, what the fuck?! Weren't you the one who had the whole spiel about making friends and being lonely?! This is your chance, and you just blew it!

"O-oh.. okay." Yuigahama responds a bit confused.

I lean to the side in order to whisper to Yukinoshita, "oi, that was your chance to make a friend, what's with the hostility?"

She responds in the same tone, "she reminds me of the girls from middle school, she reeks of desperation and attention."

O-oi, that was actually really, _really_ cold Yukinoshita! What the hell is wrong with you! Yuigahama is an angel! How dare you-!

"So, Yuigahama-san, you came here for a request, yes? Let's hear it."

She snaps out of her inner-monologue once the icy cat-girl speaks, "R-right, well.. It's a rather personal topic."

Yukinoshita gives her an inquisitive look, "alright...? I still don't understand where we come in."

"I want you to help conquer my Scopophobia!" She suddenly yells out.

"P-pardon?"

"I don't think we can cure your STD's Yuigahama, you might want to go to a gynecologist or something." I finally join in.

Both Yukinoshita and Yui smack their heads on the table, "I don't have an STD, Hikigaya-kun, gross! I'm still a virgin!"

Yukinoshita just slowly shakes her head in disappointment, heaving out a heavy sigh, "Scopophobia, Hikigaya-kun, the fear of receiving public attention."

It takes a while, but her words slowly sink in and my mouth makes an 'o' shape, "well now I just feel like an ass..."

"Ever since middle school, I always get really bad anxiety when a lot of attention is put on me; I-I didn't make many friends because of that.." Yuigahama tries to continue from her last point.

The time when we both arrived to class together flashing in my mind, and how freaked out she was.

"Yet you dyed your hair a rather obnoxious color, which, if you haven't noticed, will cause a lot of attention be put on you." Yukinoshita tones out coldly.

"R-right," Yuigahama responds, not entirely oblivious to the tone "I thought it'd help me stand out more, and with that I'd be able to get used to more attention put on me."

"And how'd that work out for you?" I try to recover some dignity.

"It… certainly brought more attention to me," she starts, "though not exactly with the good kind of intention, haha…" She ends with an awkward laugh.

I raise my eyebrows at her as I got to speak, but Yukinoshita beats me to the punch.

"And why is this your request?"

Yuigahama snaps out of her daze and looks to her in surprise, "eh?"

"The reasoning behind this," she elaborates, "we have the final say in whether we accept a request or decline; surely you have a reason for wanting to do this?"

The peach haired girl's face turns serious, "r-right! I'm actually a baker, of sorts. My mother runs a patisserie and I usually help out. I sometimes run the counter, but it gets really busy, especially around this time of year." She starts, "when it gets really hectic, and all these people are waiting on me, I can't help but get… anxious."

Her face drops a bit, "I really would like to help out my mother more, but I usually just get in the way."

I nod my head in understanding, true it did take a certain amount of social skills to work.

Finally Yukinoshita speaks up once again, losing the rather icy edge to her voice, "how very noble of you. However," her icy tone returns, "if you are a baker, why don't you just help out in making the pastries instead of running the front?"

She gives an awkward laugh as she rubs the back of her head, "I-I usually end up eating everything I make…"

Well that certainly did not come as a surprise to me. I see our resident ice queen sigh out and start rubbing her temples again, "what kind of baker can not refrain themselves from eating their own creations?"

"H-Hey! My pastries are really good, okay? I can't resist!" Our 'baker' yells back indignantly, "I even brought some with me!"

She rummages through her bottomless bag, didn't she hold four bento boxes in there? Where the hell did she put her books?!

Eventually she brings out a neatly wrapped package with an assortment of cookies in them, proudly showing them, "this is the kind of stuff my mother sells, this one especially I made myself!"

I give a curious glance, it seemed rather high-end and pretty expensive. The packaging was most definitely done by her, as it was very bubbly and cute. It was a small box with pink and brown vertical solid blocky stripes, a see-through top to see the actual cookies, a nice branding logo across the top and a neat bow-ribbon tying it together.

"Go ahead, try some!" She encourages.

I see Yukinoshita stare wide-eyed at the box before she instantly snatches it from my grasp and opens it very methodically. She takes one of the cookies, inspects it, smells it(you're not a damn cat!), before she takes a small nibble. She chews through it methodically, as me and Yuigahama lean in expectantly.

She stops chewing and swallows, I hear Yuigahama hold her breath as I do the same. I see Yukinoshita's eyes slowly dilate, before she pops the whole thing in her mouth. She suddenly turns away from us, and starts ravaging through the whole box as I hear indistinct and rather unladylike noises coming from her.

"O-oi! I want some too, Yukinoshita!" I go to grab her shoulder, at least share the damn box, woman!

As I force her to turn around, she gives an embarrassed and shocked look, as crumbs were all over face and clothes, her cheeks stuffed to the brim as they puff out.

I instantly hear Yuigahama burst out into laughter, as Yukinoshita's face turns even more red in her state of distress, I quickly look away from her to save some shred of dignity she may still have left and I see her turn back around, only this time she eats much slower and furiously wipes her face.

I slowly sit back down and look at the ceiling in embarrassment, not because I was embarrassed, no I was embarrassed _for_ Yukinoshita.

After a few minutes, Yuigahama recovers from her laughter and Yukinoshita seemed to satiate her hunger as she slowly turns back towards us and put the box back on the table, a single pastry sitting in it. She looks at me guiltily and in shame, her head lowering.

After a few silent moments our baker decides to speak up, "so what'd you think? You like them… uhh what was your name?" She asks out in a bubbly manner.

Our cat-girl slowly raises her head, a blush on her cheeks, "m-my name is Yukinoshita, Yukino; your sweets were… interesting to say the least."

"So interesting that you ravaged them like a man who hasn't eaten in five days? I didn't even get to eat any." I comment mockingly.

She shoots me a glare, "you know it is impolite watching a girl eat."

"There was nothing polite about the way you ate those things."

A blush flood her cheeks as she avoids my gaze, in which I just laugh before I brush some of the crumbs off her face. Honestly, aren't you the older sibling?

She recoils from me a bit, but I force her stand to still as she begrudgingly remains silent and sits there obediently, as I finish cleaning her up.

I look back to Yuigahama who stares at us in wonderment again.

"What?"I ask once again.

Seeing Yukinoshita reach for the last pastry, I go to slap her hand away but her cat-like reflexes were faster than me and she takes a bite out of it in triumph.

"Just a quick question," She starts, "are you his girlfriend?"

I instantly slam my head into the table as Yukinoshita drops the last pastry from her mouth in surprise.

"What the hell makes you think that?!"

"O-of course I am."

I look to Yukinoshita incredulously, "WHAT?!"

"Eh… So you really do have a girlfriend, huh?"

"No! She is not my girlfriend!"

Yukinoshita puts her hands in my face as she pushes me away, "do not mind him, he's just being dramatic. We are very close."

I smack her hands away from my face, "not close enough to be dating!"

"D-dating?" She squeaks out, "I never said we were dating!" she yells back.

"You literally just said you were you my girlfriend!" I argue.

"Yes Hikigaya-kun, I am a girl, who is your friend, a close friend at that. You even said so yourself." She says haughtily, "do not delude yourself, we are nothing more."

"You're actually being serious right now." I say as I throw my hands up, "you know that's not what she meant!"

"I don't know Hikigaya-kun, how do you know what I meant?"

"Thank you, Yuigahama-san."

"Wha-? But-! Oh forget it!"

Both the girls soon join in laughter as I just sit there with a pout, damn demon girls and they're stupid ass antics; not only is there one now, but-

"Oh wipe that look off your face Hikigaya-kun, it is unbecoming of you."

"Ahaha! This club really _is_ fun!" Yuigahama laughs out happily.

Kill me now; just end it.

* * *

 **Uh, maybe I should just stop talking about what I'm going to do for the next chapter; cause 9/10 times it doesn't happen. Kawasaki's appearance has put off Yuigahama's chapter so... sorry? But at least that means more chapters. Huh? Huh? *nudge, nudge* :D**

 **Anyways hope you guys have a lovely Valentines day, and for those who condemn this holiday; I hope you guys(girls included) buy a lots of chocolate that will be going on sale tomorrow, I know I won't!(literally hate chocolate.)**

 **Thanks for continuing to support my story and I really hope you guys are still enjoying youselves. Remember this is a crack fic, so take everything with a grain of salt, haha.**

 **Until next time,**

 **-Ausko**


	7. The Service(Drama) Club in Action

**Why hello, boys and girls! First I wanna say, holy frick frack; there was so many typos last chapter; I'm surprised no one has flamed me yet.**

 **I'm going to go ahead and apologize now, hope you guys don't start a riot(lol).**

 **Welcome new followers/favoriters and you fuckers who just scroll through this fandom 'cause you're bored. I know you're out there! I have a graph to prove it! 600 views(on average) per chapter and yet I have 90 follows, hmm... interesting.**

 **Haha, no I'm joking! Love all you guys, even those who're too shy to try a reach out to me or are just too lazy to make an acc and/or login. Thanks for the tremendous amount reviews, you guys!**

 **Oh... great, more 'guest' reviews with the _same fucking name_. Come on guys, I can't be the sarcastic asshole I usually am if I don't know who I'm replying to xD (I don't want to offend anyone)**

 **Guest** **: Hey thanks or the review! Glad that you found it funny!**

 **Guest(2/3[?])** **: Haha, well eveyone's entitled to their opinion; I don't mind when people are negative, I'm just happy their being honest. But again, ultimatums? Annoying as frick, like what the frack. Haha! This is precisely why I want you fuckers to name yourselves, because I will call you out(out of love of course), if you're just spouting bullshit or trying to flame.** **I'm guessing you're the 'your back what, me' guest. Fucking dick head, that was probably my favorite review, literally had me rollin' xD**

 **I'm gonna take a wild guess and say your the following review 'cause it started with 'also' and 'sounds' the same. HAHA! If I wanted to troll my audience (which is tempting, you're right), then I'd pair him with Hayama, that'd be the biggest 'fuck you' ever.** **BUT I WON'T 'CAUSE I LOVE YOU GUYS(no seriously, I was kidding, relax).**

 **Yandere-Hater-Guest** **:** _**Before you guys flame me, he made the name himself** **.**_ **Ah... Okay, true you have a point. But they weren't** ** _really_ trying to kill him, it was more for just humor. But Kaori? Well I went with the cliche psycho ex-GF trope, so she's probably the most yandere out of all them(she isn't supposed to be yandere at all). Haha! It's cute that you think there are 'sane' girls(whoa relax there, I jest, I jest), all girls are psycho in their own way; some are just better at hiding it than others. And psycho/crazy is dependent on the judge anyways. A girl who wants to rip your dick off and eat it for breakfast could be psycho to you, but a turn on for others(I really hope not).**

 **Guest(4)** **:** **Haha, hey thanks for the review and compliment, man. I'm glad to see you enjoying my twist on the cast. WHOA, WHOA; look I get that people can be dickheads at times, but everyone is entitled to their own opinions; no need to be hostile towards him, haha.**

 **Pewdepew** **: Wow that sucks; regardless thanks for another review! I'm glad that you enjoyed that chapter, especially Kawasaki. I mean I** ** _did_ add her for you(you were the first the suggest it, haha), so it makes me happy that you have at least enjoyed the small snippit of her. I honestly haven't thought her out fully like my other characters, so I may have trouble fitting into some scenes, but I'll try my best!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own My Teen Romantic Comedy or anything related to it.**

* * *

As both the demon-girls get over their amusement at my expense, we finally get back on track.

"Although I do not exactly know how we can help you," Yukinoshita starts, "we, the service club, hereby accept your request."

Yuigahama just gives a bright smile while clapping her hands together in excitement, "thank you guys so much!" And with that, she goes in for a hug, bringing me and Yukinoshita rather close, as she embraces us both, reaching across the table.

I glance to the side, and I see Yukinoshita do the same, a definite redness to her cheeks; as soon as we make eye contact, she quickly averts her gaze as I do the same.

"A-alright, Yuigahama-san, that is enough; please unhand me." Yukinoshita squeaks after a few moments as Yuigahama jostles us in her grasp. She lets go and gives a cute, but awkward laugh.

"Eheh~, sorry about that; I just get excited easily."

I see Yukinoshita smooth her uniform out and leans back into her chair, coughing a bit, "well then, let's get started shall we?"

"Eh?!" Yuigahama tones out.

"Why do I feel like I'm going to regret this?" I sigh in exasperation.

I see the cat-girl give me a devilish smirk, "who knows?"

* * *

"P-Please go out with me Hikigaya-kun." I see Yuigahama shrink herself a bit, as she nervously wraps her hands around each other as a spastic cycle of her left gripping her right, then vice versa. She keeps her gaze focused on me, as I find it very hard to maintain it.

I clear my throat a bit, as my cheeks heat up a bit, "I-I'm sorry, I don't think it'd work out between us." I formally respond

She gets a downcast look in her eyes, as her head lowers a bit a blush still visible on her cheeks, "I see, then… how about a kiss?"

I step back a bit, "what?"

She raises her head, a determined look in her eyes, "I've built up the courage to finally confess to you, and yet you still you deny me; please at least let me have this." She takes a step closer to me, still holding my gaze.

I feel my face flush even more, "A-alright, just this one ti- WHAT FUCK ARE WE DOING, YUKINOSHITA?!"

I suddenly yell out, breaking character; I was seriously struggling back there! Anymore and I would've actually gone in for the kiss!

I hear our resident ice queen sigh out in annoyance, "what seems to be the problem _now_ , Hikigaya-kun."

I turn to Yukinoshita who somehow found some kind of baseball cap with the words 'director' across it and a foldable bar-height director's chair; y'know like the ones you see in the movies? How the hell do you even find these things?! We're not filming a fucking movie woman! This isn't the drama club!

"This!" I yell as I motion my hands to… all of this. "How the hell is this supposed to help conquer her fears?!"

I look to Yuigahama who still had a noticeable blush on her cheeks, as she turn away slightly.

"It is to build courage." Yukinoshita starts to explain, "if she can build up enough courage to confess to a guy, much less someone as intimidating as yourself, that should be an accelerant to get over her fears."

"But this is staged! Nothing about this is going to help if it isn't real!" I argue.

Yukinoshita raises her eyebrow as if pondering to herself, "true…" She tones out silently.

She suddenly stands up and claps her hands together, "then we shall do this in a public setting! Come, Yuigahama-san, Hikigaya-kun we have much work to do!"

She makes her way towards the door, as she happily skips away from us; I shake my head in exasperation. This girl was enjoying this _way_ too much. For the past hour or so, Yuigahama and I were part of various skits ranging from confessions, to wedding vows, to full blown arguments. Needless to say, it was rather embarrassing and super draining. It isn't healthy to toy with my emotions!

She stop as she reaches the door, "well? Come on! We are wasting precious daylight!"

Oi! You're not seriously going out in public looking like that, are you?!

She continues to wave us over, ushering us to hurry up. I let out a defeated sigh and hang my head, this is going to be a _long_ day.

I feel Yuigahama fall in step beside me and I raise my head to look at her, "I'm sorry about all of this, I didn't think she'd get this… obsessive."

As I look to our baker, she just gives me a small smile, and waves me off with a laugh, "it's fine, Hikigaya-kun, even though it is a bit embarrassing and tiresome; I'm glad it was with you out of all people."

I feel my cheeks get set aflame once again, as I see her cheeks start to redden too. Oi, oi! Keep this up and I really will fall for you, woman!

"What is taking so long?!" I hear Yukinoshita yell out from the hallway, "time is of the essence!"

I give another sigh, as I close the door behind me, locking it and I feel Yuigahama tug my sleeve a bit.

"I-I'm actually having a lot fun too, so… thank you. I really appreciate you two trying to help me."

As she finishes her statement, she quickly turns away and runs towards Yukinoshita, "hey, wait for me! What're you going to do without your star actress?"

I see the two girls suddenly engage in a meaningful conversation as their excited chatter fills the empty hallways and their laughter sets me at ease. I laugh a bit to myself and shake my head, as I trail behind them.

I guess this club isn't so bad.

* * *

The three of us soon make our way towards a rather bustling and popular cafe among our age group. It was a rather quaint-looking place, and bigger than most other cafes you'd find in the area. As we all make our way inside, I'm instantly assaulted with the smell of fresh roasted coffee and various pastries and sweets. I feel myself get a bit hungry as my stomach rumbles a bit; when was the last time I ate anyways?

I look to my 'clubmates' as they seem to have the same thing going through their heads. I take the initiative and take an empty table, "you guys want anything? My treat, I'm rather hungry so I'll be getting something for myself."

Both girls soon follow and sit next to each other, sitting across from me, both giving me uneasy glances, "well… If you insist." I hear Yuigahama tone out awkwardly as she rubs the back of her head.

I instantly give her a hard look, "you're limited to one beverage and two desserts, anything more and you're paying for it yourself."

I see her head droop a bit, "o-okay…"

Yukinoshita just gives us a weird look and shoots me a small glare, what? I have other friends beside you, y'know.

"Just tea for me please, earl grey if they have it." Why am I not surprised?

I nod my head, "you sure you don't want any sweets as you sit there and… 'evaluate' our performance?"

She gives a thoughtful look, "I-I guess an assortment of cookies wouldn't hurt…"

"And for you?" I get Yuigahama's attention once again,

"Uh… something sweet to drink and a strawberry shortcake?"

I nod once again and I leave the two girls to their devices as I make way to the front and put in my orders, but then stop and retrace my steps.

"Wait, you mean a slice of strawberry cake, right?" I ask Yuigahama just to make sure.

"Uh.. y-yeah, sure." She answers.

I just shake my head, guess I'm ordering two slices then; and I eventually make my way towards the front, getting in line. A few minutes pass by and I was finally able to place my order.

"How're you doing today? What can I get for you?"

As I go to recite my order, I look back up to cashier, before he interrupts me, "hey do I know you?"

"Uh…?" I just give him a confused look; I take a quick glance behind me to see if he was talking to someone else.

"No, no, I most definitely know you!" He calls to me once again, "you used to go to Kaihin Sougu high school, right?"

"Yeah, I did actually." I answer honestly, "what of it?"

He turns around and speaks to his coworkers, completely deserting his station. What the hell was it with cafes and their workers? Who even hires these kids?

"Hey, Oriomoto! It's Hikigaya!" I hear the cashier yell out in the distance.

"Hikigaya..? Hachiman?!" I hear another voice call back.

I smack my head onto the counter repeatedly until I was sure I was bleeding; what are the chances of her working her? Like, let's be real here. I just so happen to go out on some random day to do some random activity at some random cafe and it just so happens that she works here?! My life is fucking staged!

I see Kaori come storming up to the cash register, slightly out of breath and a wild look in her eyes. She was wearing her work uniform and her hair was done in a loose up-do as she wore a cap with the company's logo on it, her hair falling slightly around her face, as the bulk of it was put through the small opening between the actual hat and adjustment strap. I've honestly never seen her hair in any other style since I've known her; I had to admit, she looked pretty cute in her uniform.

"Yo." I casually greet.

"H-hey, Hachiman, what brings you here?" She answers a bit too nonchalantly. Keep that up and people are going to start seeing you as desperate.

"I dunno, just here with some clubmates; little group activity going on… of sorts." I hesitantly say as I realize that she'd actually be working while Yuigahama and I did our little skit.

Her face hardens as she hears the word 'clubmates' and a scowl comes across her face, "don't you mean your _girlfriend_ , Hachiman? Or is this another clubmate I don't know about?" She bitterly tones out.

I just stare at her blankly, why the fuck do you sound like a jealous girlfriend? You were the one who rejected me!

I go to deny the whole 'girlfriend' thing, saying that it was just an on-the-spot thing to get her friend to stop bugging me; but then a certain conversation flashes through my mind.

' _I am a girl, who is your friend. A close one at that.'_

' _Do not delude yourself, we are nothing more.'_

"Yeah… something like that."

She instantly recoils a bit, probably surprised to me admitting it, as the scowl sticks to her face, "'Yeah'? 'Yeah' to which part?"

"I dunno figure it out yourself."

"Ugh!" She suddenly starts stomping away in the cute manner she always does, and I couldn't help but chuckle to myself.

"Hey, what about my order? What kind of service is this?" I jokingly call out after her, before she turns around and glares at me.

"'I dunno, figure it out yourself', dick!" She yells back, mocking me in the some heavily disfigured and lowered version of her voice. Oi, oi, where's your professionalism Kaori? You could get fired or something, y'know?

I hear my original cashier just chuckle awkwardly as he's been standing there listening to our exchange in silent amusement.

"So about that order…" He tries to start off again. Oh no you don't, now it's my turn.

"How exactly did you know me? Most people don't even remember me or know that I even went to Kaihin."

Catching him off-guard, he gives me a shocked look, "Haha, well…" He begins to trail off.

"What?" I blankly state.

"I-I actually know of your expulsion, actually most of the current second years know of you and Oriomoto-san; sorry about that by the way." He adds on quickly.

I raise my eyebrows at him, "well, that's all in the past now. It'd be better to just forget about it."

He suddenly reaches across the counter grabbing my hand, into his. Oi, what the fuck are doing?!

"No, no! I actually look up to you, Hikigaya! Most guys don't bother Orimoto as much anymore, and she's still popular as ever, maybe even more so."

I falter a bit, after Kaori and I had a bit of falling out, most of the guys at school got a bit… rowdy; needless to say the following few weeks are what lead me to getting expelled.

"I-is that so…" I comment a bit awkwardly. "Can you let go of my hands? I'm actually into girls."

He quickly retracts his hands from mine, "w-wait! I didn't mean-"

I quickly hold up my hands, "nah its cool, I don't mind; I just don't share the same interests, though-"

"But-!"

"-I do know of a guy who's in desperate need of some companionship though, I'll be sure to send him your way; his name's Hayama, Hayato, by the way."

I see the cashier just drop his head as tears stream down his face; he must be so happy!

"S-so what was your order again?" He tones out depressed.

He's probably just shy.

* * *

As I wait for my order, I walk towards my clubmates but see them chatting away happily, or… more like Yuigahama was chatting happily while Yukinoshita sat there and tried to keep up with the useless babble that was coming out of the baker's mouth in her rather tired state. Not wanting to infringe on their 'girl time', and wanting Yukinoshita to have a chance at making friends other than me, I go to find another one of the various lounging spots. Exploring the area I find myself making my way towards the upper floor. Honestly it wasn't a whole floor it was just a raised platform that extended out, overlooking the rest of the cafe. It was similar to an oversized balcony. I look around and se various patrons finding themselves comfortable in the various furniture; all minding their own business.

"Ahem~" I hear a small noise, what the hell was that?

"Ahem, AHEM, AHEFWGIHA!" I hear someone trying to clear their throat rather obnoxiously.

I slowly turn to look around and see a rather peculiar sight. A rather attractive girl was sitting by herself with a laptop, seemingly working on… something. She had headphones in and her face a bit obscured by a stylish dad cap that seemed to be pulled down a bit; shadowing her face. Dirty blonde hair with brighter highlights cascading around her face as they curled at the ends. She was seemingly trying to be incognito, but I caught her rather vibrant verdant colored eyes as she looked curiously at me. Did she always dress that nice?

As she notices me catching her gaze, she blushes slightly before giving me her usual two-fingered wave in the form of a peace sign.

I walk over to her as she raises her eyebrows at me, I motion towards the seat across from her in a silent question. She nods slightly and I take the seat. I Find myself at a small table only meant for two propped against the railing of the overhang. I look out and spot the my clubmates still going at it; at least they seem to be enjoying themselves.

I look back to Ms. Antisocial, and she turns her attention back to her laptop once our gazes meet, "so… fancy meeting you here."

She raises her eyebrows at me, pulling out her headphones, "mm." She grunts out.

A few more seconds of silence pass between us, "what'cha workin on over there?"

She turns her attention back to me, "...nothing much."

I nod my head as I see her go back to typing away on her laptop.

…

Solid.

Well on the bright side, she's probably the _most_ sane girl I've actually ever talked to yet, so silver lining; though I guess… we didn't actually talk much. Honestly I was at a loss as to what to do.

"Order for Hikigaya?" I hear one of the employees shout out from behind the counter, a few ways down.

"Well, that's my cue; see ya 'round."

I see her look up instantly as she raises her hand towards me; I look at her in a confused manner before she retracts her arm and just silently nods. She goes back to typing away on her laptop and puts her headphones back in, the small blush still on her cheeks.

* * *

I see Yukinoshita stare blankly in front of her as she rubs her temples, Yuigahama still talking her ear off, laughing every now and again. As I make my way towards them I see Yukinoshita instantly perk up a delighted look gracing her features, "oh thank god you're here, Hikigaya-kun, what took so long!"

I raise my hands in defense, "alright, whoa there, I got your damn food, don't worry."

She instantly runs up to me grabbing my arm and pulls me towards her and leans into my ear, "leave me alone with that girl one more time and I swear I'll force you to do these skits everyday!" She hisses in my ear, making sure our baker wasn't able to hear us. "With me, at that!" She adds on.

I actually take a moment to think about doing the skits with Yukinoshita; imagining her confessing to me and all that, I couldn't help but blush a bit. She instantly glares at me and lightly smacks my shoulder, "wipe that perverted look off of your face!" She hisses again.

"Whatch'a guys talkin' 'bout?" I instantly hear a third voice whisper into my ear.

What the fuck?!

"Yuigahama-san!" Our cat-girl squeaks out.

"Eheh~, sorry, sorry. You guys seemed to be having fun, so I thought I'd join in too."

…

I look over to see Yukinoshita shoot me a quick glare, before she flips her hair over her shoulder and walks back to her seat, an air of annoyance surrounding her as she crosses her arms; a rather repulsive aura coming off of her.

As the three of us settle in and finish eating our foods, it was finally 'showtime' as Yukinoshita called it. This time our skit was of a couple getting into a fight and to end in either a breakup or makeup, whichever our improv got us to. Honestly I was a bit nervous and I could tell that Yuigahama was too.

"You sure about this?" I ask Yukinoshita who just sat there with the 'directors' cap still on, and just waves me off.

"This is an exercise Hikigaya-kun, and more importantly a request that we have accepted. If not for me, do it for Yuigahama-san's sake."

I just let out a sigh, "so, you ready?"

Yuigahama lets out a pitiful laugh, "I-I guess."

I remember how freaked out she was during that one time we entered class together, and she didn't seem to be faring any better at this moment. Who knows how bad it'll be when actual attention was put on her?

"Maybe this isn't such a good idea, Yukinoshita." I comment doubtfully, before turning back to the peach haired girl. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to, Yuigahama."

Yukinoshita hums in thought, "alright, fine. We will leave it up to Yuigahama-san; if she refuses we would have wasted our time and we can call it a night."

Oi, what's up with that passive-aggressive attitude?

"N-no, I think I'll be fine. I need to be more courageous!" The baker yells out in determination. "Then I can finally stop being a burden..."

I just slightly shake my head, "alright, if you say so."

"Then, let's get started!" Yukinoshita yells in excitement.

* * *

"Wait!" I yell out, "please wait, Yui." Both Yuigahama and I enter through the front door, my loud voice catching the attention of most of the patrons within earshot. I see Yukinoshita sitting at our original seat, giving us a look of encouragement.

I go to grab her hand, but she rips it away from my gasp, "what? What do you want, Hikki?"

To make it more believable, Yukinoshita said to make up nicknames for each other as a sort of 'stage name'; reinforcing the idea that we were supposed to be a couple. Arguing that I'd probably never call Yuigahama by her first name, Yukinoshita let my 'stage name' for her slide. As for Yuigahama, she thought of… well, you get it.

Who's 'you', again?

Shut up, me.

Alright, fuck. I thought I was supposed to be the dick.

"Look, I just want to talk, alright?" I softly call out to her. She stops mid-step and slightly turns towards me.

"Talk? There's nothing to talk about." She answers me back with a hostile tone. By this time, even the people in line had stopped their conventions and turned towards us in curiosity.

"There is something to talk about, us!" I exaggerate, "how are we going to sort anything out if we don't talk?"

"Us?" She parrots, "oh that's rich coming from you."

"Come on, Yui; don't be like that." I try to reason.

She just turns and walks off, as I follow her deeper into the cafe, garnering a larger audience as more and more people start paying attention to us, some even moving with us.

"Just leave me alone, okay? There is nothing more to discuss." She tries to shake me, but we both stop in the main lounging area where most of the patrons were gathered, a few on the overhang even crowding onto the railing as they look over to us in morbid curiosity. I quickly scan the area and see that even the workers were looking at us and I especially see Kaori come and watch in fascination, giving me a smug look.

I finally grab her hand and force her to turn to me, she has a rather scared look in her eyes once or gazes meet. I guess she seemed to of finally realized all of the attention on us. As I grab her hand to make her turn around, I feel her hand instinctively squeeze my hand; I give her a subtle nod and give a reaffirming squeeze back.

"I know that we are in a rather… difficult position; I was wrong." I falter a bit, also feeling all the gazes on me, "but I can't do this alone, I need you. Please, forgive me."

She nervously glances around her and I see her start to shrink into herself, a wild look to her eyes as her eyes wildly dart around. People start whispering and I see Yukinoshita quickly stand up in worry. I give her a reassuring look before turning back to Yuigahama and take a step closer to her.

"I-I'm scared…" She quietly squeaks out. I honestly wasn't sure if she was saying that as Yuigahama or as 'Yui'.

"S-so am I," I say truthfully, "but I know we can get through this together."

Her grip on my hand tightens even more as she also takes a step closer to me, "I-I'm scared to get hurt again."

"I know…" I try to reassure, "and I'm sorry; really I am."

The distances closes even closer between us; as I see all the patrons lean in in anticipation; I even see Yukinoshita look at us wide-eyed, a hand covering her mouth slightly, almost as if she was ready to bolt to us.

Yuigahama tears her gaze away from mine, as her hair covers her eyes, "how do I know, you're not lying? How do I know I just won't be hurt again? To find ourselves in the same predicament we are now down the road?"

I see most of the female patrons nod in approval, seemingly agreeing with her as some of them glare at their significant other.

"I-I can't promise you anything." I say affirmatively, "you'll just have to take it on faith and trust me."

A few seconds of silence pass, the audience even holding their breath, "do you trust me, Yui?"

She suddenly looks up at me, yelling, "how could I?!"

Her voice was full of hatred and hostility, but her face was scared and even a few tears were beginning to form in the corner of her eyes, "I trusted you before! And look where we are now!"

I could feel many glares be directed towards me, as others looked on in sympathy, some even having the courage to speak out.

"Yeah you tell him girl!"

"You don't need that asshole, dump him!"

"All guys are the same, no matter what age it seems…"

"Hey give him a chance, he seems sincere."

"Go for it man! Get her back!"

"Aren't they just adorable together?"

"No relationship is perfect, at least they're willing to listen to each other; that's more than I could say."

All the voices soon overlap each other and I see Yuigahama get her frightened look again, as her eyes dart around wildly. She steps away from me as if she was ready to make a run for it.

"Because I love you!" I yell out, silencing the whole crowd.

I instantly bring her into my arms, as she awkwardly stumbles into me. Both of her hands were pressed against my chest, as I wrap my arms around her; she seemed pretty freaked and squirmed a bit before she stops and settles in.

"I love you," I tone out quietly once again, but loud enough for the audience to hear, "please just give me one more chance…" I avoid all the looks I was receiving, honestly this was super embarrassing, anymore of this and I might just commit suicide.

With the close proximity I lean down and whisper into her ear, "hey you okay? you're doing great, at least this time you didn't freeze up or try to run away, right?"

She pushes herself even more into me, whispering back to me, "thank you… I'm actually terrified right now." She laughs a bit, "even though I don't actually think this will let me overcome my fears, I do think it helped me gain a bit of courage."

I could literally feel her shaking in my arms, poor girl.

The audience just sits in silent shock as we have our personal conversation. Yuigahama quickly wipes the tears forming in her eyes as she backs up away from me, a bright smile on her face and takes a deep breath before she goes in for a kiss.

I feel her soft lips press against mine rather forcefully and I was left with a sweet aroma surrounding my senses.

…

WHAAAAT?!

"Oi! What the fuck?! So you really were dating your clubmate Hachiman?!"

"C-calm down Orimoto! You're still on the clock!

"They kissed! Oh my god they kissed!"

"Aww isn't that just adorable?!"

"Ahh young love, what I'd do to experience that again…"

"Woo! Hell yeah, man!"

"Go get him girl! You show him who's in charge!"

"So they made up…? Lame, I was waiting for some saucy drama."

I instantly hear someone run up beside us, but I was too dazed to register who it was. I see Yuigahama step a bit away from me as a blush instantly floods her cheeks a rather bashful look on her face as she avoids eye contact. I also feel my face get set aflame as I glance off the side. I soon feel her lean into my ear again as she whispers, "the courage to do that, at least, 'Hikki'." Finishing with a wink.

"Hikigaya-kun, Yuigahama-san, what is the meaning of this?!" I slowly turn to see Yukinoshita beside us as she throws her cap to the ground, a look of rage in her eyes and an irate aura surrounding her.

I look around and see the audience go into another uproar.

"Hey you think that's the girl he cheated on her with?"

"Whoa! Those two are total babes, what a lucky bastard!"

"Well I see why he cheated on her, _goddamn_."

"Now this is what I was waiting for, someone get me some popcorn."

"I still think the peach-haired girl is more pretty."

"I'd take boobs over ass any day."

"Oi! Have you no shame?!"

I quickly brush past Yuigahama and Yukinoshita trying to calm down the crowd before this get's out of hand. I take a deep bow, "Thank you all, ladies and gentlemen!"

I start, as the audience quiets down, shutting each other up, "I'm glad you enjoyed our skit! I am Hikigaya, Hachiman and this is my lead, Yuigahama, Yui." I point to her respectively before I motion to Yukinoshita, "and this is our club president, Yukinoshita, Yukino. We are part of… a drama club at Sobu high school. This was just an exercise for our acting career; I thank you for your time and hope you have a wonderful night!"

I see the audience look at me skeptically, before I motion towards the two girls to help me out; they snap out of their daze and come flanking me on either side. I take each of their hands in one of mine respectively and we do a choreographed bow.

The audience immediately reacts in applause and soon enough continue onto their own devices ignoring the three of us. As I go to let both girls hands, they both seemed hell bent on holding mine. After we make our ways away from the crow I look to Yukinoshita as she gives me a look that'd freeze hell over; I could practically feel the discontent radiating off of her.

"What the hell was that?" She asks quietly, in a voice void of emotion. Honestly, I've never heard Yukinoshita swear, and that could _not_ be a good sign.

...

Well, shit.

* * *

 **WELP; what's done is done. This was for the Yuigahama lovers; honestly I feel like she has the least amount of backing in this fandom. Like I honestly think that Isshiki beats her in popularity; I'd even go as far as to say Miura does too.**

 **Also, thanks to Mokkel, I will be retracting my statement about Miura; honestly I haven't been keeping up on what's being published, and he was right. There aren't _that_ many Miura fics out there(at the moment), or at least not as much as I made it out to be. I just remembered reading a lot of them back to back when I did check what was being published; again, I will retract my statement and I apologize for my ignorance. Miura will now be a potential romantic interest for Hikigaya, if enough people want to see her. She is starting to become the next Shiromeguri.**

 **Sorry if it was a bit short, I struggled a bit with this chapter to be completely honest.**

 **Again, thank you all so much for continuing to support this story; it has literally exploded in popularity ever since chapter 5(new), and it's all thanks to you fuckers who've been reading since before the revision; thank god you guys talked me out of chapter 6(old). I love you guys!**

 **Until next time,**

 **-Ausko**

 **P.S**

 **I did a small revision to the conversation between the service club last chapter, you can check that out if your bored waiting for the next update.**


	8. A Question of Friendship

**Hey, long time no see, huh? I mean I can give you excuses but who cares right? At least I didn't take a month, haha...ha...ha. No really; I thought about it(lol).**

 **Anyways, I'd like to thank all the new followers/favoriters, over one-fucking-hundred! *Ahem* WOOOO FUCK YEAH! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!**

 **Moving on, I also broke the 100 review milestone and am currently on the the third page of most reviewed stories.(yes I check and do care about things like this.) *starts foaming from the mouth*; no seriously you guys some sexy fothermuckers; I'd take all of you guys out to dinner if I could.**

 **Shout-out to Predator7 for giving me the idea of Yukinoshita sleeping; even though I butchered your original idea, haha.**

 **Guest** **: Hey thanks for the review! Indeed Yukinoshita is best grill, I'm pretty sure you can tell what I think from this story anyways, haha. Yes, I thought the same; but if people want to see her she's now available as of this chapter.**

 **Pinkorangepurple : Hey; long time no see! Haha, it may seem like a Harem at the moment I will admit; but it will have a definitive pairing at the end. Uh... lemon? What hell is a lemon? You mean like the frui- OH, OH you mean sex(is that what people call it?)? Yeah... nah. At least nothing graphic; depending on who the pairing is there may or may not be sex; however even if there is it will just be mentioned, not explained. I will not change the rating to M nor will I be posting anything graphic.**

 **Guest(2) : Hello there, thanks for the review! Uh... not that I don't appreciate the thought; it's actually pretty damn good and would most definitely fit into the story, no to mention funny. I just don't really feel like writing Totsuka to be completely honest, haha. I have enough characters to keep track of and try to make scenes for. True it'd be a great way to include Hayama more but... eh. I'll keep it in mind and will credit you if I do use it, but I don't plan on it, haha. Thanks for the idea though!**

 **Fanfic Critic : OH. MY. GOD; welcome back! I knew I'd find you around here. Don't worry we can keep this between us; you may be embarrassed to read this story in public or admit that you do; just like how most people are too embarrassed to admit they like... I actually don't have a good analogy. WAIT! I got it! Like how some people are embarrassed to admit they watch HS DxD. You know its bad for you, but you can't help but indulge every once in a while; don't worry though I got you covered.**

 **...**

 **Well that was certainly an image I didn't want popping into my head; but I'll take that as a compliment.**

 **Fanfic Critic(2) : Alright whoa there; no need to belittle yourself. Where the hell did that even come from?**

 **hre : Haha! Yeah alright fuck you too dude. Kidding kidding; thanks for the review man. Good news, I have updated, hope you enjoy the chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU or anything related to it.**

* * *

After our little 'skit', we made our ways back to our original table as Yukinoshita sits down first with her arms cross; her legs overlapping each other, shaking in impatiences while a single finger repeatedly taps on her bicep; still keeping her eyes on me; damn did she looked _pissed_.

Where the fuck was Yuigahama?!

I hear Yukinoshita slightly clear her throat and I feel a shock run through my spine as I straighten my back immediately, "so… want to hear my evaluation?"

I swallow nervously and try to avoid her eyes, "t-think we can wait this out? Maybe uh… pick this up tomorrow?"

She just narrows her eyes even more, as she shakes her foot and taps her biceps even more rapidly in agitation, "right, okay; I'll take that is a no, got it." I answer myself.

"As you can see I am rather-" Yukinoshita starts in a quiet, yet chilling voice.

"Hachiman! What the fuck was that?!" I suddenly see Kaori storm up to us, effectively cutting off Yukinoshita.

"Uh… can this wait Kaori? This isn't a good time." I quickly tell her, trying to-

"Leave." Yukinoshita speaks, and I instantly feel a chill run down my spine; note to self: don't piss off Yukinoshita.

Yeah, that does it; this girl is completely batshit crazy! Get the hell away from her!

But she's my friend, me.

You want to be friends with that?!

M-maybe…

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GO-

"Stay out of this!" Kaori yells back.

"O-oi… I don't think-"

I'm instantly forced down as an oppressive force suddenly fills the air, almost like the air around me was starting to choke me; I even found myself struggling to breathe. I try to move my head, but it felt as if my body was being weighed down. As I eventually look towards Yukinoshita she looked a bit disfigured as her outlines were becoming emboldened then shrink back to normal as my vision started developing black spots. I could hear the silverware and serving dishes start to rattle on the table as it starts to shake; was her fucking hair moving?!

"Shut up." Oi, oi, Yukinoshita?! Was that even her?!

"How dare-"

I see Yukinoshita instantly turn her gaze onto Kaori and see her falter a bit, "if you don't leave right now, I will not hesitate to THROW YOU THROUGH THIS GOD FORSAKEN WINDOW!"

All eyes instantly widen, even some of the other patrons turn their head; people passing by our table quickening their pace.

"I'm leaving now, bye."

Wait! Wait! Don't leave me alone with this fucking demon; Kaori, please!

As they were having their little 'exchange', I tried to stealthily make my great escape; before I feel the table be kicked towards me as it forcefully slams in my abdomen and I'm forced back into my seat as I double over onto the table coughing a bit.

No really where the fuck did Yuigahama go! This is all her goddamn fault!

"Going somewhere?" I hear Yukinoshita ask.

"J-just stretching…" I pathetically respond.

I feel the rather oppressive air fade away as Yukinoshita turns her attention towards me, "as I was saying-"

"Yo, Hikigaya." I, yet again, hear another voice; a rather monotone and emotionless voice.

"K-Kawapocki?!" I yell in surprise.

She raises her eyebrows at me, "Kawasaki," she corrects, "why the hell are you yelling?"

"Ahaha," I awkwardly laugh, I quickly glance to the demon-woman as she meets my gaze and slowly shakes her head, "no reason, r-really, what brings you here?"

She just keeps looking at me weirdly, "it's a cafe…? I wanted some coffee, like everyone else." She blankly states.

"Wow how interesting, why don't I accompany you to the line, I know of some- ack!" I instantly go to grab my shine as I feel someone kick it rather forcefully.

"Oh, Hikigaya-kun, are you alright? Maybe we should get you checked out by a doctor, _alone_."

There is no way in hell I'm leaving the safety of a public environment to be alone with you!

"...am I interrupting something?" Kawasacki says getting our attention once again.

"Yes."

"No of course not, haha." I laugh, trying to cover up Yukinoshita's voice. "Please stay." I add on quickly.

I see Yukinoshita shoot me a glare.

"I think I'll just go get my coffee if that's okay with you."

"It's actually not okay with me, I'd really like you to join us."

"But Hikigaya-kun, is it not impolite to invite another girl in front of your date?"

"Date?!" I look to Yukinoshita incredulously.

"Right… I'm gonna go, now. You two have fun." Kawalocki tones out a bit annoyed while giving us a confused look.

"Wait!" I yell out while reaching out to her as I feel another kick into my shin and I stumble once again; god, **fuck!** Stop doing that, woman!

I hear Kawajocki groan out in frustration, " _what?_ What, what, what?!" She tones out exasperatedly, "I just want some coffee!"

Please don't leave me alone with her, please, please!

"Why don't you come join us afterwards?" I ask hopefully.

"No." And with that she walks away and I feel myself slowly die on the inside as Yukinoshita turns back towards me with a sinister smile.

"So, back onto the topic at hand." Yukinoshita tries once again.

"Hey guys!"

"Oh for the love of-" I hear Yukinoshita sigh out bitterly.

I instantly shoot up and go to grab Yuigahama's hands, as she looks shocked and gives me an embarrassed and bashful look, "Yuigahama! Thank god you're here, where were you?!"

"...the bathroom?" She tones out confused, "whatch'a guys doin'?"

I bring her over to me and sit her down next to me, as the blush continues to grow on her cheeks; Yukinoshita eyes getting set ablaze once again, "well I was just waiting for Yukinoshita's evaluation; glad you could make it."

As Yuigahama sits down she seems to understand what I was getting at and nervously glances towards our 'president', finally noticing the rather chilly atmosphere'. "O-oh… right."

Yukinoshita just keeps her composure as she patiently waits a few more minutes expecting another interruption. When nothing pops up, she finally clears her throat, "alright now that all of that is out of the way maybe we can finally get started." She pauses again, "no? Nothing? Okay, good."

She lets go of a rather long sigh and turns her attention back to us, "so… mind explaining what exactly happened back there?"

I adjust my collar and undo the top button, was it getting stuffy in here? I look to Yuigahama who matches my gaze before looking shyly away. I look back to Yukinoshita who just sat there silently a permanent glare on her face.

"W-well…" I awkwardly start, before I look to Yuigahama for help.

She instantly perks up with a blush as she she meets my gaze, "i-it was a heat of the moment kind of thing." She answers quietly.

I immediately follow up, "y-yeah! We we're supposed to be a couple, right? Just acting the part is all."

I feel myself internally cringe as Yukinoshita still sits there with the same murderous look in her eyes; anymore of this and I will seriously snap! Please have mercy on me Yukinoshita; what do I need to do? Buy you more sweets? Pet your head more often? How about I call you Yukino, girls like being addressed by their first name, right? Maybe you want me to join in your cat cosplays? Why don't I become your best friend? Anything, just stop giving me that goddamn look!

"..."

She remains silent as I start to nervously fidget in place and I see Yuigahama start to get anxious as well, "so what'd you think?" I squeak out as I hear my voice crack.

She hardens her gaze on me, "what did I think?" She silently asks.

"What. Did. I. Think?!" She raises her voice a bit, emphasizing each word.

My alarm bells in my head were once again going wild as I prepare to bolt for the door; Yuigahama be damned!

"I thought you guys did fantastic." She answers politely.

…

…

…

WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU REALLY ARE BI-POLAR AREN'T YOU!

"Wait, wait, wait." I instantly speak up, "you thought we did good? As in you liked it?"

Her hardened gaze eases up as she gets a look of confusion, "that is what I said, yes."

I instantly slam my face repeatedly into the table as I see Yuigahama fall out of her seat, "then why the fuck do you look so irritated?!"

Her hardened cold gaze comes back in full force and I immediately back up a bit in fear, "because Hikigaya-kun," she starts off, before leaning towards me, "you. Broke. Character."

I swallow nervously as her voice echoes into my ear, sending a chill down my spine, "b-breaking character?"

"Yes," She casually responds, "you told the audience you were acting; effectively rendering the whole exercise obsolete! The point was to keep this as real as possible! We spent so many hours rehearsing and practicing and you just go and ruin it!"

I look at her in a confused manner, "so you're saying you're not mad that Yuigahama and I, uh…" I cough in embarrassment, "k-kissed?"

The oppressive force comes back in full; effectively cutting off all notions of a response and I feel myself being forced into the table once again. I struggle to look back at her as my vision was once again developing black spots, the outlines of her form getting disfigured; hey eyes turn to slits as she gives me a half-lidded smile that looked pretty dangerous.

"Of course not." She responds in a sickly sweet manner.

Oi, oi! You're not fooling anyone here, much less yourself!

Yuigahama speaks out, seemingly unfazed by the rather intense atmosphere around the table, "r-right? It's not like you two are dating or anything, ahaha."

"Yes, Yuigahama-san, we are indeed not dating," she casually responds before turning back to me, her eyes turning into slits again with that dangerous smile of hers, "right, Hikigaya-kun?"

"R-right, of course." I hesitantly answer her.

"Good," she smiles, "remember to stay in character next time, Hikigaya-kun;" her slitted eyes still staying on me,"it'd be a shame to send mixed signals and confuse those around you."

The air around us suddenly turns ice cold and I shiver a bit, "g-got it."

* * *

Excusing myself from the rather tense and uncomfortable atmosphere, I make my way to some other part of the cafe away from that demon of a woman; I wasn't too keen on leaving the safety of this place, and anymore time of being under that woman's gaze would've set me off the edge, no seriously. Crack aside, I probably would've done _anything_ she asked me _._

So like, kiss her or something? Maybe uh, call her Yukino for the rest of the story?

Yeah, something like that; I'd even go as far as being her boyfriend if she asked me!

...right, well if you start to get death threats for being such a _cocktease_ , don't come crying to me.

What?

Nothing.

I find myself once again on the upper floors trying to keep as much distance as possible from Yukinoshita. I go to sit on one of the various couches and plop down as I let out a deep sigh; this day has just been a rollercoaster of emotions, and quite frankly I was drained.

I check my phone and see that it was getting pretty late, sooner rather than later I'd have to make my way back home before Aneki starts to get antsy again, who knows what she'd do if I broke the deal we made.

"A-ahem." Wait a minute, hasn't this happened before?

I move my hands away from my eyes and look up to see vibrant green eyes once again, "well look who it is, Ms. Antiosocial." I tone out to myself, not realizing I was talking out loud.

"M-Miura." She quietly responds.

"Oh, my bad, right. I didn't mean-" I try to explain, "nevermind."

She just nods her head as she takes a seat next to me, her laptop being balanced on her lap; "...you seem… tired."

I actually sit up and look towards her, "yeah…" I tiredly respond, "A lot has happened and I'm actually trying to get away from all these crazy ass girls."

She just looks at me weirdly, "wait, no, sorry; that came out wrong. I have these two girls in my club, well kind of? Anyway, I just need to get away from them and about four others."

She just keeps her look and I could feel her shy away from me a bit. I just give a sigh, "right, no; of course, that probably sounds weird."

She gives a small laugh and just covers her mouth, pulling her hat a bit down more, "...little bit."

I give her a small smile, "well, what're you still doing here? Some sort of schoolwork?" I ask, pointing to her laptop for emphasis.

She bristles a bit, looking towards me in surprise, "uhh, something like that… yeah."

I let loose a sigh, "you know, if I intimidate you this much I can leave." I suggest, as I pick myself up and start to leave.

She raises her hand once again, except this time she doesn't retract her arms and actually holds onto the cuffs of my blazer, "sorry."

I just look at her suspiciously, it was never a good sign when a girl willingly wants to be alone; I'd know! This has happened with literally three other girls! I slowly sit back down and give her a questioning look.

"Im, uh... " She pauses, avoiding my gaze as she adjusts her hat, "not great at conversing…"

Well, I guess Ms. Antisocial wasn't that sociable after all, "yet you have a group of friends and are always on your phone?"

"I've known Tobe and Yui since middle school," she responds, "the others I'm not too close with, I usually just use my phone as an excuse to not engage into conversations."

Ahah! I was right!

"Right…" I respond, "any reason why you've been trying to catch my attention?"

She pulls her hat down even further, almost completely covering her eyes, "...no reason."

Oh alright, yeah, okay. No, I totally believe that.

I, once again, make my way to stand up; not really trusting this girl. I mean she was what? Like in three scenes in the past sixty-thousand words? Why the hell was she talking to me now?

"Nice performance by the way." She casually says as I make my way towards the stairs. I instantly turn around and giver her a suspicious look.

"You were watching?"

She suddenly turns her laptop around and faces it towards me, clicking in the process. As I look towards the screen I see a rather crude video of Yuigahama and me doing our skit; uploaded to one of the most popular social websites.

Oh… fun.

"Great, it's not like people weren't already hounding me for the entrance ceremony, now I have to deal with this bullshi-"

I suddenly feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, I quickly fish it out and check the caller I.D. I internally groan and get a sense of dread as I read it: Haru-nee.

I begrudgingly swipe to the right and pick up the call.

"Let me explain, Aneki."

" _Explain what, Hachiman?_ " I hear her tone out sweetly.

"You know what I'm talking about, no need to play dumb."

A few seconds of silence passes and I take my phone away from my face to check if the call was still going.

" _Good, well that makes things a bit simpler._ " Oh, here we go.

"Look, Aneki, it was just acting we weren't really-"

" _Ah-bup-bup-bup,_ " She cuts me off, " _save it; we'll talk about it when you get home._ "

"But I'm actually in the middle of a club activity, I might need to stay out a bit more later than-"

" _Come home,_ now _._ " And with that I hear her hang up.

Great, awesome, solid, fan-fucking-tastic; can my day get any worse?

I heave a heavy sigh and I hear Ms. Antisocial let loose a small laugh; I shoot her a glare and she instantly bristles and adjusts her hat once again as she turns her laptop back around and tries to avoid me. I just shake my head and continue towards the lower floors.

"I can take it down if you want." I hear her call out as I was descending the steps. I stop and instantly retrace my steps.

"Pardon?" I ask, did she just say she could stop this whole mess from manifesting?

"I can take down the video." She elaborates.

I run up to her and invade her personal space as I practically yell out, "yes! Please!" Then I realize something and back away from her and give her a suspicious look, "...what's in it for you?"

She just adjusts her hat, showing me more of her eyes and gives me a grin, "how about-"

"Say 'date' and I will not hesitate to grab your laptop and throw it over the railing with you following after it." I quickly say, interrupting her train of thought.

She just gives me a surprised look before she backs away from me as well, "...gross."

…

Well that's certainly not what I expected; I was just so used to all these crazy ass, horny women that I just assumed it'd be something along those lines. Quite frankly I'm actually kind of glad she acted that way, at least that was normal!

"A-anyway," I start off again, ignoring the growing awkward air, "what's your contingency?"

"Simple, I want you to model for me."

… wait what?

"What?"

She just rolls her eyes, "look, I have this blog, of sorts. I'm really into fashion and I've always just written about female clothing; I've never had a chance to write about guys' clothing and your build is perfect for what I'm going for!" She eagerly explains coming closer with each point she crossed 'til she eventually came up and took her hands into mine, "I can even exclude your face if you'd like, I just need a couple of photos of some outfits and inspect it in person! It'll be great!"

I just look at her in a confused manner, "I don't follow."

She instantly drops her head in disappointment, "let me take photos of you in different outfits and I will take down the video, my god."

Whoa there, what's with the attitude?

"Sounds simple enough," I respond, "you got a deal."

"Great!" She quickly goes back to her laptop and with a few keystrokes and clicking later she triumphantly nudges my shoulder to have a look. I see that the video was indeed deleted and that-

WAIT, DID SHE UPLOAD THE DAMN VIDEO?! YOU SLY MOTHER FU-

"O-oi! You were the one who uploaded it!" I yell at her incredulously, "you tricked me!"

She gives me a sly smile, "I never said I _didn't_ upload it, just that I'd be able to take it down; and I did. I didn't trick you at all."

I just give her a hard look then go to pull her hat all the way down as it covers her eyes; she squeaks in surprise and ends up dropping her laptop as she struggles to get her hat back in place, "h-hey!"

"I'll get your number later, I'm in a bit of a hurry." And I quickly make my down the stairs, avoiding her wrath.

* * *

As I make my way towards the lower floors I try to maneuver myself with the crowd and be as inconspicuous as possible, avoiding Yukinoshita to my best ability and making my way out of the cafe.

I step outside and shiver a bit as the crisp night air assaults my body, why the fuck was it so cold?!

"Going somewhere?" I instantly freeze mid-step as a sudden chill runs up my spine and my alarms going haywire as I feel the sudden urge to bolt. I ignore the warnings and slowly turn around to see the icy cat demon herself.

"J-just getting some fresh air." I casually respond.

She just gives me that half-lidded smile of hers and makes her way towards me, "all the way across the street? Not even bothering to tell me or Yuigahama-san?"

"I-I got a bit distracted?" I try to appease.

"You know Hikigaya-kun, lying is not only a bad habit, it is also rather peevish."

I blow a raspberry, "Pfft, wha-? Me? Lying? Nah… never."

She just continues to give me that creepy-ass smile and looks at me expectantly, "okay, no you're right; I'm sorry." I quickly say to appease.

Her dangerous smile drops as she actually puts on a real one, "I'm glad you're learning Hikigaya-kun."

I-I'm not a dog…

"So where is Yuigahama anyways?" I ask once I realize the peach-haired girl wasn't with us.

"Her mother called her a while back and she had to leave." Yukinoshita casually responds as she continues walking ahead of me. I go to follow her and we soon find ourselves in step with each other. "But I guess you were too busy with other girls to realize." I feel the air grow cold once again.

"I got a call from my sister actually," I try to defend, "apparently someone recorded our little 'session' and you know how Aneki is."

She glances towards me, "hmm… How many lies are you going to tell me today, Hikigaya-kun?"

I feel a shiver run through me, technically that wasn't a lie, "I'm not lying, I can even show the phone call to prove it." As I go to fetch my phone I stop midway, "wait, what the hell? I don't have to prove anything to you! You're not my damn girlfriend!"

She just gives me a pout, "we are friends are we not, Hikigaya-kun? I am a girl; it is not good practice to make secrets."

"When the hell did you become a 'friends' expert?! And 'girlfriend' has a completely different connotation than a girl who is a friend!" I yell incredulously.

She whips out a book from her back pocket and shows it to me, "how to make friends for dummies; all your needs to engage in social interactions and become popular?" I slowly read the title, "what the hell kind of dumbass even reads this?!"

She just beams at me, "I actually think it is quite a good read; it has some valid points."

I just roll my eyes at her, "did it say to ask about each other's sex life in there too?"

"Actually, yes; it did. Though that was under the chapter of 'Friends with Benefits"; it was a rather complicated chapter and I found myself struggling to follow its practices."

You're fucking joking, right? That's not something you should be reading let alone what someone should be writing about!

I instantly snatch the book away from her, and proceed to fling it into the nearest garbage. We do _not_ need that complication to manifest in this story.

"If you wanted to read it, all you had to do was ask Hikigaya-kun." Yukinoshita gives me a glare.

"That book isn't doing you any favors, believe me."

She just crosses her arms and continues to walk ahead of me. We stay like that for a few minutes before she slows her pace and matches mine once again, "so…" She casually tries to start, a definite redness to her face; I mean it _was_ pretty damn cold out here.

"You and Yuigahama-san, how close are you two really?" She struggles a bit to get her question out.

I just raise my eyebrows at her, "well… She's like a mutual friend and a classmate. I've hung out with her when Yato and I went out a few days ago; other than that I haven't really talked to her, excluding today of course."

I see her slowly nod her head, "would you call her a friend?" She asks once again after a few minutes of silence. I just look curiously at Yukinoshita as she keeps her eyes forward.

"Not really…?" I hesitantly respond, "I've never really had a one-on-one conversation with her and I know close to nothing about her; only recently have I actually been talking to her. Again, she's a mutual friend, a friend of a friend." Why the hell am I explaining this again?

"But… that is still a friend, yes?" I see Yukinoshita finally look towards me with a rather desperate look to her eyes, the hell is wrong with you?

I recoil a bit after I see her face and awkwardly respond, "yeah… I guess?"

"Then…" She tries to start, her face getting a bit more red, "are we friends?"

I instantly faceplant into the floor, what the hell are you getting me all worked up for?! I thought you had something seriously wrong there!

"Aren't we?" I casually respond, "you even said it yourself, we are rather close; taking into account the short amount of time we have actually known each other."

"But you have never actually vocalized it; yet I have." She responds a bit sadly, and she quickens her pace a bit. Something about the way she said that set me off; did she really think that I didn't see us as friends?

I quicken my pace as well to match hers and I grab her shoulder to slow her down and turn towards me, "what's this _really_ about, Yukinoshita?"

She avoids making eye contact and keeps her gaze glued to the floor, "I'm sorry, I know I should trust you, but…" Her voice falters a bit and she trails off.

I just give her a confused look as my face scrunches up, no really, what the hell is going on?

"But…?" I try to help her out.

She looks towards me and a rather intense and heated gaze is thrown my way, whoa! What the hell did I do?!

"I can't help but shake the feeling that you are being rather disingenuous with me, like the kids back in middle school." She breathes out rather spiteful. "All this time and you've never actually said we were friends."

Was that all this was about?!

"You're being ridiculous Yukinoshita, of course you're my friend; the first one I made since coming to this school! Do you really need me to tell you that?"

She falters a bit and the rather intense gaze lessens, but remains, "yet you talk to all these other girls."

I roll my eyes, "I can have other friends than you! I have Yato too, they aren't all just girls."

"If I truly am your friend, how come you asked that girl for her number? You've never asked me for mine." She tones out bitterly.

Phone number? Girl? What the hell-

Oh.

"You heard that?"

She glances off to the side, "I didn't mean to eavesdrop; I was just getting rather lonely since Yuigahama-san left, so I went searching for you, I didn't want to intrude."

She still had her rather spiteful visage, but I could definitely see a genuine sadness to her eyes, "it was more to it than that," I desperately try to explain, "she had a video uploaded about the skit we made and bargained to take it down; I have to get her number to fulfill my end of the deal."

"Then… we really are friends?" I hear her silently ask.

"Yes!" I exclaim, "what else do you want me to do to prove it?"

She loses the spiteful look as she gets a rather bashful look before she slowly takes out her phone. I shake my head in exasperation but laugh a bit to myself. I go to fish my phone out of my pocket, ready to exchange numbers before she swipes it out of my hand.

"O-oi! What the hell do you think you're doing?!" I go to grab my phone back, but she just turns around and I'm forced to maneuver my way around her. As I finally make way around her and grab her hands forcing her to let go of my phone, I see that there was a new message. I look at her suspiciously as she avoids my gaze, a rather intense blush on her cheeks.

* * *

[From: Yukineko-tan

Hello. 6:48 PM]

* * *

What the fuck kind of name is that?!

"Mind explaining this god-awful name?" I seethe out.

She still avoids my gaze but a smile creeps onto her face, "if you truly are my friend you will not change my contact name; think of it as sort of covenant."

"Hell no! If any of the girls see this they'll fucking kill me!" I reason.

"So you really were being disingenuous with me?" She coldly responds, backing away from me,"that these other 'girls' are more important to you than your 'first friend'?"

I go to say something but it dies in my throat as I see her spiteful, yet sad look come back; as if I've just broken her trust. I just heave a heavy sigh, whatever; I just need to make sure no one gets a hold of my phone.

"Fine, I'll keep the damn name; but I get to change my name in yours." I compromise.

Her face gets set aflame once again as she bristles and backs away from me, holding her phone to her chest, "t-that won't be necessary, Hikigaya-kun."

I look at her suspiciously, "give me the phone, Yukinoshita." I tone out like a father would to his child.

She just silently shakes her head quickly back and forth, her body preparing to bolt from me. I instantly dash towards her as she too makes a run for it, she doesn't get far as I forcefully wrap my hands around her waist and pick her up off the ground, her legs still kicking in mid-air. She lets out a squeak in surprise before she laughs a bit and I join her, as I swing her around back onto the sidewalk.

As I put her back on the ground she squirms in my grasp, but I keep a firm hold on her and she eventually relents, leaning her back into me. I'm instantly painfully aware of the sudden proximity of Yukinoshita and the feeling of her rather flat stomach; the fragrance of her shampoo assaulting my nose and the slight panting coming from her short sprint echoing in my ears. I find comfort in the warmth being generated between us as I find myself lowering my head towards her shoulder, bringing her a bit closer. I feel her tense up, then relax and her head turns slightly towards mine.

"Is it normal for mutual friends to kiss one another?" I hear her pant out.

I raise my head towards her, "no, not really." I distractedly respond, "more like people who find themselves close with another."

She moves within my hold and I regrettably release her from me along with the warmth being generated. She turns herself around, facing me as she steps towards me and I feel my arms instinctively wrap themselves around her lower back desperate to bring back the warmth; her hands going towards her chest as she still holds her phone, completely forgotten and leans herself into me.

"Then…" She starts to talk into my chest, "if you kissed Yuigahama-san who is a mutual friend, wouldn't it be fair to do the same with someone who _is_ close to you? Like, a real friend?"

"Yeah, that seems fair." I answer back, not really paying attention to what was happening around me nor what was happening to me; I felt as if I was under some kind of spell and all I wanted was to keep this warmth with Yukinoshita.

Before I can even react I see her glance up towards me as she inches towards me. I didn't really know what she was doing nor did I really _care_ , all I knew was that I found myself doing the same and trying to meet her in the middle.

However I was suddenly broken from the spell as I feel my phone go off once again, practically blowing up in my pocket. I see Yukinoshita go back to her original height as I do the same; both of us backing away from each other, but I still held her in my arms as her hands gently rested on my chest. We stay like that as I fish my phone out of my pocket and I see Yukinoshita give me an annoyed pout. Honestly it was rather cute and I had to stop myself from laughing.

( **A/N: lol… it's just too easy.** )

"Hikigaya." I answer the phone.

" _Hachiman, why aren't you home yet? It's almost seven!"_ I immediately move the phone away from my ear as I hear Aneki start yelling through the speakers and even cringe a bit, damn that was loud.

As I hear her finish up, I put the phone back towards my ear, "I'm on the way home; if you actually listened to me I said I might have to stay a bit late due to the club. We're pretty far and I don't exactly have a car on me."

A few seconds of silence pass, " _who's 'we'?"_

Ah shit.

"Yukinoshita." I honestly answer, hearing her name she perks up and looks at me curiously.

" _What about that peach-haired bimbo you were with? Where is she?"_

I just let loose a sigh, "she had to go home; she's a friend of Yato's so be a bit more respectful will you?"

" _Any girl who kisses you without my consent is not worth my respect."_

Oi, I'm not your goddamn property!

"Right…" I agree just to appease her, "anyway I'll be there in a few. I'll have to drop off Yukinoshita."

" _You better not be lying, Hachiman or I will come get you myself."_ I just sigh and shake my head, " _say hi to Yukino-chan for me while you're at it."_

"Yeah, yeah; later."

I hang up the phone and drop my head a bit, I was _not_ looking forward to going home. I feel Yukinoshita close the distance again and lean her head on my shoulder, "we should get going."

I feel her nod into me, but refuse to move, "I can't be late Yukinoshita, you know how my sister gets; she said hi by the way."

She just leans herself more into me, putting more of her weight on me, "carry me."

...seriously.

"Why?" I ask in a drawn out voice.

"I'm tired; and you have been rather troublesome today. This is your punishment."

Oi, oi, what gives you the right to punish me? I'm a goddamn human being not property; you girls don't own me!

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." I start walking in front of her than kneel a bit as she gets onto my back, her arms wrapping around my neck and I feel her prop her head on my shoulder, becoming awfully close.

"Happy, now?" I ask out annoyed.

She just laughs softly and I feel her breath tickle my ear a bit, "I'm honestly still a bit peeved, but I feel much better now." She answers, whispering into my ear. I instantly jerk my head away from her and go to give her a glare.

"Why the hell are you so close? And stop talking so close to my ear."

I see her give me a confused look until it turns into a sly smirk, "why?" As she once again talks into my ear, her breath feeling rather warm compared to the nippy air. I feel a shiver run through me as Yukinoshita's smirk widens, probably noticing how it was affecting me.

"Something wrong?" She again, whispers into my ear. I feel another shiver run through me as I feel contact on my ear; oi! Watch where you put your lips you vixen!

I just shake my head and keep my eyes forward; whatever weird ass fetish you have is none of my business, just leave me out of it.

"Keep this up and I will drop you on the ground and leave you there while you're forced to find your own way back home."

I see her give me a pout as she goes back to resting her chin on my shoulder, "well, you're no fun."

"And you're a bi-polar, crazy, cat-girl with a victim complex. " I bitterly tone out.

I continue towards our apartment complex, and a few minutes of silence pass by with Yukinoshita going silent; maybe I went too far?

"...I'm sorry." I hear her say quietly. I go to look back at her confused, "for what?"

"About today." She elaborates

"You mean when you were acting like you were about to kill the entire cafe?"

She just looks away embarrassed, "for my behavior in general."

I raise my eyebrows at her, as her cheeks get red, "f-for not being as 'c-cute' as you put it."

I feel my face get a bit hot as well, "look, I was joking about that, alright? Everyone has their off-days and quite frankly today is slowly becoming one for me as well." I explain, I'm also sorry about what I said earlier."

She just stays silent as a smile slowly creeps onto her face, "thank you, Hikigaya-kun; I accept your apology."

I just nod in response, "I _am_ sorry about what I said, but that doesn't mean I don't think it's true." I quickly add on as a jab, a grin forming on my face.

I feel her icy gaze return in full force before she starts smacking my head repeatedly, "why must you always ruin the moment?!"

* * *

"Have a good night, Hikigaya-kun. Thank you for walking me home." I just nod in response as Yukinoshita goes to close her door, sending me a quick wave before it fully closes. I hear the automated lock click in place and just sigh out as I make my way towards my own suite.

I slide my card into the automated lock and hear the door unlock. Making my way inside I close the door behind and take off my shoes.

"I'm home." I call out, walking into the living room, the lights suddenly turn on as I see Aneki sitting on of the couches giving me a blank look.

I just give her a weird look and wave to her, "yo."

Her blank looks turns into a hard glare, and I feel myself start to sweat a bit; oh shit, she does _not_ look happy.

"So…" She starts off, "mind explaining this!" She goes to whip out her phone and show me a video, however an error pops up and says the video has been removed.

I just look at her blankly, "explain what?"

Her eyes narrow, "don't play dumb with me, this-! Huh?" She goes to look at her phone and sees the blank video, "wait, wait, what?!"

"Uh, huh; can I go now? It's been a long day."

"Hold it, buster!" She screams out and I pause mid step, "you knew what I was talking about over the phone, you must've seen the video too! You even answered when I brought up that peach-haired-

"Yuigahama." I interrupt.

"-Whatever! The fact remains you kissed some random girl-

"Yuigahama." I interrupt again.

I see her stop talking as she silently breathes through her mouth and try to recompose herself, "interrupt me one more time Hachiman, and I will put your damn head through the window."

I just scoff at her, "then you're paying for it." I grin.

"Ugh!" She seethes, "Hachiman, who the fuck is that girl?! I'm serious!" She actually gets up from the couch and moves towards me. As she gets in my face with her angry look, I can't help but smile.

"...Yuigahama."

"Oh, okay; yeah, no, no. I get it." She just blankly states, her rather angry look still on her face.

I just hold my sardonic grin and raise my eyebrows at her, "yes, sister dearest? Is there a problem?"

Her look instantly turns rather perverse and dangerous, "I guess there's only one way to sort this mess out."

I instantly falter and my rather cocky smile disappears, "w-wait, Aneki, I was joking!"

"Guess I'll just have to do the same to make it even!" She yells out happily.

"Yeah fucking, right!" I instantly yell and make a dash to get away from her, I hop over the couch and make my way towards the kitchen. Wait, shit! The door is the other way idiot!

"Oh don't be like that, Hachiman! Where are you going?"

"Get the hell away from me! We are not doing this again!"

"Oh look what I found, your keycard. Guess you can't leave this place." She waves it in front of me.

"Are you a dumbass? I can still unlock the door from the inside!"

"Nuh-uh, I broke the lock!"

"You _what_?! We have to pay for that, idiot!"

"Whatever! Just shut up and kiss me!"

"Like hell I will!"

* * *

 **Honestly I was so close to just pairing Yukinoshita with Hikigaya; I'm sure you can guess what scene was revised, haha. It's a bit more early(way more early) than I planned, but my muse writes what he wants. So I'll have to ask you guys; what girl are you shipping the most? I know its a bit unfair because Yukinoshita is _the_ most flushed out character; but... I am curious to see the stats; I may just do a poll.**

 **The most popular girl does not mean she will end up as the main pairing; it is more for me to see what people are liking/disliking; 'cause I know the trolls out there will somehow make Nakamichi the most popular girl or something or even make Hayama the most popular pairing.**

 **And if it really gets bad, I'll just start up my new fic to get this whole 'romance heavy' muse out of my head.**

 **On a completely different note, if you guys are having trouble with imagining Yukinoshita's perverse/creepy smile/look go watch episode 11 at around 3 minutes she gives Isshiki the same smile saying:**

 **"You know full well that I am not."**

 **;rather the smile I was going for is what is seen here. (I fucking love that look lmao.)**

 **I honestly have no idea where I'm taking this story haha.**

 **Until next time,**

 **-Ausko**


	9. Dissuading Rumors

**Hey guys, miss me?**

 **I could give you an excuse for the late update, but I'm sure you don't care. Let's just say it has to deal with me being a closeted fanfic writer and leave it at that, haha. As well as other things, but again, who cares right?**

 **Again, I want to thank all the new follows/favorites; it's honestly blowing my mind how many there are, never expected this much when I first started out!**

 **As for the reviews; holy shit guys, y'all are just blowing the counter out of the water! Second page of most reviewed stories! Amazing! I honestly can not express the gratitude I feel towards you guys!**

 **Before I get into the responses I would like to say that the Poll is officially out on my bio; click on my profile to cast your votes on who your favorite ship/character is atm! So far Kawasaki is in the lead! You guys don't want her to be the definitive pairing, do you? If not, you better tip the favors for your best grill. If so, keep those votes coming to put her in the lead! ( Disclaimer: the most popular girl does not guarantee who Hikigaya will end up with.)**

 **As for the 'guest' reviews; these just keep getting longer and longer... so bear with me please, haha.**

 **Guest(1/2) : **Oh this is a fun to start off with, haha. Alright jokes aside, thank you for the review and the honest feedback! I will not disagree with you on the story being 'bad' because that is subjective to reader, and quite honestly, I agree. Objectively this story is a disaster, especially with certain characters; I am not oblivious to incongruencies, believe me; but if you are relatively new the you probably missed my chapter 7(old) spiel; in which I've decided to embrace the rather inane and overall bullshit that happens in the story as well as the renaming process(it was cancled); trying to keep track of it all and justify it would literally make me want to kill myself. So it as it is; take it or leave it. I'd love to say more, but again, this an A/N. Thank you for at least giving my fic a shot! But if I may, Ebina has stayed in character throughout the whole fic; so there _is_ at least on character that stays consistent :D

 **Guest(3) : **Haha, I'm guessing this a review in response to the guest before you? Don't worry; I can take criticism very well. I'm much, _much_ , more harsh than these kind people on this website. It's when people start to flame is when my inner fuckboy comes out and I can get rather indecent, haha. Thank you for the kind words, don't worry I already did a rework; I don't plan on doing another one, so again, it is as it is, take it or leave it. Thanks for the review!

 **hre : **Haha, I honestly don't see how a girl I didn't even plan on including got the most popular and a decent backing; but I'll take that as a good sign. LOL; 'or all the girls that haven't been fleshed out much', you remind me of myself. I always root for the underdogs or often neglected characters. Nakamichi best grill, 10/10 please make canon.

 **hre(2) : **Lol, keep your panties on I've updated! Oh, you actually read my other fic? Well I thank you for that; it was just something I whipped off in a day(less than a day); though it has stayed longer than it's welcome and has received more of my attention than it should have; it has even gotten very popular(all things considered)!

 **Guest(4) : **Haha, yeah he could've; but again, that'd just be too easy right? Thanks for the review!

 **khan(1/2/3) : **Hey thanks for all the reviews! Haha, yeah, that's actually why I don't mind reading(or writing for that matter) about it, they're all fictional characters. It's the same thing with movies based off that taboo.

 **2.)** LOL; I'm sure guys wouldn't mind a girl so... willing. But again, that'd just be too easy and plus he's a decent guy(not saying guys who would accept right away are indecent, but... y'know lol.)so yeah. Well, it's high school and rumors are actually probably the easiest plot device to use as a catalyst for more scenes and characters, haha.

 **3.)** Haha, thank you for the kind words; well it may be a while because I still have to work out the kinks of her, just like Kawasaki she was not intended to have a major impact. Though she's not Hayama's closest follower; remember this is an AU, so anything goes and everything canon should just be forgotten.

 **Guest(5/6/7/8/9) : **Holy... I mean; not that I don't appreciate all the reviews but _fuck_ this A/N is going to be so aids to read... damn. People are going to skim this A/N aren't they? Anyways thanks for all the reviews, holy shit man.

 **5-7.)** I mean it is an AU and I was probably hopped up on something while making this, so... Y'know, expect the unexpected, haha.

 **8.)** Is it really? I was always told it was Otōto, but you probably know more than I do, haha.

 **9.)** LOL; yeah, 'lil bit, but I'm weird(and vain) enough to check those sorts of things. Yeah, I see that now; honestly I'm at a loss for words. I honestly don't deserve to be ranked so high because I do know people who just go read stories based off their reviews(it's what I do when I'm new to a fandom, though searching for the most 'followed' is usually a better sign for good stories.), I don't actually know how I should feel about it, haha. I said to another guest that I didn't want to put in Totsuka, but after writing Zaimokuza I may just add him in to the mix too; I mean why the hell not, right? I actually honestly thought about that; but it'd be such a pain in the ass to do, refer to the A/N at the end as I will touch on that aspect. LOL; so I get more accurate portrayal, duh.

 **Jesus cucking Fhrist that was a lot guys, hope you'll still read the A/N's; and again thank you for the tremendous amount of reviews!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU or anything related to it.**

* * *

I make my way towards the back entrance of the school after I get out of the car; again, it was only a matter of time before the rumors surrounding Aneki and I would die, there was no need to stoke the flames. I eventually make my way towards class as I now remember the way towards the entrance courtesy to Kawamaki.

As I step into the room, again, all chatter stops and I wordlessly make my towards my seat; finally noticing all the intense stares I just look around, "what?"

Immediately all the kids go back to their own business and I was left relatively alone. I raise my eyebrows and give a confused look before I make my way towards Yato and his friends.

"Anyone know why all these kids are looking at me like I'm some sort of exotic species?"

Yato just grumbles to himself, "I dunno, you tell me 'oh great actor of the drama club'."

"What?"

"Yeah Hikitani-kun, I didn't even know we had a drama club! You think I could get in? That president of yours is pretty cute, why don't you be a bro and introduce me to her?" The beta suddenly joins in our conversation, nudging me with his elbow in the process. One, get the hell away from me. Two, you're not my friend, stop acting so chummy. Three, bother Yukinoshita and I will not hesitate to throw you through the nearest window.

"Yeah, not going to happen." She'd probably get reminded of her middle school years and go into that icy, reclusive attitude again; that was _not_ fun to be around.

"Aww come on, Hikitani-kun, you've got Yui already, why not share some of the love?" I feel a bit of annoyance snap within me. I go to tell the damn kid off, but Yato gives me a stern look and slowly shakes his head noticing my rather sour look. I just sigh out, "look, it's not a drama club, alright? It's a 'service' club; if you have a request come to the abandoned building behind the school, you'll be able to meet her in person."

He suddenly puts his arm around my neck in an overly friendly manner and I instantly bristle, "whoa so you will introduce me to her? Thanks a bunch brosef!" I instantly cringe with the name and the contact he was giving me.

"I'm just a club member, you're going to have to do the introductions yourself."

He just nods and moves away from, before a look of confusion dons his face, as Yato speaks up again, "wait, then why did you say it was a drama club in the video then?"

"Yeah, what's a 'service club', anyway? And what's a 'request'?"

I just slowly shake my head as I get flashbacks to the 'rehearsing' Yukinoshita put us through and how draining that whole thing was, "club activity, of sorts. President's call, not mine.".

That was a lie of course, but I will be damned if they were to find out the real reason behind that whole fiasco. Answering Yato, I turn to look back to the beta, "it'd be easier to show you and explain it there than now." Speaking of which where was Yuigahama?

"Where's Yuigahama anyways? She could show you guys to my club."

The beta wiggles his eyebrows, "missing your girlfriend already? She hasn't shown up yet."

I, again, just sigh out, "she's not my girlfriend; it was just an act."

"Right, right. My bad; I totally get it."

I just shake my head, "anyways, can we get back to my original question?"

This time Yato answers, "well obviously a lot of us saw that video, but then it mysteriously disappeared after an hour or two; I'm sure most of the class saw it as it made it's way to the front page for whatever reason."

I quickly glance to the back of the room towards Ms. Antisocial, seemingly interested in our conversation but still refusing to join in. She notices my gaze and instantly goes back to looking out the window.

I just roll my eyes and look back towards the two boys, "right. Well there's bound to be a rumor circling somewhere around this school about Yuigahama and me; mind trying to dispel it as best you can?"

They both just look to each other than shrug their shoulders, "yeah I guess."

"Sure, no problem; but I still think you should go for it brodaniel."

I just shake my head again; anymore with this kid and I actually might lose it. I go to walk back towards my seat not oblivious to the eyes following me, though they seemed less intense after the conversation I just finished having. It was like the whole class was listening in or something. As I sit down I see Yuigahama come through the door slightly out of breath. I give her a curious look as her cheeks were rather red, was she embarrassed or just taxed? She looks over to me as she recovers and gives a small wave before making her way towards her seat, Hiratsuka-sensei following soon after.

* * *

As the bell chimes for break, I actually, for once, make my way out into the hallway without being dragged elsewhere. I never really explored the school before and after a few minutes I found myself rather confused and lost. I try to make heads or tails of where I was but all the corridors looked exactly the same, wasn't there a map or something? As I continue seemingly lost, a bunch of kids just pass by giving me weird looks, others pointing and whispering. I even got the odd feeling that someone was tailing me; I've never actually seen any of these kids before. That must've meant I was either in the third or first year classrooms.

"Hikigaya? Hikigaya, Hachiman?" A voice suddenly calls to me; I turn around to see about three guys walk up to me and I instantly tense up.

"Uhh, yeah that's me." I awkwardly respond, "do I know you?"

"Come with us." A second boy responds to me.

Oh yeah, yeah, let me just go along with three guys I don't know during my only break in the day; you know what? Why don't I just skip all my classes while I'm at it too? You guys want my lunch money or something else cliche? How about I just go fucking jump out the window and save us all the trouble.

"Are you a dumbass?" All the boys instantly shoot me a glare; oh wait, did I say that out loud?

I just give heavy sigh as I drop my head a bit, honestly it's like no matter where I go, trouble just loves to follow. Why can't I just live out a lonely existence where no one paid attention to me? At least then I'd be able to keep my sanity.

"You guys don't _actually_ think I'll just blindly follow you to god knows where, right? I mean think about it; if you guys were here to like threaten me or something, you picked an awfully lousy place to confront me. We're in the middle of a school day, in the one of the main buildings to boot; why didn't you just do it after school? Or, I don't know, when I was walking home or something? Y'know, like when I'm _alone_ without people around?"

They all just falter, "I... actually didn't think that far. I just assumed you'd follow us."

… okay, that's just lazy writing to be completely honest.

I just shake my head, "alright, alright; whatever, what did you guys want again?"

"Rumor has it that you're dating the great Haruno-sama." One of the responds.

"Yes, and there is a mutual agreement with all the boys that she is to be shared among all of us." A second one, joins in.

You guys do realize that she shares the same family name as me right? As in we're _related_? And what the hell did you just say about my sister? No one is 'sharing' anything; should I kick your ass now, or wait a bit?

"And that all interlopers as well as all oath breakers be exonerated." The third finally finishes.

They all begin to talk in unison, " we are the," they all begin to strike a pose, "'Haruno Fanclub Enforcement Squad'!"

I just simply walk past them through their whole… whatever the hell you want to call that; again, by this point I was literally just immune to the rather stupid shit this school has to offer me, how did these kids even score in the top of the country? It was the food wasn't it? Where the hell was the cafeteria anyways? I'm starving.

They all just faceplant and topple over each other as I ignore them and walk off, "h-hey! We practiced that for hours! At least acknowledge us!"

"Nah." I answer over my shoulder, so was this the fanclub Aneki was talking about?

"Then I guess you leave us no choice." One of them speaks from the floor darkly, getting up. I just stop in my tracks and look back confused. So not _only_ were they fucked in the head, obsessed with my sister, and just total _nutjobs_. They were also chuunis to top it all off? How the hell did you three even get into this school?!

"You three need to relax before you start something you can't finish." I warn, getting serious. I was actually starting get annoyed; the first time I ever have time to myself and I have to deal with _this_? Are you actually kidding me? I haven't even eaten yet! You're wasting my precious time, I have to get back to class eventually!

"Tough words, scum."

Oh here we fucking go with the cliche hero lines, "let me guess, you're an avid manga reader?"

He instantly falters, "actually yeah, how'd you know?"

The other the two just smack him upside the head, and they go into a heated whispered debate, before turning back to me, "prepare yourself, Hachiman!"

Suddenly a rather overweight kid in a trench coat-aren't you hot in that thing?-comes charging at me with his arms raised. Was he going for a punch or something? Why the hell are you telegraphing your moves so easily?

I simply just stand there with my hands in my pockets as he takes a millennia to reach me. By the time he gets to me he's already out of breath and just limply swings his arm in a wide downward arc, completely missing me.

"Uhh… you need a moment?" I ask out, honestly he seemed _really_ out of breath; I actually felt bad.

"H-Hold… on…" He pants out, "you… are indeed… a mighty adversary!"

"I'm literally just standing here." I tone out.

"It must be… your killer instinct! It is... sapping away my strength, and making it... hard to move." He continues to pant.

Killer-wha? What the hell is he talking about.

"Look, I'm just gonna go; I need to get back to class." And I just wave him off, turning around and walking away.

"Don't forget about us!"

"Yeah, where do you think you're going?!"

I hear two rapid pairs of feet quickly approach me and I turn around in surprise as a kid rushes at me with abandon; he was actually pretty fast. I simply just press my back against the window and stick my foot out as he trips over it, not being able to slow down and I hear a loud smack on the tiled floor; even _I_ cringed a bit. Damn he was going to feel that in the morning.

The third finally catches up, not as fast as the first and goes for a wild left hook, I back up instantly as he keeps the pressure up with wild left and right swings that were actually quite solid; he didn't leave much openings and they weren't _too_ overextended. I kept backing away until he got tired and his swings became wilder and wilder, his stamina not keeping up. After a few moments he lets a loose a wide swing with his arm extended, a bit slow on the recovery and I instantly weave into his guard and just knee him in the stomach. Already out of breath he wasn't prepared for the sudden pressure into his abdomen and he instantly coughs out and drops to floor clutching his stomach.

Honestly, how did no one see any of this? Literally where did all the damn kids disappear to? Teachers? Anyone?

I actually kind of felt bad for these kids; I didn't _really_ mean to hurt them. I see the rather overweight kid just stand there in silent shock as he regains his breath, his mouth agape. I look sheepishly at him, "look, I'm sorry about-"

"That was amazing!" He shouts out, interrupting me, "you are indeed a worthy opponent of the great Zaimokuza!"

Zaimo-who?

"We shall meet again, Hachiman, god of war! The winner obtaining the favor of the lovely maiden, Haruno-sama!" I instantly feel something snap within me as he says that; memories of middle school coming flying into my head and I feel my blood boil a bit.

"What the hell did you just say?" I bite out slowly.

He seemed aware of the sudden change in attitude and just scampers away down the hall around the corner. I grit my teeth a bit and just continue to make my way… somewhere, my mood totally ruined, even more so than before.

* * *

I couldn't find my way to the cafeteria but I _did_ find a rather peculiar spot. It was a rather large flight of stairs, a wall of glass behind it and adjacent to it. Looking past it, it actually showed a small part of the outdoor track and you could even watch a few gym classes outside if there was one. The sun was perfectly overlooking a large empty spot where the stairs went north then wrapped around south; it connected two floors, maybe more; but it was rather secluded and a perfect spot to sit during lunch in my opinion. Sure it was fun eating lunch together with everyone, but just in case I found myself in a rather sour mood, like right now, this would be the perfect place to sit alone. I simply just sit on the steps basking in the sun. I was starving, but I didn't really feel like trying to find my way towards the cafeteria, I'm sure class was starting soon anyways.

"Hikigaya-kun?" I hear a voice call out from above me. I look towards the second flight of stairs as I see Yukinoshita make her way towards me, what was she doing here?

I just give her a blank look and a simple wave, not bothering to answer her; a few nasty memories of my time in middle school still fresh in my mind.

"What brings you here?" She asks as she makes her way towards me, sitting next to me, a bento box beside her.

"I could ask you the same thing." I respond blankly. She gives me a weird look, but just slightly nods, a red tint to her cheeks.

"I… Actually come here to eat my lunch, it's my break and I don't really have anyone to sit with; I find this spot quite relaxing and enjoyable."

I just give her a sardonic grin, "so in other words you don't want anyone to see you eat alone and look like a total outcast?"

She just looks towards the floor, "you don't have to be so blunt about it…"

I just laugh softly to myself, "I'm sure you'll make friends soon enough." And I go to pet her head, "I see you got your cat ears and tail back."

She struggles a bit under my touch and swats my hands away, "I always wear these, it was just that yesterday I forgot to put them on due to time constraints."

I just simply stand up and I see Yukinoshita look up immediately, "leaving so soon?"

"My break actually started awhile ago, it's about time I get back to class." I answer her.

She just nods her head sadly, "Oh… okay."

I just sigh, _don't fall for it, don't fall for it, don't fall for it, don't fall for it._

"I'll see you at club."

She just nods and goes back to picking at her lunch. As I make my way towards the lower floor I look back up and see her staring out the glass wall forlornly; probably used to watching the kids outside, a downcast look on her face. Did she always eat here alone? Every day?

' _I spent my whole first year relatively alone._ '

' _I never really had someone I could call a true friend._ '

I just sigh out, I fell for it.

I look around and see a vending machine. I quickly make my towards it and purchase two drinks, some sort of coffee with a bright yellow can, and the same peach juice-thing I bought last time. I make my up the stairs again and Yukinoshita gives me a surprised look, "care for a drink?" I ask as I dangle the the peach beverage in front of her. She just wordlessly accepts it and looks to me curiously as I take a seat next to her. "I thought you had classes to attend?"

I just shrug my shoulders and lay on the flat open part of the stairs basking in the sunlight once more, "what's _one_ class, right? I'm sure I'll be fine."

She just slightly nods her head, before laughing softly to herself, "you are the spitting image of a delinquent right now."

I just open my eyes and look towards her, "and you're the spitting image of the cliche, love-struck, goody-two-shoes school girl talking to said delinquent."

She just looks away in embarrassment, "I-I am not a goody-two-shoes…"

Out of that whole comment, you _only_ decide to get offended by that part?

I just roll my eyes, "whatever you say."

I go back to closing my eyes and enjoying the warmth of the sun; honestly this was doing wonders for my mood. I found myself lightening up more and more, and that rather annoyed and dark feeling in the pit of my stomach disappearing completely. As to why I was getting so upset? I could easily just say it was because I was hungry and that the those boys were being a nuisance on top of the comment about my name; though deep down, I knew it probably because of these kids' infatuation with Aneki. Especially what that one chuuni said; there was no way in hell I was getting together with my own sister, and neither will they; what makes those kids any better than me? As to why my mood was improving? Even I couldn't tell exactly why. Was it the sun? Was it the drink? Was it… Talking to Yukinoshita?

Suddenly I feel a weight on my chest and I instantly open my eyes to see Yukinoshita laying her head there, her eyes dangerously close to mine, "what the hell are you doing?!"

"The ground hurts my head, you are far more comfortable." And she playfully swipes at my face, as I crane my neck away from her. I use my arms to hold her at bay and intercept her hands.

"I'm not a goddamn pillow!"

No, I take it back; it was most definitely _not_ because of Yukinoshita.

* * *

For the better part of an hour, Yukinoshita and I sat there talking about nonsensical stuff. We stayed in that relatively intimate position for the most part and I even felt a little bit closer to her. She was just like any girl once you get down to it; she had her quirks, sure, but the more bizarre aspects of her disappeared or were just embraced at this point. It was kind of weird once I think back to the first time I met her. Back then she was a complete mess, not really knowing how to hold a conversation or just uncomfortable with being herself. Now, she seemed able to hold a conversation on her own, at least with me, and her personality, although still a bit annoying, was much more reserved and normal… somewhat.

I had skipped only one class and once Yukinoshita's break was over we both went our separate ways, our scheduling a bit off as I'd be making my way towards my next class that had already started over half an hour ago.

"Try not make this a habit Hikigaya-kun, you're studies are still important after all."

The only reason I skipped was because of your lonely self, or are we just going to ignore that?

"Yeah, yeah, whatever; just get going before you make miss yet _another_ class."

She just rolls her eyes at me and makes her way up the stairs as I make my way down; I honestly didn't know how to get to my next class from here.

* * *

Like any other day, the rest of my classes slowly dragged on; my break being the highlight of my day, once again. Soon enough it was time to make my way towards club and I was honestly not too stoked to be there. As I finally make my way into the godforsaken building that our club was located in I go to the clubroom only to see Yukinoshita standing outside the room looking very suspicious as she peeks into the room.

"What are you doing…?" I silently ask as I see Yukinoshita jump in surprise, instantly going for a swipe at my face. I just keep staring at her blankly as I catch her hand and she finally calms down when she sees it was just me.

"Hikigaya-kun!" She whispers in a relieved tone, "come quick! There is some sort of figure in our clubroom!"

I just look at her confused as I drop her arm, "figure?"

She nods her head vigorously as she continues to hide behind the door and peek into the room curiously, "come look!" I just move towards her as I look through the small opening of the door as well, feeling Yukinoshita practically breathing down my neck. Ignoring her close proximity and erratic movements of her tail, I indeed saw a lone figure in our clubroom. He seemed to inspect every part of the room, and seemingly talking to himself; was he some sort of intruder? I mean I was always knew this building begged to be exploited, but I didn't actually think it'd happen.

"Go get a teacher or some sort of authoritative figure." I whisper back to Yukinoshita, a bit of urgency to my voice, "quick!"

She just stands there nervously and looks back to me, "and what about you?"

"I'm sure he's not dangerous, but it wouldn't hurt to have someone around if things go south; I'll just keep guard here in case he moves elsewhere."

"Hey guys! Whatcha-" I instantly look behind me in surprise as I hear Yuigahama's loud voice. Both Yukinoshita and I immediately go to cover her mouth and Yuigahama just looks at us weirdly. I failed to realize the two other figures accompanying her.

"Uhh… this some sort of club greeting I don't know about?"

I look behind her to see Yato and the beta with her as well, "whoa you're way more cute in person!"

"Shhh!" Yukinoshita instantly pipes up again waving her hand in front of their faces in a frantic manner.

I just shake my head and let go of Yuigahama, "Yato there's some kind of intruder in our clubroom; mind backing me up?"

He looks at me confused processing my words before he wordlessly nods, his face getting serious. Guess it'll just be like old times.

"Intruder?! Bro, tell me you're not going to do anything stupid." The beta turns to us, a rather serious and concerned look coming from me. Huh, that was weird; I just assumed he was an obnoxious and dumb kid, but he seemed genuinely worried about us.

"Relax," Yato calls out, "we're not going to do anything rash; we just wanna talk, right Hikigaya?"

I just nod as the two girls look to me in the same way, "there's no reason to jump to conclusions, better to ask and clear up the misunderstanding."

They just nod their heads, not totally convinced but didn't make an effort to stop us. Clearing all that up, I look to Yato who just gives me a nod. I go to open the door rather loudly to make my presence known. The figure instantly turns around, "who goes there?!"

"I should be asking _you_ that, you're kind of in my clubroom and if you don't have a 'request' I'd like to ask you to leave." I call out as I step into the room, alone.

"Heheh… So we meet again, Hachiman!" The figure yells out before rushing me, wait a minute I know that voice! Seeing the sudden movement Yato instantly springs out from the hall, "no, Yato, wait!" But it was too late. Yato intercepts the figure's mad dash with a swift spinning back kick, flooring him instantly. He goes for a follow up but I yank him back with my arms going under his armpits and lifting him up, effectively rendering him useless.

As I set him down he looks at me weirdly, "you know him?"

I just sigh and shake my head a bit, "not really, more like know of." I go make my way to the intruder as he groans out in pain, clutching his chest from the spot where he received the rather harsh blow.

"You know, it's not really a smart idea to go into random rooms acting all suspicious; especially when you're dressed like that." I say helpfully, "you okay?"

"Of course…" he groans out, "you must have a strong entourage backing you, how could've I've been so foolish; I should've known someone as powerful as yourself would have-!"Oi, pay attention when someone is talking to you. I simply just flick his forehead, effectively cutting his monologue off.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"Good, now it looks like I've gotten your attention."

Suddenly both the girls and the beta come walking in hesitantly, "is everything alright?"

"Whoa! Hayato-kun, never knew you were such a badass!"

"Hikki, who is that?"

I just sigh, what a pain in the ass.

* * *

"The… 'Haruno Fanclub Enforcemnt Squad'?" Yato tries to recap.

"Yes we are-!"

"It's just some silly fanclub with these kids obsessing over Aneki." I cut off the chuuni; honestly he was starting to give me a headache.

For the past half hour I had the joy of calming everyone down and explaining the situation. Soon enough I followed with how I met this colorful character and he spent the better part of our time in club explaining who he was and what his fanclub did for activities.

I found myself at the end of the table with Yato and the beta sitting towards the front of the room, Yuigahama to my immediate left and the chunni next to her. Yukinoshita started to lay out her complimentary pastries that she seemed to have an infinite amount of while moving around the table like an excited cat playing the part of a good host, pouring everyone a cup of tea.

"What a mess of a club," Yukinoshita tones out rather bitterly, "and to think _my_ club was almost not accepted as an official club? How does a fanclub constitute as an official club!"

"Well that's simple, we have over twenty active members!"

Great, there are more of these kids? I really need to keep an eye on Aneki more.

"'Aneki'? You have a sister, Hikki?" Oh I guess Aneki and Yuigahama never did meet before.

"Wait, are you saying that you are the great Haruno-sama's brother?! Then that would mean-"

Again, I cut him off, " _no_ , it's just a stupid rumor; why the hell would I be dating my own sister?"

"Well, I mean, you're sister _is_ pretty hot, Hikigaya; I don't see why you're so against me dating her. We could be in-laws!"

Oi! Watch your damn tongue!

"Being an in-law with you? I'd rather kill myself; and you'd probably end up getting bored after a few months. At that point I'd _really_ have to kick your ass."

Yato just scoffs, "rude? Though that may be true for other girls, I wouldn't do that to her; Haruno is different from most girls."

I just give him a blank look, "alright, alright! Fuck…" He just pathetically mumbles under his breath throwing his hands up, "sis-con."

"Anyways," Yukinoshita starts off as she finishes up her duties, "why are all of you here? I'm sure you all must know what club this is."

"Oh, right, right! We have to have a 'request' or something right?"

Yukinoshita just looks surprised at the sudden voice directed to her and I see her recede a bit into herself, unfamiliar with the new face, "y-yes… that is correct."

Her ears stand on end and her tail swishes about erratically before she makes her way towards me, towering over me, yet at the same time using me as some sort of buffer. I continue to explain what this club entitled and what we all did as well as the 'goal' of the club.

"And with that, I'll have to ask you to leave if you don't have a request; you're wasting our precious hours." I mean we weren't _really_ that busy, hell we only had one request so far and I usually found myself wasting the better half of two hours doing nothing here; but they didn't need to know that. In fact I didn't feel like being here at all, all these kids were giving me a headache.

"Then I have a request!" The beta shouts out. I just nod my head towards him to continue, "Yukinoshita-chan, was it? Please consider going out on a date with me!"

"Eh?"

"Eh?!"

"What?"

"You're not being serious are you?"

He just looks confused at us, "what? I'm being totally serious!"

I just heave the most heaviest sigh I have ever heaved in my entire life as I feel my soul practically escape from my body and even flip the bird at me as it floats away, of course it was something along those lines, "well, I'm out; Yukinoshita do what you will with that."

"What about me, Hikki? Don't I get a say too?"

"You're not even part of the club; why the hell would you care?"

"Eh?!" She squeaks out, "but I thought that since I did part of the skits I was also part of club."

"In case you forgot the skits were _part_ of your request." I remind her. She just looks at me like she figured out the Davinci code and nods her head emphatically; honestly…

"Are you being serious Tobe? Don't you think it's wrong to force a girl to go on a date with you with such an underhanded tactic?"

The beta just looks at Yato incredulously, "I didn't force her to do anything!"

"He's right; we don't _have_ to accept any request we receive. I already said I'm out, so that only leaves..."

I glance behind me and look towards Yukinoshita who just listened into the conversation with morbid curiosity all giving us an expectant look. Finally noticing that all the attention was put on her she looks to me quickly then the rest of the group before straightening a bit in surprise.

"O-oh… Don't mind me." She just answers.

I just slowly shake my head, "we're waiting _for_ you, Yukinoshita; what're you going to do with his request?" Honestly, what the hell was she doing, taking notes on how to talk to people?

"Oh, right." She silently mumbles to herself, "I don't really know how to go out on a date, so I don't think I'd be well equipped to help you out on your request."

"That's fine, I'll just show you how. All you have to do is say yes, what'dya say?"

"I-is this request important to you?" She timidly asks.

The beta just looks at her confused, "uh, yeah. I guess?"

She just slowly nods her head, "then… I will accept your request."

She… wasn't actually being serious, was she?

"...that means yes, right? Was that a yes?"

"Oh that's great Tobe! Yukinon is super fun and pretty too!"

Who the hell was 'Yukinon'?

"Wow I can't believe that actually worked, yet I'm over here getting rejected left and right; what kind of sick joke is this?"

"Oh lighten up Hayato-kun, don't worry I won't neglect our friendship! Why don't you try going on a date with Yumiko?"

Who the hell was 'Yumiko'?!

"I _did_ , remember? She just completely ignored me, didn't even give me a response!"

Yuigahama just laughs out, "oh don't take it personally, Hayama-kun, she's just not really a 'people' kind'a person; anyone would be hard pressed to get her to talk to him/her."

I just shake my head again, whatever; not my problem. Who knows, maybe they'll hit it off and become friends. I soon turn my attention towards the chunni who just sat there looking at all of us with a stern expression, his hand under his chin like he was in deep thought.

"As for you? Why're you here?" I finally ask our last member. He ignores me glancing suspiciously at the group mumbling to himself, "hnn, hnn," he nods his head, "a strong group of elites indeed! I must find out their weakness and create a contingency plan once I make it back to HQ."

This is going to be _long_ day.

* * *

 **Again, I'm sorry for the late update; but on a side note you guys can go read my other fic 'Divulging Memories' if you're really bored and just want to... I dunno, read my passive voice? xD**

 **Anyways onto more serious topics; if you haven't noticed this fic has become _extremely_ long, and we're still only less than a week in the story; like what the hell? So there is a bit too much going on at the moment and I'm finding myself rather swamped. I can go with the current flow and dish out content(that's the easy part), but I haven't been writing with a plan the past few chapters, and I'm afraid I'll hit a point where it'll just be too confusing to follow or where people start to lose interest.**

 **Here are my thoughts: If you've read this chapter I've set up specific spots that Hikigaya can go during school; think of this as some sort visual novel with multiple routes. Obviously we haven't discovered _all_ the 'spots', but we will in time(hopefully). The poll is really to see which character or 'route' I'm going next and just like with any game, the more time you spend with a certain the character the higher chance you have of getting with that character. Obviously this won't be perfect nor executed very well, but it's what I have in mind and how I can actually organize this mess of a story a bit more coherently.**

 **So in the morning he's with Haruno, whether something happens with her or not, I will decide, or depending from what happened in previous days.**

 **Then there is Homeroom; that sets up what he will do during break(mostly), that includes Hayama's clique(a.k.a Yui, Miura, Tobe/Hayama) and Kawasaki and how he interacts with them; as well as a sort of 'recap' for past events.**

 **Then there's break where we can stay in the class with the clique/Yui(individually) or wander to the spot with Yukinoshita, but we'd have to skip class. That certain class I'm thinking will have one of the more popular girls(from the poll) and we could spend time with her after break(in the class), but will be impossible if we go with Yukinoshita.**

 **Next is afterschool, mostly we'll be at club, but if something else pops up we can spend that time of the day with whoever, doing whatever.**

 **Further is late-afternoon-ish; that's when we do the more intimate of things or be fulfilling requests, either or. If we take too long, we'll have to blow Haruno and the whole 'promise' of coming home early. So again, choose one or the other.**

 **Then comes night where we're with Haruno or Yukinoshita/Komachi depending 'cause they live in the same complex.**

 **Honestly I might just not do that at all 'cause it seems way too hard and a bit too much work for a silly crack fic, but hey, who knows... could be fun; maybe. Again just my thoughts.**

 **On the topic of classes, I have no idea how Japanese schooling system works; so the scheduling of the classes was based off my own personal high school experience a.k.a North-Eastern U.S.**

 **Thanks for all the support and continued interest in this story; hope you guys are all still enjoying yourselves.**

 **-Ausko**

 **P.S**

 **I can do monologues, dialogues, trilouges, hell even 4-logues; but anything more is seriously aids. Hope that last scene wasn't too clustered.**


	10. Assimilating With Madness

**Why hello there boys and girls... been awhile hasn't it? I... don't really know what to say other than I'm sorry; but I am a slave to the real world(unfortunately). I would love nothing more than to be able to just lock myself in my room and write, but we all that's not possible. Anyways enough of that; I really did miss you guys and I read all my reviews, don't worry. I have email notifications so I cant miss them, haha.**

 **Welcome new followers/favoriters! Hope you guys are still enjoying the story. Also for the reviewers; you know how much I love you guys, hope I responded to all of them, if I somehow I missed you I am terribly sorry! :(**

 **This chapter is... very troubling for me. I don't know if I even should've uploaded it; I may take it down and scrap it... depending on how you guys receive it. To all the OG's out there, its kind of like the original chapter 6, but not as forced; would love to hear your guys' thoughts on it.**

 **Onto more happier topics, the amount of reviews/favorites/follows... Honestly my mind is blown, truly you guys are amazing! I may say this every chapter but it doesn't make me any less sincere when I say it! Also poll results are astounding!**

 **1st place - Yukinoshita! (no surprise xD)**

 **2nd place - Haruno! (A bit suprised tbh)**

 **3rd place - Kawasaki! (H-how? I didn't even plan to use her!)**

 **So that's that, expect to see 2nd and 3rd best grill the next few chapters. This chapter may be a bit of a change of pace and a surprise; but I promise humor is the main focus of this story.**

 **With the formalities out of the way onto the guest reviews! Feel free to skim now.**

 **Hre : **Haha! Glad you enjoy my stories enough to get popcorn ready! Hope this chapter does not disappoint.

 **Guest : **HAHAHAHA! Oh god, you know it's so tempting to just troll everyone and let it happen; but rest assured it probably won't. There's like a... 3.2% chance of that happening. It'd just ruin my future plans and other stuff. Though if I feel like trolling maybe I will.

 **Fanfic Critic : **You are right, I apologize. At the time I uploaded the chapter(as well as respond to the reviews), Kawasaki was, in fact leading, by 2 votes. Believe me or not; I don't care. Especially after reading that whole transparent 'passive-aggressive' statement, I just don't really care for what you have to say anymore. I get that you were unhappy about that but act a bit more mature will you? Ridicule me all you want, I don't care; but don't go after my readers.

 **R-tard Alert : **I'm baffled; honestly I am. This guy is so much of a tool that people actually call him out from another anonymous review? My respect just dropped a bit; can we not try to start shit in the review sections? **I will turn off anonymous reviews if I have to.**

 **Guest(2) : **Haha, no worries. I didn't mean to come off as if they were bothersome; quite the opposite actually! I really loved the amount of reviews and the time you took to write those out, really. Also yeah; I guess there is no surefire way to prove who's right and who's wrong, huh? But again, I am not very knowledgeable when it comes to these kinds of things so I will take your word for it. TWGOK? I'm... not sure I understand that acronym; though if someone else has done this before me, I apologize. I did not mean to steal his/her idea. It was just a thought that hasn't even been executed yet.

 **Guest(3)** **:** Hey, thanks for the compliment man! Also glad to see you enjoying the story. The possibility of a Harem is very slim, as I do think those are rather infufilling in the long run. They are fun to read and write, but eventually people just get frustrated with all the beating around the bush, haha. LOL 'sink that ship'

 **NTR** **:** Yeah, alright 'macho' man; lets take a step back from the cringe alright? ... No, no... I apologize, I didn't mean that, I'm sorry. It's just reading some of these reviews kind of put me in a bad mood. Sorry that you didn't seem to enjoy the chapter and the story any further. Thank you for reading my story thus far.

 **Guest(4)** **:** Haha! I don;t think it's the best story ever, I'll give that award to Godric Damp's "My SNAFU Afterstory". Seriously that fic is fucking amazing and I love it.

 **Tumms : **A thought that certainly went through my head; but probably not going to happen. I have a few options I can go with for the date but I haven't decided exactly what yet.

 **Ugh** **:** You know... out of all the reviews that I have ever read, this one really hurt the most, haha. Anyways, sorry about... all of those things; it's already written so I can't change it, well I could but why bother, right? Thank you for reading up until this point; and I really appreciate that you really enjoyed the story until recently! So again, thank you, I hope I can hear from you once again, maybe. No hard feelings, I appreciate your honesty.

 **Khan** **:** Haha, do you? Well I have a thousand thoughts on what I can do with it, I just can't seem to really decide on one particular outcome. Well, yes it'd probably be good to, but I read all my reviews and appreciate all of them; except for the obvious flames. But if they are negative, constructive reviews I appreciate them all the same. True that is a valid argument but at that point no one really wins, but I see where you're coming from. Haha, is that so? Well best of luck! Keeping up on an update schedule is actually much harder than I anticipated, so that is smart!

 **Pewdepew** **:** Hey no worries man I got them! I recieve email notifications for all stuff -related. I was just very busy and couldn't respond to my PM or reviews quickly or at all, to be completely honest.

 **Disclaimer: I do not own 'My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU' or anything related to it.**

* * *

Club continued on without much deviation from the norm; that is if you ignore the sudden increase in numbers. After hearing out the beta's ridiculous request and the acceptance of Yukinoshita, we finally made our way back to the Chunni and why he was here in the first place. Apparently, he was somewhat of an underground manga artist. He gave us various samples of his work that were quite honestly very well drawn although as for the content itself, it was rather…

"Uh… Well the attention to detail is nice, I guess?" Yuigahama the first to break the silence as the Chunni stands at the front of the room, the rest of us sitting down watching his theatrics. He pushes up his glasses and gives her a smirk.

"Fufufu, I am actually quite proud of these if I do say so myself." I gently put down his sample, not being able to stomach anymore of his rather lude content, shaking my head in exasperation. I look over to Yukinoshita who eagerly takes in all of its contents with morbid curiosity as her eyes fly across each panel, a definitive blush to her cheeks, her eyes going wide. I immediately snatch it out of her hands and place it with mine on the table, leaving it face down. Anymore of this and she'll end up like her sister in no time.

"Honestly, isn't this just softcore porn?" Yato lazily responds, his hands holding up his chin his eyes turning into lines. He seemed extremely bored and rather unfazed with the content being displayed in front of fim as he flips through it with his other hand.

The Chuuni instantly bristles like a jolt of electricity went through him, "t-this is art! Don't compare to it such lazy filth." He yells out, "2-D girls take time and effort!"

Yato just gives me a depressing look, screaming 'this is what you have to deal with everyday?' and I just wordlessly nod; "alright, I'm outta here. You coming Tobe?"

The beta just stands at attention immediately, just as eager to leave but goes up to Yukinoshita, "so it really is a date then, right?"

She in turns just nods, a bit oblivious as to why he was acting so bashful, "I will leave it in your capable hands."

"So… should we exchange numbers or… something?"

"You will be able to find me here after school, you may come at your earliest convenience." She casually blows off the beta's question without realizing how much of a rejection that sounded like. Yukinoshita just gives the two boy a slight bow as they leave the room. A rather depressing aura coming off the two of them.

"So what exactly are we looking at these for again?" I ask.

Zaimo-something just straightens himself out, "I'm glad you asked Hachiman!" He boisterously responds, before flattening and recedes a bit into himself, "actually writing isn't really my forte, and I wanted your guys' opinion on the plot."

I just look at him incredulously, "not the content of the story? The drawings? Is this thing even legal to print?"

He, again, adjusts his glasses and gives me a smirk, "if you're really careful and censor the right sort of stuff without showing _too_ much, you can get away with it; just slap on a mature rating or even just a warning, and I'm set."

I'm not exactly sure that's something you should be proud of…

"So… is this your request then?" Yukinoshita ponders, in which the Chunni nods enthusiastically, "well then, I guess it wouldn't hurt to accept yours as well; even if I was so rudely interrupted," she suddenly shoots me a pout, "I think I have the gist of the story down."

"Why don't you just go online for this sort of thing? Aren't there websites that deal with these sort of things?" I ask, ignoring Yukinoshita's comment.

The Chuuni once again falters a bit his head drooping low, "n-no way, those people are utterly ruthless…"

This time Yukinoshita speaks up, "although I find your drawings rather intriguing the plot of the whole thing is just atrocious," she bluntly states in a blank tone, "to be completely honest, it physically hurt to finish. I wonder, is this the kind of trash that Komachi reads?" She silently trails off a finger on her chin as she looks up, "also," she looks towards the Chuuni, "have you even seen a girl's anatomy before? The proportions of these characters are absurd."

I see her quickly glance to her own body, then to a panel of the 'manga' that was left exposed on the table, showing a rather robust girl, in envy. Don't worry nekomata, even if you're as flat as the Kanto Plains, I'm sure you have hope left. Just hang in there!

I see the Chuuni recoil in horror, "c-can you tell me exactly what was so horrible about it?"

"Well for starters…" She goes to pick up some of the panels once again, a blush forming on her face as she stares a bit _too_ long at them before continuing, " the subject matter comes first in a sentence, did you even proofread your work?"

Even though I was inclined to agree with all her points, seeing Yukinoshita become so blunt was a surprise in of itself, I guess she really took these 'requests' seriously. I glance curiously to her as a look of seriousness and deep concentration dons her visage as she keeps skimming the Chunni's work.

" _That is why I made the service club, it's hard being alone, and I want to help others overcome their problems."_

"I just wanted to… y'know make it easy to read; so anyone could pick it up." The Chuuni whines in an attempt to justify his work.

"That can be accomplished with the proper use of our language," she swiftly cuts him off, "moving onto Kanji, you're abusing them." She simply states.

"The Kanji 'power' can not be read as 'ability', if that was what you were even going for," she suddenly goes to a specific panel of a girl shouting, barely dressed, and points to it, "also there is no Kanji for 'nightmare' in 'bloody nightmare slasher'.

"W-well you see-" The Chuuni, again, tries to pathetically justify is rather horrendous work.

"Also why does the Heroine take her clothes off here? There's really no valid point to this."

"What about fan service..." He tries once again.

"You haven't even finished writing this, shouldn't you at least do that before letting others review it?"

At this point the Chuuni was sprawled out on the floor, practically foaming at the mouth.

"Alright there, Yukinoshita," I go to pluck the vivid imagery from her hands once again as I see her eyes start to furiously wander again, "I think you've done more than enough." I also don't need you becoming a raging bag of hormones like your sister either.

"But there is still more I have to say, this is-"

I raise my hand to cut her off, "it's fine, I don't think he can take anymore." And I point to the unmoving figure on the floor to emphasize my point.

"A-atleast he knows a lot of difficult Kanji." Yuigahama tries to cheer him up.

"My sister has a better vocabulary than this sorry excuse of literature." Yukinoshita responds.

I suddenly see the Chuuni slowly rotate his head to look at me, tears streaming down his face, "H-Hachiman… As a member of the same sex, surely you can appreciate my work, right?"

I give out a small chuckle and a sympathetic smile. I see his eyes brighten up as he looks to me with hope, holy music playing in the background as sparkles form around his eyes and face, "no, it was pretty terrible. Seems like a rip-off of any other run-of-the-mill mangas out there."

A flash of lightning dashes all the sparkles as his face turns into horror, a depressive purple aura surrounding him as the words 'devastated' appear above his head in cracked stone. How any of those theatrics even happened? Hell if I know.

"Ah! Hikki!" Yuigahama disapprovingly tones out.

Yukinoshita just shakes her head and gives me a disappointed look, "even I thought that was a bit much."

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?! I don't want to hear that coming from you!

I go to the Chuuni and lightly pat him on his shoulder, "eh… all that matters are the pictures right? Who cares if the story blows; people will still buy it."

The Chuuni slowly looks up to me with a look of astonishment before it slowly morphs into a genuine smile, and I couldn't help but smile back.

* * *

The four of us soon found our way towards the gated entrance of the school and the Chuuni is the first to break the silence, "when it is finished… will you guys be willing to read it?"

"Are you a masochist?" Yuigahama comments.

"You want to go through all of that again?" I join in.

"Yes," he responds in a serious tone, "even if you guys utterly destroyed any sense of self-worth I had; you guys actually took the time to read it. I don't have any friends that would do the same, and that really made me happy."

I see Yukinoshita eyes go wide with those words as she gives off a genuine smile, "of course! We will humbly accept your requests if the need arises."

The Chuuni just nods seriously and give us a lighthearted smile before he sets off; both the girls continuing on their own conversation as they too make their way towards their own destination. I just silently look up into the sky as I hear the laughter of the two girls, before following.

Huh, I guess this club really _did_ help out some people.

* * *

"Say, Yukinoshita," I call out as I walk with my clubmates, "are you serious about going out on a date with Tobe?"

It felt really weird calling the beta by his first name, but I'm pretty sure Yukinoshita wouldn't know who I was talking about if I didn't.

"Who?" She turns to me in wonder. Oi, oi… you seriously accepted a date from someone and can't even remember his name? Honestly I felt kind'a bad for the beta, he was in for a world of disappointment.

"Nevermind, forget I said anything." I casually comment. She just nods her head, turning back to the conversation she was having with Yuigahama. The two girls go at it once again for a couple of minutes as I slowly recede behind them. It really left me with a feeling of fluffiness as I see the two girls actively talk to one another and seemingly enjoying themselves. As I stare at the back of Yukinoshita I feel what I assume what a father would feel once they see his children all grown up. Even if Yukinoshita was usually a rather eccentric girl, she was still a girl; hearing her talk about her middle school years during the break we shared together brought a whole new perspective to her that I wasn't aware of before. If she could at least make one friend besides me it'd honestly put me at ease.

"Say Yukinon, what're your plans for the future; you know, like you dream job or whatever."

"My plans…?" She tones out in wonder, "I haven't given it much thought to be completely honest, maybe a something like a veterinarian?"

"Ehh…" Yuigahama responds, "I guess I could see you doing that, with your love of cats and all!"

"Is that so?" Yukinoshita turns to look towards the sky for a moment before going back to Yuigahama, "and what of you, Yuigahama-san?"

"Oh! Well I'll probably try to get into a culinary school with my love of food and wanting to follow in my mother's footsteps and whatnot…" She answers while rubbing the back of her head.

They both turn towards me and ask me a similar question, they take a few moments about guessing what I'd do before they actually ask their question.

"Maybe like… a jail warden?"

"Ahaha! Right? With his strict demeanor and gruff attitude, that'd totally fit!." Yuigahama makes a stern face and goes onto mimicking my tone of voice, before continuing, "or maybe like a secret spy!"

She goes onto putting her hands together mimicking a gun and starts propping herself onto street signs and other various objects, making gun noises with her mouth as her hand mimics the kickback of a gun.

"Hmm… how about a therapist? He is rather good listener and intuitive when he wants to be."

I just slightly shake my head as I go to move in between the two girls, breaking their little fantasy session, "sorry, but all those guesses are wrong."

"Eh… so do you have something in mind?"

"This should be interesting."

I give them a cocky grin as I stay silent for a few moments, both girls leaning in with anticipation.

"I want to be a trophy-husband!" I blankly state; it was a joke of course.

Both girls instantly falter and drop to floor as if a large object was dropped onto their heads and start yelling obscenities at me, as well as going back to guessing more reasonable career choices to the point where they started to even argue with each other. I just laugh along with them and stay rather silent through their exchange.

To have the ability to dream and wonder what kind of future you'll have along with the power to make it happen, huh? What a nice sentiment...

The two girls continue talking amongst themselves as I recede a bit behind them once again. Yukinoshita turns and laughs at Yuigahama's useless babble coming out her mouth, she catches my eye as I've probably been staring at her and she gives me a small smile. I couldn't help but return her smile. Not wanting to impede on their 'girl time' and hoping Yukinoshita could use this chance to solidify her friendship I casually make up an excuse to separate myself from them.

They both look at me in surprise as well as with a bit of questioning, but nod regardless. As I go to make my way towards my own scenic route, Yuigahama calls to both Yukinoshita and me, "hey! I know, as a thank you for helping me with my request, why don't you guys come and visit my mom's patisserie? It's not far from our school." She excitedly speaks.

I look to her with my eyebrows raised, "uh, yeah sure. Why not? Though could we do it another day?"

"If you insist," Yukinoshita follows up, "we can take a day off of a club and go right after school if that is easier."

"Great!" Yuigahama yells out, wrapping her arms around the both of us and bringing us in a group hug, "anytime is fine!"

After that little bonding session I, once again, make my way towards my apartment on a separate route from the two girls. As I walk through the streets I stumble upon a local pet store; as I look through the glass from the outside I see a couple of pups on display with people cooing at them and saying how 'cute' they were. True, they were adorable, even I could admit that, but I could see the desperation in their eyes. How they tried their hardest to look cute and become adopted, a surefire way to escape their small, caged world.

I go up to the glass and drop to a crouch as I lay my palm on the window pane. A small pup comes towards me in fascination as it puts both of its paws on the same place as my palm, standing upright. I couldn't hear any noises from outside but I could see it barking at me. I look to its eyes and I swear I could see it give me a knowing look; almost as if it was _sorry_ for me. I look at the pup blankly as something stirs within me.

"You too, huh?" I silently breathe out.

I see him let out a single bark, before seemingly growing bored and moving on. I continue making my way towards home as I casually glance up to the sky, my eyes focusing on a cloud drifting ever so slowly through the sky.

* * *

As I make my way into the small apartment I call out my arrival and proceed to take of my shoes. Not getting a response I make my way towards the living room; not seeing Aneki I casually open our window, well… it was more like a sliding door of glass and walk out onto the small balcony and aimlessly look down towards the streets of Chiba. I enjoy the setting sun along with the cool autumn breeze, my hair getting slightly in my face. I hear someone come out as well and slide the door shut; not even bothering to turn around I greet my sister.

"Yo, Aneki."

She casually walks up besides me and leans herself on the guardrail of the balcony as well, "you're home early today."

I simply turn to look at her as she stares into the setting sky as well. Her hair was a bit damp as it clung to her face slightly, being a bit more straight and longer than it usually was when it was dried; she was currently in the process of drying her hair with a towel from around her neck. She was also dressed, if you can even consider it that, in just her underwear and a baggy chemise that clung slightly to her damp frame. I shake my head and stare off into the distance too.

"Yeah, well, club ended a bit early today." I comment. I feel her brush a few strands of my hair away from my face, as I struggle a bit under touch in annoyance, slapping her hands away before eventually relenting.

"That's surprising." She comments as she continues to play with my hair. I keep my eyes on a rather free-form cloud as it glides through the air silently.

"I also ended up running into your 'fanclub'," I start off as I feel her stop her ministrations for a brief moment before resuming, "real handful that group is."

"I did tell you they could get rowdy."

"Yeah, well they're all complete nutjobs; some of them even tried to ambush me because of that stupid rumor circling around." Aneki stops with my hair completely as I turn to look and face her, her rather accentuated figure standing out quite brazenly.

She quickly looks towards me in worry, "you didn't do anything to them, did you?"

I casually wave her off as I look back towards the street, "nah, not really. Self-defense mostly, though there was no one around to see any of it happen, which was surprising."

I hear her release a breath, "well, don't go making a name for yourself; if you got kicked out from _another_ school, you know how otou-san will get."

I scoff, "at that point I might as well pack my bags. Chichi-ue will be the first one to send my ass to some all boys boarding school, overseas to boot. Something about an attitude adjustment."

"Right," she agrees softly, "then I wouldn't be able to see you as much."

"Wouldn't that be a shame." I comment a bit bitterly.

She grabs my face and forces it me to look at her, "yes, it would be," she answers, "this will be my last year of highschool; after this who knows what'll happen? Will father let me attend uni or will I have to be part of the family business? After this year we won't see each other as much."

I just look into her eyes as they get a bit of sadness to them, "I'm sure if you really wanted to he'd let you attend uni, as for me, my future is already set in stone." I softly grab her hands and and lower them as I look back to the same free-form cloud. As I mention my future I think back to the conversation I shared with the girls. I get sense of bittersweetness; what _would_ I want to do if I had the chance to choose?

Ever since I can remember, our family has been well-off; though as a kid I couldn't tell the difference. If you were raised in the upper class, that becomes the norm to you. Both my parents were always busy people, even to this day I only saw or talked to them on rare occasions. With that our family situation was… complicated to say the least. Father was a man who had been steeled and tempered from the cutthroat attitude of Japanese businesses and businessmen; not one to easily bend his way of thinking and who always had a card up his sleeve. From the few stories shared to me from our housekeepers and a few magazine articles I've stumbled upon, Father had inherited his father's stocks and share of the company and built his way up from there, there were a few articles of corruption and shady business deals, but I could never find out if they were true or just slander. He was a man who showed me little emotion, much less warmth; though he always did have a soft spot for Aneki. A rather strict and cutthroat kind of man; as for mother she was… elusive. Just like Aneki she was a bit of an airhead and clumsy at times, but I was almost certain that was all an act. A charade to keep the appearance of father being the businessman and mother being the clueless housewife; but she too was well versed into the family business and held a bit of prestige in the close ring of Japanese socialites. She was a caring mother, more than father at least and understood Aneki and me Not saying that Father didn't make an effort to spend time with us, it just seemed like mother tried harder, if even by a bit. I was told that the two met through an arranged marriage, but I never really asked for the details.

I continue staring at that simple and carefree cloud, "must be nice."

"What?"

"Nothing."

I prop myself up from the railing and start to head back inside, "I'm going to wash up, I'll get started on dinner after I'm done."

* * *

After washing myself I ease myself into the bathtub and feel all the tension and rather dark and melancholic feelings start to dissipate; from the rumors surrounding me and my relations with Yuigahama and Aneki specifically, not being able to eat a proper lunch, the damn fanclub, the fleeting feeling of a hollow future, and not to mention… the date Yukinoshita was going on. All of these suddenly returning at full force when I came home really caught me off guard and I seriously needed a breather. I think back to Haru-nee and that one night we spent in the city, how serious she was being about getting together. I sink my head a bit into the water, my nose staying above the water line as I close my eyes.

" _I can't believe it; you're actually being serious right now."_

" _Dead serious."_

If anyone were to see her antics and rather obsessive disposition towards me, from an outside perspective it'd seem like an innocent but strange way of a sister trying to annoy her brother; or to others who read into it, as borderline creepy.

Her and I have always been close, especially as kids, but she wasn't always so openly affectionate. Even if we became rather distant in the past years that wasn't anything compared to our pre-teen years; a time we both don't like to talk about, nor bring up. It was around the time she entered middle-school; it wasn't uncommon to keep moving due to my both of my parent's work. Back then, we were still well off, but nowhere near as successful as we are now. During that time Father was trying to secure a higher position of power and was drowned in his own ambition. He hopped from prefecture to prefecture making business deals and connections with the 'right people'. We often found ourselves moving a bit, but mother decided to stay in one place, handling business affairs in our main area of influence during those years. Father decided that I'd be able to learn a thing or two about the world of business by getting involved in the most gritty and demanding part of it: talking to others and making relations. So for about two years I accompanied father on his trips, attending whatever grade school and middle school that was available in the area; I would usually return to an empty household where I was forced to learn how to take care of myself and father or find myself with him during his outings. It goes without saying that I didn't make many friends those years.

After our little 'expedition' was over we returned to our original house and our family was whole again. Haru-nee was in her last year of middle school while I was entering in my second at that time, later down the road is the time Yato and I met. When both father and I finally arrived home, mother and Haru-nee greeted us at the door with open arms. Mother and father went on their way to speak of business proposals as well as other nonsensical husband/wife topics, while Haru-nee assaulted me in a big hug. I was honestly caught off guard, at the time, as to how much she grew in those two years. Instead of the small clingy sister I remembered, I saw a developing young girl. I always thought of my sister as 'cute', but at that time other words came flying into my head, it was almost if she was a completely different person.

As I caught her in my arms, I was also painfully aware of other developments she had made and being a pubescent teen who, not only struggled to make friends, did not talk to or even touch girls around my age, I was assaulted with feelings and thoughts foreign to me. I'm not sure how Haru-nee felt, but I'm sure it was something along those lines as well. Needless to say the following weeks were… awkward, but gratifying nonetheless. Both Haru-nee and I expressed how much we missed each other with equal enthusiasm and we spent the better part of our free time catching up on what happened the past two years. We tried being as intimate as we were as kids but it was painfully obvious that we weren't kids anymore as we grew more and more aware of our changing bodies and urges. We never shared a bath again, we stopped ourselves from the more intimate displays of affection we did as kids, and after a few instances we also stopped sleeping in the same bed, though she would still find herself in mine after a bad dream or when both our parents were out.

Still, it wasn't so bad, so why do neither of us talk about that time? Well there was one instance in particular that really messed up our dynamic and left us in a rather questionable predicament. After this event, Haru-nee became a bit more pushy and more aggressive with her 'affections'; we somehow crossed a line and we couldn't go back.

* * *

[Around five year ago]

 _A few months after father and I came home from his business trips, Haru-nee and I had grown accustomed to each other once again. Though it didn't feel as natural as it did when we were kids, but nonetheless we still maintained a healthy relationship and were close, all things considered. Seeing Haru-nee again after two years really surprised me; her hair had grown out giving her a very girly look. She started wearing makeup that accentuated her already 'cute' looks, not to mention her getting taller and growing in other areas. More often than not, I found my mind and eyes wandering towards her; something attracted to me towards her._

 _Of course, I was still her brother and she was still my sister so I would never actually act upon these impulses, but it didn't mean I didn't think about them every so often. She seemed a lot more sociable and confident; the image of the crying little girl who couldn't stand being alone and stuck to my side like glue seemed like a distant memory, almost as if they weren't the same person._

" _What? Is there something on my face?" I hear Haru-nee call out, giving me a weird look before wiping at her face furiously. We were out in the garden away from the rest of the house in a secluded gazebo. This was a place we often played at as kids, there was even a rather large fountain nearby that spouted water in a pond, domesticated fish swimming about in it. Various wild flowers sprinkling around the healthy lawn as well as well maintained flowerbeds that gave the area an abundance of color. It was currently mid-summer and the bright sunlight just begged for an outdoor activity._

 _I just shake my head, "no, no. I was just thinking is all." I finally answer her. She just hums in questioning giving me a weird look as she goes back to eating various fruits off a fruit tray that was brought out. She was wearing a white sundress and her hair was tied up due to the extreme heat, honestly it fit her pretty well._

" _Say, you said that you basically learned to cook when you were gone with otou-san, right?" Haru-nee brings up once a comfortable silence befalls us once again._

 _I look to her in surprise, "well, yeah I guess." I hesitantly respond, true I did learn how to cook and do other various household chores during the time I spent with Chichi-ue, though it was the bare minimum and complete basics._

" _Ehh~," she tones out in wonder, "you think you can teach me? I've always wanted to bake a cake!"_

" _A c-cake?" I falter a bit as her eyes shine brightly in the sun, looking towards me in wonder._

 _She nods her head excitedly up and down, with her arms tucked towards her chest, a small smile donning face as it shows signs of anticipation, she leans towards me expectantly holding my gaze so I wouldn't be able to refuse her. I softly laugh to myself, even after all these years she was still a child at heart, huh?_

" _Yeah, sure, we can try; though I've never really baked anything before." I shake my head a bit but smile nonetheless._

" _Yay!" She yells out excitedly as she goes in for a hug. I have to take a step back to support the sudden weight on me as I gingerly return the hug, painfully aware of her body pressed up against mine; the intense body heat radiating off of her._

 _I laugh out loud at her antics and just spin her bit once I get a better hold on her. She squeals a bit and leans even more of her weight into me, her face coming adjacent to mine, our cheeks almost touching and I could detect a hint of a fruity aroma, probably from her breath and the juices around her mouth._

 _As I set her down we both look into each other's eye and we lock gazes for a few moments; the sudden urge to lean towards her hitting me once again, but I forcefully tear my gaze away and stalk off towards our house, "we better get started if we want to make it before Chichi-ue and Haha-ue come home." I call over my shoulder, before I force my hands to mouth to rid the thoughts I had previously as well as to stop the sweet aroma from invading senses further._

" _R-right!" She calls out, before following after me, a few paces behind. I didn't have it in me to look back, afraid to see what kind of face she was making._

* * *

" _Ehh…" Haru-nee once again tones out in wonder, "If we need to bake it for 30-40 minutes at 350 degrees, can't we just double the heat and have it done twice as fast?"_

 _I smack my knee into the one of the drawers of the island in surprise from the sheer stupidity that just entered my ears. I was currently poking holes into the finished batter on a large baking pan; there was no way she was being serious right? What kind of dumbass logic was that?_

" _T-that's not how it works… Haru-nee." I try to correct her mistake as softly as I could._

" _Really?" She tilts her head in question, a finger placed on her chin, "makes sense to me."_

 _I just slightly shake my head, "look, there are specific directions we have to follow for a reason Haru-nee. If we try to rush things the cake won't turn out correctly, then this would all go to waste."_

 _She just comes bounding up to me as she dips her finger into the mixing bowl of leftover batter and puts in her mouth sucking on it a bit; again, I instantly turn away and force my hand to mouth as I force myself to rid the dark thoughts forming in my head._

" _I wouldn't particularly mind, this was fun!"_

 _She goes for another serving of leftover batter, and continues eating it raw, "oi, oi! Don't eat so much, it'll upset your stomach, there are raw eggs in there!" I instantly scold her as I go to grab her hand force it away from her mouth, my thoughts from before completely forgotten at the moment. Honestly, wasn't she the older the one?! Was she always this useless?!_

 _During our little 'baking' session, this girl couldn't handle the most simple of tasks. She said she wanted to learn, so I tried to be interactive with it and let her do a few of the steps herself, but she ended up failing miserably at everything she tried. She even thought that 'egg whites' were in fact the shell! Like what the hell?! I tried letting her beat the batter but she ended up whisking too hard and got all the batter on the walls, her clothes, my clothes, and both of or hairs. Needless to say I forced her to sit and watch on the side as she cleaned up her mess. She tried to weasel her way out of it, but I said that if she didn't clean her mess up she wouldn't be able to have any cake_ and _I wouldn't teach her anything else. She grumbly accepted and started wiping down the kitchen as I started up a new batch from scratch._

 _As I still held her hand away from her mouth, she suddenly turns it towards me, "it's good, you should t-try some." She shyly avoids my gaze as her face started to turn red. I feel my face get hot as well and I swallow a lump in my throat, the urge to turn away and cover my mouth once again springing up, but I just wordlessly nod and she raises her finger towards me as I still held one of her arms with my own, my other resting on her lower back to stop her from eating more batter and running away, but now it seemed a bit… perverse. I slowly wrap my mouth around her finger and suck a bit while I wrap my tongue around her finger to get as much batter off as I could. I see her squeam a bit before she lets out a soft pant and I instantly pop the finger out from my mouth._

 _At this point I felt something stir within me, something was definitely wrong about this; I once again turn around and force my hand to my mouth as I feel the urge to dry heave come up, but I force it down as to not give her the wrong idea. I take a few shallow breaths into my hand and I go back to the baking pan and quickly popping it into the pre-heated oven and shutting it, setting a timer for 45 minutes. My mind was still in a daze and I was most definitely aroused from that experience. I needed to get out of here and away from her before something regrettable happens._

 _As I make my way past her, she grabs my wrists and forces me towards her. Not expecting the sudden movement, I stumble a bit into her and she catches some of my momentum and I end up forcing into the corner of the L-shaped cooking counter. With her back pressed up against the corner I was towering over her, though at this point we were about the same height as she was starting to hit her growth spurt. I look to her in surprise as my face gets heated again, she gives me a bashful look before it turns into something sinister and she forces her mouth onto mine in a desperate and frustrated manner. I instantly open my eyes in surprise and struggle a bit against her but she held a firm grip on me, and I slowly succumbed to my previous thoughts, forcing her deeper into the corner as I too return her frantic kissing, picking her up in the process and setting her on the countertop as she towered above me, both of her hands holding my cheeks as her tongue-_

* * *

"Hachiman?" I hear Aneki's voice call out, was that in the memory or in real life? I take a moment to clear the fog in my mind and I slowly sit up in the tub, noticing my rather pruny hands and skin. How long was I in here?

"Hachiman! Are you okay? You've been in there for over two hours!" I hear Aneki's voice frantically call out as she's banging the door. I go to stand up and call out to her, wrapping my bathrobe around me, but the memories come flying into my head, the senses, the noises, the feeling: everything. I instantly put my hands to my mouth in a nostalgic fashion and go over to the sink as I start dry heaving over the sink, nothing but spit and dry coughs coming out; nothing to vomit out as I haven't eaten anything.

I hear the door suddenly burst open and I feel a pair of hands rubbing my back. After a few minutes I get my breathing back under control and calm myself down. I turn on the faucet and start rinsing my mouth as well as splash some water from my face; what the hell was that all about?!

"Feeling better?" I slowly nod my head as I hear Aneki's voice from behind me, and I turn around to face her. As I look at her I see an afterimage of Aneki in that white sundress and long hair dance in my vision and I instantly feel nauseous again. I quickly brush past my sister my hands once again going to cover my mouth and nose. I could hear her calling out to me but I ignore it and quickly make my way towards my room. I shut the door and lock it, quickly getting changed into some clothes.

I hear knocking once again at my door as I hear Aneki's soft voice call out from behind it. I simply mull over the recent events happening as my mind wanders, focusing on the girl behind the door. Should I open it? Or keep it closed?

" _No, it's just a stupid rumor, why the hell would I be dating my own sister?"_

" _There was no way in hell I was getting together with my own sister, and neither will they; what makes those kids any better than me?"_

" _I guess there are worst things to be known in history for, right?"_

" _Now, I know that it may come off that I hate my sister…_

 _...So, no, I don't hate my sister, in fact I lover her dearly, more than anything."_

I laugh to myself a bit, maybe I'm the crazy one after all, huh?

* * *

 **Should he open the door or not? :D**

 **Well... Again, the whole mood is bit more serious and dark than what you guys are probably used to, but I did try my best to allude to it under all the humor of previous chapters; it was this chapter that I outright stated it. For awhile I've been trying to fit the backing of Hikigaya and his state of affairs, with that I mean mostly his parents, Haruno, and Kaori.**

 **If you guys are confused onto the specific timeline its something like this:**

 **Japanese grade schoolers go up to our(U.S) 6th grade. Hikigaya leaves with his father during this time, he returns to his house during Japan's second year of middleschool(our 8th grade.) A year later he transfers into his prep school for his last year of middleschool(our 9th grade). The following year he is in Kaihin, his first year of highschool(our tenth grade) and gets expelled, the year after is Sobu or present time, which he is in his second year(or our 11th grade). Haruno is a third year(our 12th grade) and is going to graduate.**

 **Onto the subject matter itself... Since Haruno is currently leading after Yukinoshita I thought I'd take it bit more seriously, but wincest is obviously not an easy feat to accomplish without completely weirding out the writer and readers. Also people have been suggesting lime? Lemon? Citrus? I don't know what you kids(I'm a kid myself dont worry.) call it nowadays; but that was my attempt at it... I guess.**

 **Again, I feel very conflicted with this chapter, on one hand I feel it necessary, but on another I don't think it fits at all. Would love to hear your guys' thoughts. Don't worry I won't do a revision if things go awry, haha.**

 **Until next time,**

 **-Ausko**


	11. Honesty is a Virtue

**Oh man, does it feel good to be back writing this story. A warning before we start, its mostly just exposition and forward plot. So... yeah, all this wait for that, sorry. Not really :D Also Haruno fans might experience what Yukinoshita fans experienced, heads up LOL.**

 **Um, it's been so long that I don't really know which review is new and which isn't but I'll try my best, so sorry if I somehow miss you.**

 **If you guys haven't noticed by now, I respond to the reviews ON THE DAY OF THE COMPLETION OF THE CHAPTER, so if you ever receive a PM by pertaining to your review, you bet your ass I'll be uploading the chapter within a day.**

 **Which brings me to a question, do you guys even want me to respond to reviews? The guest ones I mean, like, do the guests even read my responses? Or am I just wasting my time? If you guys would like to me continue to respond to the reviews, add 'Hachikuji best girl' anywhere in the review and I will do so. (LOLOLOLOL) If you don't I'll just assume you don't want me to respond to them.**

 **But enough of that, it really has been awhile hasn't it? Still love you boys and girls, not even in the platonic sense. I know a lot have probably lost a bit faith in me, and I won't hold them to it, or even blame them; completely understand. If you are still reading this, especially from day one... holy hell man, you have my respect. I know there are a lot of OG's and I can't really remember them all but I want to give a thanks to:**

 **Disclaimer: The following people are all based on MEMORY, so I probably fucked up your name, LOL. Or missed a few, in which case sorry.**

 **Pewdepew**

 **zOrenk0 or some sht, that 'asuka' dude xD**

 **jminator or something**

 **LyingHikki**

 **DarkerMS**

 **hikigaya** **this man(or girl) has probably reviewed every single one of my stories, like no joke. Much love man.**

 **Sorashita Char something, first ever reviewer, still remember him(or her)**

 **Mokkel**

 **MikeThoa or something like that**

 **ArmantusCumPinnae**

 **Isorropa or whatever**

 **Predator7**

 **These arent all the reviewers, no of course not, I really do appreciate you all don't get me wrong, but these are the ones that stick out to me because they either keep popping up, or just the ones that reviewed before the 'revision.' I appreciate all my reviews, especially all the guests as well, but well... these boys and girls deserve a little extra, haha. Love you all.**

 **As per tradition! Feel free to skim now.**

 **Fanfic Critic** : Oh hey, what up man, you still scurrying about? I still remember the first review about you giving me an ultimatum or something like that. Glad to see your still with us. Uh, pardon my ignorance but it seems that we left off with a bit heat, huh? Uhh... yeah, I'm gonna say sorry for all that, and instead thank you for the review! Yukinoshita is probably the most popular pairing, I know. Not guaranteed tho, likely, but not guaranteed. Why not pair them now? Look at the timeline at the end.

 **Polite Fanfic Critic** : I always find it amusing how notorious FC is, honestly he(isn't she a girl?) deserves a pat on the back for that lol. But uhh, hey man, thank you for the very kind words. I mean yeah... I guess 'NTR' is a pretty sure fire way to piss some people off. But I think people are taking everything at face value, keep in mind that this is a 1st person story, and the story is told through HIS eyes, he may not be reliable. He has bias, like anyone else. Not really saying this to you, but everyone. But again, thank you for trying to make me feel better.

 **Guest** : LOL, I don't know man. On one hand I agree, 'cause anime does a pretty good job on shedding it in a good light, but then I'm like, what if _I_ dated my cousin? And I'm just like ew, gross xD Still fun as hell to write though, um... I think I'm going to leave it at them never having and sexual relation, but did some intimate stuff. I think that's probably the extent to where they went, and probably touching. Bout it, tho.

 **tumms** : LOL you think that was like a filler? Oh boy are you going to have a field day on my ass. This is prob the most filler-esque chapter besides chapter 9

 **Lol the critic** : Oh my... you guys are just assholes to FC, huh? I appreciate the defense guys, really I do, but its okay; no need to attack him, alright? You'll be turning into him by the end of it. Appreciate the review nonetheless man, and for the words of encouragement!

 **Ahem** : AHAHAHAHA! I don't know why, but the way you write that just made me laugh so hard. It's like a poor dad joke. But sorry, no, they are blood related, I'm not taking that cop out, nope.

 **Guest** : Hey man, slow your horses! Even if I _did_ pair them, it can't be this early! Where's the buildup? But, noted, thats another one for the Haruno fanclub it seems.(lol)

 **s Murd3rf4c3** : Jesus dude, its a guest name, do you really have to add the numbers? xD Anyways, uh, I think that's spanish, and I don't really speak spanish, french a little, but not spanish. Thanks for the review regardless!

 **Khan** : Oh hey! Glad to see you back! How's that story of yours going? Haha, glad you enjoyed that scene, it was mostly filler but a key role on characterizing the service club. Oh, well, yeah I guess. Though this is just scratching the surface, a... sneak peak if you will. I'm not actually going to pair them right away(spoiler), where's all the buildup? Again were only on like day... 4 lol. But yes, he does, eventually.

 **eet** : AYYYY, looks like someone finally caught on to that little trope I've been trying, good shit man. Thanks for the review!

 **ugh** : Oh my god, welcome back man! Hey no worries, I understand where you were coming from, a lot of people were pretty ticked on how I did that chapter. But again, like I said to another reviewer, this is a first person based story. There will be bias as well as a possible unreliable narrator. I understand everyone has their off-days, just like our favorite pair(lol). I'm glad you're still with us. Thank you for the review!

 **And that's that, thank you continuing to read my story.**

* * *

How long has been? I'm not exactly sure to be quite honest, Aneki's voice from beyond the door had already subsided, maybe she went to sleep, maybe she took the hint and wanted to give me alone time. Though, at this point I guess it doesn't really matter, huh?

What are my feelings for my sister exactly? Well… I mean, it wasn't a lie when I said she was probably the most important person in the world to me, no that's not what the problem was here. The problem was that _her_ exact feelings for me. I know I can be pretty oblivious, and downright stupid at time, but even _I_ can see the signs; I mean, who knows my sister better than myself?

Though… that's probably the reason why it's so baffling in the first place, my sister. Someone who I grew up with from the very beginning, just the thought of having feelings beyond familial bonds scares the absolute hell out of me. There was just _too_ much at stake, it was too complicated, it was too… _wrong_. I know, it may seem a bit hypocritical, all things considered but the fact of the matter is… well, she's still my sister, my very own blood.

Hikigaya Haruno.

That was the name of the single most important person to me, but even so, for her sake, or maybe my own. I couldn't exactly reciprocate her feelings. I always try to brush it off as a joke, or just her personality that she's developed over the years, and she seems content with playing along with that whole mindset, though if that will last? Hell if I know.

I just lay there on my bed as I stare into the ceiling for the past half hour, why did I have to remember that _exact_ memory? My mind is in a muddled mess, I mean, I was still left feeling… unsatisfied and the recent memories of Kaori and our 'expeditions' coming fresh in my head had really left me… frustrated. In the sexual sense. Maybe that's why am I in this mess? Why all these random dark feelings have been bottling up inside me as of late, why I've been getting so agitated at the littlest of things. I mean, I should probably go apologize to Yato and the beta. I haven't been exactly a 'friend' to them these past few days.

That is, until I remember that small detail of the beta going out on a 'date' with Yukinoshita.

I just let out a tired, heavy sigh. Honestly I felt a little better, and it's not like Aneki _knows_ what it was I was thinking of, or why I'm acting the way I am. Right, well, might as well not make this into a bigger deal than it is.

I just slightly shake my head, feeling my damp hair get a bit into my face, I should really go get it trimmed so time soon. Well, enough of all this self deprecation, I'm sure I can figure out this mess later.

As I go to get up I grab my uniform off the floor and neatly fold, seeing a few papers slip out. It was the panels of the Chuuni's manga, the rather lewd ones. I quickly shake my head and put them into a neat pile, thinking back to my clubmates.

Yukinoshita Yukino.

A name that I've gotten quite used to calling. In fact, I'd even say she was the closest friend I had at the moment, especially after that little 'bonding' session we had during lunch. Honestly, the things that she was put through her during middle school years? I wouldn't exactly say that she had it _worse_ than me, though I wouldn't want to trade places with her either. The fact that she wasn't bitter _all_ the time was a surprise in of itself. That 'cold' attitude she had during our previous club meeting seemed to be who 'Yukinoshita' really was, and that the 'cute', 'go-lucky', 'naive' girl was more of a… not really a facade exactly, but more of her trying to cope with her bitter sentiments? Who the hell knows, I'd go insane trying to figure her out.

That girl was a handful, no doubt; as for my exact feelings for her? Well… I would be lying if I said I wasn't attracted to her at all. Hell no, I _was_ conscious of it or not, that girl was just blessed with good genetics. As for her thought on me? Well, it has certainly crossed my mind, but the last thing I want to do is be presumptuous and ruin… whatever it is we have going on. Would I date her if I had the chance? Depends.

Yuigahama Yui

Another name that I've become more familiar with these past two days. I honestly wouldn't call her 'friend' as I know almost nothing about her, just her tendencies and her 'phobia'. She wasn't really my 'type', but still a good looking girl. I mean, hell, I wouldn't pass up on the offer, though I guess that would go for _most_ girls I've met… except maybe Kawamaki. That girl had one too many screws loose, she was actually the most confusing of all.

Regardless, I'm almost certainly positive that Yuigahama had at least _some_ sort of attraction to me, I mean… that kiss wasn't scripted, and she seemed pretty genuine about it. It wasn't _bad_ by any means, just a bit… inexperienced would probably be the best way to put it. She did say she was a virgin didn't she?

I shake my head of the thoughts, I could feel my inner thoughts going a bit dark; better to stop now before I do something I regret. Not only that, there was still like… three other girls that were, interesting, to say the least.

I casually step out of my room into the large living area and head towards the kitchen connected to it. I didn't really see Aneki, though I wasn't exactly looking for her either. I go to pop open the fridge to see what I could whip up for dinner, and lo' and behold, there was absolute shit. Y'know, just like last time I checked and we were out of water? Funny how I didn't realize how low our fridge was stocked the last few days. Oh well, guess I should go out and buy somethings. I should probably text Aneki that I'll be out for a bit and for to buy something for herself in case she got hungry.

* * *

[To: Haru-nee

Yo, Aneki, gonna head out for a bit; our fridge isn't stocked, like, at all. Might be gone for a bit, if you get hungry, order something to eat. I'll leave some money on the kitchen table. 8:23 PM]

* * *

Locking my phone and placing a few bills on the table, I go to my room and grab a sort of overcoat, not to mention for probably the first time since I've moved here, going out in my casual clothes and actually exploring the area.

* * *

As I walk throughout the streets of Chiba, I didn't _really_ know where I was going, I guess I was half walking around to clear my head, half walking to find a local corner store. Or, if I was lucky, some sort of super market. Imagine my luck when I see a certain-

"Yo, fancy seeing you here." I call out. I was met with a surprised look and a familiar two-fingered wave in the form of a peace sign. I vaguely remember me accepting a deal that made me give her my number. I never did do that did I? Wonder if she was lowkey tailing me this entire time…

Nah, impossible.

Well, you never know; I mean isn't there a common theme going on here?

Sigh… What're you trying to get at, me?

Oh, I don't know. Don't you find it weird how this is probably the only relative _normal_ girl we've run into? Yet she has probably the least amount of screen time?

Do you always have to ruin everything.

Eh… I certainly don't stick around to be helpful.

"Right, well, since you kept your end of the deal, I should probably give you my number, huh?" I tone out once she seemed to be fall in step with me somewhat. Currently we were in some sort of strip with the street lined with various shops, ranging from cafes, restaurants, clothing stores, book stores, etc. Guess what I found her in front of?

Yup, you guessed it; a clothing store.

"That would be helpful." She tones out blankly.

I just roll my eyes. No need to be so passive-aggressive about it.

Soon enough we exchange contact information and she shoots me a text.

* * *

[From: Ms. Antisocial

Hi. 8:52 PM]

* * *

I just nod my head, noticing I got a text from Aneki; deciding to check it later.

"So what're you doing out so late, and alone to boot." I break the silence once again. She simply points to a store ahead of us, a neat logo from a small banner adjacent to the storefront signaling its name. Of course it was some overpriced 'high end' fashion trend shop. _Not_ wanting to be part of that little tidbit I casually part ways with the blonde haired girl. It was getting pretty late and I _did_ come out here for a reason.

Saying our farewells we go our separate ways, as I try to find my original goal. As I start walking I pull out my phone to check the message Aneki sent me.

* * *

[From: Haru-nee

Oh! Well look at you being all responsible, and you actually thought about me! I'm so touched! Though there's really no need, call me when you have the time. And by that, I really mean mean call me now. 8:48 PM]

* * *

I smile a bit to myself when I read the text message; glad to know that somethings never change. Not really finding any sort of 'supermarket' I settle on finding a convenience store, granted the only necessities for 'cooking' you could find there are eggs and milk, but I guess it's better than nothing. Might as well grab some more water and packaged food. As I make my way toward the store, I quickly dial my sister's number. A few tones later and she finally picks up.

" _Hai, hai! How's my favorite little brother doing? Have you missed me? I've missed you!_ " Aneki's voice comes blaring out of the phone and I actually have to put the phone away from my ear, a few people exiting the convenience store giving me weird looks, before I put it back to my ear.

"I'm your _only_ brother, you idiot." I tone out boredly, "was there a reason I'm calling you?"

" _Oh there he is, for a second there I thought that you might've been replaced by some weird angsty teen,_ " she laughs out through the phone, " _don't worry too much about dinner, I went out and bought us some food! Aren't I super duper reliable?_ "

I just shake my head a bit, even smiling a bit at sister's antics, "oh? Well that's surprisingly thoughtful of you. May I ask what exactly you got?"

" _Ehehe, well…_ " she trails off, and my eyes instantly narrow a bit.

"Why do I have the feeling I'm not going to like this answer…" I drawl out slowly, pinching my nose a bit to stop the oncoming headache.

" _You know I actually ordered food, and then they delivered it, but I forgot that I didn't have any money on me so…_ "

I just let out a breath, "you're actually a dumbass, you know that? Did you even read my text? I _left_ money on the table, 'cause I knew some dumbshit like this would happen."

" _Oh! Ahahah… Yeah, I knew that, hold on one minute._ " I hear what seems to be Aneki setting down the phone then flagging someone down, from the down hallways I assume. A few minutes pass of random noises and I hold the phone up to my ear with my shoulder as I go to cash my things out.

I place my items to get scanned not really paying attention to the cashier before I feel an intesne gaze being directed towards my way. I look up to a rather blank, yet expectant, looking face.

"Yo." I hear a rather monotonous voice tone out.

"K-Kawamaki?!" I yell out in surprise.

She just gives me a weird look, before motioning towards me to quiet down in a really nonchalant manner, "Kawasaki," she corrects, "that'll be a total of 4000 yen."

I just nod and pay for my things, giving her a bit more of my attention, my phone still pressed to my ear, though at this point I'm holding it with my hand. She passively hands me my bagged items. I look behind me to see if anyone was waiting, and there actually wasn't.

"You… work here?" I tone out casually.

She just returns my question with a blank stare then points to her name tag reading 'Kawasaki Saki' and then gesturing to her whole body. Probably meant to emphasize her uniform but it seemed a bit… perverse. Though that could just be my mind playing tricks on me.

"I thought it was pretty obvious, I mean; it's not like I'm bagging these items for fun." She comments.

"O-oh, right, well, I was just surprised is all." I answer.

She gives me that same questioning look she always gives me, "why? I'm a teenager in need of money, so naturally I have a part time job."

Well, yeah, I guess that makes sense; though I couldn't really relate.

"Right, so is it safe to assume you live around here?"

Her questioning look turns a bit inquisitive at that question, "oh? Are you taking me up on my offer to come over and train? Without clothes of course."

Not even fazed by this kind of talk anymore, I just wave her off, "yeah. Not happening, if I did, I wouldn't be alive to see the light of day."

Her face goes blank once again, in what seems to be annoyance, "oh? What you got a girlfriend or something?"

"Well, no, not exactl-"

" _The hell you don't Hachiman, tell her I'm your girlfriend!_ " I hear Aneki yell out through the phone once again. I just let loose another sigh.

I look back up to Kawapocki to give me a rather mocking smirk, "she seems to think otherwise." She comments, apparently hearing Aneki.

I just shake my head, "don't mind her, I'll see you at school."

She just gives me a nod, but suddenly grabs my hand from across the counter, I turn in surprise giving her a skeptical look.

"Something you need?"

She quickly shakes her head, a bit of redness to her cheeks, until finally she rips a piece of receipt paper from the roll and scribbles something down handing to me. She turns away and avoids eye contact. I go to question her but another customer comes up and she starts scanning items ignoring me. I just shake my head once again, heading out.

" _Hachiman?! Are you listening to me?!_ " Aneki screams across the phone again.

"Oh my god…" I breath under my breath, a headache coming in full force, "yes, I'm still here sister dearest."

" _Who the_ fuck _was that?! Another girl you're trying to sleep with behind my back?_ "

"Just a classmate, Aneki, don't worry about it. I'm on my way home now, so I'm gonna hang up okay? See you in a bit."

" _Wait-!_ "

*click*

And with that I end the call, getting a better hold on my bags. I am _so_ going to sleep in tomorrow.

* * *

As I make my way up the elevator I finally check the piece of paper Kawalocki gave me, and of course, it was a phone number. Her's if I were to assume. I quickly stuff it into my jacket, making sure Aneki wouldn't see it; lest I have to deal with _that_ tonight.

Why not just throw it away.

Dunno, don't feel like it.

You just love to piss off Haru-nee, huh?

Yeah, 'lil bit.

As I step through our door _without_ an electronic lock, I make a mental note to call someone about that and set the physical chain lock before I take off my shoes, "I'm home."

"Oh, hey Hachiman." A familiar voice calls out.

"Shiro-senpai, what brings you here?" I casually call out, entering the kitchen setting down the bags and stocking the fridge with various items.

"I dunno, Haruno came crying to me about something; probably about you, if I were to take a guess. Said she didn't want to be alone or something." She comments as her eyes are glued to our T.V, her face a bit red.

As I finish my activity I lean from the back of the couch over her and grab the remote, turning off some ecchi anime she was watching.

"Hey!" She protests, giving me a pout.

I wiggle the remote in front of her, "what do you mean, 'she came crying to you'?"

She rolls her eyes, "not literally you doofus, she was just… upset about something."

Shiro-senpai now turns her body towards me as she tucks her knees onto the couch, I notice that she wasn't wearing any pants and was just wearing a loose fitting t-shirt.

Ignoring that little bit of information I give my full attention to her, making sure eyes were staying level with _at least_ her collar, "you two didn't get into a fight… did you?"

I scratch the back of my head, "no, I was just in a rather sour mood; she was… well her usual nagging self, and I guess I kind of ignored her for a bit."

A half truth, but there was no way in hell I was telling her the _real_ problem.

She gives a doubtful look, "if you say so."

"So where's Aneki now?" I ask, changing the subject, as I head back to the kitchen, throwing the remote back to her, "didn't she order food or something?"

This elicits a small laugh, "yeah, that idiot chased the delivery guy all the way down the elevator to pay for it. She then managed to trip and spill all of the food in her excitement running back up here, and now she's gone again to order even more food."

I smack my knee into a nearby drawer from the sheer stupidity that just entered my ears, and I get an odd sense of deja vu.

"And she couldn't do that here because…?"

"Oh she did, she's just taking a shower right now, y'know; with all the food in her hair and stuff." Shiro-senpai answers me, not even facing me.

I actually stop and listen and true, the water was running, I just couldn't hear it over the obnoxious T.V.

I just shake my head, grabbing a tray and putting some old cookies on it as well as a tea pot, and place it on our coffee table. As I set them down I turn around a make a 'shooing' motion towards Shiro-senpai and she begrudgingly moves aside.

Again, I had a clear view of her underwear as her knees were tucked under her on the couch, and the t-shirt she had on left little to the imagination. I throw a blanket over her head, as she yells out another 'hey!' and struggles for a few minutes, finally emerging from the comforter.

"Put on some clothes." I tone out, my eyes watching the T.V as well.

"Aww, and here I thought this would totally work." She pouts.

"If Aneki catches you like that, she'll probably throw you out the window."

At that the olive haired girl just crosses her arm but relents and covers herself with the blanket. A few minutes of silence pass as we both start munching on the small cookies, watching this sorry excuse of a show. As the commercial break ends, Shiro-senpai actually turns towards me, "be real with me here, Hachiman."

I look curiously towards her, "Haruno was really worried about you, I heard a few bits and pieces on what happened, but I want to hear it from you. What happened?"

As I meet her eyes, I see a sense of seriousness to them that I've never really seen before, I knew I couldn't exactly weasel my out of this one, especially this close to her.

I dodge her gaze, "l-like I said, I was just in a bad mood, and she caught me at a bad time."

"So what's this whole thing about you throwing up in the sink?"

Damn.

I still avoid my gaze, but don't answer. I sense her move towards me the comforter still draped around her body. She leans her chest into me and I had the odd sensation of deja vu once again. I sense her breath tickle my ear.

"You didn't happen to have naughty thought pertaining to your _sister_ , did you, Hachiman?" She whispers into my ear.

I actually feel my face grow hot, not from what she was doing, but from the statement of hers. I _did_ , and I'll be damned if anyone else found about it!

"W-what the hell are you talking about, she's my sister, of course not."

She adjusts herself as I feel the blanket slide off of her and I could feel her bare legs. But I still kept my gaze away from hers, "well, if not you, I know Haruno definitely has some about _you_."

I feel face get even more hot, I did _not_ need confirmation on that woman!

She continues to whisper into my ear, "to think that a brother _and_ sister have the hots for each other, and even live under the same roof to boot; how daring! What would people say?"

At that the thought of other people finding, I lose all sense of embarrassment and I see red, there are some things I can tolerate, this is _not_ one of them.

I quickly turn around and grab Shiro-senpai's hands and pin her down to the couch, a sudden flare of anger and betrayal running through me.

"You don't know _anything_! I don't care _who_ you are, if you think even _think_ about spreading those false accusations to anyone else, so help me god Shiromeguri! No one will come in between my sister and I! I will _not_ let you ruin her reputation!"

Her shocked face transforms into a rather sly look, "see? Was is it so hard to be honest with yourself? You hear that Haruno? How _romantic_!" She practically squeals, squirming in my grasp.

…

What?

I see Aneki, come from the bathroom, wrapped in a towel a shocked and red face, "y-you really mean that, Hachiman?"

"Ooo, how long are you going to pin me down like this big boy? Might as well take off my panties while you're at it."

Oi, oi! That's not something you should say so casually! Especially in my state of mind right now! I quickly get up and get away from that damn vixen and try to cool my head and insistent urges building up, that was actually _really_ close.

I got to fridge and pop open the large bottle of water, drinking it straight from the bottle, trying my best to stay coherent and clear my head, yet again.

I feel my sister grope me from behind, as I almost spill the whole damn bottle from her startling me, "oi! The fuck are you doing!"

I yell as I go to pry her arms off of me, only a towel separating her naked body from me, "so you really _do_ care about me Hachiman! You're like a grade A tsundere! Come on, that deserves a kiss, gimme a kiss."

"Like hell I will! And I am _not_ a goddamn tsundere! This isn't an anime!"

"Ah, sibling love; what I would do to have a cute brother like you." Shiro-senpai laments.

"You are _not_ helping, Senpai! Stop saying weird things that will cause misunderstandings!"

"Come on Hachiman, don't you love your big sister?"

"Not if you're going to act like this, Aneki! Stop making it weird! And put some damn clothes on!"

"Here you can wear my shirt." Shiro-senpai pipes up helpfully.

"Don't you dare! You need to put some clothes on too!"

"What I think it is that _you_ need take some clothes _off_."

"Good idea, Megurin! Help me out." And with that my sister's hands that I finally pried off me start going for my shirt, as Shiro-senpai sneaks up from behind me.

"What the hell is wrong with you girls?! Keep your damn hands to yourself!" I yell out, trying break away from them.

I go to balcony and open the glass door, and promptly shut it behind me, holding it shut to keep the girls at bay. I wince a bit from a few scratches left by the girls and my foot suddenly kicks a bottle, making a rattling noise. I look down and see dozens of beer cans littered around the floor.

"Oi! Are you two girls drunk?!" I yell through the door.

I finally realize why they're faces were so damn red.

* * *

Eventually the two girls pass out from being so goddamn stupid, and I was left with two practically naked girls lying on my living room floor in various positions. I quickly bang my head repeatedly on the kitchen counter until I was sure I was bleeding; anymore of this and I might actually go insane. To top it all off, the delivery guy, out of all times, decides to come _now_. I go to answer the door and pay for the food, not even hungry anymore; and I know these two idiots were getting up anytime soon. After setting the food in the fridge I go to carry each of them individually and lay them on Aneki's bed, before heading to the bathroom.

After washing up a bit, I didn't feel too tired, all things considered. I mean, I guess I _did_ fall asleep when I took a bath earlier. I proceed to clear the coffee table and continue to grab a plastic bag and clean up the mess out on the balcony; how many bottles did those girls even go through? Finally finishing after ten minutes or so, I leave the apartment and go to the recycling center. It was just a room where all the people on floor put they're recyclable material, it was near an 'open' part of the floor, something akin to that of a lobby. Small couches and a large wooden table decorating the area for people to loiter if they were waiting for their laundry to finish. Adjacent to the recycling center was a room full of washers and dryers to use; included in the rent. I gently shut put away the bags and shut the door, expecting to walk back to my room, though as life would have it, I - once again - run into a familiar face.

"Should I even ask what you're doing out here?" I tone out boredly.

I was received with a 'hmph!' as the girl turns away from me, her face glued to some sort of book. Taking a closer look it was actually an eroge. I just shake my head and simply pluck the thing away from her hands and carefully read the title, "'Alice's Misadventures in the Land of Wonders'?" I raise my eyebrows at her, who still refused to look me in the eye, "kinky." I finish blankly.

I hold out the manga for her to grab back and she just snatches it out of my hand.

"What, someone ruin kick your dog or something? What's up with the sour look." I ask a bit ironically.

"You!" She bites out.

"Oh what, you're still mad about how I treated you at the club?" I tone out, "don't take it personally, if anything it just goes to say how I view you."

"How you 'view' me?" The chibi Yukinoshita asks.

"Yeah, that's how I treat my sister. So I guess, with that same line of thought, I see you like a little sister."

I see her face go red a bit, what? You got some kinky brother/sister fetish going through your head or something? Which, again, I find a bit ironic all things considered.

"So, you don't mind if I call you Onii-chan?" She questions.

"Uh... well, I guess I'd be lying if I said I _didn't_ but, whatever floats your boat. I'm friends with your sister, might as well get on your good side too."

"Hoh? Well you could start with pinning me to this couch and make some hot steamy public sex to me." She says in a challenging manner.

I feel something growl within me, "I am _not_ reenacting whatever sick, perverted situation you have running through your head. How old are you again? You got quite the imagination for a twelve year old." And I go to flick her forehead in the same manner I do with her sister.

She instantly goes to bite my finger, but I retract it too quickly, "I'm fifteen you insensitive jerk! I'm in my last year of junior high!"

"Still doesn't change the fact that you act like a prepubescent hormonal teen who just figured out her sexuality." I blankly respond.

"S-shut up! At least _I_ don't have four other girls chasing me around!"

Four? Well it's a bit more than that but she couldn't possibly know that, right?

"What, you including yourself into that count too?"

"Pfft, as if." She pouts, going back to her 'book'.

I take a seat next to her and grab a magazine left on the table as well, "so what exactly are doing out here, surprised to see you without your sister."

She keeps her eyes on the book, "waiting for laundry, Yuki-nee says the noise it makes scare her so has me to do all of it. I make her fold them."

I just laugh out loud in my head, why the hell am I not surprised? Just the though of her trying to figure out to work the buttons then scampering away when it made loud noises sent my sides into orbit.

"I see you have a useless older sister too, huh?"

She actually looks back to me, "tell me about it. I even have to cook for her too! Says that burning oil scares her too, all she can handle is a simple toaster and microwave!"

"And not mention how _picky_ they can get even though they're the ones not cooking." I add on.

" _Thank you_ _!_ " She agrees.

We just look at each other and share a laugh. I guess me and her were a bit more similar than I could ever imagine. After we recover and silence envelops us again I just had to ask this question, since the first day I came here.

"Say, Yukinoshita said that the mastermind behind her whole 'neko-hooker' attire when I first met her was yours idea. Can I ask why you even _thought_ that was a good idea?"

The chibi Yukinoshita just looks to me in questioning, "oh she never did tell you, did she? It was actually her plan too."

What!?

"Impossible, the first day we met you even specifically said that it was 'your surprise', Yukinoshita even said it was you herself!"

She just blows her hair out of her face in what seems to be annoyance, "you know saying 'Yukinoshita' this, 'Yukinoshita' that is getting really confusing, that's my name too you know."

I relay that bit of information in my head, and the mere thought of calling her 'Yukinoshita' left my brain in shambles. No I actually couldn't comprehend that, Yukinoshita is Yukinoshita, no one else could be 'Yukinoshita'.

"Nah, too confusing, you're Komachi in my eyes."

At that I see her face go rather red, "o-oh... Well, I guess that makes sense." She coughs a bit forcefully, getting back on track.

"A-anyways, I just gave some advice, she deviated her own plan."

"So you're telling me that whole fiasco was her doing?" I tone out a bit doubtfully.

"Yeah, pretty much. She came up to me asking how I could instantly make someone her friend, of course I said that's not really how it works, but she insisted anyways. So, from my experience guys usually responded favorably if you entice them with your sex appeal."

Okay, hold on a second. I'm not saying that that's exactly untrue, just how the hell did she even get that notation, especially at this age!

"What the hell do you mean 'from your experience'?!" I tone out incredulously.

She just squints her eyes a bit, holding her hand out in a questioning manner practically screaming 'are you retarded?', "um, hello?" And then she points to her eroge once again.

Oh... oh, no of course! Phew, holy shit did I dodge a bullet there, just the thought of her actually doing lewd things made my skin crawl.

"Oh, right, yeah of course." I sigh out.

She just looks at me skeptically, "what, what did you think I meant?"

"Nothing!" I answer immediately, a bit embarrassed; a few thoughts of what she'd look like underneath her clothes skimming my mind.

HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK MAN

I-I know, I'm sorry!

SHE'S A FUCKING MINOR! (A/N: Ignoring the age of consent in Japan. Fucking _weird_ man.)

So is _literally_ every other girl I've met, me.

DON'T TRY AND JUSTIFY THIS YOU SICK FUCK. THAT'S HER _SISTER_.

Hey, family sandwich amirite?

Your absolutely fucking disgusting.

Oh come on I was joking!

...

Hello?

I see her face get a bit sly, "what's this? You thought I was some sort of indecent woman?"

You are the furthest thing from a 'woman', girl.

"Yup, totally thought you were a slut, not going to lie."

I was received with a swift smack, "asshole!"

My head was actually spinning a bit from that, my cheeking having a lingering stinging sensation.

...

OW, FUCK! WHAT THE HELL!?

"Oi, totally uncalled for!"

"'Uncalled for', my ass!" She yells back, "don't you dare say that to me!" She continues with a bit ferocity that I wasn't exactly expecting. She actually seemed genuinely pissed off, and not the, 'haha, I'm mad to play the part' kind of pissed off.

I rub my cheek a bit, and actually look at her, her face was livid, her eyes set aflame, she actually kind of looked cute.

NOT THE TIME, DUMBASS.

Right.

"Okay, I'm sorry, guess I struck a nerve with that, huh? Really, I didn't mean it." I sincerely apologize.

She turns away from a bit, taking a few shallow breaths, "sure, just never say that to me again."

I just nod, at a bit of lost as to what to do.

She finally turns towards me again, "it's just... all the girls at my school call me that; well, not _all_ , just the rather snobby ones."

"I take it there aren't accustomed to your eccentricity?"

She just nods her head, "well, I mean, c'mon; can you blame them? Like really, some of the stuff that comes out of your mouth is just downright perverse, on a creepy level. Like your some sort of nymphomaniac."

She lets loose a sigh, "you just wouldn't understand..."

I just roll my eyes, here it comes, get ready for it. Fuck sake, man.

"Okay, what is it, I'm here to listen." I begrudgingly voice out.

"Not if you're going to be an ass about it." She shoots off.

"Right, I guess you haven't really been around me long enough to be used to my 'personality'. Look, I'm not really into this 'sentimental' bullshit, alright? If you want to spill the beans, I'll listen, and I'll act accordingly. I'm not going to sugarcoat my thoughts or say sweet nothings to make you feel 'better'."

I see have a look of anger bottling inside her, ready to deliver swift justice with her hand, "but!" I cut her off, "I'm not so insensitive to leave a girl alone who obviously has something they to get off their chest. So lay it on me, what's the real reason you engross yourself into this type of literature?

 _Those who are in need of help, often don't call for it._

I see her hand retract and a look of begrudging acceptance don her face, "I-I was actually... m-molested as a child."

...

...

...

I don't know what exactly happened but I could sense my mind break into a million pieces; my vision enveloped into red. Now I wasn't one to exactly 'white knight' over anything, but this. No, this was a bit fucked up, even for a story like this.

"Anyone else know about this?" I tone out in a voice that wasn't accustomed to my own.

"J-just Nee-san and Isshiki... and now, I guess you." She struggles to answer.

"Not that I'm... put off or anything, but why tell me? Seems a bit personal to tell someone you just met."

Her eyes were glued to the floor at this point, "I-I don't really know... there's just something about you that makes me feel... safe. Like you'd be understanding about it." She gives out a small laugh, "probably from all the babbling Nee-san does about you, and how 'great of a listener' you are. You may not know it, but before you came into our life Nee-san was... a very dark individual back then, almost obsessive.

She lifts her eyes a bit to look at mine, "I shouldn't really tell you this... but, Nee-san used to lock herself up in that clubroom for hours on end, just waiting for the off-chance that someone would come in. you can bet she knew of your arrival before anyone else did."

I get a sudden sense of betrayal at those words, almost as if the 'Yukinoshita' I knew, was in fact, a lie this whole time. I knew her bi-polar nature wasn't just an act, she was actually struggling to keep up with the facade she created herself!

I take a deep breath, but that's another problem for another time. Right now I had to deal with the pin that had been pulled from the proverbial grenade.

"Please don't let this affect your relationship with her, you really do make her happy." She smiles at me a bit bitterly.

"Enough of her already, what about you?" I ask, my voice a bit on edge.

"What about me?" She continues putting on that smile, how forced and fake it was.

"That isn't something you just 'bring up' with anybody, I don't care who he/she is, and since it was me well..."

She finally loses that forced smile, "I guess."

I actually go to hold her shoulders, forcing her to turn to me, "look, I don't know how long you've been bottling this up inside, but its obvious that you're using these... 'books' as some sort of coping mechanism. I won't force you but, if you ever want to let it out you know where to find me."

I see her recede a bit into herself, she looks me in the eyes, and I see some sort of emotion in her eyes that reminded me hope, before avoiding my gaze quickly, a small smile on her face.

"Thank you."

I just nod my head, as I hear a loud beeping noise, indicating that the load was done in the dryer. I see Komachi quickly wipe at her eyes, "guess that's my cue, I'll be seeing you around." She speaks to me in a voice that I wasn't accustomed to. Like she was actually being genuine instead of her usual annoying 'banter' voice.

From today on, I guess I'll cut her a little slack.

I just put on a mocking smile, "yeah, no problem 'sis."

She actually just looks back to me with a smile and laughter in her eyes, "thanks big bro'." And with that blows me a kiss.

"Alright whoa, slow down with the incest, there."

"Don't you know, incest is wincest?"

And for the first time that day, I actually burst out into laughter, probably waking up everyone on the floor.

Oh man, if Aneki ever caught wind of that saying, she'd be having a field day on my ass.

* * *

 **So if you remember my Q &A on my profile regarding this story, I did say that all the girls act the way they do for a reason. This is probably the most dark, topic wise, out of all of them, so sorry about that. I know it's not really a comfortable topic to bring up, but it is necessary to the story. Also a bit more look into Yukinoshita as well, again, not all of them will be 'dark' just... maybe most of them lol.**

 **Umm... I know I've been away for awhile and I'm not going to sit and here and justify it, nor apologize because you guys are probably sick of that by now. I can't promise anything, but I will try my hardest to finish this story. It's my first and I actually enjoy this one out of all my other ones. I probably have the most fun with the Kaori one, just 'cause it's fun trying to get into a girl's head and act the part. I also love her personality, or what I make it to be at least.**

 **Its funny, because Divulging memories is becoming less serious, and this more serious. That being said, this fic - I have decided - will actually be taken more seriously. Don't worry, humor is still the main element as well as the high strung sexual tension throughout the fic that you guys enjoy so much. I'll just be making an actual effort to patch up some plot holes and have a continous plot, instead of the episodic-esque one that has been going on.**

 **Also as a side note, like I said to a guest review, this is a story told in the eyes of Hikigaya, expect bias, or even unreliable narration. Though I guess that goes without saying.**

 **REMINDER: The story's timeline is about at the 1 week mark. I don't know the exact days, I'd have to look it up, which I'm not(lol), but i think its like this.**

 **Day 1: is chapter 1-3**

 **Day 2: chapter 4-5**

 **Day 3: Chapter 6-8**

 **Day 4: Chapter 9-11**

 **Okay, maybe not exactly a week, but whatever. Also I re-read the whole thing. Yup, all of it. Actually had quite a good time all things considered, cringed a whole lot, but I still found it enjoyable. Chapters 1-3 are by far the most cringe inducing, and littered with spelling mistakes, might go over and re-write that whole day, or at least combine chapter 3 with 2, as its really choppy. I mean those are the only 'original' chapters, and they were written with the 'crack' mindset.**

 **I think Shiromeguri and one other girl are going to be the focus of the next chapter, who do you guys want to see? I know the poll made Kawasaki in the lead, but I'm going to do either her or Miura, whichever comes more naturally. Probably Miura tbh because I've already established a link with her.**

 **Also just realized I introduced Isshiki, when I was supposed to postpone it, LOL. Oh well, she'll just be a background character for the time being. OH, I actually had a burst of inspiration for Totsuka! Like damn, I know I said I wouldn't add him(her) to a guest who suggested it, but I may. I'll be sure to do a shoutout when(if) I do decide to use him(her).**

 **See you guys... whenever. Maybe half a year, maybe less.**

 **Until next time,**

 **-Ausko**

 **Love you guys :D**


	12. Trying One's Best

**I'm really sorry.**

 **I don't even know who's new in regards to follows, favorites, and/or reviews, but I know I got a few new ones while on the hiatus, and on that note, I would like to welcome all new readers, as for the old one's, I hope I don't disappoint.**

 **Guess it's a bit late to do guest reviews, so maybe next chapter, sorry in advance. I do appreciate each and every one of you guys' review, I read them any time I felt particularity down any day, and it definitely brightened it up; so thank you.**

 **Disclaimer** **: I do not own My Teen Romantic Comedy.**

* * *

 _I was in my room with my headphones in, just casually lounging around on my phone reading a translated western book._

Huh…? What is…

 _I was engrossed into the reading until I feel a sudden weight on my bed, forcing it to sink to one side, was there someone here? I pull out my headphones and get up from my prone position to see Haru-nee on my bed. I look at her and I feel something stir within me and I avoid her gaze as much as I could._

This memory is…

 _For some reason I just couldn't bring myself to look her in the eye._

" _Hachiman, I-" She starts off, her voice was quiet, vulnerable almost. It didn't suit her at all._

" _Cake was great wasn't it? Even if it turned out a bit… small." I smile, as I force my face towards her. I simply close my eyes, still not being able to look her in the eye. I hold my smile, how fake it felt. I couldn't tell what she was thinking, nor did I want to._

" _Ah… mm!" She readily agrees. A few moments pass as I drop my smile and my eyes go back to the floor. Thinking back on it, I wasn't really sure what to do in this situation. I mean, I never_ kissed _a girl before, let alone my sister! Like what kind of stupid ass rom-com situation is this anyways?! Didn't things like this only happen in anime?!_

 _Though as much as I bitch and moan about it, I'm made acutely aware that I don't have anyone, or thing, to blame but myself and my impulses. Honestly, what was I thinking? Where do I even go from here?_

" _You know-" She tries to start once again._

" _Aneue," I test the word out, it honestly didn't really feel right saying that word. It felt stiff, too formal. From my peripheral I see Haru-nee tense up._

 _I cut off whatever she was trying to say, "I think… it's best if we leave each other alone for a bit." I hear a sudden intake of air from her, "I mean, you're going to have to study hard for your entrance exams into highschool, right?" I once again lift my head with a smile and close my eyes, facing her._

" _So make sure you do well this year, I won't accept anything less than your best! Maybe you'll even become Student Council President!" I force myself to laugh, it seemed hollow to me._

" _Imagine that," I lament to myself, "my useless older sister becoming the Head of the Student Council."_

 _I feel her grasp my hand into hers and I'm finally able to look her in the eye. They were tearing at the sides, but she puts on a smile, "j-just you wait! I'll make you proud to be my younger brother!"_

 _Hey eyes were shining from determination, or the tears, I couldn't tell, "then we can go back to how we used to be, right?"_

 _I was shocked, but I give her a nod and a real smile, who could refuse a look like that?_

" _Then… do your best."_

* * *

I slowly feel myself awaken in my bed. My face felt a bit wet, have I been crying? What a fucking joke. I try to remember what happened before I went to bed, something about incest and winning at it? Weird…

I go to try and wipe my face, it was starting to feel sticky, but for some reason it was extremely hard to move my left arm. Huh, maybe it fell asleep; in that case I'll go for my right!

…

Nothing.

The hell? Is this what they call sleep paralysis? Oi, wake up me; isn't about time to get your day started you lazy NEET?

We're still in school, dumbass.

Oh so you are here, me.

Unfortunately.

As I wake up a bit more and becoming more aware of my surroundings and I look over to my right arm, it wouldn't budge because I was paralyzed or anything. No, far from it actually. What was actually weighing me down was…

"Oi…" I start off in a low and dangerous tone, "I know you girls aren't sleeping."

At that remark I feel both bodies next to me stiffen up, "I'm going to count to three and if you two aren't off my bed I'm kicking you out to the balcony and locking it."

Both of the bodies hold their breath, as if I wouldn't notice.

"One." I tone out, in the same dangerous tone.

"Two." I continue, at this point I can feel Aneki start shaking in place.

"Thre-" I almost finish my countdown before both girls shoot up and instantly butt heads.

"Mou, this all your fault Megurin! I told you he would notice if it was the both of us!" I hear Aneki whine, yelling in Shiro-senpai's face.

"And that's why I told you that I should be the one to do it. You guys will get more chances, don't you two live together?" She answers back, unaffected by Aneki's tone. "This is my only opportunity."

"Like I'd give you such an easy advantage, homewrecker!" Aneki yells out.

"Klutz." Shiro-senpai simply answers back.

"Nudist!"

"Bro-con."

"Sex fiend!"

"Uh, hello? Mrs. Kettle, the pot called and it says that you're black."

"…"

O-oi! Don't go quiet at that response as if you're deciding whether it's true or not!

At this point both girls were butting heads as I see electricity streak between them, it was _way_ too fucking early for this.

"All right, enough!" I tone out annoyed, seriously, didn't they have anything better to do?

"She started it!" I see Aneki get up in my face with a pout. As she does, I see that she was sleeping in one of my dress shirts that used to be finely pressed and smooth, but now was misbuttoned and in wrinkles. It left little to the imagination of her chest as she invaded my personal space.

I drag my hand down my face in an exaggerated face palm, "I don't _care_ who started it, you're both being annoying!"

"Jeez, he's so un _cute_ when he wakes up, huh?" Shiro-senpai laments.

"Aren't I supposed to be the non morning person?" Aneki answers back.

"Ah! Fine! Whatever! Just get the hell off my bed, I'll go cook breakfast for you useless girls!" I finally yell out.

"Oh _my_ , did you hear that Haruno? What a sweet Ototo you have hear, shouldn't I wed him?"

"Hai-hai! Favorite sister speaking, I'd like waffles please!"

I just roll my eyes, even laugh to myself a bit at the situation. The laugh doesn't fade however once I take in the situation, it actually continues into a full blown chuckle.

"Ehh… I think we broke him Megurin." I don't hear a response but I get the sense that Shiro-senpai was nodding her head in agreement.

I calm down from my small bout of laughter, honestly what was with me? Isn't this what my life is now? This I could say, without a doubt, was my home. My future? Isn't that something that 'future' me is supposed to take care of? This, is what was normal to me, why was I getting worked up this past week? It all seemed distant so me.

I go to wipe my face subconsciously, feeling my arm get wet. What the hell happened to me?

As I finish rubbing my eyes, I see both the girls go quiet and give me relieved smiles, did they… notice I was crying in my sleep? Was this their way of cheering me up?

I sigh, really… I must be a real fuck up to need these two illogical girls to worry about someone as useless as me.

"Right, right." I lift my hands up in mock surrender, "thanks girls."

I see both girls give even bigger smiles as Aneki nods her head excitedly, "mm!"

I go to ruffle her head as Shiro-senpai gives me a pout, in which I just laugh at her expense. That is, until she clocked me on the side of the head.

"Ack!"

" _Then… do your best."_

What… was that?

* * *

I finish preparing breakfast and call the two girls over to the small table. As I lay the food out, I see Aneki appear in an instant and start mowing down her food, as Shiro-senpai joins a little later.

"Thanks for the meal." She politely expresses.

"Schank fow deh mewl." I hear Aneki follow up with her face full. Honestly, does she ever learn?

"What do you girls want to drink?" I tone out casually as I finish putting away the pots and pans, drying my hand on a nearby hand-towel.

"Alcohol!"

"Beer."

They both answer about the same time, "well that's too damn bad, all we have is water."

"Ehh…" both girls tone out rather pathetically.

As I place both their glasses down, "so what're your guys' plan for the day? It is a weekend after all." I go to check the time from the stove, it was around noon.

"Why don't we go out on a date!" Shiro-senpai answers enthusiastically.

"I'm right here!" Aneki yells out as a response.

"So?"

At that both girls go back to their glaring contest as I _swear_ electricity was striking between them.

"Well, I'm going to take my shower now," I say offhandedly, "I wonder what I should do today…"

"Wha~at, I thought we were spending the day together Hachiman!" Aneki whines out.

"Says who?" I snap back. I just get a pout in response.

As I finish my shower, I come out to the living area in just my jeans, a towel wrapped around my neck as I use it to dry my hair off, My hair was draping over my face from the sheer length its grown, while it being wet made it even more noticeable. I go to flip my hair over my head to get it out of my vision, wiping the towel across my face to dry it. I turn around towards the kitchen as I see the two girls ogling me with a dreamy look, both their faces red.

"What." I tone out simply. I'm received without a response as they both just look towards the TV once again, I roll my eyes, well whatever. I make my way back to my room to finish drying myself off, for some reason it seemed like the shirt I picked out disappeared from the bathroom, oddly enough. I was pretty sure it was under my towel, and the door to the bathroom was definitely locked… maybe.

As I finish dressing in my casual clothes I walk out of my room, an outfit that Aneki bought me while we were at the shopping centre.

"I told you it'd look good on him Megurin!" My sister squeals out, she instantly snaps a picture with her phone, the annoying shutter going off. Shiro-senpai just nods in agreement.

I get a tick of annoyance, "I'm not some fashion model, alright?!"

"Plus, I'm just wearing 'cause it's kind of cold out, and the fabric is high quality."

The clothes were nice, they fit my frame pretty well. It accented the better parts of my build to make me appear more slim, yet toned. In all honestly they looked nice, it was just…

"You know if it weren't for his face, he'd look like a real pretty boy huh, Haruno?" Shiro-senpai comments offhandedly not even look my way.

I feel myself shatter at the affirmation, you know you didn't have to be so blunt about it! I go to sulk in a corner, there's no way I can walk around town like this! People will probably pass me off as someone of the Yakuza!

"Don't worry, I had that in mind already, that's why I got these!" As Aneki yells those words she reveals none other than…

"What the hell are those?!" I go to yell in her face, hoping for salvation, instead all it was was a fake pair of glasses with a nose and mustache attached to them.

"Hehe~" With that, my sister just sticks her tongue out at me.

She's mocking me, I swear she's doing this on purpose!

"So," I start off once everything gets settled, I somehow find myself sandwiched between the two girls on the couch, "did you girls decide on what to do today?"

They both have their eyes glued to the TV and just shrug in unison,"not really."

"Nope, nothing at all."

I feel my sweat drop as I look at them, what a bunch of lazy bums, "well I think I'll go run a few errands myself. I need to shop for _real_ food, I'll probably make a grocery run; do you girls need anything while I'm out?"

"Beer!" They both respond in varying forms of enthusiasm.

Oi, oi, you guys aren't even of drinking age, let alone me!

"And just how do you expect me to purchase said alcohol?"

They both just shrug, "you're smart, aren't you? You could figure it out."

"Hai, do your best Ototo, Onee-san will be waiting!"

I just shake my head, "and here I thought you guys would be dying to go out with me or something."

"I was interested until I heard, 'errands', plus it's really cold outside, I didn't bring any extra clothes, just my uniform."

"You could always wear my clothes Megurin!"

"I think your proportions are a bit off there, Aneki."

As soon as those words left my mouth I feel an ominous aura wash over me, an intense stare coming from the couch. I feel my hairs stand on end as I slowly look towards the source as I see an extremely irritated Shiro-senpai.

She clenches her hands into a fist, making sure to have them in my sight, "oi, Hachiman?" She tones out sweetly, "I hope you aren't comparing us girls chest size, are you?"

At that I decide it was probably best to leave now, "no, of course not!" And with that I quickly shut the door behind me and breathe a sigh of relief. However that relief was short lived.

"Hikigaya-kun?"

I just sigh out, for some reason, I wasn't really surprised.

As both Yukinoshita and I walk through the front lobby, I'm instantly assaulted by the bitter cold winds, why the hell was it so cold today?

"So," I start off the conversation, "what're you doing today?" I slow my pace down to match hers.

I see her cat ears twitch a bit, "w-well, nothing much really. I don't really go out on weekends, I just happen to be passing by."

I feel my eyes narrow as I take her reasoning in, there was no way that she was there as a coincidence, was she waiting by her door or something? The talk with her sister coming back to memory.

"… _a very dark individual back then, almost obsessive."_

"Yukinoshita." I finally call her out, stopping in my tracks. I feel her bump into me with a squeak, "w-what is it?" She distractedly responds rubbing her nose a bit.

Should I really ask her about that day? Why did it even matter, Yukinoshita is Yukinoshita right? Regardless of the reasoning or whatever, she's still the same girl, right? I steal a glance at her, she wasn't in her school uniform but dressed in her casual clothes for a chilly day. We lock eyes and she tilts it a bit in questioning and my face goes a bit red.

C-c-cute! Totally cute!

"Want to come help me… shop for groceries?" In the end, I decided against asking the question, it didn't really feel like the appropriate time or place. I see her eyes glow up and her face turn a bit red, "o-of course!" And her ears stand on end as her tail whips back and forth excitedly.

I laugh a bit to myself and go to pet her ears, ruffling her head a bit, "sounds good." I give her a small smile, in which she returns with a nod.

* * *

"Ne, ne, Hikigaya-kun what're these?" I see Yukinoshita scitter ahead of me as I walk through the supermarket, honestly how old was she? Five?

"Those would be pineapples…" I tone out exhausted, I can see why her sister never takes her to go shopping.

She goes to pick one up, inspecting it slowly, "they smell sweet!" Before suddenly dropping it in surprise. I hear a quick 'ouch' and she goes to glare(hiss?) at the said fruit.

I shake my head, "you need to be careful, some of them have really sturdy thorns on the skin, especially the leaves."

She just gives me a pout as I scold her, "here, let me see it." And she reluctantly shows me her finger, it was a bit red, but that's it. I simply just smack it, which elicits another yelp from the cat girl, "w-what do you think you are doing, Hikigaya-kun?!"

I just shrug my shoulders, "doesn't hurt anymore does it." I simply respond.

After her outburst she slowly shakes her head, and I just smile triumphantly, "all you have to do is get your mind off of it, it's not like it was something major or anything."

"Still, putting your hands on a woman, just how deplorab-" She starts.

"Yes, yes, I'm such a terrible individual who has no chance of a future with a woman, I get it." I finish for her.

She puffs her cheeks out and wraps her arms around her chest in a pout, "well you're no fun…" She says as an aside. I just roll my eyes in response, but stop as something catches my eye. Noticing my stare, Yukinoshita also looks to where I was looking.

"You really enjoy these right?" I simply comment, "why don't I buy a pack for the club? That way we don't have to waste money on the vending machine. It's cheaper to buy it in a pack."

What I found was the peach drink that I've purchased for her a few times back at school. I see her tail speed up its movement, "r-really?!"

As I look to Yukinoshita she seemed really on edge, like a child who could only choose one candy bar from the checkout line.

"Really." I simply respond, "what, does Komachi not allow you to drink this kind of stuff or something?"

Keeping her eyes on the drink, she shakes her head, "nope. All I'm allowed to drink is water or juices packed with vitamins, she says beverages like these are not only a waste of money, but also filled with sugar."

I just laugh in my head, that girl must really have it tough living alone with that useless cat, though she was surprisingly strict.

"So how about it?" I continue from where I left off, "would you like peach again?"

As I go to reach out for a pack, she slaps my hands quickly, keeping her intense gaze on the drinks, "what the-"

"Pineapple." She simply responds.

"Huh?" I finally answer back once I register her words, what about Pineapples?

"I want to try the pineapple flavor." She elaborates.

I just sigh, "remember, we're buying a whole pack, what if you end up not liking it?"

She finally tears her gaze away from the drinks and looks to me with a pout, her cat ears drooping in disappointment. I feel my heart tug a bit, how the hell can someone resist a look like that!

I look off to the side to avoid her gaze, "h-how about I buy a pack of the Peach flavor then I'll buy one of the pineapple for you to taste? That way the pineapple one will be refrigerated and you can taste it while its cold." I compromise.

I go to look back to Yukinoshita as her ears and tail stand on end as she pounces towards me in a hug, I take a step back to catch the sudden weight being thrown at me.

"Y-you really are the best, Hikigaya-kun!" she purrs in delight.

"Hai, hai." I simply agree, patting her head, before realizing that rather compromising position we were in as people were starting to give us stares.

"Wow, couples like that actually exist?" I hear off to the side.

"You think they're roleplaying or something? In public?" Another voice.

"Kyaa~ how embarrassing! We should try sometime babe!" And another.

"W-what?!"

I go to grab Yukinoshita's hand and tear her away from me, she responds with a small pout as I straighten my clothes out and cough into my hand. I grab the desired items and make my way towards the checkout without another a word, Yukinoshita following a few steps behind.

* * *

As we make our way out the supermarket I gently toss the Pineapple beverage towards Yukinoshita, "alright, that's about everything I need, would you like to have the drinks, or should I just hold onto them?" I ask as Yukinoshita and I step in sync once again.

We were currently making our way back to the complex, "U-uh, I guess it doesn't really matter, Komachi might say something if I hold onto them though, so maybe it's best if…" She trails off.

"Right, no, of course. I get it." I simply finish for her. She just nods, her face a bit down. Was she feeling guilty? Or maybe it was something else?

Soon enough, we make our way to our respective doors, "thank you again for the drinks, Hikigaya-kun."

I just wave her off as she enters her door, and I enter mine.

"Hachiman~!" I hear Aneki's voice call for me from the living area. As I take off my shoes I head for the kitchen and restock our fridge, organizing everything the way I like it; as it should be.

"Yes, what is it, sister dearest." I answer back as I unload the groceries.

"Did you bring us any food Hachiman." Except another voice answers me instead, one that seemed annoyed, "I'm starving, and Haruno can't cook to save her life."

"Hey!"

I just sigh, "you guys have phones, right? Why didn't you order food or something?"

"If you couldn't tell, I'm a guest here," Shiro-senpai simply states, "plus, I didn't exactly think I'd be spending the night, I didn't bring any cash and Haruno is... "

"Right, of course." I answer for her, "well you two seem impatient, so I guess cooking is out of the question, here." I simply toss my wallet to Aneki who tries to catch it midair, but it fumbles a few times and Shiro-senpai simply grabs it.

"Order whatever you guys want, something for me too." As I say that I see both the girls eyes light up, "if I get any weird charges on my card I'm canceling any pending transactions and file a fraud claim which _you_ have to pay me back." I answer swiftly.

I instantly see the light in the girls' eye die as there mouths turn to lines. I just grin a bit as I continue sorting everything. As I finish up, I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket.

* * *

[From: Yukineko-tan

Good evening, Komachi said she wanted to thank you. 7:43 PM]

* * *

I found that a bit weird, but responded nonetheless. As I hit send, I see another message pop up, except it wasn't from Yukinoshita.

* * *

[From: Ms. Antisocial

So, it's been a day or so, it's time to pay up. 7:43 PM]

* * *

I feel my sweat drop a bit, maybe this could wait… Though as soon as that thought enters my mind, another message.

* * *

[From: Ms. Antisocial

And before you think of blowing me off again, I got a video of you _role playing_ with your cat girlfriend. Meet me at the strip, same place as last time. I'll give you 'til 8:00 before I upload it.

Xoxo. 7:45 PM]

* * *

I just internally sigh, this was like, what? The tenth time I've done this today? And who the hell ends their messages with 'xoxo'?!

As I clean up the grocery bags, I do a few stretches and let loose a few joints, before grabbing my keys, "oi, toss me my wallet will you? I need to go out for a bit."

I lift up my hand as a wallet makes contact with it as it sails from the couch, "where are you going this late? It's not a girl is it?!" Suddenly after that though, Aneki comes bounding over the couch getting into my face once again.

My sweat drops as I lift my hands up, "n-nah, Yato asked for a favor of sorts, it'll prob take like an hour or so."

As I say those words, Aneki eyes me suspiciously before closing her eyes in deep concentration tapping a finger on her chin, "mm…."

"If you guys want to have a porn viewing session, just say so." Shiro-senpai says from over the couch, "though if you ever want a homemade video of just us two for future use, I wouldn't mind that either."

O-oi! That's not something you should say so casually!

"No way, _I_ should be the one making it!"

"Whaaat?!" I tone out incredulously.

That would be ten, no 100 times as worse!

"Whatever! I'm leaving now, be back in a bit, Aneki."

For some reason I go to pat her shoulder reassuringly as I make my way past her, "do your best not to burn the house down, alright?"

"O-of course not! How would that happen anyways?!" She shouts back annoyed. I just shrug, "I'm sure you'd figure out a way to do it"

Her face puffs out as tears start to form from the corner of her eyes, "Jerk! Stupid! Nincompoop! Hachiman!"

"How many times do I have to tell you, 'Hachiman' isn't an insult!"

" _...do your best."_

* * *

I go to lock my phone as I send my latest message to the blackmailer, I swear I'll get her back one of these days!

"Hi." I suddenly hear a quiet voice as I enter the clothing store, I look around only to see Ms. Antisocial perusing a rack of clothes in the men's section, not even turning to look at me. She was wearing a sports hat with sunglasses, it almost looked like she was going undercover, but it was probably a 'fashion statement'.

I quietly go beside her, falsely browsing the same rack as her.

"Well, I'm here, so can you delete the video now?" I whisper harshly to her. She seems to be unaffected, still looking through the rack, "yeah, of course. We had a deal didn't we?"

I breathe a sigh of relief, "but I'll only delete it after we're done, a safety measure."

I just wave her off, "yeah, yeah, whatever. Can we get this over with?"

She finally stops, and just nods at me with her trademark two-fingered 'peace' sign. She gives me a once over, looking at me from head to toe, nodding in the process. "Wow… nice. This is totally the look I'm going for, mm." She continues to nod and talk to herself but her face scrunches up a bit when her eyes meet mine.

Without even having her speak I could tell what was going through her head, "not the face you're hoping for?"

She holds my gaze a bit more, "actually no, this works perfectly." She answers, more akin to commenting to herself, "I know I said I wanted to exclude your face, but do you mind if I use it? Your whole visage gives off the bad boy look." I could see a dangerous sparkle popping up in her eyes, like a young adult finding his older brother's porn stash.

I hold up my hands immediately, "sorry, can't' do." I answer as my arms go to make an 'x' shape in front of me.

"Ehh…" she tones out bitterly, before whining "why not~?"

Oi, what are you? A twelve year old kid?

"The point is to remain anonymous, that's why I'm going through all the trouble of taking down these videos! Exposing my face will have the same effect as me letting the videos get uploaded!"

She just tilts her head to the side, "no it doesn't."

I just face plant into the ground, "w-well, whatever! I just don't want people to know I've been doing any of this, alright?"

She holds her ground as a hand goes to her chin in a 'thinker' pose, "what if I paid you?" She counter offers.

"No way." I, again, cross my arms.

She just blows a raspberry in annoyance, "fine."

"So how does this exactly work?" I ask to get the conversation back on track.

She hums in thought, "it's kind of dark out, so having a photo shoot outside may be a bit hard… actually no." She interrupts her own monologue, "this could be perfect!" She goes to check her bags once more, before she nods to herself.

"We're gonna have to go downtown, towards the red light district."

I just quietly follow along, not really caring what sort of conversations she had with herself, though that one line caught my attention.

...red... light… district?

"OI, WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT. YOU REALLY ARE AFTER ME AREN'T YOU!" I yell incredulously at her, taking a few steps back as I point at her.

"H-Huh?! No, that's not it at all!" She yells back, "what kind of sick perverted scenario is going through your head!"

"Me?!" I answer, "you're the one who just said you wanted to go towards the red light district!"

As I say that out loud, I see people around quicken their steps and try to avoid us, I can only imagine the wild rumors springing up about us!

"K-k-k-keep y-your voice down!" She whispers harshly to me, "do you just attract attention to yourself on purpose?!"

"It was your own words!" I argue back, in a heated whisper.

"Yes, idiot, that place is brimming with artificial light!" She tries to explain, "taking photos there will help the exposure, plus the background will give a 'nightlife' vibe to the whole picture, I have the perfect outfit in mind!"

"Then why didn't you just say so in the first place!" I seethe, "the way you said it made way more complicated!"

"No, you just like jump to conclusions!"

"W-whatever!"

* * *

We make our way further and further into the city, passing by the cafe that our club had our little skit at on the way. It took around twenty minutes, and the sky began to darken to a pitch black. It was still early, but it seems the 'nightlife' of Chiba was beginning to take off. We didn't have much time before the streets were going to be packed with the older citizens, even the less favorable.

I glance to Ms. Antisocial as we quicken our pace, she seemed a bit on edge. I guess I couldn't really blame her, this wasn't my first time around these kind of areas. When I traveled with Father he sometimes met clients at places around here, it didn't really do well to have a child at these parts, but the Hostesses of said places would usually take care of me. Sometimes they were dressed quite erotically and left little to the imagination.

"I'd say we have about half an hour," I comment as we both keep walking, she looks towards me in question, "it wouldn't do well for minors like us to be caught around these streets once the businesses start booming, a lot of drunks and other types will start showing up." I explain.

She just nods a bit, her hand grabbed the ends of her jacket in a vain attempt at comfort. I was pretty conflicted, should I… comfort her, maybe? It's not like I really had any interaction with her.

"Find a spot you wanted to take a picture yet?" I spring out of the blue, it was to keep us on track.

"There's a certain bar that has a cabaret theme to it, the outside is pretty well lit and the scenery around it would make for excellent backdrop, we should be arriving there soon." She simply responds.

I always thought my English was pretty good, but that was the first time I heard that word, "kah-ba-ray? What's that?"

"Nothing of importance, let's hurry up."

We quicken our pace and within the a few minutes I find myself in front of a large building that seemed like a late 50's american theatre. There were showtimes, large vintage posters, advertisements of surrounding settlements and _a lot_ of neon signs. I give Ms. Antisocial a skeptical look, was this really a bar?

"You sure we got the right spot? Looks like a theatre to me."

She just nods, "I'm pretty sure, even if it wasn't this spot is perfect!" She seemed to basking in the atmosphere, taking every detail in like she was burning it into her memory. She gives a final nod after a few minutes and takes my hand, dragging me inside.

"O-oi! We're underaged! We can't get in!" I struggle against her hold, but it seemed hell-bent on not letting go.

"I've come prepared," she simply responds over her shoulder, "plus how're you going to change? Out in the cold?"

Well, she did have a point there I guess.

"I still don't get how were going to get allowed in." I whisper to her as we get closer to the entrance.

"I have a fake I.D, as for you, you look pretty mature in that get up; especially with those eyes of yours. Just put on your most intimidating face, you're part of the drama club, right? Start acting!"

First of all, there were many things wrong with that statement. Second, that's way easier said than done!

Before I have chance to voice my grievances, we show up to the entrance. We walk through a luxurious set of doors and upon entry my ears are assaulted with the chatter of various patrons, the clinking of glasses, and smooth jazz playing in the background. The whole floor was carpeted and towards the center was a large round stage. There were various tables surrounding said stage, almost like a theatre and gave everyone a clear view of it. Off to my right was a large bar that anyone could sit around, a full 360, while in its center had a lineup of various alcoholic drinks on both sides. Expensive looking glasses hanging from the top of the bar as finely dressed bartenders walked around behind the bar fetching drinks, taking orders, and polishing glasses. The interior of place seemed of high class as there were chandeliers giving light for the most part, various neon signs littered around directing anyone's attention towards the center stage. There was a distinct choice of red for the interior.

This place seemed like a whole new world to me, I finally understood when people talked about the 'adult life'.

"Ah welcome to the 'Alley Cat's Bar & Cabaret', just the two of you?" A voice shakes me out of my stupor, the greeter most likely.

"Yes, just me and my boyfriend for the evening." Ms. Antisocial answers without a beat, I just look off to the side uninterested, though my hairs were standing on end. He gives a curious glance to my companion, probably due to her outfit.

"Of course, may I see a form of I.D?" In response, Ms. Antisocial just shows her fake I.D from her purse. The greeter gives it a once over before looking back to said girl, then back to the I.D. I get the sudden urge to bolt through the door, and I eye if anyone else was close by. I could probably distract him long enough for me and Ms. Antisocial to make a run for it.

"Please enjoy the show, Ms. Miura. As for you?" With her entrance he suddenly turns to me, I start to sweat, what the hell am I even supposed to say?

Suddenly another voice interrupts us, a rather soft and feminine voice, "ara, if it isn't Hikigaya-san, welcome back!"

Said voice soon takes my arm into… her's(?). "If you don't mind Ayatsuji-san, I'll be taking it from here." The greeter in question just nods his head and gives us a smile.

I hear Ms. Antisocial just cough to get my attention as she makes her way over to the bar and sits down. I nod my head once I catch her eye and turn my attention towards the our newest member, "I'm sorry… do I know you?"

A soft 'eh?!' comes out, before she(?) waves her hand in front of her face. I get a good look at her, she was pretty short, maybe the same height as Yuigahama. Her chest was almost completely flat, but it was sort of perky on her small body. She was currently dressed in a black leotard, fishnets around her legs and flats on her feet. There was small cotton… tail? I guess? On the back of her leotard. Her arms were bare and on top of her head were bunny ears.

Ah… so it's a bunny girl.

What, cats more of your type or something?

Honestly? I think we can actually agree on something for once.

I get a good look at her face and my face flushes instantly. This girl was seriously adorable! Like beyond cute! She gives me a bashful look once she notices my intense stare and looks off to the side. She had very pale blue eyes, like a steel grey, and her face was very 'feminine' I guess would be a way to put it, like a pop star. Her hair was light grey, or maybe silver, and it extended past her shoulders. In all honestly I found her extremely attractive. For some reason, she seemed a bit familiar but I couldn't really get firm grasp on that observation.

"So like… have we met before or…?" I try once again after I finish ogling her. She in returns just laughs nervously, I was starting to get suspicious of this girl, "o-oh! Uh… um, well you see…"

Before anything else could be said, another girl in what seemed to of been a goat costume comes up, "oi, Akias! You still need to take care of your tables, flirt later, c'mon!" And said girl was dragged off before she could answer.

Hmm… Akias, Akias-chan? Akias-san? Was there a client of my Father's business of that family name? It didn't ring any bells. Weird, how'd she know my name?

* * *

"So, now what?" I finally make my way over to the bar, I almost forgot why we were here.

"Took you long enough." Oi, are you pouting?

"Yes, yes, I'm very sorry... so?" I leave the question hanging, we really need to speed this up.

"I have the clothes I want you to wear in this bag. I've pieced together a full outfit, so make sure you wear everything in it, got it? You can just leave your clothes in the bag and keep these, my payment to you." She explains.

"And where exactly do I put these on?"

"Uhh… the bathroom?" She gives me a look like I was mentally handicapped.

Oh right, no that exactly makes sense…

I make my way towards the restrooms. I go into the 'everyone's' single bathroom and lock the door behind me, stripping my clothes off. The bathroom was actually really nice, it didn't smell of chemicals and the sink was made of fine cut marble. As soon as I finish my outfit change I give myself a once over. I didn't really get it, it was definitely a fashion trend I was unaware of, and I honestly felt a bit uncomfortable but whatever.

As I leave the bathroom, I see a few people glance towards me and I get a bit self-conscious. I must've looked like a clown. I just sigh, it's not like I haven't experienced this sort of stuff before, but it's been so long that it seems I've lost my edge. Back then, I probably would've taken it in full stride, but now…

Ahh! This is super embarrassing! Why the hell am I even doing this?! Everyone's staring at me!

Well yeah, who the hell wouldn't? You _literally_ changed your whole outfit.

But still…

It's like seeing a trendy hipster walk in, then go the bathroom and come out looking like someone from a fashion magazine under 'popular outfits for late outings' or something, it's ridiculous. Of course people would look. No one just ups and switches outfit, much less at a bar.

Okay, okay! I get it!

I see Ms. Antisocial give me a once over and a nod with a thumbs up.

"Lookin' good." She approves. I just wish I shared her sentiments.

We finally make our way towards the front as she gets her digital camera out, it seemed quite expensive, a DSLR maybe?

"So, where should I stand?" I ask out, she was quite a few feet from me.

"Right there is fine." She answers back, I hear a the camera's shutter a few times. She begins to move around, catching different angles of me. Honestly it was quite embarrassing being the subject of a photo, I go to look away from her in embarrassment and rub the back of my neck.

"Oh, oh! That's a perfect pose! Keep it like that!" I hear her shout out, she seemed really excited and was most definitely enjoying herself. It was worlds away from her at school, she was always so quiet, almost like she hated being there. But now, I got to see a different side of her. I even had to admit, her genuine smile was kind of breathtaking. Maybe because it was so rare?

I just decided to let loose and try to enjoy the moment, striking up different poses, who knows maybe I look cool or something?

"Uh… could you stop that? You might think you look cool or something but I'm just getting creeped out." She shouts out blankly.

"O-oi! I was just trying to loosen up! I'm new to this sort of thing you know!" All the while I was yelling I heard the shutter of the camera again.

"Did you just take pictures of me?!" I yell out.

I hear her just burst out into laughter, the first time I probably ever heard her actually laugh. For some reason I felt my anger subside a bit, but I was still annoyed.

"Y-you know," she starts off, rubbing her tears from the laughter, "you're a pretty funny guy, you know that, Hikio?"

H-Hikio?!

I just grumble to myself, "didn't you just say I looked lame?" I pout. "And that's Hikigaya to you!"

"Haha, yeah," she answers truthfully, "but that's with anyone, the more stiff you are, the more awkward it looks, candid poses are the way to go."

We continue our 'photoshoot' for about 10 more minutes until she was satisfied.

"Alright! I think I got enough to make a solid blog post now!" She yells out with a grin and enthusiasm that was somewhat infectious.

"How many do you use, usually?" I ask, curious

She stops and thinks, "maybe around 5?" At that answer I just fall flat on my face, what the hell?!

"We had to take at least 50 or more!" I whine.

"Well, yes, that's true." She agrees, "but a lot are pretty bad, I only want to show off the best. Wanna take a look?"

Both of us found ourselves walking in sync, I slowed a bit behind her so she could show me the pictures as I glance over shoulder towards the screen on the camera. We probably seemed pretty intimate in this position, like a tourist couple, but I didn't really mind. Some of the pictures really did turn out pretty good. The more I looked at them, the more I actually liked the outfit.

We continue walking in the rather intimate position, even laughing at a few of the pictures. The ones she took of me while yelling at her even made me laugh a bit.

"Say," she starts off, I just look down towards her, "why don't we take a picture together?"

I feel my face get a bit hot, "s-sure, why not?" She just smiles and gives a slight nod. I didn't really know what she had in mind, but she suddenly grabs my arm into hers and leans most of her body into me, her other hand extending the camera and she takes a blind shot of the two of us.

She goes to look at the picture, as I try to glance at it over shoulder as well, but she just hides it from my sight.

"Oi, I want to see it too, I'm in it aren't I?" I tell her.

She just continues to hide the camera and sticks her tongue out at me, "bleeh~"

Alright, that does it!

I go to try snatch the camera away from her, but she just swiftly gets it out of my reach every time I get close to it. Eventually I try to get a hold onto her, but she just runs away laughing, I chase after her, in part for the camera, but mostly because it was dangerous to go running around alone this late in the city.

"O-oi! Stop!" I try to yell at her, she just turns around to answer me, "you can't catch me~"

"No, seriously stop! Miura!" I try to get her attention by using her actual name, she gets confused before she bumps into someone, a guy much larger than her. She eventually falls on her butt, and I try to catch up to her.

The guy she bumped into, just gets a tick of annoyance, "what the hell? Watch where you're going, bitch."

I see her freeze up in place, as she lowers her head, "sorry." She answers back.

The guy in question just leans down, "huuuuh? I couldn't quite hear you."

Miura finally gets to her feet, "sorry." She again, simply answers back. At this point the older guy gets annoyed and goes for a backhand, "what are you? Fucking mute or something?"

However before it connects I intercept his hand, finally making it by her side, "h-hey now," I start off, struggling to hold the guy's hand in place, he was definitely bigger and stronger than I was. "There's no need to hit a girl, right?"

As both of us struggle against each other, he finally tears his hand away, "tch, tell your bitch to look where's she going next time, alright pretty boy?"

He seems about to leave but instead, picks up the camera, "huh? What's this? A memento of yours?" He turns around and I see a couple of guys behind him, some of them looking wasted.

"Get a load of this guys, we got a couple of tourists!" He laughs out loud, "is that why your girl here is so quiet? What is she, some kind of foreigner?"

I see Miura go to clench her fists, before the guy continues, turning back to me, "haha! So that's why she can hardly speak!" He goes up to her again, "You, sorry, yes?" Speaking in a deliberately slow manner before laughing again.

One of the guys behind finally speak out, "oi, just let them go, they're only kids."

It was starting to annoy me, but I kept my mouth shut. If we endure it a little longer, he'll eventually get bored. Just like in middle school, there are bullies everywhere.

"Give it back." I hear Ms. Antisocial say quietly. This peaks the interest of the guy, "shut it Taeka, what was that Ms. Foreigner? You, sad, no?" And he goes back to laughing.

I almost snap, but I just take a deep breath, keeping an eye on the people in back, seemed like a group of five total.

"Give me back my camera!" She finally shouts out, and she lunges for the camera. The man just shakes it out of her reach as he was taller, she goes for jump but he just tosses it to someone behind him, in which Ms. Antisocial goes for it again. This game of hot potato continues for few minutes. I didn't really know what I could do to help, if I tried to grab it I'd just be in the way. Plus being surrounded by them was _not_ a good idea.

"Please just give us the camera back, I'm sorry for the trouble we may of caused." I finally speak up, bowing my head to the pack of guys; pride be damned!

The main guy, catches the camera, holding it up away from Ms. Antisocial, "hoh? Looks like someone actually knows how to respect their elders, you should learn a thing or two, foreigner!"

And with that the guy simply throws the camera. I see it sail through the air as Miura and I try to go catch it, but the strength of the throw was too great and the camera shatters across the pavement, inches from our hands. I hear the annoying laugh of the guy echoing into the night.

I didn't know how to feel. Anger? Sadness? Disappointment? Maybe even some sort of relief. I go to gather the pieces as I look to Ms. Antisocial, she was dropped to her knees looking at the camera, I hear her sniffling as a few tears fall from behind her glasses.

I didn't really know what to do.

"I-I could always buy you a new one." I try to help cheer her up. I'm received without a response.

"Hey, look…" I try once again, but she simply just holds onto my sleeve, I meet her eyes as it swells with tears, "t-the pictures…"

I feel as if someone had struck me when I hear her words.

"C'mon now, we can always retake them, it's no big de-"

"It's not the same!" She yells out, cutting me off, "this was the first time I've done a photo shoot with someone besides myself!" She yells, more tears streaming down her face, "it was fun! I was going to keep all of the pictures! I wanted to remember this day!"

Her hands go to her eyes, "we did our best to get these pictures, and now…" She trails, off but continues to sob, "the picture we took together…"

" _...your best."_

Seeing her in that pathetic state, something had snapped within me.

I ball my hands into a fist, not realizing the broken camera pieces were still in it, I could feel blood drip from my hands, but I didn't care, " _bastards…_ " I whisper. I could feel something welling up inside, ready to burst out. It almost felt like the time Yato and I were on the playground all those years ago. I don't know what set me off, but I was _livid_.

"Those _bastards_!" I seethe out, throwing the bloody remains of the camera, getting up I look behind me to see those idiots still laughing seeming to be waiting outside of a bar, a cigarette break most likely.

"Hikio…?" I hear Ms. Antiosocial's faint voice but I ignore it. The more I thought about it, the more pissed I got. All that time I spent walking here? All the embarrassment I felt changing in an out of clothes? The sheer ridicule I got from taking those pictures? The amount of work Miura spent on the pictures? How happy she seemed to finally get the pictures she wanted? Her… smile?

All of it: wasted!

Abhorrence welled up inside me, this kind of treason had to paid back, it demanded blood!

"You bastards!" I yell out, charging the one guy who stood out the most, the ringleader.

He goes to look at me in surprise but that face soon became deformed as my fist collided into it, the punch felt a bit awkward as he was taller than me, but is seemed to of floor him. I instantly mount on top of him, and continue to litter him with blows, but his hands come up to block my assault. I didn't care, all I felt was anger, rage; something had to be done about this!

"Apologize!" I yell out, continuing to swing.

"T-the fuck are you talking about!" I hear him yell back, as one of the other guys yank me off of him, I struggle in his grasp, but he had a firm hold, "oi oi, lets calm down yeah?" He tries to reason with me, but I just stomp on his foot, his hold loosens and I do a spinning elbow strike to the side of his face, getting him off of me. I see the other guys finally snap to attention as soon as I did that, "hey! Taeka, you alright?!"

"He was just trying to help, you fucking kid!"

"Get his ass!"

I see three other guys come towards me, the original one on the floor still a bit dazed. This was bad, if I don't fight with a clear head I'll end up-

My thoughts were cut short as I feel a fist collide across my face from a haymaker, my vision blurs a bit and I stumble backwards, but I fell someone catch me and throw me forwards again, from my dazed state I couldn't stop myself and I feel a sudden pain in my abdomen. I cough out, the wind knocked out of me, as I crumple to the floor. I remember to breathe and take shallow breaths.

"Not so tough now, huh brat?!"

I sense a curb stomp going for my back as I roll out of the way and stand back up, rubbing my mouth I see a large streak of blood get wiped on my clothes and spit the remaining welled up blood.

"Five grown men against one highschool student; wow aren't you guys fucking talented!" I spit out, trying to rile them up. With that one of them start to charge and I get into a proper stance, regulating my breathing. Just remember the lessons from Senpai.

As the man meets up with me he goes for a right hook, I intercept it with my hand and at the same moment I retaliate with a few jabs and a roundhouse, he blocks the follow up and even ducks the end of my string, but I feint the kick and stop myself in a side stance where I deliver a swift hook kick. A hear a smack as the man freezes up and drops like a severed tree.

"Fuck it, get him! Who cares if he's a kid!"

With a coordinated attack I was at a disadvantage, as the original guy finally gets up from the floor, three of them come at me at the same. Every time I dodged or parried a strike, another would follow up. I had no space to breathe let alone counter attack, and as I feel my body start to ache, I hear a sickening crunch as one of the guys blindsided me with a powerful mid kick to my shin. I felt it move in place and an extreme pain shoots up my leg and I lose my balance. As soon as I was grounded I go to cover my head as I feel a multitude of legs start to kick and stomp on me.

I kind of regret getting into this situation as my anger was starting to subside, I could feel my limbs going numb, and a large pain shoots up my leg as someone forcefully stomps on my injured leg. I cry out in pain, tears welling up. I grit my teeth and try to endure it, my only solace was thinking of the camera. The more anger I felt, the inverse applied to the pain, if even a bit.

"HIKIGAYA!" I hear Miura's voice yell out, but I couldn't really do much. I wonder how long she's been there. My mind starts to wander as I keep taking a beating, my conscious fading to black every now and then. I don't think I could keep this up much longer.

I suddenly hear a lot of footsteps coming my way, and the sounds of sirens, but it all seemed so distant. I couldn't even tell if I was still getting pounded or not, my whole body had gone slightly numb. I could tell that something was wrong with my right leg too. In my darkening vision I see Ms. Antisocial face, it was streaked with tears, my head seemed to of been placed onto something soft. I couldn't hear her voice, but her mouth was moving.

 _I'm… sorry_? Is that what she was saying? I laugh a bit in my head, what the hell do you have to be sorry about? It's all my fault anyways. I can feel my body being lifted and my whole body was placed on something soft. It was comfy, comfy enough to…

Fall asleep.

…

* * *

" _then we can go back to how we used to be, right?"_

Used to be… huh? You know once I think about it, Haru-nee really did make it to Student Council President, didn't she? I don't think I ever congratulated her. I think back to when I first arrived here at Sobu, have we gone back to the way used to be? I'm not really sure, we definitely are closer than we used to be, so maybe I'm on the right track?

Maybe I should give Haru-nee some slack, I'm sure she's doing her best as well.

I suddenly hear noises, almost like muffled speaking. I couldn't really make out what any of them were saying, where was I again?

…

I slowly open my eyes, my vision was blurry, I close them again and all I see is black. I try once again, and the sight in front of me is still blurry, but I didn't have any black vignettes this time. I close them once more and try to open my eyes again, the picture in front of me starts to clear. I see people sitting in front of me on a chair, people to my right as well. I couldn't make out their faces, but they seemed to of been sleeping. I wonder who they were…

I decide to close my eyes for a bit. But they don't seem to want to open anymore. Well… can't be helped can it?

* * *

I rouse from my sleep as I try to sit up a feel a pain shoot through my whole body, what the fuck?!

I suddenly hear loud beeping beside me, almost like an excessive alarm. I hear people burst into the room, as everyone else wakes up with a jolt.

"N-nurse! What's wrong?!" I see a woman in a labcoat rush through the door.

"It seems he has just woken up," she answers the one in question, before turning to me, "Hikigaya-san you musn't force yourself! You're still very wounded!" She tries to grab my shoulders and gently push me back onto the bed.

What? What the hell are you talking about? Let me go! As I try to move again, I feel pain shoot through me again. Agh! What the fuck!

I hear a multitude of voices calling my name, and it was starting to irritate me, I hear the beeping increase. I was starting to get really claustrophobic my breathing becoming irregular, seriously what the fuck was wrong with me?!

The yelling continues as more hands are put on me, I was seriously starting to get freaked out! What the hell are you people doing to me!

Suddenly a loud voice erupts from the room, "STOP!"

The whole room goes silent and I feel myself catch able to catch my breath, the erratic beeping slowing a bit.

"Everyone get the hell out," the voice continues to say, though more reserved. Silence envelops the room, " _ **NOW!**_ " She finishes with a final shout that shook me to the core.

I hear the shuffling of multiple footsteps as all the hands get taken off of me and I breathe a sigh of relief, the beeping going to a normal pace. I take a deep breath and blink a few times, finally taking in my surrounding. I look to my hands, was I in a hospital?

"Hachiman." I hear a soft voice from beside me, I look over and see Haru-nee. Her face seemed to be strained, her eyes puffy, her face streaked with old tears. She looked like a mess. I subconsciously reach out for her in which she grabs my hand and presses it to her cheek.

"Look at you, I'm gone for a few hours and you already look a mess." I tone out, offhandedly.

I see her face well up, before tears start streaming down her face, "Hachiman, you idiot…" She wails before going into a sobbing fit again. I didn't really know what was going on and I take a moment to clear my head and think. I was here because…

 _Miura._

I jolt myself a bit, fresh pain shooting throughout my being, "how's Miura?!" I yell out. I see Aneki jump a bit from my outburst, her face becomes kind of sour, "the girl you were with? She's fine."

I relax a bit, it all comes to me now, the camera; everything. I just sigh and lay back into my bed, "that's good…"

"Y'know I was really worried about you, and all you can think of are other girls?" I hear Aneki say in under her breath. It lacked the usual humor she usually held and she quickly stands up, "I'll go let the others know you're okay." Before she leaves however, I grab her hand and pull her towards me in a hug.

She stiffens up but relaxes a bit wrapping her arms around me in the process, "hey, I'm sorry I worried you." Something told me I had to do this, or I would end up regretting.

"You're so stupid... Such a jerk, what we're you thinking? Idiot, Hachiman."

I laugh a bit in my head, maybe 'Hachiman' was a valid insult after all.

My sister and I stay in the relatively intimate position for a few more minutes, a comfortable silence enveloping us.

"Hachiman?" I hear Haru-nee tone out from chest.

"Yeah, what is it?" I answer her back.

"You know," I hear Aneki break the silence, "I was really worried."

I just sigh, "I know." I answer softly.

"And you went out at night with another girl, downtown at that."

"I know." I answer again.

"You lied to me."

"I know."

"And you even got really hurt, do you know how that made me feel? Getting a phone call that you've been hospitalized after not answering my calls?"

I take all her words in and I suddenly couldn't look her in the eye, honestly… I really am the worst if I can make someone as useless as her worry about me. I just nod my head.

I feel a stinging sensation on my cheek, but I keep my gaze lowered, "you… you really are a dumbass! You know that!" I hear her raise her voice as it shakes a bit towards the end, fresh tears streaming down her face again.

I couldn't even fathom how she must of felt last night, if for some reason Haru-nee disappeared one night only to ignore my calls for hours on end at night, only to know she's been hospitalized I probably would've torn this town asunder, probably even blame myself for it all. With those thoughts I started to feel really shitty.

"I'm… really sorry, Haruno." I breathe out. "I don't really know what to say."

"That's what makes it so annoying!" She glares at me, " You always just brush me off; you don't care how it affects me or anyone else! what changed, Hachiman?!"

"Haru-nee I-" I try to respond, but my words are cut off as I feel a sensation on my lips. I was shocked, I honestly didn't know what to do in this situation. I know it was wrong, it's not like I was enjoying it or anything, I just didn't have the heart to stop her, especially from what had just been said.

" _Like we used to be."_

Just like we used to be… huh?

I finally break away from her, leaving her at an arm's length, "listen to me."

"No! Shut up! Just shut up! You always just do as you please! You never think how it'll affect me!" She yells into my chest, her voice growing softer with each insult, "this always happens, before I know it, you'll be dragged away from me again."

I see her stop struggling, but her form sags a bit and she avoids eye contact.

"Haruno, listen." I try to catch her attention, but she stays in that position, refusing to acknowledge me.

"You and I have been with each other since the beginning, it was just us against the world; we had to make everything work by ourselves." I keep my hold on her, keeping her at a distance where I could look her in the eye, "it may seem like I treat differently, coldly even. But you are still my sister, the one I love the most. Nothing will change that. I promise that I won't leave you by yourself anymore."

Haru-nee stays quiet for a few moments, seemingly collecting her thoughts, "you're not just saying that to be sappy, right?"

I feel myself blush a bit at those words, "uhh… fifty/fifty." I answer truthfully. She just scoffs and shakes her head, but leans herself into me.

"You didn't burn the house down while I was away did you?" I ask, embracing her once again.

She shakes her head into my chest, I go to rest my other hand on top of her head and start stroking her hair, "I'm glad, you did your best didn't you?"

She just nods her head, "good," I comment, "I'm proud to have you as my older sister."

* * *

After a few more minutes of our little heart to heart, Haru-nee went out to grab the others. I see Yato be the first one to rush in, going in for a half hearted headlock, "oi Hikigaya, what the fuck man! You scared the shit outta me!"

"Calm down, Hayato." Shiro-senpai follows up, "he's still injured."

Yato just ignores the comment, "you dumbass," he seethes, "do you have any idea how worried your sister was?!"

I just sigh, taking it all in, "yes I'm aware."

He lets go of his headlock and goes to grab my the collar of my shirt, forcing me to look at him. Everyone starts to yell in protest, talking about how I was 'still injured' or 'what's gotten into you?'. But he ignores all of them, his focus solely on me.

"Why didn't you call for help?" I hear him tone out, almost defeatedly. I look back to him in surprise and I was met with a face that didn't really suit his princely features. His face was contorted with a mix of emotions: anger, sadness, self-loathing. He avoids my gaze looking down to the floor, almost like he was angry at the floor instead of me. After a few moments he looks back to me, almost sad.

"Didn't we say we'd always have each other's back?!" He shakes me a bit, but I continue to remain silent. He lets go of my collar and sinks back a bit, "I should've been there for you…"

Everyone seems to quiet down once they hear his words. As much of a dick and absolute _playboy_ I remember why I called this asshole a best friend.

"Yeah, you're right," I finally answer, "but it couldn't be helped."

He just answers with a 'tch!' and looks of to the side, "I swear, if I see any _one_ of those fucking idiots, I'll return this debt tenfold. Nobody gets away with messing with the Hikigayas for free."

I see Shiro-senpai just go by his side, patting his shoulder with a 'hai, hai' and tries to cheer him up, but I could see a sinister look in her eyes, like she was having the same exact thoughts. I see my clubmates finally come up after Yato breaks away.

"How're you feeling Hikigaya-kun?" Yukinoshita was the first answer of the duo, asking a bit timidly; as if walking on eggshells.

"I've certainly been better," I comment, "though I've definitely been worse off."

I see her nod her head, Yuigahama staying silent behind her with a keen gaze held on me, as if she didn't really know what to say.

I hear Yukinoshita cough into her hand, "a-anyway, with the news Yuigahama-san and I were very worried for your well being, so, uh, here."

I see Yukinoshita hand me a cold drink, it was the same Pineapple one I had bought her before, except this time it was a Kiwi flavor. I accept the gift but look at her in questioning, "I thought you might like this flavor."

I look skeptically at the drink, "why kiwi?"

At this I see a spark of mirth in her eyes, "well, the first Kanji of 'kiwi' has the same Kanji in 'gross', so I thought it'd be fitting." **(A/N: 'Kiui' and 'Kimoi')**

Any sense of gratitude or any positive emotion I was starting to feel instantly shatter, as I feel a tick of annoyance spring throughout my being.

I instantly go to grab the stupid cat-demon's cheeks with both of my hands and stretch her face out, "huuuuuh?" I seethe out, "I'm sorry what was that, Yukinoshita- _san_ , my what an unpleasant thought." I tone out in a sickly sweet manner.

I see Yukinoshita start to squeal, "ow-ow-ow, that hurts! Hikigaya-kun!"

And with that, everyone presently in the room lets out a laugh including myself. I let go of Yukinoshita who rubs her now red cheeks a bit, before giving me a smile as well, "I'm glad you feel better," she softly says, "a face like this suits you more."

I couldn't help but smile to myself, was this what it felt like to have friends?

* * *

 **So uh, I'm back.**

 **This chapter was a bit longer than most; a sort of way to say sorry I guess. However with that in mind, the pacing might be a bit off and the general tone of the chapter may of been all over the place. If you guys think I should split it into two chapters for a better flow, feel free to let me know. I could break the the chapter into two when he goes out to meet Miura.**

 **I will compress chapter 2 and 3 later on in the week once people start to settle into the story once again, as those two chapters are really choppy.**

 **I know I've probably lost a large following as its been... two years? But, hey, I do enjoy this story, though its been so long I might of lost my sense of direction with it. If it seems out of place, please feel free to drop a review, I don't mind re-doing this chapter.**

 **As for reviews, I'm very happy that people are still dropping the occasional review, even during my Hiatus. I don't think I will be able to respond to any of them as its been so long, I'm not sure which reviews I responded to last, though I do appreciate everyone's review; even those who are just passing by.**

 **I want to thank everyone who're continuing to read this story, and still enjoy it. If I somehow lost you on this chapter, that's understandable, I hope I'm able to get back into it, and I thank you for the interest until this point.**

 **The subject matter itself, I'm not sure how I really feel about it. I think its an entertaining one, though I'm not exactly confident it fits in the current flow of the story. I'd love to hear your thoughts.**

 **As for everyone who has waited patiently, I know this probably wasn't the chapter you guys' wanted, and I'm sorry for that; and for the wait. But I do want to thank each and everyone one of you who have read up until this chapter, whether a veteran or a newcomer. I hope to see the end of this story with each of you.**

 **Thank you all for the support, I don't deserve it.**

 **Until next time,**

 **-Ausko**


End file.
